FIRESIDE CHAT MARCH 2002
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Guido's Really Important Stuff
Pomo's Pointers
This is Your Captain Speaking
Just Jill
Dealing With Dann
Moogal's FireSide Log
Special Treats
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the March, 2002 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at Moocake@aol.com.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
Please remember that the Bridgementor-L mail list
is available for discussions of bridge topics,
and, more importantly, as a forum in which you can
find immediate answers to your bridge questions.
To join, go to www.bridgementor.com and click on the
link for the discussion list.
OKbridge also offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge website now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
You can now find our "FireSide Chat" posted at Colin's
FireSide website. Just go to:
http://www.members.home.net/firesiders/thechat.htm
to read our current issue online, or to read any back issues,
starting with the October, 2001 issue. Any issues before
October can be found at the OKbridge website still.
FireSide also provides us with a "hand of the week"
feature. Go to our Hand of the Week site:
http://www.members.home.net/firesiders/fireside.htm
to check out the fun.
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed
from our mailing list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MONDAY 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MONDAY 5:30 P.M. BRIDGBOY
TUESDAY 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUESDAY 8:00 P.M. CAPTAIN
WEDNESDAY 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WEDNESDAY 5:30 P.M. PAMA
THURSDAY 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THURSDAY 5:30 P.M. RAIJA AND POMO
FRIDAY 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRIDAY 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
SATURDAY 11:00 A.M. WINTAKA/CAPTAIN
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
*************************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
cpw@escape.ca, Moogal at moocake@aol.com, or
Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
*************************
All articles herein (c) 2002 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Hi everybody! I have a couple of different subjects I'd like to
mention this month. To start with, I'd like to thank all of you
for your participation and helpfulness in the Gator Tourney.
I almost couldn't believe how smoothly the whole thing went --
and what a lot of fun it turned out to be. I really appreciate all
the support and kind words you shared with me during and
after the event.
I'd also like to congratulate D'Loye and her team for their
spectacular win :-) A very well-deserved win, in my opinion.
D'Loye was a very good sport about a very disappointing
turn of events, and the way she pulled together a team and
lead them to victory is truly an awe inspiring thing! WTG,
D'Loye and company.
Next, I'd like to thank Colin for offering to post this newsletter
at his website. Starting with the October 2001 issue, you can
go to http://www.members.home.net/firesiders/thechat.htm
to read past issues, or the current issue of FireSide Chat.
Back issues older than October of 2001 can still be found
posted at the OKbridge website:
(http://www.okbridge.com/membersclub/periodicals/fireside/)
Now for something that may seem a little weird, but I think
it's kinda neat -- Brian Meadows (brian_m at OKb) posted
a notice at the Discuss group about a project he participates
in that he thought some of us might like to be involved with,
too. He started an OKbridge group for any of us who are
interested... here is a copy of the notice he has asked
the Spectator editor to run this month -- I asked him if I
could publish the info here too and he said "sure!"
---------------------------
To the editor:
With Matt's advance knowledge, I have set up an OKBridge
members group as part of the SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial
Intelligence) at home initiative.
For those unfamiliar with SETI at home, it's a project to allow
internet users to donate *unused* processing power on their PCs
to a project to screen the signals received from the Arecibo
radio telescope, looking for groups of signals which might be
evidence of alien civilizations.
Running this software doesn't affect your PC in any way, it
either runs as a screen saver or crunches away quietly in the
background, and once in a while it will ask you (user
configurable option) whether it can upload the current chunk of
data and download some more.
If you want to read more about the SETI at home initiative, the
WWW site is http://setiathome.berkeley.edu, where you'll find
more information about the project than you'd want to read.
If you decide you'd like to join the OKBridge group, it's called
"OKBridge members". I've written a step-by-step guide to
installing the Windows version of the software and joining the
group, you can get a copy by sending an e-mail message to
seti@wellsborocomputing.com. This is an autoresponder, so it
should send you back the requested file within a couple of
minutes, but nobody will see your message, You can leave both the
subject line and the body of the message blank.
Brian Meadows
(brian_m)
------------------------------------------
Thanks, Brian :-) I've had SETI at home running on my
computer for a couple of weeks now, and it's kinda neat.
I know it's not everyone's "thing," but I thought I'd let you
know about it just in case you are interested.
I'd like to end this column with this thought I received
from Mindy:
" We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box."
Take care, everyone. Happy Spring to all of you!
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to our #1 favorite fishie (tuna) for this one:
Sand
An octogenarian who was an avid golfer moved to a new town and
joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first
time to play but was told there wasn't anybody he could play with
because they were already out on the course.
He repeated several times that he really wanted to play.
Finally, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and asked
how many strokes he wanted for a bet. The 80 year old said "I really
don't need any strokes as I have been playing quite well. The only
real problem I have is getting out of sand traps."
And he did play well. Coming to the par four 18th they were all even.
The pro had a nice drive and was able to get on the green and 2-putt
for a par. The old man had a nice drive, but his approach shot landed
in a sand trap next to the green. Playing from the bunker he hit a
high ball which landed on the green and rolled into the hole! Birdie,
match and all the money! The Pro walked over to the sand trap where
his opponent was still standing in the trap. He said "Nice shot, but
I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps?".
Replied the octogenarian, "I do. Please give me a hand."
=============================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
Having played in the Gator this past weekend, some obvious things
were still found to be true at my table. You do not win events
with brilliancies of a high order, but rather by taking all your
tricks, bidding exactly what you have for partner, and doubling
them when they step out.
Here are a few examples to make my points clearer. You pick up:
S xxxx
H Qx
D QJxx
C Kxx
and you hear this auction:
1H (partner) -1S (overcall)
You decide on a negative X - 2S
3D (from partner) - 3S
P - P
4C (from partner) - P
back to you?
At both tables, a game was lost when the players did not
see partner's hand and take the correct action. Partner is
0-5-4-4 shape with at least 16 plus points. How does that
suit you now? All eight of your points are working hard.
A quick count of losers will tell you there just are not
a lot of them! Bid 5D, and do not be surprised that six
may be cold! But do not stop in 4, please... that game
bonus is there!
Next case:
S x
H xx
D AKQxxx
C AQxx
You open 1D.
1D - 3H by lefty
4H from partner - P
your call?
What does partner have that he is forcing you to game?
At least can you give him a representative hand? There
is no hand that I can reasonably give him that would not
include controls in both majors. Remember, he did
not bid 3NT either, so he does not just have enough for
game -- slam is on the horizon. Your excellent six card
suit and 6-4 shape should bring you to that conclusion also.
So, slam is waiting for you; all you have to do is visualize it.
It is these common mistakes that will cause you to
lose matches, not super duper squeezes or endplays.
Eliminate mistakes! Instead of focusing on winning matches,
focus on not losing them.
*************************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:30 p.m, and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Jill Wilson for this one:
Error Haiku
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
=============================================
GUIDO'S REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF
===============================
Bidding Lessons of a Lifetime
OK, folks, you've been lucky. I've taken a few months off, but once
again I'm taking bandwidth to pass along a few of my weird ideas
about bridge.
Here is my short list of the most important lessons I have learned.
1) Understand evaluation. No single method of evaluation is perfect
or nearly so. Use high card points, cover cards, controls, losing
trick count, inside-out (a Jeff Ruebens invention sadly neglected),
Law of Total Tricks, honor tricks, etc. etc. Learn how the value of
your hand changes as the auction progresses. Note, please, that
this will improve your results regardless of who is sitting across the
table from you.
2) Use fewer conventions and define more treatments. A treatment
is a natural call with a defined range or shape or both (example:
1H-3H can be defined as invitational with 4 trumps - that's a
treatment. 1N-2C asking for a 4 card major is a convention).
Natural bidding has all sorts of advantages. You will have fewer
misunderstandings and will often have shorter, less revealing
auctions.
3) The best system/treatment/convention is the one your partner
likes. This often contradicts number 2 above, but it is still true.
If your partner is in love with Inverted Reverse Kumquat, by all
means play it. After the session you can try to talk some sense
into her/him/it, but that is after the session. If your partner is
happy and comfortable with the bidding methods you will do
better - regardless of how inferior the methods are.
4) Keep your bidding rules simple. The most obvious example is
deciding when 4NT is Blackwood (or, worse, which suit is agreed
in RKC). It is infinitely superior to have a sub-optimal
understanding than a misunderstanding. Ian and I have a very
simple Blackwood rule: 4NT is Blackwood only when it is either a
jump, or it is bid on the 1'st or 2'nd round. You might hate that
rule, but we ALWAYS know what our 4NT calls mean.
5) If you know where you are going, get there quickly. This makes
life easier for your partner, prevents misunderstandings, and limits
the information you give your opponents. It is much, much harder to
defend against 1H-3H; 4H than 1H-2C; 2D-2H; 3C-3S; 3N-4H.
6) Plan your auction in advance. Pauses (often called going out to
lunch) in the middle of auctions provide your opponents with useful
information, and put your partner under great ethical strain. There
is NEVER a reason to go out to lunch in an "expected" sequence
such as 1H-1S. No matter what your hand is as opener, you should
have prepared for a 1S (and other expected responses) before
opening the bidding. If the bidding goes 1H-2C; 2D-5S then,
yes, feel free to take a few seconds to figure out what is going on.
7) Game always comes first. Worry about slam bidding secondarily.
If a bid could be either a search for the best game contract or a slam
move, it is looking for the best game. Obviously, you need
partnership agreement here, and any exceptions should be well
thought out and agreed to in advance.
8) When in doubt, bid 3NT. It might be the best contract; and it
might make even if it is a horrible contract. If you are not sure
what to bid, any guess might be wrong, and 3NT is often best --
or at least decent.
9) Style is important. It is not important what style you play
(sound openings, light openings, whatever.) It IS important that you
understand your partner's style and she understand yours. Ask your
partner the following question: How often are you going to accept
a simple game invitation (1H-3H or whatever). You can play that
responder invites freely, in which case acceptance will be less
frequent. You can play that responder invites only with sound values,
in which case acceptance will be very frequent. Ian accepts 90% of
game invitations, so I have (what I think are) solid values to invite.
It works, but so does the opposite.
10) Don't give your partner any unnecessary problems. Keep it
simple.
11) Treat your partner as he wants to be treated. If he doesn't want
to discuss hands during play, don't discuss them. If she likes
wisecracks to keep the game loose, make wisecracks (aimed at
yourself is best, by the way).
12) If your partner has Velveeta cheese in her refrigerator, NEVER
EVER let her choose where to go to dinner.
******************************
You can write to Guido (Paul Friedman) at: paulfriedman@attbi.com
==================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to DavidRG for these:
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down
and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something
that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved
in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere
=======================================================
POMO'S POINTERS
================
PRIME VALUES AND SOFT VALUES
What's my hand really worth?
To blindly follow the 4-3-2-1 point count will result in a poor
evaluation technique on all but the balanced hands. The old stand-by
methods work well with two balanced hands but lacks any imagination
when some distribution and longer suits are involved. We need to
forget about counting points after the initial count and concentrate
on the real issues like fit or lack of fit and what kind of points do
I have. Queens and Jacks are generally soft values...requiring much
labor to establish tricks. In suit contracts they may be trumped
before any good comes from them. Aces and Kings are far closer to
being winners already and need little or no work to create a winner.
Prime values are Aces, Kings, and trump honors - or honors in a long
strong suit.
For example:
S QJ S A2
H QJ2 H 852
D KJ653 D AKQ96
C QJ4 C 643
Both hands are 13 High Card Points
But the 2'nd hand has great trick taking
potential as opposed to the 1'st hand.
Too many Queens and Jacks in the hand on the left - no "real" tricks.
Beware of hands of this type...Pass any close hand with no Ace and
only one King - you will surely get too high in most cases. Of
course, when Queens and Jacks are supporting higher honors - then the
story changes: S KQJ94 these are good Q-J combinations when with
a higher honor in a long suit.
When deciding on whether to try for slam - look for the prime values
(Aces, Kings, trump honors) and evaluate those cards highly...next any
honor in partner's second suit should help to fill in the holes to
create a more solid holding between the two hands. Discount any
stray Queens and Jacks - they may add up to plenty of points, but lack
any real value.
Honors in your shorter suits will not be as useful as honors in the
longer suits and in some cases will be totally worthless. If the
opponents have bid any suit, discount the lowly Queens and Jacks and
adjust your values for Kings, depending on which opponent has bid
that suit.
*************************
You can find Pomo and Raija doing their FireSide sessions
on Thursday evenings at 5:30 p.m. OKbridge time.
(Except the second Thursday of the month, when the Fifth
Chair's Novice/Mentor Tourney is held.)
You can email Pomo at: reisig@oco.net
======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for sharing the following with us:
Good Workout
Thought I would let you in on a little secret I've
found for building my arm and shoulder muscles.
You might wish to adopt this regimen - 3 days a
week is a good routine.
I start by standing outside behind the house and,
with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend
my arms straight out to my sides and hold them
there as long as I can.
After a while I moved up to 10 pound potato
sacks, then 50 pound potato sacks and finally I
got to where I could lift a 100 pound potato sack
in each hand and hold my arms straight out for
more than a full minute!
Next, I started putting a few potatoes in the
sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo
it at this level..
=================================================
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING
===========================
Gator
The Gator was a pretty exciting week-end. My congratulations to
the mighty Kaltica for this great idea!
I will give you two problems that I faced that would swing big
IMPs, if you are making the right decisions! And in both
cases you know a zillion IMPs are riding on your decision..
You could cut the tension with a butter knife! First an opening
lead problem --
north TN.IMP Board 10
captain
S AQ42
H 74
D 54 west north east south
C KJ985 1D pass
1H X 3H pass
4NT pass 5H pass
6H (all pass)
Opening Lead: ??
----------------------------------------------------
IMPs north
Dlr: East captain
Vul: Both S AQ42
H 74
D 54
C KJ985
west east
S J3 S T6
H AQT965 H KJ82
D A3 D KQ9862
C Q73 C A
south
S K9875
H 3
D JT7
C T642
Opening Lead: SA
Result: -1
Score: 100
IMPs: 13.00
---------------------------------------------------
I passed the opening lead test -- now a bidding test --
north TN.IMP Board 5
captain
S AQ72
H AQT543
D Q98
C
west north east south
1H 5C 6H
pass (pass or 7H?)
what is your bid?
----------------------------------------------------
TN.IMP Board 5
north
captain
S AQ72
H AQT543
D Q98
C
west east
S JT64 S 85
H 86 H 2
D KJ654 D T
C 64 C KQJT98752
south
S K93
H KJ97
D A732
C A3
west north east south
1H 5C 6H
pass 7H!! (all pass)
Opening Lead: CK
Result: -1
Score: -100, IMPs: -17.00
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
W 6 4 6 8 D4 4 6 T J 5 K- D6
N D9 H3-H4 5 A-S 2 A- SQ-S7 8 Q
E CK 2 2 CQ CJ 5 8 CT C9 T C5
S A-C3 K- HJ-H7 K- S3 9 H9- DA- D2
ARGH...the agony of defeat! Very unlucky the singleton diamond
was not the king is all I can say! In my defense, the other table
only heard 5H from pard... or am I entitled to an excuse?
*************************
You will find Captain (Andy Anderson) doing his
FireSide sessions on Tuesday evenings, at 8:00 P.M.
OKbridge time, and every other Saturday at 11:00 A.M.
Captain is a full time instructor on OKbridge,
offering group or individual lessons for anyone
ranging from novice to advanced players.
Email Andy for more information - andy@imagewireless.ca
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Believer found this one while wandering thru some websites:
Wedding Vows
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old
granddaughter playing "wedding." The
wedding vows went like this:
"You have the right to remain silent,
anything you say may be held against you,
you have the right to have an attorney
present. You may kiss the bride."
====================================================
Just Jill
======
Feeling My Oats
My husband is a patient man,
He's waited seven years;
(Or if you count the three before,
That's ten then, it appears...)
Before that time, I would not play
A hand of bridge with him;
In fact, I showed no interest 'til
This recent sudden whim.
I don't know what's come over me,
And I don't think he cares;
It matters more that *now I play*
(*That* caught him unawares!)
But being Ian's partner is
A tricky business here;
His expertise is very high
And mine is nowhere near.
It helps to play with others who
Are closer to my skill,
And not to take advantage of
His natural good will. ;-)
I like to play with Sara 'cuz
She rarely ever bites;
Besides, the dumb mistakes I make
Are outweighed by delights.
It's challenging to play against
My husband and his pard;
They tend to take up bidding space
Which makes it very hard.
I work and sweat to count my points,
Deciding how to play,
Then Ian, on my right-hand side,
Precludes what I might say!
I hate it when he does that 'cuz
I'd like to bid my hand,
But jumping up to level 3
Is not what I had planned!
So when I'm in a bidding funk,
I ask my friend to help;
We go somewhere to practice and
Untangle all the kelp!
We open up a dialog
And chat about each hand,
About what we might bid or what
We think we understand.
"When you say 2NT to me
I think what you just said
Is that you have a lot of points
So we are way ahead..."
"And when I answer with 3 clubs
I'm trying to explore
A fit in hearts or spades with you...
Tell me where you have four."
My confidence in bidding is
Increasing more each day;
But bidding isn't all there is
'Cuz then you have to play!
(c)Copyright 2002 by Jill Wilson
*************************
You can write to Jill at: ilovechocolate@earthlink.net
===================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for this one:
Family Feud
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the
man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 A.M.
for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be
the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 A.M."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am,
and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't roused him when he noticed a piece of paper
by the bed that read, "It is 5:00 A.M. Wake up."
==================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
==================
Attitude
My first point of business for this month is to congratulate
D'Loye's team for their victory in the Gator -- Well done!
While we usually work on our technical skills at FireSide,
this month I would like to talk to you about a different aspect
of the game. No Colin, not psyching, but a psyche can -- and
usually does -- affect this part of the opponents game.
I want to talk about our mental outlook!
If we sit at a table expecting a poor result, thinking
negatively, we generally will reap what we sow.
So, in the same thought process, why not think positively,
and have a better chance at garnering ourselves some
good results! While I cannot guarantee good results, I can
tell you that it can only help your game.
At a recent tournament, playing a two session IMPs pairs,
we sat through a horrible first session. Our opponents bid
every making game -- missing nothing. Partner and I avoided
any huge mistake (except not finding the trump Q in a slam for
minus 50!) and ended up a very average plus 3. Even though
we were not real happy about our progress so far, we didn't get
down on ourselves or try to create something out of nothing.
The second session was the opposite! Our opponents could
do little correct (partner and I actually played worse -- probably
slopping some 40-50 IMPs) but by remaining positive
throughout a decidedly horrible first session we were still in a
position to capitalize. By scoring 79 IMPs in the second
session, our total of 82 was enough to pass the halftime
leaders (77 in first session, 4 in second) by a full, 'positive
thinking' IMP!
It won't happen for you every time out, but it certainly won't
hurt to have a positive outlook.
On a much bigger stage, look at the Canadian Gold medal
winning team. While at the last Tournament, I talked with Peter
Jones and Nick Gartaginis (both members of Canada's victorious
Generali Trophy teams.) They kept a positive outlook,
despite trailing the Bermuda Bowl champion Italians by over
50 IMPs with 23 boards to play in the semi-final. They did come
back for the huge upset.
So while we still need to polish our cardplay skills to become
better players, do not overlook other skills required to become
a winner.
Happy Bridging all!
DANN (POOKA) KRAMER!
*******************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m.
OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: Dann-Kramer@shaw.ca
===================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A big thanks to BRinker for this one:
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through
no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things, ..........
THEN.....................................
YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG!
================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
======================
FireSide News
One of those bad news, good news, thingies!
It's always sad to say goodbye to a commentator,
especially one who has been with us since the
beginning! We'll miss Laura (LBROWN) and we wish
her well as she devotes full time to her 'real' job,
graphic design. We've all been through a lot together,
and we'll remember all the good times with a smile!
The good news is that Pam (PamA) is filling in in that
slot, and the reviews have been terrific. So be sure
to stop by and get a dose of her charming wisdom, and
tell her how happy we are to have her!
In addition to her bridge (She played very seriously
in the 1970's -- her last serious event was playing
for the US in the New Orleans Olympiad in 1978) Pam
works full-time for FEMA (Wish I had known her in the
wake of Hurricane Andrew!) She's returned to bridge
after many years and is truly enjoying the many
friends and wonderful players from around the world
that she's found on OKbridge. And we're delighted
to know you, too, Pam!
So be sure to thank Laura for all her time on our
behalf over the years, and to say hello to Pam!
---------------------------------------------------
OKB Tourney News
Tue Feb 5 11:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/Moogal 2.73 25
Finally teaching that pard of mine a few things.:)
..................
Tue Feb 12 18:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 dloye/dreamer 70.06 12
Congrats to Dloye and Dreamer, on a beautiful MP win in one of
the first new mini tourneys. (See below for more info on this!)
.................
Sun Feb 17 16:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Nantica/wintaka 3.11 23
Two of my favorite OKB'ers, Marlene and Billy had a HUGE win
in this tourney. Second place was a mere 1.96! Well done,
my friends.
...................
There is news on the OKB tourney front: Mini's are here!
Love the thrill of competing in the tourneys but don't have
three hours to spend? The new Mini's might be just what
you are looking for!
The mini's are 12 boards, otherwise the same as the longer
tourneys. The schedule is:
IMPs Sat 10AM; Wed 7PM
MPs Sat 2:30PM; Sun 2:30PM & 6PM; Mon 7PM; Tue 6PM; Thu 6PM;
Fri 4PM
These mini tourneys are free until March 15, so grab a pard
and try one now!
-------------------------------------------------------
Novice Mentor Tourney
Congrats to Bob (GLYDER22) and his partner BEijl1 who outscored
the field (61.29%) to take the win in the February Novice Mentor
tourney!
Our other top finishers were:
2 cosomo/riggin 60.95
3 DavidRG/dbetter 60.30
4 AndyEdw/sue1 58.88
5 Elsie204/scottax2 58.83
6 arrow/ojab 56.99
7 Jeff/taylor2 56.53
8 kayt/mcphee 55.51
9 Andre55/DeniseB 54.68
10 BBWolf/Frodo 52.48
11 conisu99/Moryn 52.22
12 bobowen/luc 52.01
13 gordon/lol6013 50.28
14 believer/fpdoc 50.00
Mentors and novices, join us this month on the 14th!
Email me at moocake@aol.com or Laurie (BAGEL27) at
bagelbroad@fscv.net if you would like to find a partner
ahead of time, we'll do our best to match you up! I promise
you a fun evening.:)
----------------------------------------------------------
Mentor Cup Team Game:
Feb 10: Team BELIEVER: Believer, FPDoc, Psyche and Pooka
Feb 24: Team ELVEE: Elvee, Luc, Arrow and Tara
Well done to all of you and to our other top
finishers -- see who they are on our webpage at:
www.escape.ca/~cpw/mtc.htm.
***Note a schedule change for March. Due to
the Nationals in Houston, the Mentor Cup Games
will held on March 17 and March 31.
Email me at Moocake@aol.com to get on the reminder
list for these games. All welcome!
------------------------------------------------------
Did you enter Richard Pavlicek's contest in January?
Even his son tried his hand at the these problems
....and came in third!
When I saw that, I knew this would be a good time to
use one of his articles in his series "From Richie to
Rich"!
From Richie to Rich
Over the years I've written several bridge articles
featuring my son -- what father could resist. These
articles appeared in various publications in South
Florida, starting in 1982 when Rich was 12.
My son's name is also Richard (formally with Jr.
appended). As a child and through his early teens he
went by "Richie," but as an adult he prefers "Rich"
-- if you think about it I guess we'd all prefer to be
rich -- so I've updated the references here.
Rich, now 32, lives in San Mateo, California. He works
in neighboring San Francisco as a software engineer for
NativeMinds Inc., an internet company that specializes
in artificial intelligence research.
Although we live on opposite coasts of the U.S., we play
bridge regularly on OKbridge and get together four or five
times a year for major bridge tournaments.
Here is one of the articles featuring Rich:
Suit Establishment
I was North on this deal and my son Rich was South -- over
3,000 miles away in California. The Internet and computers
ease some of the anguish of living far away from family and
friends. Our opponents were both experts.
4Sx by South
S AKQ6
H 5
D AQ7 5
C Q75
S 1073 S 9
H 83 H KQJ9 4
D J93 D K1042
C AK1094 C 63
S J8542
H A1072
D 8
C J82
Lead: CA
West North East South
1 D 2 H Pass
Pass Dbl Pass 2S
Pass 3S Pass 4S
Pass Pass Dbl All Pass
When East's weak jump overcall was passed around, I
reopened with a takeout double. Rich bid his spades
and happily accepted my game invitation. Oops! East
made what experts call an "offside double" -- he knew
our decision to bid game was close and he could see we
were headed for bad breaks. Sometimes doubles based on
table feel can be lucrative. Not this time.
The defense attacked quickly with three rounds of clubs,
East ruffing; then the HK went to South's ace. Rich had
seven top tricks and could see that ruffing three hearts
in dummy (i.e., a crossruff) would be doomed by the poor
spade spots in his hand. So he focused on the diamond suit:
DA; diamond ruff; SA; diamond ruff. When the suit split
4-3 he was home: heart ruff; diamond ruff *high*; then
draw trumps and claim.
This was not a difficult deal, but it provides an instructive
point for a student of the game. If declarer were to draw just
one round of trumps (or ruff a heart) before starting diamonds,
he could not succeed. Try it! Establishing the long diamond
requires perfect timing.
Thanks Richard! Don't forget to try his contest for March:
Aces and Plum Blossoms at www.rpbridge.net/7w73.htm
It's a bidding poll. As usual, the hands are from a past
tournament, and participants are invited to guess when and
where. Try it, the bidding contests, while not easy, at least
are a tad easier than the play ones! :)
If you entered his February contest, "Leading for the Gold",
results will be posted on March 3 at www.rpbridge.net/7v72.htm,
or try it there for fun!
-----------------------------------------------------
Angels everywhere! Firesiders were honored
for both February and March!
Congrats to our dear friend Maggie (ARROW)
who wore the Angelfish logo in February!
This is old news by now, but in case you
didn't see it in the Spectator, here is
the scoop:
Maggie "arrow" Sparrow of Ontario, Canada,
is our Angelfish for February.
Alan-s writes:
It was mid-tourney, and as things were going
unusually well, there was something at stake.
On the 1'st board of the round my partner
opened a weak 2 hearts. With a smattering of
values and a little heart support, I made the
obvious pass, and my computer started to reboot.
I hobbled back to the table some time later
and found the bidding box staring me in the
face again... I guess my pass had not taken?
I knew we must be late and ought to hurry so
I clicked my choice of pass again and then
looked closer in horror -- it was only a
similar hand and pard had opened 1H! Obviously
the play of the earlier 2H contract had been
completed in my absence and this was the next
deal. We were missing a cold game!
I gulped and offered my apologies to pard,
preparing to take my lumps for not paying
proper attention. My opponent, Arrow,
immediately came to my rescue! She announced
that she had called the director and had asked
for a skip on my behalf. You might think that
was simply the "right thing to do", but I know
many who would not be so gracious. She even
did it without any prompting from us! I was
delighted to be playing against folks who want
to earn their 10 imps the good old fashioned way.
We're proud of you Maggie! I'd also like to
mention that Andre55 and Jerry1 were nominees!
********************
Jerry1 did better than that for March...he is
the winner for this month!
Tuna summarized why we love Jerry so as follows:
Jerry Denney "jerry1" of OKlahoma, USA is our
Angelfish for March.
I myself play a lot and know how a person's patience
can be tested by inconsideration and intolerance. Many
reports from partners and opponents alike inform me that
Jerry rises to the occasion each and every time! Never
an unkind word is a tough commitment. Health concerns
do not deter him. No matter how hard someone tries to
cause a disturbance, Jerry still guarantees them a good
time! Look for Jerry1 online to play or kibitz. His table is
easy to find... it's the one with a dozen people at it.
Good choice, Tuna! From all of us at Fireside, congrats
to Jerry!
--------------------------------------------
I haven't tried the following yet, so no guarantees, but sounds
like fun!
The World Bridge Federation, Bridge Trix, and ECats challenge
YOU to play at the 4th IOC Grand Prix in Salt Lake City. You
can actually play some of the same hands challenging the most
exciting invitational team tournament, held under the auspices
of the World Bridge Federation and the International Olympic
Committee.
Operating System: Windows 95, 98, Me, Windows NT 3.51 or higher,
Windows 2000, or Windows XP
Browser: Internet Explorer 4.0 or higher, or Netscape Navigator
4.0 or higher
Java Plugin: The application will offer to install this if it
is not already installed
Launching: Simply open the link to the bridge applet, and the
application will load (again, it will offer to install the
Java Plugin if it is not already installed on your machine).
Proceed to login, or press the "Guest" button to play as a
non-subscriber.
http://66.9.197.2/bridgetrix/game/ioc.html
Have fun !
All the best
Anna
-------------------------------------------------
Junior Collegiate Team Championship April 20-21
Registration is presently being accepted for the ACBL 2002
Junior Collegiate Team Championship to be held on OKbridge.
This free annual event pits college and university bridge
teams from around the world in online competition. The Fifth
Chair Foundation and OKbridge are the organizers of the event.
The event is open to all Juniors (under 26) who are currently
enrolled in a college or university. A team must consist of
four, five or six players, with at least two of its members
attending the same school.
Participants will be supplied with a complimentary, temporary
OKbridge membership up to two weeks prior to the event.
Want to enter, or know someone who would be interested? Email
tuna@okbridge.com
For more details about this tournament, read the "Upcoming events"
section of the OKB Members' Club or go to the Fifth Chair website.
------------------------------------------------
Hope you didn't miss the FireSide Gator Tourney the weekend
of Feb 16-17! What fun!
Once again Sara (Believer) was our hostess with the mostess,
and we were quickly organized into 14 teams with our 'owners'
cheering us on.
HUGE thanks to the celebrities who donated their
time to our event: Wintaka, Bridgboy, PamA, Tuna, Harmon,
JackL, O_bones, Captain, Unicorn, McPhee, Harmon, Raija,
and Kaltica.
Think one of these celebs walked away with the prize?? Think
again! One of our celebs was a no-show, so Dloye, who had
bought that team, quickly scrambled to put together a team
of inters, later augmented by the experts her team beat,
and marched off to victory!
Congratulations to the millennium's first
Gator winner: Team DLoye! Well done! The
final standings are:
1st Place = DLoye
2nd Place = Kaltica
3rd Place = Captain
4th Place = O_Bones
5th Place = Raija
And the winning team is:
DLoye D'Loye Swift
JST_2000 John Stanley
Gunne Chuck Gill
Kaysha Cindi Johnson
Raija Raija Reisig
Pomo Richard Reisig
Captain Andy Anderson
Jackl Jacques Laliberte
Cielle Noella Brule
Harmon Harmon Edgar
I want to thank OUR owners of Team Kaltica, Lyn (LYNKOS)
and Nancy (NANCOR), who made the most brilliant decision of
the weekend at trick one, choosing Raye (COSOMO) and Paul
(PKV) to fill out our team!
Deep appreciation to all those who supported the event
financially and with your presence!
And special thanks to Tuna, for helping us in many
ways, especially in finding the experts who filled
out our rosters.
All the details of the matches can be found at:
http://www.members.home.net/firesiders/gator.htm
----------------------------------------------
Congrats to Bob (HAWES) and Judith (JUNDITH) who won
a few gold and red points in a Connecticut regional!
It was a new experience for them, playing in a knockout,
and they placed in the finals, so they were tickled with
their performance!
Well done, you two!
-----------------------------------------------------
Political Corner
Apparently Janet Reno considers some bridge
conventions essential in her run for governor
of Florida!
Actual headline in The Miami Herald, Monday,
Feb. 25, page 1B:
Reno's
tour for
support
doubles
as a test
----------------------------------------------------
Congrats to Mindy (MINDY) and her family.....her son,
Eric, has just been granted a Fellowship at University of
Texas at Dallas to further his PhD studies in Computer
Physics! I know how proud you must be!
=====================================================
Our travel editor, Gail (GAIL37), didn't have to travel
far to give us a first hand peek at the winter Olympics
in Salt Lake City...she lives there now! (I also have
a report from her on her trip to Australia, saving that
for you for next month, since this is timely now....so
tune in next month!)
Here's her up-close-and-personal:
This was probably the most exciting time I can remember
in Salt Lake, and this from someone who did not take in a
single event. Everyone and everything seemed to have the
adrenaline flowing. "Have you been to any events?" or "what
have you seen?" seemed to be opening gambits for any
conversation. I had a good friend carrying the torch for
one segment. Our visitors seemed to be very happy with it all,
saying how friendly everyone was, what great venues, etc.
There was some minor annoyance about the security, but most
took it in stride and were quite understanding. For the
most part, this city was in a PARTY DOWN!!! mood!
The opening Ceremonies were wonderful and we could see the
fireworks from my house. There were concerts every night
in the Medals Plaza, after the medals ceremonies. All were
well-behaved. You may have heard about a "riot" on the last
Saturday nite. All reports were exaggerated. I think
all told there was one storefront damaged and one police car.
And you have to remember that it was the last night, the whole
city was having such a wonderful time! I think that rather
than a "riot", the sense of the crowd was more "we don't want
it to end!"
I watched the Closing Ceremonies on TV, but when the fireworks
started I went outside to see. I live 3 blocks below the
stadium. I got to the intersection and could turn full circle
and see fireworks someplace! I've NEVER seen such a display!
It was *spectacular*, *incredible*...I'm really at a loss for
words. All my neighbors were standing in the street in the
middle of the intersection, not knowing where to look. We were
yelling and clapping, just amazed at the show.
Today, the day after the closing, the city seems sort of subdued,
almost depressed. We've all been on such a high, and now it's
over. But what wonderful memories we all have!
Here are some statistics you might find fun:
70,000 visitors *daily* to downtown Salt Lake
25,000 of those visited Bud World, Budweiser's entertainment
center downtown
470 metal detectors at all Olympic venues
25,714 volunteers
78 events
77 Olympic COMMITTEES
477 medals (includes individual medals for team members)
$1.9 billion dollars cost of Olympic party. $1.3 billion raised
by SLOC thru sponsorships, $400 million from Federal
Gov't, $225 million from state and local gov'ts.
(Reports yesterday said there was a surplus of funds. YEA!)
$82 average cost of an Olympic ticket.
1.6 million tickets available, 95% of which were sold
$545 million--what NBC paid for rights to broadcast games
15 age of youngest competitor
48 age of oldest competitor
And this is what amazed me:
2,654 athletes AND
12,000 law enforcement and military security personnel!
Gail
--------------------------------------------
Congratulations to Bonnie (TARA) who became a Swan Master
after winning a tourney at that site. Well done, Bonnie!
----------------------------------------------
Seen on a card:
This one comes courtesy of Sara --
"Jack denies. So do I on principle."
Remember to send me the ones you see that
make *you* smile!
------------------------------------------------
I remember when Eric (ETSAND) started talking about the
2002 Nationals in his home town of Houston...seemed years
off, and it was then!
Now the time is almost here, and I am looking forward to
heading out there for the first weekend, March 8-10.
Anyone else going?? If so, we are going to try to get a
group together for a casual dinner on Sunday evening between
sessions...if you would like to join us, email Eric at
etsand@worldnet.att.net, or call me at my hotel, the
Westin Oaks Tower, 713-960-8100, and leave a message for
Janice Kofman. We'll do our best!
I know Bob (Bridgboy) will be there also...look for us!
I'll be easy to spot -- I'll be standing next to a very
tall guy!:)
Hope to see some of you next week, for a hug in person!
Janice
-------------------------------------------------------
MENTORING SESSIONS
Some of our commentators are offering group mentoring
sessions. This is an easy, fun, and very affordable
way to get both bidding and play instruction with your
partner, friends, or as a single participant. Email
the commentator if you want information on joining
one of the established groups with spots available,
or to discuss a session at your convenience.
Kibitzers are welcome at most sessions.
Watch this spot for future sessions from our other
commentators also!
********************
KALTICA
Colin is currently holding sessions on Mondays, Tuesdays,
Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Email him for more information.
You can contact Colin at cpw@escape.ca.
........................................................
POOKA
Was anybody's favorite dwarf Bashful? If so...Pooka offers
a "private" group mentoring session, in a hidden table
format, for those who would prefer a closed setting for
their mentoring sessions. Contact Dann at:
dann-kramer@shaw.ca for more information.
-----------------------------------------------------
FIRESIDE MEMORIAL FUND
The next time you need to make a donation in honor of,
or in memory of, a friend or loved one, consider
Fireside! We'll notify the recipient of your donation
(minus the amount of course) and note your kind thoughts
here, in my column.
Send it to Sara (BELIEVER) or Colin (KALTICA) just as with
your regular donations, but be sure to include an email
address for the recipient, and, if the honoree is an OKB
member, their username. Also, please note if you do NOT
want it publicized here. Would appreciate also that you
email me the same info that you put in your note to Colin
or Sara.
----------------------------------------------------------
March Events: (All times Pacific)
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY: Thursday, March 14,
6:00 P.M. A low-key introduction to the tourney
experience, sponsored by Fifth Chair.....see
www.fifthchair.org for more info on this and
their other services, including getting a mentor.
MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME: Sunday, 5:00 P.M. March
17 and 31. See www.escape.ca/~cpw/mtc.htm for info
and lists of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at moocake@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR: OKScript seminars are held as
demand warrants. Email Kaltica to schedule a session,
usually available on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup
Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.escape.ca/~cpw/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at cpw@escape.ca.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@aol.com
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
From Tony 'Tuna ' ("no more groaners, please") Reus:
The Montreal Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In
the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which
the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that
whole time looking stupid, some bass players decided to sneak
offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After
slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked
at his watch.
"Hey! We need to get back!" he said. "No need to panic," said a
fellow bass player. "I thought we might need some extra time, so
I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with
string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."
A few moments later, they staggered back to the concert hall and
took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the
audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as
much to her companion. "Well, of course," said her companion,
"Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and
the basses are loaded."
================================================
SPECIAL TREATS
===============
Our first 'special treat' this month comes from Maggie (Arrow)
Sparrow, written by Barbara Perry :
---------------
(With apologies to Barbara Seagram and Marc Smith
whose book, "25 Conventions You Should Know,"
is very popular at our club.)
CHAPTER 26
The 26th Bridge Convention You Should Know
Gerber is fun! Blackwood is fun! Why not double this fun
by using an advanced variation called the Gartner/Perry
Convention? It uses Gerber AND Blackwood in any given
hand. It is sometimes called the Fun-Sharing Convention
because - you guessed it - both partners share the fun of
asking for aces, one using Gerber, the other using
Blackwood. This is the hand that invented this convention:
Dealer: South
Vulnerable: Both
NORTH
KJ
AQ105
KJ95
K103
WEST EAST
7632 954
872 J43
10 Q642
QJ742 965
SOUTH
AQ108
K96
A873
A8
North South
1NT
2C* 2S
4C** 4NT^
5C*** 6NT^^
7NT****
* Wow, I've got 17pts and pard has a NT opener? Don't panic!!
start with Stayman...
** Well, no major fit, so NT it is - but how high? Ask for aces, I
know... use Gerber.
^ Hmm, pard has a club suit too? Lets try Blackwood here...
*** Pard has three aces, that's good news we have them all...
so now I can ask for kings.
^^ Hmm, missing one ace, better stop in small slam.
**** No, no, no - partner can't possibly have 3 kings because
*I* have 3 kings. Obviously he has taken things into his own
hands. If he thinks he can make 6NT when he is missing 3
kings, imagine his delight when I bid 7NT!!!
Yeah! We made it .... wow, top board!! Well done, pard!!
Perhaps this could also be called the Surprise Convention.
Partner thinks you are playing Blackwood, but you are really
playing Gartner/Perry - a great little convention for your bridge
repertoire!
Note: There are two important parts to a message:
#1 The sending, and #2 The receiving
p.191. 25 Bridge Conventions You Should Know
How this came about.....
During a recent mentoring program at our bridge club one
mentor/mentee partnership particularly enjoyed each others'
company. The mentor is a distinguished elderly gentleman
with a lot of skill at making new players feel comfortable, yet
also imparting words of wisdom. To thank him for his efforts
on her behalf his mentee wrote him this little note after their
allotted four games were done. This hand took place during
their second game together, and gave everyone at the table
a good laugh. Imagine the mentor's surprise a week later
when his protege handed him a carefully typed sheet of paper
with their new convention written out! He carries it around
proudly in his wallet and shows it to all his partners.
******************************
We're also featuring wonderful 'counterpoint' articles from
Kaltica and Moogal, in response to last month's article by
Wintaka.
First Kaltica
-----------------
'Tica Talks 'Taka
In last month's Fireside Chat Bill "Wintaka" Treble
wrote about some of the differences in our styles. I
agree with all of the points he made, but would like to
add some counterpoint.
1) A 'Tica is an overcaller, and a 'Taka is a balancer.
This is undeniably true. Billy once alerted my pass
of my RHO's 1C opening bid. When asked its meaning Billy
shrugged and said: "I don't know. I've never seen him
do this before!" :)
2) A 'Tica defines point count, and a 'Taka focuses on shape
In sharp contrast to the Rule of 20 crowd, 'Tica
always insists on 11 High Card Points for any first or
second seat opening bid. The focus isn't so much on
WHETHER 'Tica bids on shape but WHEN. 'Tica is much
more comfortable bidding LATER than immediately with
a shapely hand that lacks HCPs. This means that 'Tica
will often PASS hands that others would open either at
the one level or, more often, pre-emptively. If 'Taka
hasn't heard from 'Tica by the second or third round,
though, he proceeds under the assumption that Partner
has a 4-3-3-3 moogal. :)
3) 'Taka veers away from 'Tica with opener's one-level rebids.
'Taka's experience with 2/1-GF has left him with
a more jaundiced view of bidding 4-card suits up the
line. 'Tica has tried to rescue him from the dark side,
of course, but so far none of 'Tica's cheap Jedi mind
tricks have done the trick. :(
One distinction that 'Taka didn't mention in this
context is our style after a *non-forcing* 1-level reply.
In standard methods, this would come whenever Responder
is a passed hand. Without a very sound 14+ count 'Tica
will pass any 1-level response (e.g. Pass:1D:1S:Pass).
'Taka, on the other hand, sometimes insists on rebidding
on hands that 'Tica might not open in the first place.
This comes dangerously close to violating Ward Rule #111:
"One psyche per hand!" :)
A few differences that Billy didn't mention:
4) Tempo: A 'Taka bids deliberately; a 'Tica quickly
Sometimes 'Taka comes over and sits in for a hand
or two opposite Moogal. This fooled Jan for a while
but now she can tell *during the auction of the very
first hand* who is really partnering her.
5) Invites: A 'Tica's invites are psyche checks
'Taka adopts a very mainstream approach to invites.
'Tica adopts a surprisingly CONSERVATIVE -- yes, I said
CONSERVATIVE -- approach to invitations. 1H:2H will
often be a respectable 10-count, and 'Tica sometimes
passes Pard's opening bid with a mediocre 6-count.
'Taka does not share 'Tica's extreme and possibly
irrational phobia of minuses in uncontested auctions.
6) 'Taka is a golden glove fielder,
'Tica has butterfingers
'Taka has learned from bitter experience to show
his values ONCE and then shut up. 'Tica, on the other
hand, has been guilty of more than a few "hearing aid"
bids. If you spot 'Taka calling 'Tica "Hogie" he is
referring to the Tumbleweeds comic character "Hogarth
Hemp", the hangman. The reference invariably comes
after 'Tica has punished 'Taka for daring to make a
'Tica style overcall. The reference is not flattering. :)
7) 'Taka is a brilliant opening leader,
We sacrifice whenever 'Tica is on lead. :)
One of 'Tica's leads once cost our side ELEVEN
tricks. When Declarer asked: "What are your leads?"
'Taka retorted: "Fourth best." "Fourth best?" asked
Declarer for confirmation. "Yup," 'Taka spat back
disgustedly, "A Spade, Heart or Club would all have
been better but, oh, no, 'Tica had to lead a Diamond.
Hence, fourth best." :(
8) 'Tica proposes innovations, 'Taka refines them
The Canadian Club that these two play makes
brain surgery look like Parcheesi. Each blames
the other for this state of complexity. Given the
number of eccentricities in their system, they
both might be right. :)
9) 'Taka bids IMPs, but plays Matchpoints,
'Tica bids MPs, but plays IMPs.
Regardless of the form of game, 'Taka concentrates
on his strength: card play. He is very comfortable
being in the same contract as the field, winning by a
small margin based largely on overtricks. 'Tica, on
the other hand, competes aggressively for part scores
at any form of the game and shows callous disregard
for where the field has come to rest. This reflects
the fact that while 'Taka is strongest either on
defence or as Declarer; 'Tica's strength is as Dummy. :)
10) 'Taka plays his partner, 'Tica plays the opponents
'Taka is the ideal partner. 'Tica is the ideal opponent. :)
******************************
Now we hear from Moogal:
------------------------------------
I'm going to add my two cents in here too. I might be the
best one to pass judgment on this topic, as I play with
them both. I can tell a 'Tica from a 'Taka every time!
By the bidding styles? Well, sometimes, but that isn't the
main difference.
A 'Tica types perfectly, using capitalization and punctuation
(maybe the only one on OKB); A 'Taka isn't quite as bad as I
am, who has yet to type a capital letter or a comma in the
chat bar, but closer to me than to Colin. When I see "good
luck janice," the only proper reply is "ty billy".
A 'Tica smiles with a curve :), a 'Taka is curly :}
A 'Tica bids quickly and confidently every single turn, a
'Taka is a 'thoughful' bidder, translation s-l-o-w! Playing
with 'Taka taught me all I know about bidding after a pause,
allowing me to become personally acquainted with the TD's
(and a new term UI). I always thought I was a slow bidder...
Billy has even me beat. It's amazing that we ever finish
a 26 board tourney together! And it isn't because he has
trouble with the bids (my excuse), he is just doing 1000
things at once! I have threatened to come over there
(ok, it might be a tad far) and unplug his phone! So when
I have the urge to type "you there pd?" it's 'Taka night.
Should I be playing with a 'Taka when the opps open
2C, I can plan on defending with the killing opening lead
from pard. To a 'Tica, a bid of 2C by the opps is a
transfer, to *his* bid!
Can you tell who my pard was on this hand? :)
IMPs west
Vul: E-W S Q32
H JT63
D K862
C 43
south north
Pard Moogal
S 7654 S J
H 82 H 754
D QT4 D J975
C JT82 C Q9765
east
S AKT98
H AKQ9
D A3
C AK
Pairs Board 22
Dlr: East
south west north east
Pard Opp Moogal Opp
2C
2S pass pass X
3C pass pass X
pass 3H pass 3NT
(all pass)
Opening Lead: CJ
Result: +7
Score: 720, IMPs: -11.41
Playing time: 3:54
No surprise our opps often say now,
"no negative doubles against this pair" on 'Tica
days.
Waiting for my partner to arrive? A 'Tica doesn't
own a calendar; a 'Taka doesn't own a watch. Speaking
of time, if it is morning, 'tis a 'Taka.
And the most telling item: you all know that a
'Tica can't live without his OKScript. What you
may not know unless you have specced us is
that he has added a button with what I call the Demon
Macro: "We'll talk about this one later, Janice."
At least when 'Taka sits down, I don't have to reply
"I am busy later" :)
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Speaking of groaners..... Believer will take the blame for this
one:
GROANER OF THE DAY:
I was driving down a lonely country road
one cold winter day when it began to sleet
pretty heavily. My windows were getting
icy and my wiper blades were badly worn
and quickly fell apart under the strain.
Unable to drive any further because of the
ice building up on my front window I
suddenly had a great idea. I stopped and
began to overturn large rocks until I
located two very lethargic hibernating
rattle snakes. I grabbed them up, straightened
them out flat and installed them on my blades
and they worked just fine.
What! You've never heard of... wind chilled vipers?
=================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
====================
Short Snappers
July of this year will mark the twenty-fifth anniversary
of my first game of duplicate bridge here in Winnipeg. It's
been an exhilirating time, having charted new territory and
broadening my horizons but not without a few bumps and
detours along the way. It's true that I've had some moments of
frustration and complete bewilderment, but have met some
wonderful and charming people, traveled to places I might
otherwise have never gone to, and had the breathtaking feeling
on occasion of having scaled the mountain and ascended to a
summit that I never dreamed was possible....only to go tumbling
down the next time I went out to play.
The title for this article is borne of a quiz show called
"Reach for the Top" that was on TV when I was growing up.
Each high school in the western region of my province would
send a four-person team to compete against each other in an
elimination tournament. In my senior year, I was fortunate
enough to represent my school in the event. During the half hour
program, we'd have five-minute segments in which the questions
dealt with a particular topic, such as art, music, science, etc.
In the final stages, the commentator would pepper us with a
random assortment of questions that he called "short snappers".
So here we go:
1) Decide what level you think you are capable of achieving,
develop your game in a way that you can play effectively against
that caliber of opposition, and DO NOT DEVIATE appreciably from
that style. I have seem many players take silly risks in a club
game because they know they can get away with a few indiscretions.
They invariably say, "Of course, I would never do that in a
tougher event." But you know what? Once you fall into bad habits,
they are hard to shed, and my friends DO in fact commit the same
indiscretions against stiffer competition. In contrast, I will
play the same general style in a club game that I would in the
Blue Ribbon Pairs. As a result, I maybe get a second or third
in the local duplicate game knowing that I could have probably
scored higher if I was doing a bit more shaking and baking.
However, disciplining my game yields benefits when I play in
the events I really care about, as I usually enjoy some degree
of success in them.
2) When you play against top-flight opposition, don't try to
outfox them. Let's say you are racking up the wins in a Swiss
teams event at your local sectional and are now matched up
against one of the perennial stalwarts in the next-to-last
match. In this situation, the worst tactic is to try something new
and go off on a tangent. You played good bridge to ascend
to the top rung of the standings, just keep plugging along and
see what happens. Yes, they ARE the favourites, but you are
playing against flesh and blood. They don't make a lot of errors,
but are not infallible and are capable of losing if you don't
offer them any "free" boards. Savor the moment of playing against
a good team, DON'T run scared, and make it tough for them by
playing a steady game, instead of making the result a near
certainty in their favour by indulging in a crap shoot. Even if
you DO get lucky, you will NOT have impressed them nor
will you have made any REAL strides in your game.
3) Try and avoid "tunnel vision" in discussing hands with your
partner and/or the opponents. You may have a sincere and
heartfelt belief in the proper course of action, but you MAY be
off base and by closing your mind to other opinions and views
you forfeit the opportunity to evaluate the point of contention
in a new light. Your peers have, like you, had their moments in
the sun, so listen carefully to what they are saying before
engaging in a rush to judgment
4) On the flip side, some players tend to latch onto a new
bidding idea and just add it to their convention card without
much consideration about its merit. The end result may well
be a jigsaw puzzle of bulky components that don't really
mesh instead of a tight and logical SYSTEM that can handle
most of the challenges that are posed to you during the course
of a game. So in conjunction with the previous item, LISTEN
as much as possible and then EVALUATE what you have heard to
see if it fits into your "comfort zone".
5) Over the years a lot of people have approached me with
hands and have asked me what the "right" bid is. Sometimes
I can answer fairly readily what I would do, but there are
some hands that don't lend themselves to an absolute,
definitive answer. Say for example you hold:
S A4
H 73
D AK10964
C AK10
You start off with 1D and partner responds 1S. The rebid
for opener is a real headache, and nothing really adequately
describes the hand. 3D is an underbid, 2NT is a huge
distortion of the hand pattern and says NOTHING about the
6-card diamond suit, 3C DOES show a game forcing and
unbalanced hand but opener doesn't have the expected length
in his second suit. A jump to 3NT typically would show a
running diamond suit with stoppers in the unbid suits. So
nothing is perfect by any means with this collection, and
there is no absolute, carved in stone reply to the question
"What is the right bid?" I in fact rebid 3C, but think after
some reflection that a 3NT rebid probably the least of evils.
Opener doesn't have the Q of diamonds to give him a running
suit, but the wealth of aces and kings probably compensate.
This hand is merely an illustration that bridge is essentially
NOT a black and white game, but an endeavour permeated by
various shades of gray.
6) Remember what "heat" you are in and play accordingly.
Zia Mahmood in "Bridge My Way", described three distinct
states of mind that a bridge player will generally experience.
The first is when EVERYTHING you are doing is working like
a charm. The second is when you are having ups and downs,
some good results along with the occasional fiasco. The
dreaded "third" heat is when virtually every one of your
decisions blows up in your face. His advice is when are
in Heat #1, go with Carpe Diem and seize the day, the table
is yours and ride it for all it is worth. Always try and
make your presence felt. In Heat #2, just play your usual
style and grind it out the best you can. But when you are
in Heat #3, try and steer the decisions over to your partner.
No matter how hard you try to reverse your fortunes, it just
isn't working today and things will only get worse regardless
of what tack you embark on. Maybe partner is more in the
groove than you are and can take the steering wheel and
point your side in the right direction.
Anyway, the "snappers" weren't quite as short as on "Reach For
The Top," but hopefully there are some insights and advice
that you might find useful.
*************************
You can write to Wintaka (Bill Treble) at:
btreble@escape.ca
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions
on Tuesdays at 11:00 A.M. OKbridge time, and on
alternating Saturdays at 11:00 A.M. OKbridge time.
Wintaka and Kaltica present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series),
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Bill (btreble@escape.ca) or
Colin (cpw@escape.ca) for more information.
==============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pooka for these one-liners:
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood
alcohol content.
Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to
live with.
I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them
get elected.
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes,
make Bloody Mary's.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been giving
me lately!
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've stayed alive.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
for Miss America?
Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage
disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in
this world.
Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
=================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Organizer?
**********
"The organizing was top rate," Tuna said of our
first annual Gator tournament on OKBridge. This
compliment was, of course, intended for all of the
organizers: Laura's bookkeeping, Sara's publication
efforts, Jan's pairings and my own role as webmaster
and reporter. I was particularly pleased to hear this
in light of my last -- and what I had resolved would be
my very last -- organizational endeavour. Brace
yourself for the gruesome details.
The year was 1972. Yes, 30 years ago. Almost
to the very day, in fact. The Ontario Chess
Federation made the mistake of locating the annual
provincial chess championship in our home town of
North Bay. Compounding this error, our local club
president, Ken Stange, drew straws to see who the
organizer and head Director would be. Had someone
else drawn the short straw they might be telling
this story now.
Things started off on a funny note. A very
well known internationalist graced us with his
presence. Heads turned. Look who's here! We'll
call this expert "Ivan Grasalichuksliowski" (not
his real name) and state politely that this
character was not known for his modesty.
"I'd like to register for your tournament,"
Mr. Grasalichuksliowski announced.
Unintimidated by the presence of a grandmaster
our registrant, Don Rennick, asked: "Name?"
"My name is...", retorted the man indignantly,
"Ivan Grasalichuksliowski!"
Don Rennick did not bat an eye.
"Will that be the novice section then, sir?"
Four people, including Ken Stange and myself,
immediately collapsed onto the floor laughing.
In those days chess (and bridge) tourneys
never started on time. The entire event would be
held up as late entrants streamed in. I announced
that *this* tourney would start *on time*. True
to my word, I paired up all of those who arrived
on time and play began. Any latecomer -- who as a
group comprised almost half the field -- would be
paired with the next player who walked in the door.
This revolutionary "innovation" was greeted
with outrage by the players -- especially those who
were themselves directors. They derisively dubbed
this the "Ward system" and demanded that I redo
the pairings to include all late entrants. I
abjectly refused. When they reiterated their
demands, coupling them with various insults and
threats, I calmly walked over to the tables where
they were supposed to be playing and started their
clocks running. Off they went!
To break the monotony I started a wild poker
game in the TD's room. Try to imagine a game
where *I* am the *sanest* player. The second
sanest was the infamous Gary T. How crazy was
Gary T? Ever hear the expression "the tailor's
son has threadbare clothes, the cobbler's son no
shoes"? Gary T's mother AND father were BOTH
psychiatrists. Got the picture? No? Well, think
in terms of the Monopoly game in the movie "One
Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". Now multiply it by
a factor of ten. Normally, the TD's room is
completely off limits to players. Here, this
sacrosanct rule was amended slightly to allow
entry to anyone with table stakes.
Each round was a repetition of the first,
with myriad complaints from the participants.
I remember one indignant lady storming up to
me and asking in her heavy Serbian accent:
"I would like to know what complicated
reasoning process you used to pair me against
HIM and not HIM?"
"Complicated reasoning process?" I thought.
Where did she get a $5 phrase like that? In
lieu of asking, though, I calmly responded:
"I paired you against HIM rather than HIM
because my 'complicated reasoning process'
landed TAILS."
Strangely, this response did little to
mollify her. Sheesh. Some people are just
never satisfied.
The event was held in a university over a
long weekend. I don't think any rent was being
paid for the facility. In fact, I suspect that
a corrupt janitor may have been involved.
I continued to treat the innumerable complaints
with my customary nonchalance until the soft-spoken,
dignified and patient Lawrence Day came up to me.
Lawrence Day wrote for one of the Toronto newspapers
and stands as one of the great gentlemen of chess.
Think Oswald Jacoby here. I cringed. When one has
messed up badly enough for Lawrence Day to complain,
well, one has *seriously* screwed up.
"Yes, Lawrence?" I asked with trepidation,
any vestige of flippancy suddenly gone from my
tone of voice.
Sheepishly, Lawrence whispered: "There's
no toilet paper in the men's room."
Whew!
"I'll get right on it!" I assured him.
Hmm, where was that corrupt (and now lazy)
janitor?
Far less polite whining from others
continued to plague me throughout the event.
My response? I made up the final pairings,
wrote "Complainants will please form an orderly
lineup in front of the TD's table" at the bottom
and posted them...on the last piece of toilet
paper in the building.
Oddly, the Ontario Chess Federation did
not hold another championship in my home town
until they had an affidavit in their hands
stating that I had moved out of the province.
Go figure!
Stranger still, when I went to play in
(and, incidentally, win) the Dominion Day
Amateur Open in Toronto just two months
later the very TDs who had mocked the "Ward
system" were -- you guessed it -- pairing late
entrants against each other. It is now the
de facto standard for all such events,
including OKBridge tournaments. As Ken
Stange later said of the innovation:
"Well, Ward, you were an idiot. But at
least you were a PIONEERING idiot!" :)
What is next after the FACT and Gator?
Who knows? If you have an idea for an event
or a comment about the FACT or Gator, please
let us know. In this brave new world of
online play, perhaps we are all "pioneering
idiots". :)
*************************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Kaltica and Wintaka present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series),
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Colin (cpw@escape.ca) or
Bill (btreble@escape.ca) for more information.
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Mindy for this one:
The irony of the rat race explained....
A boat docked in a tiny Jamaican village. An American tourist
complimented the Jamaican fisherman on the quality of his fish
and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long Mon," answered the Jamaican.
"Well then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the
American.
The Jamaican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet
his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a nap
with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my
friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs...
I have a full life."
The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can
help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can
then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can
buy a bigger boat.
With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a
second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire
fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man,
you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe
even open your own plant.
You can then leave this little village and move to Miami, Los
Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct
your huge enterprise."
How long would that take?" asked the Jamaican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the
American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can
start selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions Mon? Really? And then?"
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the
coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take
naps with your wife, and spend your evenings playing guitar and
enjoying your friends."
======================================================