FIRESIDE CHAT MAY 2002
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Guido's Really Important Stuff
Pomo's Pointers
This is Your Captain Speaking
Dealing With Dann
Moogal's FireSide Log
Bob's Bits
Ian's Partnership Stuff
Special Treats
Ecofin's Forward to the Basics
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the May, 2002 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
Be sure to check in Moogal's "FireSide Log" column
for information about Kaltica's new email address,
and for all the details of our new IMP's league,
starting up soon!
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at Moocake@aol.com.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
Please remember that the Bridgementor-L mail list
is available for discussions of bridge topics,
and, more importantly, as a forum in which you can
find immediate answers to your bridge questions.
To join, go to www.bridgementor.com and click on the
link for the discussion list.
OKbridge also offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
You can now find our "FireSide Chat" posted at two
different websites.
You can go to Okbridge's website:
http://www.okbridge.com/membersclub/periodicals/fireside/
Or find it at Colin's FireSide web site:
http://www.members.shaw.ca/firesiders/thechat.htm
FireSide also provides us with a "hand of the week"
feature. Go to our Hand of the Week site:
http://www.members.shaw.ca/firesiders/fireside.htm
to check out the fun.
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MONDAY 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MONDAY 5:30 P.M. BRIDGBOY
TUESDAY 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUESDAY 8:00 P.M. CAPTAIN
WEDNESDAY 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WEDNESDAY 5:30 P.M. PAMA
THURSDAY 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THURSDAY 5:30 P.M. RAIJA AND POMO
FRIDAY 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRIDAY 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
SATURDAY 11:00 A.M. WINTAKA/CAPTAIN
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@aol.com, or
Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2002 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
This and That
Hi everybody :-) Happy Spring!
I'll never get tired of watching the world around me waking up
from a long, cold, gray winter season. The trees are budding,
many in full bloom already. The grass is greening up, birds are
singing and carrying on... my allergies are in full bloom too!
Actually, they're not that bad, for a Michigander. I love the
smell and feel of spring in Michigan.
My favorite part is when it gets warm enough for Frank to get the
bike out and we can go riding again. I can't wait!
Spring always makes me feel good about life again -- I tend to
sit back and take stock of where I'm at in the spring. I've
often thought we make our new year's resolutions at the wrong
time of the year -- we should do that in the spring, while
everything else around us is renewing itself too.
I've been working at a temporary job for the past couple of
months. Now that the time is coming when I'll be finishing up
there, I realize how much I missed my "life"! I hated having to
juggle things to 'fit in' my time online and at OKb. I missed
being at the FireSide sessions, yakking with you all there. I
feel like it's been a lot longer than just a couple of months
sometimes -- I'll be glad to be able to relax and get back on a
calmer schedule again.
I want to thank everyone for being so wonderful about helping out
while I worked. The Commentators were great about adapting to
substitute table managers, the table managers were great about
rallying round to help me out, and you all were wonderful about
being patient and understanding with all the changes, and the
confusion that may have been present because of the changes.
We also have two new table managers working the FireSide
sessions, and a third patiently waiting for me to find some time
to walk her through the routine and get her started. Please join
me in welcoming DavidRG, Merrygal, and Queenhrt to our table
managers group. We are very happy to know they are there to help
us out.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who
support the FireSide sessions financially. We couldn't do any
of this without you. It's your loyalty and support that keeps
the FireSide Bidding Practice strong and healthy.
For those of you who may not know the FireSide history, FireSide
is NOT a service supplied by OKbridge. FireSide is a group of
independent mentors and teachers who love the game, and enjoy
working with you to share some of their experience and knowledge
with you, and maybe help you to enjoy the game more, too. There
is no set cost to attend the FireSide sessions -- we hope you
will find them beneficial, and choose to support us as you see
fit and can afford. We do need your help to keep these sessions
going though. Please consider sending a consistent monthly or
quarterly amount to help keep these sessions going.
Lastly -- my "spring" resolution. As my way of showing how much
I appreciate your support, for every check I receive from you, or
every check or charge that Colin tells me about, I'll "match"
that each month -- well, sorta :-) I'll send FireSide $1.00
for every time we hear from one of you. Don't make me look
cheap, ok? :-)
Oh, one last 'lastly' -- All of our table managers and helpers
are working on a totally voluntary basis, and many of them are
supporting the sessions financially also. Please let them know
how special we all think they are :-)
See you all soon, at FireSide! Please take care
Sara
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks, Tuna, for this giggle :-)
WHAT'S AMORE?
When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That's amore.
When an eel bites your hand
And that's not what you planned
That's a moray.
When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four
That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife
She gets stabbed with a knife
That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight
Used a sword in a fight
That's Samurai.
=============================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
The Language of Bridge
Bidding is a language. Like any other form of communication,
the same word can have different meanings depending on the
situation. Take, for example, "Double". Is it a take out double,
a penalty double, a lead directing double, a negative double,
a responsive double, a negative slam double, or one of many
others? All we have to do is recognize which applies when,
because all bids are said exactly the same way, "double"!
There is another common bid that can have many different
meanings: the cue bid. A cue bid of the opponent's suit can
have various meanings, depending on when it is made. Let us
look at three examples with the same hand.
S AQ54
H KQ72
D J4
C 974
1) 1C-X-P-?
Partner doubles the opening bid of 1C
2) 1C-1S-P-?
Partner overcalls the opening bid of 1C with 1S
3) 1S-2C-?
Partner opens 1S
In each instance partner has shown a good hand with spades,
either directly or by inference (the take out double).
What should we bid with each hand? Without too much mystery,
a club cue bid is the correct call to each problem, but the
message delivered is different in each example auction.
In hand (1) we like both majors and need partner to bid his
or her longer one, in case partner has doubled with 4-3 in
the majors. We do not want to misguess which major to play in.
In hand (2) we are responding to an overcall, so we can cue
bid to show a power raise based on high cards rather than
distribution. We are showing a limit raise or better in the
spade suit. If partner signs off, we can rethink bidding game.
In hand (3) our partner, the opener, has shown us the suit we
will play in: spades. Now we have to get the message across
that we have a limit raise or better. Again, the cue bid will
say that, so if partner is interested in slam we have begun
to express our hand early enough to allow our side to explore
more effectively.
All three auctions are different, but the answer is the same:
use the cue bid to describe our hand to partner. In order
to get to the right place we have to learn the proper use of
the language of bridge. There are only 15 words but that is
more than enough, as long as we paint the correct picture of
our hand within the context of the auction.
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:30 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for this giggle:
A Woman's Random Thoughts
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it
will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living
room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your
telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize
that you had set it free ... you either married it or gave
birth to it.
Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in
an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight
shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't
know what you're doing, someone else always does.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
consciousness.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and
it shrinks two sizes!
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine
isn't all that communicative, but I heard from it the other
day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six
o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body
said, "Listen fatty ... do it and die."
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress
are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.
Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.
=====================================================
GUIDO'S REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF
===============================
Why I Play Non-Standard Systems
Those of you who have no lives occasionally kibitz the Ian-
Guido show. Considering the fact (that on my better days)
I'm at best dog meat as a bridge player, one must assume
there are is some reason why so many folks choose to waste
time Specing us. There are several possible reasons
including:
1) Good pari-mutuel action trying to guess the final
contract we will reach. This is very fair as the cards we
hold often (always?) have no influence on the destination.
I assume that either Believer or DavidRG are running the
pool and skimming 15%.
2) That "feel good" feeling that others players (us guys)
can often get to stranger contracts than you do.
3) Cryptanalysis practice in attempting to decipher my
interesting typing and spelling.
4) A love of bad puns (mostly Ian's fault).
5) A desire to see non-standard bidding systems in action.
Just in case your reason is (or you pretend it is) the last
item on the list, you might be interested in WHY I play this
stuff rather than SAYC or something smelling like OKBridge
2/1. The reasons include (in no particular order):
History/Tradition
The three systems we most often play are of major historical
significance. Roman Club won more World Championships than
any other system. Blue Team Club was used by what many
consider the two best partnerships ever (Garozzo-Forquet and
Wolff-Hamman) and is currently used by Hamman-Soloway. Acol
is still used extensively in England (less so, methinks, in
other parts of the U.K), Netherlands, Switzerland and the
South Pacific. All three were innovative and added
considerably to the theory of bidding.
Being somewhat of a history freak, I enjoy doing my part to
keep these systems alive (if not well) in North America.
I'm a Bad Player.
Let's assume that System A is just as good as System B, but
that 99% of players use System A. Which system would you
rather play? The answer is: the better you are compared to
your opponents, the greater the advantage of playing System
A. (The opposite is true, of course, which is the key point
here.) This is true in both Team Play (a k a Bridge) and
Match Points (a k a something-more-or- less-resembling-
bridge-kinda-sorta).
Playing Match Points, there is an additional issue.
Assuming you are trying to win the event, you need a score
significantly greater than average. 53.5% isn't any better
than 12.5% as neither wins or even places in the event.
If System A makes South the declarer on all hands, and
System B makes North the declarer on all hands (this is a
simplifying assumption, folks, don't get all excited), you
are more likely to win the event playing System B, as your
score will deviate from the norm due to random factors of
who is on lead, etc. This same deviation also means that
System B will result is more very low scores, but in Match
Points this makes no difference.
So, therefore, ergo, it has been proven: If you want to win
against better players, you want to reach different (perhaps
as good) contracts, or play from the other side of table, or
set the opponents different problems. Non-standard systems
accomplish these goals.
System Makes Remarkably Little Difference
Almost any system will get you to the same or equivalent
contract as most other systems on most hands. As striking
proof of this, I offer Ian's Bludgeon system as prime
evidence. Bludgeon is the world's simplest system: The only
forcing bids when your side opens the auction are Stayman,
and Blackwood. Nothing else is forcing (1H-2C; 1C-1S;
1D-2S;3H, etc. are all non-forcing). Opening (or
responding) at the two level shows a stronger hand than
opening at the 1 level; opening (or responding) at the 3
level shows a better hand than opening at the 2 level. 1NT
is 11-14; opening 2NT shows a stronger hand: 15-17, and
opening 3NT shows balanced monster (defined as more than
18). One doesn't investigate, one blasts and awaits dummy
with anticipation. It is remarkable how often the same
contract is reached using this (non) system as would be
reached playing SAYC or Roman Club or most anything else.
This means that playing a system with which you are
comfortable is more important than playing the "best"
system. It also means that playing a system which requires
extra effort on your opponents' part is a Good Thing.
It Is Fun
Well, it is for me. I used to play relay systems (on strong
auctions one player asks questions without describing his
hand while his partner bids artificially describing his
hand. The asker places the contract when he has enough
information). I think this is the best type of system, by
the way, but I don't play them any more (Ian would really
like to do so, by the way) because I do not really enjoy
them. On the other hand, I find it enjoyable to play
different systems, each of which offers different inferences
(positive and negative).
******************************
You can email Guido at: paulfriedman@attbi.com
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks again to Tuna for this giggle:
*Johnny's Dust*
After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk
to the minister right away. They agree, and the pastor
greets the family.
"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our
bodies came from the dust."
"That's right, Johnny, I did," he says.
"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to
dust."
"Yes, I'm glad you were listening," the pastor replies. "Why
do you ask?"
"Well you better come over to our house and look around
because there's all sorts of folks comin' and goin'!"
===============================================
POMO'S POINTERS
================
LISTEN TO THE BIDDING
During any auction, whether you are an active participant or
not, you should be paying close attention to all of the
available information that is being offered. Partner may be
trying to tell you some facts regarding his hand, or the
opponents are relating point count and suit information to
each other. Any information you glean from the bidding will
help you to bid more accurately, or be an outstanding
defender... not to mention declarer.
Bidding: When partner shows his (approximate) point count
and support, or lack of support for your suit(s)...you are
often able to place the contract at the proper level and
find any suit fit that may exist. If you don't listen to
the messages from partner, you'll never know where to play
the hand. You'll bid either too high or not enough to get
the game (or slam) bonuses that may be available. Remember
your own bids! Partner is reacting to each word and thinks
that every bid you make further describes your holdings. If
you've shown a strong hand with a specific point count - let
partner push toward a slam when appropriate. If partner
shows a highly distributional hand look closely at your
holdings in his suits, and visualize how your "fitting"
honors may help fill in the holes of those long suits.
Suppose partner has shown a fairly strong hand with two five
card (or longer) suits and you have two fitting honors -
imagine that those honors are probably solidifying those
suits and ten easy tricks should be there for the taking.
Declarer Play: If the opponents have bid during the
auction, we have knowledge of where some (sometimes all) of
the outstanding high cards are located. You may even find
that counting their distribution becomes relatively easy,
especially after one opponent shows a long suit or two five
carders. Even the passes will give you clues as to where
the missing honors are (or are not). For example, if a
passed hand shows up with 10-11 points and you need to
locate a King... guess where it is! Of course, in the other
hand. It's practically like peeking! But it takes practice
and concentration....lots of both.
Defending: At times, they do all (or most) of the bidding
and you end up defending. As a defender, you'll have to do
many important things. First - maybe find an opening lead.
Second - signal partner as to your good (or bad) holdings.
Interpret partner's signals to discover where your side may
win some tricks. Put together all of the available clues
from their bidding and partner's leads and signals to
uncover what the hidden hand (declarer) holds. Counting
declarer's points (remember the auction) is not as difficult
as you think. You should have some idea of the possible
total high card value of declarer. Think about it during
the bidding and early play. To simply sit by and not pay
attention will result in thoughtless defensive plays - maybe
enough to allow a hopeless contract to come home.
All of this sounds logical enough, but we all suffer from
periods of laziness or temporary boredom (holding a series
of poor hands). Try to bring yourself (mentally) back to
the table and just listen for the information you require to
play well. Try walking around for a minute or so - or get a
soft drink. You will improve your bridge playing ability by
100% - GUARANTEED!
******************************
You can find Pomo and Raija doing their FireSide sessions
on Thursday evenings at 5:30 p.m. OKbridge time.
(Except the second Thursday of the month, when the Fifth
Chair's Novice/Mentor Tourney is held.)
You can email Pomo at: reisig@oco.net
======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A big thanks to Benson for this giggle:
A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell
to the outside world. When his work was finally done,
he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground.
"I'm free! I'm free!" he shouted.
"So what?" said a little girl, "I'm four."
=================================================
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING
=============================
Evaluation
Let's talk a bit on evaluating shortness. Do you add 2
points for a doubleton, 3 for a singleton, an extra point
for 6-carder (or maybe two)? Where is my Goren book!
You pick up this hand, vulnerable:
S KJxxxx
H Void
D KJTxx
C Kx
Wow, you love this hand!
This is what you are thinking:
"Maybe not a lot of points, but 11 plus 3 for the
singleton, plus another point for the doubleton, plus
another point for the 6-card suit. Sixteen that I see. Plus
remember the saying "6-5 Come alive" YES!! I can smell a
slam already cooking!! 620 probable, but maybe a 21 point
slam -- 1430!! I do have a great nose for sniffing out
slams!! Partner only needs Qxxx xxxxx Ax Ax and slam is
virtually a lay-down!!"
You open 1S; not a 2C opening, but a beauty!! Bidding
proceeds:
You LHO Pard RHO
1S 1NT 2H 3C
P P 3H X
P P P
Now you are thinking :
"Why did I ever even open this hand??!! What was I
thinking?? Lucky if we get a trick!! It is going to be a
blood bath!! Has pard not heard me pass the second time??
Pard is a bidding maniac!! Does pard think I have a nice
hand here? I wish I had gone to Bingo!"
What has happened here is those short suits have taken a
turn for the worse. They are now a liability and not an
asset.
All this is "hand evaluation". Bridge players are always re-
evaluating their hands. So, what is my advice??
Add a bit extra for shortness, but not too much when opening
a hand. Evaluate your short suits with some patience -- the
value is always under constant re-appraisal.
Here are some factors in evaluating your shortness power in
suit contracts as the auction progresses -- that is to say
you are expecting to be playing in a suit contract:
Some shortness-positive factors:
1. A fit has been found with pard, either pard's suit or
your suit.
2. Opponents have bid this suit.
3. Pard has no values in this suit.
4. Opponents have doubled this suit for a lead
(a void here gains considerable value but a
doubleton would depreciate hand for slam prospects).
Some shortness-negative factors:
1. This is pard's primary suit.
2. LHO is also short in this suit
(I will be over-ruffed).
3. I have singleton K or Q or KQ or Qx or
Jx or QJ or KJ. They are losing value as high
card power.
4. Opponents have both bid the suit
and you now suspect pard has already added some value for
shortness in the suit, or possibly partner has bragged
about shortness by use of a "splinter" bid. You cannot
both have value in shortness in same suit.
*************************
You will find Captain (Andy Anderson) doing his FireSide
sessions on Tuesday evenings, at 8:00 P.M. OKbridge time,
and every other Saturday at 11:00 A.M.
Captain is a full time instructor on OKbridge, offering
group or individual lessons for anyone ranging from novice
to advanced players.
Email Andy for more information - andy@imagewireless.ca
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Gail37 for these giggles:
Doggie Prayers
Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom
smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?
Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the
jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and
the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I
know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be
easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have
on-ramps?
Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
shake hands to get in?
Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,
hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I
have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but
all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I
have to apologize?
Dear God, Is it true that dogs are not allowed in
restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to
order? Or is it the carpets thing, again?
==================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
==================
Hi All
I hope everyone has been only *half* as busy as I have
this month. Between going to tournaments, doing Taxes,
keeping a Wife happy on her birthday, and squeezing in
a few FireSide sessions, I'll be lucky to get this quick
note done [It really does count as an article, Sara!]
I want to tell everyone out there, no matter what your
level of play -- be it Expert, Novice, or somewhere
in-between -- the most important person out there
playing is your partner!
Always remember that. Bridge is an awful game to play
by yourself -- make sure you won't have that problem!
While we always have a good time at FireSide, I think
it can't hurt to tell you folks, one and all, while we
are practicing bidding we are also practicing a good
approach to the game. A happy partner plays way better
than a mad, upset, or otherwise distracted partner.
So a part of optimizing our bridge game is managing
partner, making sure they are calm, focused, and in
general a happy partner! That is the partner who will
give us the best results!
So till next month, Happy Bridging all!
(at least if we want good results!)
Dann POOKA Kramer
*******************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m.
OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: Dann-Kramer@shaw.ca
===================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this giggle:
This is for all of you parents out there ... Never
underestimate the intelligence of a mother...
Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the
course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep
noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.
Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship
between Brian and his roommate, Stephanie, and this had only
made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two
react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more
between Brian and his roommate, Stephanie, than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what
you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are
just roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever
since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find
the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took
it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send
her an email just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying that
you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not
saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you were here
for dinner. Love, Brian"
Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother
that read:
"Dear son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with
Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with
Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in
her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom"
================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
======================
Alert! Alert! Colin has a new email address:
kaltica@mts.net
If you sent anything to him within the last few days and
have not received a reply, please resend it to this address.
*******************************************************
OKB Tourney News
================
Thu Apr 4 11:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 baybars/lharvey 2.17 25
Sun Apr 21 09:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 baybars/lharvey 4.59 12
Good news is that we are seeing Izzo (BAYBARS) back at
Fireside, but the bad news is that he is beating up on us
way too often now! :) Congrats to Izzo and his partner
Locke!
Mon Apr 8 11:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 ecofin/jccasper 64.98 26
Sat Apr 6 11:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 ecofin/jccasper 65.13 23
Sat Apr 20 11:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 ecofin/RF-Leach 64.08 25
Fine performances for Dale (ECOFIN) and his partners! And we
are absolutely *delighted* to have Dale writing for us
again. Be sure to check out Dale's "Forward to the Basics"
below!
Sat Apr 6 10:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 coop1/pamela 4.80 12
Bill (WINTAKA) is VERY proud of his student, Pamela!
Congrats to Pam and Coop1!
Tue Apr 9 16:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/Moogal 2.20 23
Finally teaching that boy a few things.:))
Sun Apr 14 10:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 raija/Ring 2.19 26
Raija was absolutely delighted at the performance of her
student at Charlene's very first tourney! Raija adds that
not only is Charlene a talented student, she is the sweetest
person she has ever met! Well done to you both!
Wed Apr 17 21:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 dcorn/tuna 66.43 10
Now this is a *fishy* result:))) Congrats to Tuna and David!
Thanks also to David for his participation in Fireside with
Pam (PAMA) and subbing for her. Reviews were great and we
hope he will come take part again!
**********************************************************
Novice Mentor Tourney
Congrats to David, who shouldered the burden of
carrying Pomo to a win in the April 5th Chair
Novice Mentor Tourney! :)) Well done, friends!
Our other top finishers:
Thu Apr 11 18:00 2002
Rank Team Score
1 DavidRG/pomo 64.42
2 jdonn/nancor 63.80
3 janete/stella 59.72
4 gandalf/jundith 59.66
5 charley/Philr 59.08
6 Patricia/sammi 58.34
7 Brism/deeb1232 56.58
8 sha/wandaw 55.55
9 Dreamy/elvee 53.91
10 andyH/hester 53.70
11 AndyEdw/ricjo 52.88
12 icebud/YBBWH 50.70
13 BEijl1/boberika 50.03
14 lynkos/trev 50.00
Mentors and novices, join us this month on the 9th!
Email me at moocake@aol.com or Sandra (SANDREE) at
sandree@attbi.com if you would like to find a partner
ahead of time. We'll do our best to match you up!
I promise you a fun evening. :)
**********************************************************
Mentor Cup Team Game:
April 14: Team BELIEVER: Believer, Makaha, Dloye & Sam143
April 28: Team PAMA: PamA, Luc, knife and GroovyB
Well done to all of you and to our other top finishers --
see who they are on our web page at:
www.escape.ca/~cpw/mtc.htm
NOTE: There will be NO Mentor Cup game on May 12, and the
schedule will be pushed one week: next game May 19, and
every two weeks thereafter. Couldn't convince my daughter
that Mentor Cup was more important than attending her college
graduation! :)))
Email me at Moocake@aol.com to get on the reminder list for
these games. All welcome!
************************************************************
Get well wishes from all of us at Fireside to Bob (BOBOWEN)
who recently had bypass surgery. He is back at OKB,
speccing and socializing while he recuperates, and we look
forward to having him feel well enough to TM again very
soon! We miss your special touch, Bob, and hope the
recovery is speedy!
************************************************************
Bob (BRIDGBOY) had a good excuse for missing a few sessions
-- he headed off to Paris to visit his daughter:
I'm convinced if you're traveling abroad (or any place) you
should take along someone like Margaret (my wife). She is
the most organized person I know. Suffice it to say she
packed my suitcase anticipating everything from a spring
snow storm to monsoon rain. It amazes me that it all fit in
one bag with room to spare.
Our backpack is a work of art. With her eyes closed she can
find passports, airline tickets, cameras, film, Band-Aids
and bubblegum in less time than it takes for me to ask for
them. If we're ever on a deserted island -- me, Margaret and
the backpack -- there is no doubt in my mind that she has
enough in that case to sustain us.
If you think all of this was leading up to an extended stay
in Africa, you were wrong. We were headed to Paris to visit
with my daughter, Shelley, who is living and working there.
My entourage was certainly feminine --there was Margaret, my
mother and my mother's dear friend, Laura. They had all been
to Paris before so I was the neophyte. They had a lot to
show me and in only ten days, but I was ready.
Shelley rented an apartment for us on Rue Monge. I only
mention the name of the street because it was a welcome
sight to see that name whenever we were a little
disoriented. As the typical male navigator I was never lost,
but don't hazard a guess on how many times Margaret asked me
if I knew where we were.
These women are walkers, who feel the only way to truly
enjoy a city like Paris is to walk it. And that we did! With
different agendas every day we split up. Margaret and I
walked to Notre Dame, the Louvre and the Tuileries. None of
which I should mention is close to our apartment! My mom and
Laura were traipsing around Paris looking for some cemetery
where Jim Morrison is buried. Did I mention that Mom is
seventy-five and Laura is seventy-nine? Okay, Jim Morrison
wasn't the only grave they wanted to visit.
When Shelley joined us on the weekend, she walked us to the
Pantheon and Luxenborg Gardens before she took pity on her
dad and let us take the Metro to the Arc du Triomphe and the
Champs-Elysees. After a brief respite at Angelina's for hot
chocolate, it was off to Montmartre and Sacre-Coeur. God
bless the person who built the funicular railway. Margaret,
Shelley, my Mom and Laura walked the steps to the church. As
for me, I enjoyed the view from the bottom.
Before the trip was over I had been to the Pompidou Centre,
the Jardins du Plante, the Eiffel Tower, Giverny and
Versailles. We even managed to squeeze in a boat ride down
the Seine. There were times when I had to remind myself that
I was actually here and these weren't pictures in a
magazine, but the real thing. They are that impressive.
Up to this point I haven't mentioned food. Where to start!
Thai, Basque, Italian and of course French. Each place, each
mouthful, was a little different and a little better than
the one before, but the crepes were my favorite. I would
walk the hill from our apartment to get one for lunch and I
never once complained about the walk. Goes to show you what
a man will do for what he likes.
Each night after a day of sightseeing and an evening of
eating we would settle in to our apartment. I would try to
find a cozy corner to catch up on my reading when I would
hear the sound of laughter coming from the living room. It
was Margaret, Mom and Laura. They would be laughing so hard
that Margaret would be crying. When I would inquire as to
what was so funny, they would just shrug their shoulders and
say "it's a girl thing." Feeling left out, I sneaked into the
living room one night and found Mom and Laura teaching
Margaret their stretching exercises. Ah, what I would have
done for the camera at that moment, but I would have had to
ask Margaret where it was.
April in Paris (or at any other time) was all I could have
wanted. I found myself holding Margaret's hand more often
and sneaking kisses regardless of where we were. There were
times when I would look across the room or the table and I
would marvel at the three generations of the women I love --
so different, so alike. I guess I didn't notice it before.
There are a lot of reasons why you should go to Paris. Mine
is that it is good for your soul.
Thanks Bob, for this delightful report. You have us all
ready to hop on a plane and go!
************************************************************
Seen on a card:
"Spoiled by OKbridge Asked OKB friend to play at dup club,
he said, "what for??!!"
To which most of us just add, Amen!
************************************************************
One of the benefits of playing frequent tourneys on OKB is
making lots of wonderful 'tourney friends'. One of my
favorites is Albert (ALBERTB) and I want to take this
opportunity to wish him a happy EIGHTY-SEVENTH birthday! He
still is as sharp and active as ever -- continues to go to
tournaments; is an active lobbyist for the Veterans of WWII;
plays the organ for senior citizens groups; and is an active
member of the Toastmaster's Club. And above all, he is a
true gentleman!
Happy birthday, Al. :))
************************************************************
Be sure to wish a Happy Anniversary to Colin and Denise on
May 15! It's their 20th!! And, Denise, not to worry, I made
sure to let Colin know that the traditional gift bridge
players give their wives for the 20th is DIAMONDS. :))
************************************************************
Speaking of weddings, Janie (BCCPAVE) and Laurie (BAGEL27)
had a good excuse for leaving me roommate-less for the
Nationals in Houston in March...Janie's son Marty was
married on March 30 and Laurie's daughter Ilene on March 16!
Ilene had a picture perfect wedding to Chad Bailey on the
16th, but for a few days she thought she might be getting
married in her bathrobe! Panic when the dress came in the
week before the wedding -- the wrong dress! A lawyer, Ilene
knew how to handle this one. :)) Surprisingly, the
manufacturer immediately found the right one, express mailed
it out, and declined to take any further payment.:)) (And
they threw in the shoes for good measure!)
The other great story about this match involves her dog, who
is 7 years old. His name is Bailey, so now he is Bailey
Bailey!
Laurie adds that Ilene and Chad will be taking a
Mediterranean Cruise for their honeymoon, in June. Is
Laurie jealous? You bet!
Janie's son Marty was married on March 30 in Pinehurst, NC.
The two met at the 1999 men's US Open held in Pinehurst; the
meeting was set up by Janie, so Janie has no reason to
lament the choice of bride! (And is very happy with the
choice, by the way). Here is her description of the wedding:
The bride and groom chose to have an outdoor wedding on the
beautiful grounds of a local house. Weather watching became
the sport of the week leading up to the wedding. One day it
was forecast to be clear until Sunday, then as Thursday
came, showers were in the forecast for Saturday! We awoke
Saturday to overcast skies, making all of us very nervous.
As the guests were being seated, a slight sprinkle started!
Oh the horror of it! But just as the music started for the
processional to begin, it stopped raining, and by the time
the vows were spoken, the sun peeked out! Everything went
well from there until time for the couple to leave. I had
arranged for a horse and carriage ride, and the carriage was
nowhere in sight. Unknown to us, the gentleman had picked a
different spot to unload so as not to be a spectacle during
the ceremony. Then just as dusk began falling on the
grounds, the carriage appeared, driving down the long
driveway, drivers in Top Hats, two gorgeous black horses and
a white carriage with the "Just Married" sign on the back.
It was such a welcome sight, with the azaleas blooming and
the tall long leaf pines lining the driveway, and scattered
dogwoods just beginning to burst into bloom. The couple
rode off into the sunset, as the story goes, to live happily
ever after.
Take a look at the beautiful bride and groom and family, at
http://www.members.shaw.ca/firesiders/friends.htm
Quite a coincidence that we three roommates were all Mother-
of-the-Bride/Groom within five months of each other! Now,
which of us will be Grandma first??:))
***********************************************************
Gatlinburg was good to our friends Jim (JBOT) and Judy (JKH).
They played for four days and won 45+ points, their best
tournament ever! They were runner up in a KO and won their
section twice in Board-A-Match, coming in second both times
overall! They saw Bonnie (TARA) several times, who also
reports having a great time, winning lots of red.
Judy adds that Gatlinburg is such a fun Regional! A
great meeting place for friends and the bridge is non-stop
from 9:00 AM to 3:00 AM.
Well done to our friends, Jim, Judy and Bonnie.:))
***********************************************************
Richard Pavlicek's new bidding poll is ready for
us to try our luck (skill!):
The Netherland Showdown
http://www.rpbridge.net/7w81.htm
The hands are from a past tournament and, as a side
challenge, participants are invited to guess when and
where it was held from the clues on the page.
I hope you tried his April play contest "Keep the Ship
Afloat". If not try it as a quiz, or check out your
score or the analysis, at the URL's below. (All
available May 3)
Quiz: http://www.rpbridge.net/7v73.htm
Scores: http://www.rpbridge.net/7v79.htm
Analyses: http://www.rpbridge.net/7v80.htm
Now just for fun, a much easier quiz from Richard's web
pages:
The Bridge Chain by Richard Pavlicek
Starting with the word “bridge” form nine six-letter
words by changing just one letter in the current word
and rearranging the letters. Finally, circle the nine
new letters added and rearrange them to form the phrase
suggested by the final clue.
BRIDGE
1. _ _ _ _ _ _ One who seldom passes
2. _ _ _ _ _ _ Repeats the same suit
3. _ _ _ _ _ _ Supported partner’s suit
4. _ _ _ _ _ _ Face your hand, as to claim
5. _ _ _ _ _ _ The master suit
6. _ _ _ _ _ _ One who seldom bids
7. _ _ _ _ _ _ Waits after a skip bid
8. _ _ _ _ _ _ Bridge hand patterns
9. _ _ _ _ _ _ Leads a winning card
What bridge duffers do: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Answer at the end of my column!
***********************************************************
Three of our Canadian commentators moseyed off to Moose
Jaw to try their luck at a tournament. Ok, I admit it,
I had to look up Moose Jaw! They weren't teasing
me: www.citymoosejaw.com
Bill (WINTAKA), Andy (CAPTAIN) and Dann (POOKA) all
came home winners!
Bill had his best tournament ever, pocketing 85 master
points. He won three KOs and a Swiss, and was third
in another Swiss. Needless to say, his client was
delighted!
Andy also was not disappointed, winning the 0-3000 on
Sunday and also winning a Swissie. He is still lamenting
the measly two IMPs he needed to win an open, coming in
second instead. But he also points out, grinning, that
the event Billy lost was against his team! :)
Dann also raked in about 50 master points, barely missing a
win by a few points each time. He came in second in Swiss
teams and KOs, and was fourth in Flight A pairs. He
had a wonderful time, keeping his clients happy enough
to cover a few expenses, and best of all, in his opinion,
discovered a new drink -- The Moose Jaw Paralyzer.
I was afraid to ask, but couldn't control myself. Turns
out a regular Paralyzer is Coke, Kahlua and Tequila --
in Moose Jaw they throw in a shot of pear liquor, topped
with some milk!
Well done, friends, you made us all proud!
********************************************************
Our travel editor, Gail (GAIL37), doesn't need much of a
nudge to take to the road, and the chance to meet "her"
commentator was more than enough, even though it meant
flying from Utah to NYC!
*************
On Friday, April 26, I went into New York City to meet
my commentator, Bernard (BLUEBEE), who was on his very
first trip to the US. Since I had to take the Long
Island RR into the city, we arranged to meet at the New
Yorker Hotel, which is very close to Penn Station.
Limping along on my cane, I managed to get to the
arranged spot, finding Bernard exactly where he said
he'd be. Not a problem in the world deciding who he was,
he looks just like his picture on OKB. "What do you
fancy?" he asked. You know those Britons really talk
funny! LOL. Anyhow, we did lunch at the coffee shop in
the hotel, where we talked about not playing bridge for
a week, nor seeing a computer, a real Holiday! He
ordered a 12 oz. sirloin steak sandwich with garlic.
(he says American beef is ever so much better than what
you can get in England, as is the orange juice!) He then
proceeded to scrape the minced garlic off the roll, so
he wouldn't offend Laura (LBrown)when they played bridge
that night.
He pretended to be a bit concerned about getting to the
meeting place with Laura via the train, fully expecting
to be mugged along the way. What a dry wit he has! We
parted, planning a get together w/ LB the next evening.
"If I don't call, you'll know I was mugged and am no
longer among the living," he said as we hugged goodbye.
The next evening, we three did meet again in the City
and had dinner at the Stage Deli. We had pastrami and
brisket sandwiches....neither Bernard nor I had ever seen
such huge things. We talked about what he had done in
the city while he was here. What he had *not*
accomplished was a trip to the top of the Empire State
Building, nor had he had any New York pizza! Both were
to be done the next day before he caught his flight home.
We parted with hugs and kisses (typical of OKB'ers)and
hopes of seeing each other soon. He loved NYC, so it
may happen!
'Til next time -- Gail
*************************************************************
As Sara mentioned, spring has sprung, which means we are
already sweating down here in Florida. I had a busy month,
traveling to NY to visit my older daughter for the first
time since she moved there last fall. 9/11 and then her
wedding postponed our trip...then I wanted to wait until
it was warmer -- OK I am a spoiled Floridian :) -- so
I was punished by being there for the only cold weekend
in a mild winter, flurries in April! On another weekend
Bob dragged me up to Pennsylvania for the spring football
scrimmage at Penn State (in the rain, of course!) --
would you believe they get 60,000 crazy people to watch
them play each other?? "Go State! Beat State!" :))
So that is it for this month....stay well, my friends,
and read Sara's column again. We need your support.
Hugs....Janice
******************************************************
Answer to Richard Pavlicek's Bridge Chain:
Bidder, Rebids, Raised, Spread, Spades, Passer,
Pauses, Shapes, Cashes, “Push cards”
******************************************************
Fireside IMPs League
====================
The Fireside Group will be commencing their Amateur
Teams Championship IMPs league in May, 2002. These will
be divided into two Divisions: the Fireside International
Teams ("FIT") with games every Wednesday at 8:00 A.M.
PST and the Global Amateur IMPs League ("GAIL") with
games scheduled at 5:00 P.M. PST every Tuesday.
The format will be a round robin followed by knockout
finals. Division winners will meet in a championship round,
with trophies going to both teams. Each round will be
directed by a Fireside Commentator. Analysis of interesting
hands will be emailed to all the players after each game.
To ensure parity, no team's total IMP Lehman's may exceed
200. Unlimited substitutions are permitted as long as the
four players' IMP Lehmans never exceed the 200 mark.
The entry fee is $24.00 (i.e. $6.00 per player if a
4-player team) U.S. per team per game. All proceeds go to
the Fireside Fund to further the cause of online bridge
teaching.
You can join in on the fun just by emailing Sara
"Believer" Stobbe at: sarastobbe@aol.com and
registering as a player, a pair, a captain or, if
you have 4+ players, a team.
The deadline for original entries will be May 15th, 2002.
Come on and join in the fun!
http://www.members.shaw.ca/firesiders/teams.htm
*****************************************************
MENTORING SESSIONS
==================
Some of our commentators are offering group mentoring
sessions. This is an easy, fun, and very affordable
way to get both bidding and play instruction with your
partner, friends, or as a single participant. Email
the commentator if you want information on joining
one of the established groups with spots available,
or to discuss a session at your convenience.
Kibitzers are welcome at most sessions.
Watch this spot for future sessions from our other
commentators also!
********************
KALTICA
Colin is currently holding sessions on Mondays, Tuesdays,
Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Email him for more information.
You can contact Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
********************
POOKA
Was anybody's favorite dwarf Bashful? If so...Pooka offers
a "private" group mentoring session, in a hidden table
format, for those who would prefer a closed setting for
their mentoring sessions. Contact Dann at:
dann-kramer@shaw.ca for more information.
*********************************************************
FIRESIDE MEMORIAL FUND
======================
The next time you need to make a donation in honor of,
or in memory of, a friend or loved one, consider
Fireside! We'll notify the recipient of your donation
(minus the amount of course) and note your kind thoughts
here, in my column.
Send it to Sara (BELIEVER) or Colin (KALTICA) just as with
your regular donations, but be sure to include an email
address for the recipient, and, if the honoree is an OKB
member, their username. Also, please note if you do NOT
want it publicized here. Would appreciate also that you
email me the same info that you put in your note to Colin
or Sara.
******************************************************
May Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, May 9, 6:00 P.M. A low-key introduction
to the tourney experience, sponsored by Fifth Chair...
see www.fifthchair.org for more info on this and
their other services, including getting a mentor.
MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sunday, 5:00 P.M. May 19.
See www.escape.ca/~cpw/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at moocake@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.escape.ca/~cpw/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by e-mailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@aol.com
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Just when you thought you knew all you wanted to...
more trivia! Thanks, anon. :-)
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray
blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're
there.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute
for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching
television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years
of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache
A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's
first flight.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1
olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in
the morning.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called
aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro,
Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the
days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were
stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up
straight staircases.
================================================
BOB'S BITS
==========
Thanks again to Bob McPhee (McPhee) for a great article.
Bob and his partner, Allan Graves, have a new class coming
up in mid-May on Defense. If it's anything like their
session on Declarer Play, you don't want to miss this one.
For more information, or to reserve a spot, email Bob at:
bobmcphee@hotmail.com
***********************
The Thoughtful Defender
This is an example of a thoughtful defender. Looking at
this collection, you have already made up your mind about
your opening bid when RHO bids 1S first:
S 8653
H AK53
D K3
C A63
Ah ha, you know it is wrong to bid, so you pass, and the
bidding proceeds as shown:
1S (P) 1NT (P)
2C (P) 2D all pass.
Partner selects the 4 of H as his opening lead, and down
comes the dummy
S KQJ97
H 87
D 108
C KQ102
This is where a wise defender takes stock. They ask
themselves questions all drawn around how they will beat
this hand. What tricks should our side hope to take? What
card should I play at trick 2? What tricks will my opponent
develop? Well, clearly they will be able to trump a H on
the table, and if our side has the Q, that is one of the
tricks we hope to take. So it looks like I should play a
trump next to try and prevent this from happening. I hold
the A of C, so even if declarer has the singleton A of S, he
has no fast entry to the table to enable him to discard
losers on S. What Trump should I lead then, low or the K?
I think the K gives our side the most chances. Partner could
have the A or the Q, and I hope it is the A, as I can
visualize 6 winners for us if that is the case. What 6
winners?
Well we hope it is 3H tricks, 2 trumps and the A of C. So
we play the K next and it holds, and we congratulate
ourselves on this nice play. As partner already knows we
have the A of H, when we lead a low trump next they can win
and return a H to my A. And this is exactly what happens,
and I get in with my A of H now. However there is still
more work to do. If we return a H now to partners hoped for
Q, what will they play next? Naturally they'll lead a C to
my A won't they? Wait, maybe not, what if he were to lead a
S instead? Therefore it must be best if I were to cash my
black A before I lead a H to partner's hoped for Q, then
they can't "guess" wrong and return a S, can they.
This was a thoughtful defense from this player. First he
made an attempt to count declarer's tricks. He understood
that even if declarer held the A of trumps and the A of S
(all because of the 4 little S he held) that they would not
be able to discard losers on the S suit as partner would
trump in. So this play was a winning play if partner held
A, or QJx of trumps, and the declarer had 3 H's without the
Q. And the nice play of taking the A of C prevented partner
from leading the wrong black suit in the end game. And your
partner did indeed hold the Q of H along with the A of
trumps.
************************
You can email Bob at: bobmcphee@hotmail.com
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this giggle:
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
Three Little Pigs go out to dinner one night. The waiter comes
and takes their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggie.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggie.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little
piggie.
The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders
for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggie.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggie.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little
piggie.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter
approached the table and asked if the piggies would like
any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggie.
"I want a root beer float," said the second piggie.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third
little piggie.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little
piggie, "but why have you only ordered water all evening?"
The third piggie says...
"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"
==============================================
IAN'S PARTNERSHIP STUFF
=======================
Basic lebensohl
This came up the other day so I thought I'd write up
something basic. Note that there are various situations
where lebensohl applies - this note covers only the case
where partner opens 1 strong Standard American NT and RHO
bids something.
Suppose partner opens 1NT and RHO bids 2D. You might want
to:
- penalize 2D
- play at the 2 level in a major
- play 2NT
- play at the 3 level in a minor
- investigate a 4-4 major fit, with or without
a diamond stopper
- make a game-invitational bid in a major or a minor
- make a forcing bid in a major or a minor
- play in 3NT with (a) diamond stopper(s)
- play in 3NT if partner has (a) diamond stopper(s).
This is quite a list of alternatives, from very weak 1-
suited hands that would like to play in their suit at the
lowest possible level, to strongish hands that want to be in
3NT if our side has the overcaller's suit stopped, to hands
that want to drive to game or investigate slam.
Playing standard methods, you can't fit everything in. For
example, say your partnership decides that 1NT-(2D)-2H will
be nonforcing, while 1NT-(2D)-3H will be a game force. This
works fine until you pick up a fair 8-count with 5 hearts.
What to do? Underbid with 2H? (underbid? never!). Overbid
with 4H? (overbid? always!).
lebensohl (I am using the capitalization that Bridge World
uses. I think this means that 'Lebensohl' is not a person's
name, but a treatment) solves this by giving up one natural
call, and using the extra sequences thus freed up to convey
more information. The natural call that we sacrifice is
2NT. The idea is that you can never tell that playing in
exactly 2NT is the right spot, so if we get a lot of clarity
in return for using it artificially, then it's a good
tradeoff.
Here's how it works. 2NT in an auction like the one we are
discussing (1NT-(2D)-?) is a 'puppet'. The 1NT opener is
compelled to bid 3C. Note that this says nothing about clubs
in either player's hand. Both 2NT and 3C are (self)alerts,
of course. You (the 2NT bidder) now take appropriate action
(I'll detail what the various actions mean in a bit).
Here's how you would treat hands with 5 hearts and various
strengths using the new toy:
weak hand: 1NT (2D) 2H
- to play. Partner should
pass.
invitational hand: 1NT (2D) 2NT! (p)
3C! (p) 3H
- invitational. Partner can
bid game with a fit and a
maximum.
strong hand: 1NT-(2D)-3H
- forcing. Raise with
support; else bid 3NT with
stopper, another suit w/o
The advantage of the artificial 2NT is clear here: it gives
'two ways' to bid 3H over the intervention - one of them
direct (1N-(2D)-3H) and the other indirect, via the
lebensohl 2NT/3C gadget.
Another frequent situation arises when we would like to use
Stayman to look for a 4-4 major fit, or play in 3NT if we
don't have one. RHO spoils this plan by intervening. Using
lebensohl, we can both look for our major fit and show
whether we have a diamond stopper. Partner should then be in
a good position to decide what the right spot is. Once
again, this works by using 2NT as an artificial call. We
can't use Stayman any more (since the overcall took away our
2C bid). We replace it by bidding the opponent's suit.
Here are the direct and indirect auctions:
direct: 1NT (2D) 3D
indirect: 1NT (2D) 2NT! (p)
3C! (p) 3D
We use one of these to mean 'Stayman with a diamond stopper'
and the other to mean 'Stayman without a diamond stopper'.
On this side of the Atlantic, most people use the direct
sequence to mean 'no stopper'. The mnemonic I use for this
is DD - 'direct denies'. Alternatively you might prefer SS
- 'slow shows'. Opener now shows his lower 4-card major if
he has one; bids 3NT if our side has at least one diamond
stopper; and bids a new suit otherwise. Responder will raise
a 4-4 fit to game; bid 3S over 3H if he has spades but not
hearts; bid 3NT over 3S with hearts but not spades (he has
already shown whether he has a diamond stopper). The only
difficulty here is what to do with no fit and no diamond
stopper - but at least you know about it ahead of time(!).
Here's the whole story:
RHO bids 2 of a suit over our 1NT
---------------------------------
- double is penalty
- 2 of a suit is natural (5+ in the suit) and weak
(to play)
- 3 of a suit is natural (5+ in the suit) and game forcing
- 3 of opponent's suit (cuebid) is Stayman and denies
a stopper in the overcalled suit (Direct Denies)
- 3NT is to play if opener has diamond stopper(s).
(Direct Denies)
- 2NT is a puppet to 3C, then:
- pass is a weak hand with clubs
- 3 of a suit below the overcalled suit is
natural (5+ in the suit) and weak (to play)
- 3 of a suit is natural (5+ in the suit) and
invitational (opener may raise with fit + max)
- 3 of overcalled suit (cuebid) is Stayman and
guarantees a stopper in the overcalled suit
(Slow Shows)
- 3NT is to play; responder guarantees diamond
stopper(s) (Slow Shows)
RHO bids 3 of a suit over our 1NT
---------------------------------
- double is negative
- 3 of a suit is natural (5+) and forcing
- 3NT is to play (usually with stoppers)
*************************
You can write Ian at: ianmwilson@earthlink.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks (we think) to Kaltica for this giggle:
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked
him if it was dead or alive." Dead." She was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the
child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went
'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
====================================================
SPECIAL TREATS
===============
We got this article from PamA, who says it was: "Written by
my friend David Better and shared with his permission"
Thanks, David! And thanks, Pam, for sending it to us!
Truly a "special treat"!
*************************
Partnership
There's a lot more to being a successful bridge player than
the ability to execute a triple axle with a double toe loop
squeeze. Take a look around you at the most successful
partnerships. Do they seem to get results in excess of
their personal abilities? Do you watch them do what seem to
be some silly things on a specific board, and still wind up
winning? Why? How do they do so much better than you when
you don't think they PLAY any better?
Great partnerships work in tandem. There are at least 2
important factors in this.
1) The ability to forget about a poor result and do their
best on the next board. This cannot ever be stressed
enough. The truly great players have this one thing in
common. One poor board, two poor boards, even three rarely
lose you events. They happen. Its part of the game.
But.... look at your own game. How many times have you and
your partner done worse than you could have on subsequent
boards because you were dwelling on the last one?
You do not need to improve your technical ability to make a
quantum leap in your bridge results by incorporating this
into your own game. There are many players who get results
in excess of their bridge ability - because they concentrate
on each and every hand, and don't give their opponents or
the field any "freebies". The ability to do this means far
more to a bridge game than any self-flagellating ecto-
squeeze.
2) The ability to look at problems from your partners point
of view. Presumably, your partner is NOT a moron. After
all, YOU chose to play with them! And presumably, they are
trying THEIR best also. So why does your partner do so many
things that lose you imps or mps?
Before you get upset at any poor result, STOP!! Think about
partner's hand, and the problem they had. Ask yourself
whether their bid was reasonable, or at least justified. An
example? Sure...
S KJ10xxx
H x
D AKx
C xxx
No one vul and they open 4H on your right. And your partner
... bid 4S. There is just too many ways for this to win.
They could be making 4H, while you make 4S or go down one or
2. You could be making a game or slam, while 4H goes down
just a few. You play the odds.
Well on this occasion it goes double and your hand is:
S x
H xxxx
D xxxx
C AKxx
Your partner goes down 4, while 4H would have gone down one.
Here's a problem that would test any partnership. 800 when
the opponents can't make their contract! Try stepping back
from the bad result and think about partner's bid. I bet
you'll find your partner doesn't do quite as many silly
things as you might have thought if you do that.
And lets go one step further. Your partner is probably
feeling pretty silly about that 800. How about making sure
THEY know you understand? Try .... "Unlucky pard, I would
have done the same thing." "Your bid seemed pretty clear, I
can't imagine passing with your hand." You can't imagine
how much better I bet the REST of your results that session
will be!
Personally, I'm not a talker at the table. I expect that my
partners KNOW I KNOW they are doing their best on a given
board, and that they are not intentionally attempting to get
us a poor result. Its part of the game.
Here's an example from OKbridge...
S xxx
H Kx
D AKxx
C Axxx
You open 1D vul against vul. 2S on your left, 3H by pard.
3S on your right. You pass, pass... and now 6D from pard.
6S on your right.
So what's going on? First of all, we KNOW pard is void in
spades. Why? Try putting together a hand for partner where
they have a spade...the best they can have is something
like:
S x
H AQJxx
D QJxxx
C KQX
6D with that would be at best a complete shot in the dark -
and there would just be no reason for the jump. So their
hand rates to be something like:
S AQxxxx
H QJxxx
D xx
C void
They could be even better and have the king of clubs. So
you bid 7.
Turns out pard's hand was:
S AQxxx
H Qxxxxx
D xx
C void
With hearts not breaking, partner can't quite make it (no
place for the 4'th club). Lose 9, instead of winning 5 for
doubling 6s and collecting 800!
Terrible board - that's a lot of imps to lose. But...
while you can discuss the best way to handle this hand, if
you STOP! and step back from it, no one really did anything
unreasonable. It just didn't work on this hand. But if
your partner (and you) keeps analyzing hands like this, and
keeps making the RIGHT bids... in the long run you'll do
just fine. As long as you STOP! and put yourselves in
position to win as a partnership!
4S? The right bid pard, unlucky. 7D? I like the way you
analyzed that pard, too bad I didn't quite have the right
hand to justify it!
Try it. I bet you'll like it.
***********************
You'll find PamA commenting at our Wednesday evening
FireSide sessions, at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
You can email Pam (PamA) at: pama11@earthlink.net and
David (DBetter) at: d.better@worldnet.att.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Obraven for this one:
Pet Names Matter!
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call
my dog "Sex".
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to
get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a
license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then
I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she
looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had
Sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite
a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog
with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my
wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every
room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't
understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said
"Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the
competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant
asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I
told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest.
He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't
understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on
television." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for
custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I
got married." The judge said "Me too." Then I told him that
after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around
town for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you
doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "I'm
looking for Sex..."
My case comes up on Friday...
=================================================
ECOFIN'S FORWARD TO THE BASICS
===============================
MPs versus IMPs
Watching an IMP game recently, I was once again reminded of
the differences between playing IMPs and match points.
To set the stage, the bidding has gone:
LHO pard RHO you
P P 1C P
1H X 2H 2S
3H P P ?
Your hand is:
S AKxx
H AJxx
D xx
C xxx
The person holding this hand bid 3S. I am sure that the
general premise is that in IMPs it pays to be an aggressive
bidder. However, even in this instance, I think a double is
clearly in order. You know your partner has minor suit
cards, because he can have at most the Q of spades, and in
all likelihood holds nothing in hearts. The double gives
you and your partner all your options. Partner can bid on
if she has a very distributional hand or can pass with some
defensive tricks. In the actual holding, 3H doubled goes set
by either 3 or 4 tricks depending on the exact defense.
The point of this example is not to criticize the bidding of
the pair that I was watching. Rather it is to suggest that
two of the basic differences between IMPs and MPs that
rarely get discussed are extremely important. The first of
these points relates to the question of whether or not to
bid again and if so what to bid. In match points, when
given a choice between bidding and doubling, it is most
generally correct to double. As noted above, this gives you
and your partner all options. To a large extent, a double
on the hand noted above is essentially a cooperative double
and tells partner to do something intelligent, and suggests
holding defensive tricks: aces, kings, trumps, etc. A bid
would tend to show a more offensive hand with little in the
way of defensive tricks. A good match point rule is to
double when in doubt, while at IMPs it is bid when in doubt
and avoid close doubles.
The second basic difference between IMPs and MPs lies with
developing a winning strategy at MPs. When playing IMPs,
you are generally rewarded for aggressive bidding and little
for playing sound defense. For example, when playing IMPs
giving up an overtrick rarely costs much. Conversely, when
playing match points, defense is every bit as important as
declarer play and bidding. Not giving up the overtrick can
be every bit as valuable as making an overtrick. Thus, I
would suggest some guidelines in developing a good defensive
strategy for match points.
First, your overcalls and preempts - especially in first and
second seat - should be sound. There is little to be gained
from preempting your partner out of the auction for no
reason. I continue to be amazed at the number of players
that preempt in first and second seats with five card suits
headed by the queen or the jack. I do not believe this is
good match point strategy, especially against a good pair.
Second, spend some time with your favorite partner talking
about defense. This should include a discussion of carding,
discards, leads, and soundness of bidding. While I have a
bias in favor of upside-down-count-and-attitude carding,
there are others that will argue for standard carding and
odd-even discards or Lavinthal discards. All have their
advantages and proponents. The point is to pick one and
learn how and when to use them. They become extremely
valuable when defending contracts.
Some have noticed that Jccasper and I have done relatively
well of late. To a large extent, I believe that this is a
result of opponents' mistakes. In particular JC and I tend
to have sound opening bids, sound overcalls and sane
preempts. All of these things make it easier to defend and
easier to know when to double versus bid. As Moogal and
several others can attest, both JC and I are very aggressive
doublers.
Spend some time with your favorite partner talking about
defense, carding, leads, bidding philosophies. I have no
doubt that Kaltica and his favorite partners have had the
same discussions. While they are more free-wheeling than JC
and I, they have discussed the same concepts.
***********************
You can email Dale at: Ecofin2@aol.com
=================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Lynkos for this one:
Why we live to be 80...
On the first day God created the cow. God said,
"You must go to the field with the farmer all day
long and suffer under the sun, have calves and
give milk to support the farmer. I will give you
a life span of sixty years,"
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want
me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years
and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God
said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and
bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will
give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me
ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said,
"Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh.
I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years?
I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll
do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat,
sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy,
enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell
you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back,
and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back.
That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep,
play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty
years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the
next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our
grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front
of the house and bark at everybody.
==================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
====================
After the Goldrush
During the nascent stages of the year, I remained huddled in
my snow hut on the fringes of the northern hinterland. My
sole activity was to try and remain warm at the charred
embers of a waning fire by rubbing my palms and wrapping
myself in a snug blanket. The chilling monotony of the
blustery winter was occasionally relieved by the arrival of
messages from more temperate climates. A couple of friends
invited me to renew my acquaintance with the civilized world.
The offer was spiced with the alluring promise of engaging
in the thrust and cut of raucous bridge play. Thus tempted,
I packed my meager belongings and mounted my dogsled. My
faithful and hardworking Siberian Huskies conveyed me in a
matter of days to my southern destination.
Okay, so perhaps I exaggerated a tad about the snow hut and
the Siberian Huskies. But it WAS a long, hard winter, and I
was eager to venture out onto the master point trail. In the
space of three short weeks, I played in the Toronto
Regional, the Canadian National Teams Zone Finals and the
Moose Jaw Regional. During that time, I actually managed to
follow suit on occasion and kept my bidding on the earthly
rather than the extraterrestrial plane. Moreover, the bridge
deities smiled on me approvingly and so I arrived home with
a bountiful harvest of gold in my duffel bag.
One of the more interesting hands from Toronto occurred
during the Compact Knockout Teams. I was playing with one
of my regular partners, Dave McLellan of Thunder Bay, and we
faced off against one of the highly regarded teams in the
final.
East (Dave)
S Qx
H 98xx
D KQJx
C Kxx
West (Bill)
S AKxx
H AKJ10
D xx
C Axx
West East
pass 1H
2C* 2D*
3D 3S
3NT* 4C
4D 4H
4NT* 6H
The auction requires some explanation. 2C was Two-Way
Drury, showing a four-card raise of 8+ points. 2D asked if
responder had a constructive or limit raise, and 3D
confirmed a limit raise with a diamond suit. 3S was a
cuebid, and now responder continued with 3NT to show only a
tepid interest in slam. A direct cuebid instead would have
been more encouraging. Cuebids followed in the minor suits
in the European style, where ANY control can be shown. With
possible black suit losers, I subsided in 4H, and now Dave
made the key bid of 4NT. Our general agreement is that a
passed hand will NOT do the key carding, especially when we
are deep into a cuebidding sequence. His 4NT therefore
promised a spade value but NOT the King as he could have
cuebid 4S if he had that card. It turned out that the Q of
spades was exactly what I needed, and I now bid the heart
slam. While 6H isn't lay down, it will make if the queen is
onside, as was the case on the actual hand.
The other key factor that allowed us to bid the slam was my
choice of opening bid. I felt the hearts were the
equivalent of a five-card suit and elected to open 1H. At
the other table, the opponents never came close on the
auction:
p (p) 1C (p)
1H (p) 4H (p)
(all pass)
The next hand was not one I actually played, but was given
to me as a bidding challenge over a mug of honey-brown ale
at a nearby sports bar. Scribbled on a napkin for me to
mull over was:
S 7
H 96
D J972
C QJ8742
You are South and the auction begins:
East South West North
1NT pass pass dbl*
pass ?
1NT was 15-17 and partner's double shows a two-suited hand
that does NOT include clubs. I tried to bid 2C over the
double anyway, but was told that would be an artificial game
try of some kind. "Nice system" I muttered sarcastically,
and then pondered the situation. It SEEMS natural to bid 2D
in case that is one of partner's suits. However, a problem
may arise if the doubler has a major two-suiter, that being
that you may get whacked in a two-level contract for a
sizeable penalty. So I bid 2H, on the following reasoning:
1) If partner has the majors I am not giving the opponents
the chance to get into a doubling rhythm over the
alternative 2D bid.
2) Say instead that partner has spades and diamonds. He
will bid 2S over 2H, and now you retreat to 3D. You'll get
to your best fit, albeit a level higher.
3) Finally, if you are facing a heart-diamond two suiter,
2H will land you in an inferior fit but now the opponents
will have a decent spade fit and you don't mind going down a
trick or two with your side non vulnerable.
Now that the suspense has built to a fever pitch, it's time
to reveal the entire hand:
North
S K1063
H Q8432
D A10
West C K5 East
S A985 S QJ42
H 75 H AKJ10
D K843 D Q65
C 1096 C A3
South
S 7
H 96
D J972
C QJ8742
At the table, South bid 2D over partner's double, warmly
greeted by a penalty double by West and now when North
scurried out to 2H, East had a red card firmly planted on
the table, knowing that responder had a smattering of
values. The resulting carnage was quite gruesome, and my
friend had -800 inscribed on his score sheet when all was
said and done.
The challenge of achieving the maximum result is more
elusive for East-West if South bids 2H. West does not have
the trumps for a penalty double, and when the auction rolls
around to the 1NT opener, a fresh problem arises. Generally
a reopening double by a 1NT opener is agreed to be for
takeout. Opener doesn't really have that kind of hand, and a
double would be more likely to be removed by partner
according to the partnership agreement. So to ensure a
plus, he MIGHT have to let 2H escape unscathed, where the
punishment will be -200 instead of -800 for N-S.
A good illustration of the benefits of playing sound raises
in competition came up in the Swiss Teams on Sunday. North-
South are vulnerable:
North
S xx
H AKQ10xx
D QJx
C 10x
West East
S AQ10xx S J9x
H x H J9xx
D A10x D Kxx
C Qxxx C xxx
South
S Kxx
H xx
D xxxx
C AKJx
Table 1
West North East South
1S 2H 2S dbl*
pass 3H pass pass
pass
Table 2
West North East South
1S 2H pass 2NT
pass 3NT dbl pass
pass pass
East's hand is not really worth a spade raise after the 2H
overcall, with 5 HCP and the unappealing 3433 distribution.
Yet many players, experts included, choose the threadbare 2S
bid on this kind of auction. At table 1, South was able to
make a responsive double and then pass overcaller's 3H
rebid. At table 2, East passed and South invited with 2NT,
raised to game. NOW East, with an honour in opener's suit
and a stopper in the enemy suit, doubled for penalty. On a
spade lead, the declarer had only six tricks and went down
three for -800. Colin Ward (Kaltica), who insists on 8-10
for responder to support after the overcall, chuckled when I
related the story of this hand to him. He said it served
East right to LOSE a huge chunk of IMPs with his silly
raise, which DISCOURAGED the opponents from trying for game,
whereas a pass would have ENCOURAGED them to bid on.
The following weekend, Dave and I played with Dave Brough
and Doug Fisher in the Winnipeg Final of the Canadian
National Teams. Four teams entered, and played a double-
round robin of twelve board matches. The two leaders at the
end of six matches would play a 28-board match the next day
to determine the winner. A trip to Edmonton for the National
Finals on June 18-14 awaited the victorious team. We
finished Saturday's play in first place, and took on the
squad of Bob Todd-Ken Sired-Bob Kuz-Neil Kimelman in the
final on Sunday. We suffered a couple of adverse swings the
early going, one self-inflicted and the other resulting from
a difference in system:
North
S 76
H AKJ104
D 8
West C AJ986 East
S AKQJ3 S 108
H 875 H Q93
D 10763 D A2
C 4 C KQ10753
South
S 9542
H 62
D KQJ954
C 2
West North East South
2S 3H pass pass
pass
Both sides were vulnerable, and Kenny opened with a weak 2S,
feeling the suit quality compensated for the lack of a sixth
card. With a decent 5-5 two suiter, I intervened with 3H,
ending the auction. A spade was led and the singleton club
returned. The hand was a total nightmare and I finished
down three for -300. At the other table, Doug passed as his
system reserves the 2S opening for a spade-minor two suiter
and less than opening points. North opened 1H and was
silenced for the balance of the auction by East's 2C
overcall. Doug and Dave overreached to game and went down,
so the opponents picked up an 11 IMP swing on this board.
Our side nibbled away, though, and had a 13 IMP lead at the
midway point. In the second half, our opponents started off
with a slam off two aces, won IMPs on a part score swing, and
took a serious body blow on this hand, with E-W vulnerable:
North
S K10
H xxx
D 10xxxx
C xxx
West East
S Qxx S x
H QJx H xxx
D KQ D AJ9xxx
C AQxxx C KJx
South
S AJ9xxxx
H AKxx
D void
C 10x
South West North East
1S pass pass 2D
3S 3NT pass pass
pass
The auction began similarly at both tables, West electing to
pass his 16-count because of the poor club spots and
balanced distribution. I was not able to overcall 1NT
because it would have been artificial in our methods. Once
partner balanced with 2D and opener jumped in spades, I bid
the no trump game, which came home easily after the K of
spades lead. At the other table, Dave Brough sacrificed in
4S with the North hand and the best E-W could do was double
for a one-trick set.
Actually, 3NT can be defeated five tricks on the unlikely
lead of a small heart from the North hand. South wins his K
and fires back a spade. North now takes his two spades and
then plays a second round of hearts, won by partner who now
runs the spades.
We picked up 11 IMPs on this hand to extend our lead to 31
IMPs, and there were numerous swings on the final 10 boards
that basically came out even and when the scores were
tabulated we had a 39 IMP victory.
Anyway, that concludes the Toronto-Winnipeg portion of my
bridge trek. Next month I'll talk about some exciting hands
from the Moose Jaw Regional.
********************
You can write to Wintaka (Bill Treble) at: btreble@escape.ca
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 11:00 A.M. OKbridge time, and on alternating Saturdays at
11:00 A.M. OKbridge time.
Wintaka and Kaltica present classes on: SAYC (Rainbow
Series) 2/1 (Spectrum series) Precision (Prism Series), and
other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised play
sessions. Email Bill (btreble@escape.ca) or Colin
(kaltica@mts.net) for more information.
==============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Glyder22 for this giggle:
ABC's of AGING
(Author Unknown)
A is for arthritis,
B is for bad back,
C is for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight -- can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention
and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches, and lots of incisions
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L is for libido--what happened to sex?
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack all the time
(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my M-memory
from time to time)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and
neurosis
O is for osteo -- for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?
Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!
R is for reflux -- one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears on how
to pay my increasing medical bills!
T is for tinnitus -- I hear bells in my ears
and the word "terminal" also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains not yet found
X is for X ray -- and what one might find
Y is for year (another one I'm still alive)
so Z is for zest
For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed,
And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed
=================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Year of the Cat
"As we go through life it's the little things
that come back again."
- Stephen Demetre Georgiou
A Gamble Gambit occurs in long team matches where
we lose our minds early in the match and then coast to
victory on a wave of the adversaries' overconfidence.
Such "mind loss" typically comes in the form of a
completely deranged bid: a psyche, an overbid or a
wildly light preempt. This ploy is the brainchild
of that terror of Canada's West coast, Bill Gamble.
Decades ago Billy--Treble, not Gamble--and I were
playing in a crucial qualifying team match. As rookies,
we were flattered to find ourselves asked to play with
two of Winnipeg's finest players. When comparing scores
after the second round one of our scores stood out.
Billy: "Board #3. Minus 50."
Teammate: "Oh, you two must have bid 6S."
Billy: "Nope."
Teammate: "Seven?"
Billy: "Nope."
Teammate: "Then what were you in?"
Billy: "Colin played in FOUR Spades."
Teammate: "Four? Down one in four?"
Billy: "Yup."
There was a pause, occasioned by looks all around.
Teammate: "Aren't there 11 inescapable tricks?"
Billy: "Yup."
Teammate: "A revoke, then?"
Billy: "Nope."
Teammate: "Two revokes, then?"
Billy: "None."
Teammate: "Misclaim?"
Billy: "Nope."
Our buddies waited patiently for an explanation.
None was forthcoming.
Teammate: "Uh, how did Colin avoid making 4S?"
Billy: "I donno. I was dummy. Saw the whole
thing, and I *still* donno how he
managed it."
Teammate: "But even if he plays his lowest card
from each hand at every trick, he
still makes 10 tricks, doesn't he?"
Billy: "Yup."
Teammate: "So, uh, how *did* you go down, Colin?"
I never answered this question. Instead, I
explained that after seeing me butcher this hand our
opponents doubled me in everything I declared. This
explained the +790, the +470 and the +750 our way.
I tried to tell them that this was like a Gamble
Gambit, but in the *play*. Strangely, they didn't
seem to be "buying" it.
The deal made the rounds as a double dummy play
problem: How does one AVOID making 4S on this hand?
It was like a sui-mate problem at chess.
A year and a half later my team mates and I were
sitting around at a friendly gathering. During a
lull in the conversation, one of them asked me: "So
how DID you manage to go down in that hand?"
Again, I smiled and said nothing. I had done
what no expert could figure out and I wasn't about
to lose this mystique now. Needless to say, I have
long since blotted out the hand and play from my
tenuous memory. Still, there is no escaping karma...
Last week this hand came up in a mini-tourney,
with Moogal and I fighting for first place.
IMPs Pairs
Dlr: North North
Vul: None Moogal
S A964
H T42
D 63
C A973
West East
S QT7532 S KJ
H Q H J965
D T2 D K985
C QJ64 C T52
South
Kaltica
S 8
H AK873
D AQJ74
C K8
west north east south
Moogal Kaltica
pass pass 1H!
2S 3H pass 4NT
pass 5H pass 6H
(all pass)
Opening Lead: CQ
Result: +6
Score: 980,
IMPs: +11.25 for N-S
Jan's 3H was a slight stretch. Expecting about
three goodies now, I stopped off to check for Key
Cards with 4NT en route to 6H. If Partner had three
of the critical missing cards (Spade Ace, Club Ace,
Heart Queen or Diamond King) 6H should have very
good chances. Even two of the non-trump gem cards
might be fine if Jan held 4+ Hearts.
We need to get the Diamonds going, so we win
the C-Queen with dummy's Ace and finesse a Diamond.
When this hook wins we go to dummy's S-Ace and
repeat it. Now we cash a top Heart. LHO deposits
hir Queen. According to our 2HARD (i.e. "2 Honours
Are Rarely Doubleton") rule, we go to dummy with a
Diamond ruff, setting up that suit, and lead our
H-10, intending to run it if RHO didn't cover. When
RHO did play the H-Jack we draw trumps and claim.
The good news is that this board decided first
place. The bad news is that it *cost* us first
place? Huh? Looking up the scores, I discovered
that the winners actually managed to defeat FOUR
Hearts. Four? They beat FOUR Hearts? How could
anyone fail to make FOUR Hearts? I was about to
go check the play records when I was struck by a
feeling of deja vu. I stopped myself, and took
a moment to marvel at the beauty of universal
justice--however delayed it may be.
"As we go through life, it's the little things
that come back again."
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Kaltica and Wintaka present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series),
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Colin (kaltica@mts.net) or
Bill (btreble@escape.ca) for more information.
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
One more from that oh so funny fishie -- thanks, Tuna :-)
Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes crash
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is
interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory
makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket
has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the
double-clicking icon puts your Window in the trash, and your
data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your
situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the
network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your
packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly
rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all
distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the
window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well
reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the
sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and
the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll
have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
========================================================