FIRESIDE CHAT JUNE 2002
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Guido's Really Important Stuff
Pomo's Pointers
This is Your Captain Speaking
Just Jill
Dealing With Dann
Moogal's FireSide Log
Bob's Bits
Mezzie Lends a Hand
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the June, 2002 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at Moocake@aol.com.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
Please remember that the Bridgementor-L mail list
is available for discussions of bridge topics,
and, more importantly, as a forum in which you can
find immediate answers to your bridge questions.
To join, go to www.bridgementor.com and click on the
link for the discussion list.
OKbridge also offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
You can now find our "FireSide Chat" posted at two
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You can go to Okbridge's website:
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FireSide also provides us with a "hand of the week"
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to check out the fun.
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===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MONDAY 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MONDAY 5:30 P.M. BRIDGBOY
TUESDAY 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUESDAY 8:00 P.M. CAPTAIN
WEDNESDAY 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WEDNESDAY 5:30 P.M. MEZZIE/WISHTRIK
THURSDAY 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THURSDAY 5:30 P.M. PAMA
FRIDAY 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRIDAY 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
SATURDAY 11:00 A.M. WINTAKA/CAPTAIN
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@aol.com, or
Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2002 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Hi everybody :-)
Well, summer's finally here, school's almost out, and I'm
really looking forward to doing some traveling this summer.
Of course, we have to survive Senior Prom, Graduation, and
various grad parties first... wish us luck!
I didn't know what I was going to write about this month,
seems deadline crept up on me this time. I am finally done
with the temp job I was doing, but I feel I've been playing
catch up ever since I worked my last day. I *think* I'm
finally getting back into some kind of a routine here...
I hope!
Anyway, I received the following piece in my email today
from Jill (justjill) Wilson, and I just really love it. I
don't know who the author is, but I hope whoever it is doesn't
mind my sharing it with you. I think it's a pretty amazing
collection of words. I hope it has meaning for you, too.
********************
"The Awakening"
A time comes in your life when you finally get
it... when, in the midst of all your fears and
insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere
the voice inside your head cries out... ENOUGH! Enough
fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold
on.
Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you
blink back your tears and begin to look at the world
through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change, or for happiness, safety and
security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren't always
fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily
ever after" must begin with you... and in the process
a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and
that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They
are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself... and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the
things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and
you learn that the only thing you can really count on
is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean
or mean what they say and that not everyone will
always be there for you and that everything isn't
always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of
yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and
security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to
accept people as they are and to overlook their
shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process
a sense of peace and contentment is born of
forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different
points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining
who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values
you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating
and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and
integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era,
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not
your job to save the world and that you can't teach a
pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is
the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get
burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at
relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You learn that alone does not mean
lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and
outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings
aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You
begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You
begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and
take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and
uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And,
just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life
what you believe you deserve, and that much of life
truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to happen
is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline and
perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all
alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear
itself. You learn to step right into and through your
fears because you know that whatever happens you can
handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the
right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander
it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't
always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people... and you learn not to always take it
personally.
You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything
isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life
happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and
to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy
and resentment must be understood and redirected or
they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the
universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted, things that
millions of people upon the earth can only dream
about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by
yourself and you make yourself a promise to never
betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less
than your heart's desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can
listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand,
you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the
life you want to live as best you can.
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A big thanks to JustJill for this giggle:
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West
riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse
pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a
riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans
down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse
into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other
side and jumps onto the other horse.
Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was all that
about?" He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going
through."
=============================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
Seeing the Cards
Most of your plays on defense can be very logical, based on the
picture you develop during the bidding and early play by
declarer. We assume that the object of the game is to find out
who has what cards (without peeking!) and to fill in the 52 piece
puzzle around the table. The more cards we see, the better our
chances are that we will make the winning plays.
As we improve and are able to see more of the unseen hands in our
mind's eye, we will be able to find more winning defensive plays.
Now the theme is to ask ourselves: why did declarer do that? We
assume declarer is not a fool -- we might hope so, but he has
consented to play against us so declarer can't be all bad! :)
Here is a classic hand that will emphasize this theme. You pick
up:
S 92
H 82
D KQJ10643
C 107
and you hear the following auction:
RHO You LHO Pard
1C 3D X P 3S
P 4S (all pass)
You lead the king of diamonds, and dummy comes down with:
S QJ74
H AQJ97
D 75
C Q9
We do our thinking and see potential for some tricks, but nothing
clear-cut yet. The first trick goes 5, 9, ace. Now comes the ace
of spades, and then a low spade to the queen, partner winning the
king. And back comes the second diamond from partner.
Time for our thinking caps please. The first question you have
is why did declarer play as he did? It would seem logical to
cross to dummy to finesse the spade, expecting the king to be
onside, so why not? And then it dawns on you that there is no
quick entry to the table, perhaps. So now that changes
everything! Declarer is 4-0-2-7, and probably lacks the 10 of
spades also because declarer did not even try to get to the dummy
in clubs. That being the case, and believing your logical
conclusion, you win the diamond from partner and lead a third
diamond, giving the dreaded ruff and sluff but knowing you just
created a trump uppercut for partner if things were as you
logically believed. Partner did in fact ruff with the 10 of
spades and then triumphantly cash the club ace for a well
deserved down one! There was no other defense to beat the hand.
Declarer was in fact 4-0-2-7 as you thought, and would have made
this hand had you not given the ruff and sluff.
There is another point in this hand which makes it interesting.
Declarer has a diamond loser no matter what, and should duck the
first trick to cut the communications between the two hands in
that suit. This common hold up play is missed far too often by
declarers. If you have a loser, lose it early while you still
have control of the hand.
Always be filling in that 52 piece puzzle, because you never know
when the alarm clock will go off, and you need to be awake all
the time to find that winning defensive play!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:30 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Wheels for this one:
WE GATHER!
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great
expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world,
I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the
wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the
world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a
smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365:
"Shall We Gather at the River."
=====================================================
GUIDO'S REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF
===============================
Count and Suit Preference Signals
Taking advice from me on how to improve your defense might seem
rather odd. When I pay attention, I can occasionally bid
reasonably well. All my partners know enough to keep me off
play, but they are not always successful in keeping me off
defense. In a certain way, this makes me an expert on defense
for the disoriented.
First, let's review standard American defensive signals
(signaling is following to a trick you are not trying to win).
In most situations, North Americans show attitude (high shows you
like the suit and low shows you do not like it). There are
exceptions to this, of course, and therein lies part of the
problem. When do you give count rather than attitude? When do
you give suit preference rather than something else? Expert,
well-integrated partnerships usually (not always) get this
right...but what does that have to do with you and me?
I suggest changing this around to ... When following to a trick
you are not trying to win, signal count. Signal High-Low to show
an even number; signal Low-High to show an odd number.
What are the advantages: 1) Both you and your partner always
know what the signal means. 2) It is often difficult to
determine what your attitude towards a particular suit should be.
Even I, however, can usually tell whether I started with an even
or odd number of cards in the suit. 3) Count is often more
useful, or as useful, as attitude.
There are disadvantages: 1) Sometimes attitude is more
important. Yes, but I am not usually good enough to know when
this is true. 2) Most of your partners will want to play
attitude.
Should there ever be exceptions to giving count? Yes and no.
Yes, there are times when it is better to show suit preference
(Example: trump contract; singleton or void in dummy; several
trumps in dummy). Yes there are times when attitude is better
-- this is when count is obvious due to the bidding (example:
1N-2C;2S-3N;4H -- declarer is known to have four spades, you and
your partner can see dummy; therefore there is no need to signal
spade count). However, any exceptions should be clearly and
firmly agreed to by the partnership. Without a firm agreement,
the signal should always be count.
When discarding, I suggest the signal be suit preference. You
can handle this is several ways:
1) Traditional: High card = I like this suit; Low card = I
don't like this suit. The problem here is that you might not
have a high card when you need one (or a low card for that
matter).
2) Upside-down: High card = I don't like this suit; Low card =
I like this suit. This is better than Traditional because you
are more likely to be able to spare a high card from a suit you
don't want led.
3) Lavinthal: High card = I like the next higher suit; Low
card = I like the next lower suit. The trump suit is excluded
from scheme and the suits are considered to be "in a circle."
example: Spades are trumps and your first discard is a high
heart. This asked for the next higher non-trump suit, which is
Clubs (suit rank is considered to be C-D-H-C). Advantage is that
you will almost always have the card you need; disadvantage is
that you have to say you like something.
4) Roman (aka Odd-Even). An odd spot card says you like the
suit you discard. A low even card says you like the lower
non-trump suit (the suits are NOT in a circle) and a high odd
card says you like the higher non-trump suit. Advantages and
disadvantages are similar to Lavinthal. I prefer this method
as the chances of having a "right" card to play are greater.
One word of warning if you decide to use Lavinthal or Roman.
These signals are subject to UI (Unauthorized Information).
You go out to lunch and finally discard a low spade. Whatever a
low spade is supposed to mean, you have made it clear to your
partner that you don't really want to give that signal. If you
can not play such signals in tempo AT ALL TIMES, do not play
that. Also note that these signals are used for the first
discard only.
******************************
You can email Guido at: paulfriedman@attbi.com
================================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A good one from Luc :-) thanks, Lucy!
Coldwater Clean
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a secluded,
rural area of the state. After spending the night, his
grandfather prepared a breakfast for him of eggs and bacon. He
noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and he asked his
grandfather, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied,
“Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on
and finish your meal.”
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made
for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate
and a substance that looked like dried egg yolk. So, he asked
again, “Are you sure these plates are clean?” Without looking up
from his hamburger, the grandfather snapped, “I told you before,
those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them! Now don't
ask me about it anymore!”
Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a
nearby town. As he left the house Grandfather's dog started to
growl at him and would not let him pass. He called out,
“Grandfather! Your dog won't let me out.”
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was
watching, Grandfather shouted, “COLDWATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY!”
===============================================================
POMO'S POINTERS
================
EVALUATION
Evaluation of your values is the key to bidding well. If you
don't appreciate the worth or lack of worth of the high cards
held, then you may never bid better than a poor computer program
that only counts (4-3-2-1) points. Bidding with balanced hands
opposite balanced hands requires little more than exchanging
point count information to judge the level of the final contract.
As soon as some suit fit and distribution creeps in we must
adjust our thinking drastically. Ruffing value is a great source
of tricks using no high cards, just trumps. When does my hand
change in value? With every bid made at the table, partner's AND
opponents bids! A King in the opponents overcalled suit is
likely to be either a near sure winner, or loser, depending on
your position relative to the bidder.
When partner has shown two long suits, look carefully at your
holdings in those suits. Any honors in partner's suits help fill
out those suits and secondary honors (Q or J) in other suits are
worth very little or nothing. Giving you a formula for changing
the point count would be futile, since each hand is slightly
different - thank God! Use your imagination and try to visualize
partner's possible hand, then think how your hand helps (or not)
in taking tricks.
S Q4
H Q975
D A65
C 8743
Not much of a hand! Suppose partner opens with 1S, and
over your 1NT response, he jumps to 3H. Your hand is
getting better by the second! You should bid 4D - not a
suit but a cue bid. Your three honors are perfect and
slam is a realistic possibility. Only 8 points, my eye!
Would you rather have:
S 43
H 9753
D KQ85
C KQ4
10 points. Worth far less than the 8 above. Bid 4H -
slam is remote due to the location of your high cards.
Judging your hand, prior to any bidding, requires you to count
the points (partner may ask!) and mainly to inspect the location
of the high cards (10's and 9's are high cards in long suits
with higher honors). If all (or most) of the honors are in the
longer suits, the hand is better than when the opposite is true.
S AK8642 S 987642
H 4 H A
D A964 D 9642
C 65 C AK
These hands have identical high cards and shape.
Are they equal? No chance! Honors in long suits
make the hand far more playable. With any kind of
raise (S) on the first hand - we bid game!
The conclusion is that honors in our long suits OR partners
long suits are vastly superior to honors in the shorter suits
or the opponents suits (good for defense). Extreme shortness
in partner's second suit is a great asset for ruffing tricks
and helping to establish the second suit using those ruffs.
You can email Pomo at: reisig@oco.net
======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for these "points to ponder"
Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they
already know everything.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the
end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have
come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the
first.
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers
exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will
instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more
bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states
that this has already happened.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?
=================================================
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING
=============================
Declaring
Unlocking the secret of making a suit contract...just answering
two questions could be the key to your success!!
I can hear you wailing "How can I make this hand?". Sound play
techniques are often the same, regardless of the contract! If you
come to me with a declarer play problem, I will tell you -
without seeing the hand - to ask yourself these questions:
Question #1
Is there a long suit that could be developed in dummy for a
source of tricks?
If the answer is 'yes' to this question: Immediately set out
on the task of leading this long suit, using dummy's trumps for
drawing trumps, and as entries for leading that long suit, and
not for ruffing if possible (you need to retain some trump
length to pull any remaining trump after your long suit is set
up.)
If answer was 'no' to the last question, now ask yourself this
question:
Question #2
Will I be needing dummy's trumps for ruffing?
If answer is 'yes' to this question: Immediately set out on the
task of ruffing this suit.
If answer is 'no' to the last question: Draw trumps
immediately!
Now all this sounds like it is too simple, and yes, you still
must always consider suit play techniques such as leading
towards a KQJx, and to avoid leading the King, for instance.
Looking at a specific hand, you will be able to determine which
of these principles needs to be applied. Further, I will be
the first to admit that it is "generalizing," but strangely
enough if you were to always ask these question and act
accordingly, your declarer play will probably improve 3- or
4-fold, as these principles cover good declarer play in about 90%
of hands. And even more importantly, *not* following these
principals covers about 75% of declarer errors in playing suit
contracts.
So put a stickie on your computer with a big question mark on
it -- a reminder to mentally answer these questions before you
play the first card the next time you are declarer! Let me know
how many matchpoints you pick up! :)
*************************
You will find Captain (Andy Anderson) doing his FireSide
sessions on Tuesday evenings, at 8:00 P.M. OKbridge time,
and every other Saturday at 11:00 A.M.
Captain is a full time instructor on OKbridge, offering
group or individual lessons for anyone ranging from novice
to advanced players.
Email Andy for more information - andy@imagewireless.ca
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
This giggle comes from Tuna:
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made
my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked
the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire..."
==================================================
JUST JILL
=========
Learning a New Language
Bridge is like a language that I must learn to speak
Finding strange new meanings to common words like "weak"
Certain *bids* are "artificial", saying things in code
Other bids are "natural" -- I think I might explode!
"Cuebids" and "reverses" and a "weak jump overcall"
"Stayman" and "Jacoby" and this thing called "Lebensohl"
Baffled by the choices, things I can and can't recall,
How does *anyone* learn how to play this game at all?!
Trying to develop certain instincts for the game,
Learning that for MPs versus IMPs they're not the same;
Guessing when to wing it versus when to play it cool;
Knowing that, no matter what, there is no Golden Rule!
Sometimes when I find myself employing certain terms,
I have to stop and giggle 'cuz I know what it affirms...
The more I play, the more I learn, and sometimes things
just stick;
Wasn't it just yesterday when I could not say "trick"?
[(c)Copyright 2002 by Jill Wilson]
********************
You can email Jill at ilovechocolate@earthlink.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Another great one from Benson:
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots
of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by
a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" A girl
in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy
dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles.
When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said,
while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are
beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing
that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his
grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
===========================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
==================
The Correct Bid or The Right Bid?
If you have attended many of my sessions, you realize that
I feel that one of the most important things about bridge
is "partner".
Without a good partner, the game is not as enjoyable -- so
keep that in mind when you want to tell them what you think
they did wrong. Sometimes, when pard tries to explain our
errors, we realize our fatal error of the day was agreeing
to play with a partner who has to tell us about any errors
that we committed.
So keep an open mind, and expect the same from a good pard.
One of my favorite quotes from when I started playing bridge
some 15 years ago still rings true every time someone asks
me, "What's the right bid with this hand?"
BIG JOHN ANDERSON, an ACBL tournament pro at that time
explained this to me:
There are usually at least 2 answers to that question:
1) the CORRECT bid -- that's the one that wins those
bidding contests, and
2) the RIGHT bid -- that's the bid that wins at the
table.
So, when you receive a pause before I answer that question,
you now know why -- I'm trying to decide which answer you
want, and reflecting on big John's wisdom in his answer
given to me some 15 years ago.
Just something else to think about before we point out our
pard's mistakes -- especially if it's in the bidding. Maybe
pard was trying to win the bidding contest, or perhaps we
were just at the wrong table.
Until next month, good bridging
POOKA
*******************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m.
OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: Dann-Kramer@shaw.ca
===================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Mindy for this one:
What Kids Say
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I
noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.
"Is that your grandmother?" I asked.
"Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."
"How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her,
we just go out there and get her."
================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
======================
OKB Tourney News
Sun May 5 11:00 2002
Rank Team Score Boards
2 psyche/y_az 2.00 24
3 hamilton/tuna 1.91 26
A fine result for our favorite fishie and Fred Hamilton
(inventor of the defense to 1NT openings known as
Hamilton, or Cappelletti), but a big *yay* to our friend
Nina (PSYCHE) and her pard for an even BETTER result!
Well done!
**********************************************************
Novice Mentor Tourney
Congrats to Raija and Yehia, winners of this month's
Fifth Chair Novice Mentor Tourney!
Our top finishers:
Rank Team Score
1 raija/yehia 61.20
2 Patricia/schammy 60.09
3 gandalf/jundith 58.90
4 ejfree/tarsh 56.61
5 andyrose/rclough 56.60
6 AndyEdw/Sue1 54.81
7 raven99/Tom-V 54.06
8 deeb1232/robken 51.22
9 MrFrog/virgil 51.08
10 groovyb/knife 50.81
11 JustABoz/Mafalda 50.28
12 julieb/song 50.07
Mentors and novices, join us this month on the 13'th!
Email me at moocake@aol.com or Sandra (SANDREE) at
sandree@attbi.com if you would like to find a partner
ahead of time. We'll do our best to match you up!
I promise you a fun evening. :)
**********************************************************
Mentor Cup Team Game:
May 19: Team TUNA: Tuna, Tellon, Elvee and Neophyte
Well done to all of you and to our other top
finishers -- see who they are on our webpage at:
www.firesides.net/mtc.htm
Mentor Cup Team Games in June will be held on the
Sundays of June 2, 16, and 30, at 8:00 P.M. PST.
Email me at Moocake@aol.com to get on the reminder
list for these games. All welcome!
***************************************************************
Fireside IMP League
The IMP League kicked off this week with eight teams vying for
our very own team championship! We all had a good time in a
friendly but let's- do-our-best competition, and we were happy
in the knowledge that we were supporting Fireside at the same
time. The good news is that it isn't too late to join in the fun!
Contact Sara at sarastobbe@aol.com if you would like to enter a
team in either the Tuesday 5PM division, or the Wednesday 8AM
one.
Not only do you get to play with and against your favorite
Fireside friends, but you get emailed commentary after the game
of selected instructive hands. Here is a sample, from Colin, our
'director' of the week, using a disaster that Eric and I had (and
Andre and JanetE avoided!) as a basis for a great lesson:
IMPs north TN.IMP Board 3
Dlr:South etsand
Vul:E-W S K west north east south
H KQ84 pama etsand DeniseB moogal
D AJT
C JT854 1S
west east pass 2C pass 2S
pama DeniseB pass 3H pass 4C
S T93 S J864 pass 5C (all pass)
H T97632 H A
D KQ4 D 98532 Opening Lead: D3
C A C 963 Result: -2
south Score: -100, IMPs: -11.00
moogal Playing time: 7:14
S AQ752
H J5
D 76
C KQ72
What happened here? Well, there was a conflict of
styles between Moogal and Etsand. Traditionally, with
6-4 2-suiters, Opener will rebid the cheaper 4-card
suit (e.g. 1S:2C:2D or 2H) only if maximal. Otherwise,
Opener will rebid the 6-carder and THEN the 4-carder.
Hence, Etsand felt that he had to rebid 3H in case N-S
had a 4-4 Heart fit. In *his* mind 2S did NOT deny a
4-card Heart suit.
Moogal adopts the "Impossible Major" approach after
a 2-over-1 response. Yes, after a ONE level response
Opener will rebid the 6-carder if weakish (e.g. 1D:1S:2D
with 6-4 in the minors if in the 13-15 point range), but
NOT after a 2/1 reply. In *her* mind, 1S:2C:2S utterly
denied a 4-card Heart (or Diamond) suit. Why didn't
she raise via 1S:2C:3C? Because Moogal also adopts
the TOOBAD approach. Since 1S:2C:3C is forcing in SAYC,
some will ONLY raise to 3C directly with 16-21 (sort of
like a high level reverse, but a raise). With 13-15,
she "temporized" with 2S and THEN raised Clubs. When
she heard 1S:2C:2S:3H she thought Etsand was showing a
great hand, likely with a LOT of Clubs. "Great," she
thought, "wait until Partner gets a load of my Clubs!"
Imagine her surprise when even FIVE Clubs proved too
high! 11 IMPs away when Andre55 found a 3NT rebid
after the same start: 1S:2C:2S:3H. "Clubs? Moi?
No, I don't have Clubs, Pard." LOL. :)
All the details, including how to enter, scores, standings
and reports are on our website: www.firesides.net/teams.htm.
So don't miss out! Email Sara today!
Interested in the Wednesday session? Expect a surprise if you
sign up....watch for some celebrity players to pop up in those
games!
**************************************************************
Good-bye's and Hello's
We had to say good-bye this month to our favorite dynamic duo,
Richie (POMO) and RAIJA. We thank them for the time and knowledge
they have given us!
We also were thrilled to say welcome back to James (MEZZIE), who
had left us to take a job in Japan. He has come back to the U.S.
to pursue a Ph.D. in linguistics at the University of
Pennsylvania -- our incredibly good luck that he would also have
time to commentate for us again! He is just *super*
...engrossing, enlightening, charming, funny -- OK, I adore
him:)) (Also, James is a talented and entertaining bridge
writer -- check out his article this month!) Now, the sorta bad
news...just as he was settling back in, he was offered a summer
job back in Japan...so off he goes again, *but* with promises to
return in the fall. Whew, good news!
And more good news...we are just *delighted* to announce that
Lynn Deas (WISHTRIK), four-time World Champion (among a gazillion
other titles!), will be joining Fireside! Our luck just continues
to roll! So look for her Wednesday evenings at 5:30 PM, starting
June 19th!
Some Table Manager changes also to report: Sadly, Bob (BOBOWEN),
a mainstay TM for MANY years, one of the 'originals', has had to
resign. He *will* be missed. At the same time, we are tickled to
be adding two new regular TMs to our family...David (DAVIDRG) and
Claire (MERRYGAL). And Sandra (QUEENHRT) will be taking on
duties shortly. Welcome!
**************************************************************
Seen on a card:
May the Lord keep His arm over my shoulder
and His hand over my mouth.
Sara and I are repeating that each night :)))
***************************************************************
Margie (MQ26) of Port St. Lucie came in FIRST PLACE in her
country club's duplicate game, and wanted to thank all the
teachers on OKbridge for helping her so much. She wrote "I have
really improved my play because of you."
Well done, Margie, and all the Fireside commentators appreciate
your kind words.:)
***************************************************************
In case you missed this news flash, you now have an good response
when your family accuses you of playing too much bridge!
-----SAN FRANCISCO -- Playing bridge supercharges your immune
system, helping you to prevent or cure the world's deadliest
diseases -- even AIDS, heart diseases, Alzheimer's and cancer!
That's the finding of a fascinating new study out of the
University of California, Berkeley.
Professor Marian Diamond, who presented the research to the
Society for Neuroscience in New Orleans, said her study could be
the first evidence that the so-called "dorsolateral cortex" --
the part of the brain stimulated by playing bridge -- can
preserve or improve health.
"Contract bridge was ideal for what we were after," Professor
Diamond said.
"Bridge players plan ahead, use memory, deal with sequencing and
perform other higher order functions with which the dorsolateral
cortex is involved."
Researchers found that subjects' white cell count increased after
playing bridge for an hour and a half.
White cells are known to fight diseases and keep the body well.
*******************
Now my own health tip of the day...Want to know how to tell when
you look really really awful?? Well, one day I was feeling truly
wretched and was lying on the couch. My daughter was home from
college, and tends to resent hearing 'wait until I am dummy' or
'tourney is almost over'. (Sound familiar?:)) But this time she
came over to me, took one look, patted my shoulder, and said
"Mom, maybe you would feel better if you played some bridge."
Call the Doc! :)
**************************************************************
"We lost the club suit in the 1950s. Now diamonds are gone,
and hearts are sinking fast." -Edgar Kaplan
Club contracts may be old-fashioned, but they're about to make
a comeback -- at least in June in Richard Pavlicek's contest.
All bridge players are invited to participate in this declarer-
play contest. All you have to do is select a play from the
choices offered on six problems. Try it! It's fun.
The Clubhouse Collection
http://www.rpbridge.net/7v81.htm
Results of his current bidding poll "The Netherland Showdown"
will be posted June 3:
Quiz: http://www.rpbridge.net/7w81.htm
Scores: http://www.rpbridge.net/7w87.htm
Analyses: http://www.rpbridge.net/7w88.htm
And I lifted another fun puzzle from Richard's web site. Each
of these silly phrases is an anagram of a familiar bridge word
or phrase that pertains to bidding. Can you unscramble them?
1. CAVE ROLL
2. BOLD WACKO
3. WOW! BAD KITE
4. DOPY AUNT BELLE
5. TIMID VERB, PEEP
6. AVID JAM FORCERS
7. GET ONE VALUE BID
8. N.T. REBID SLIP
9. MANGLER OF CARDS
Answers at the end of my column...no peeking! :)
**************************************************************
Old news and new news, all good news!
Unfortunately I didn't learn in time for the May Chat that Paul
(PKV) was Angelfish of the Month. So belatedly I offer him
hearty Fireside congrats!! In case you missed it, here is what
our friend Lyn (LYNKOS) wrote in her nomination letter:
"Paul devotes several evenings each week to encourage learning
players. Playing at his table is always a pleasure. He does not
tolerate any critical or disparaging remarks. Undos and skips
are freely given. He is a model of active ethics and
sportsmanship. He offers both praise and gentle suggestions
during the game and often by courtesy email as well. Being an
unofficial mentor does not stop him from treating many lucky
folks, like myself, as an equal and valued friend. OKb is indeed
fortunate to have him as a member."
I had the pleasure of meeting Paul (and Raye -- COSOMO -- his
wife) in Toronto. Tuna makes *fabulous* choices!
The angelic circle continues.....Paul will be turning over his
icon to another deserving OKBer, nominated by Eric (ETSAND) who
turned over *his* angelfish icon to Paul!
Al Kimel of Pennsylvania USA is our Angelfish for June.
Even nominated by an Angelfish!:
"Tony,
"If you follow the OKB Discuss postings you know that Al Kimel
(strider) makes heroic stands for common ground bidding systems.
The entire online community benefits from these efforts to
facilitate strangers in playing an enjoyable short game of bridge
with minimal system discussion. Some commentators continue to
exercise their right to spout bridge nonsense, but Al thoroughly
and patiently counters their posts. To his credit, Al has
refrained from stating what he thinks is best, but rather quotes
established authorities with accurate and extensive
documentation. All the while, he has maintained a politeness and
civility, when often it makes one wonder how this challenge can
be met!
"Please tell folks they can see Al's fine posts or join in the
conversations themselves by scrolling to the bottom of the
OKbridge website.
"Sincerely,
"Eric (etsand)"
***************************************************************
OKB dinner at World Bridge Championship in Montreal!
Get together with your OKB friends and compare notes
on your successes! :)
Sunday, August 25th, 4 PM cash bar, dinner 5-7 PM, at the
Restaurant l'Orchidee Chine, 2017 Peel street. Menu
details will be available shortly, and the cost is expected
to be around $30 US per person. Reservations are required as
space is limited and first come first served! You may be
lucky to be sitting with one of the 'big names' they
anticipate will be attending! Contact EVAM or JOEPATHY
for details or to make a reservation.
If this dinner comes even close to the one I attended in
Toronto, you won't want to miss it! Get in touch with
the organizers as soon as possible if you plan to be
there.
**********************************************************
That's the news for this month! Wish I had more, but I can't make
it up, I need you to send it to me! Here's an idea....this is
graduation time.....I would love to brag for you...let me know
who is the graduate in *your* family and what they will be doing
next. We deserve a little of the glory for surviving :)
Hugs...Janice
*************************************************************
Answers to Pavlicek puzzle:
1. Overcall 2. Blackwood 3. Weak two-bid 4. Penalty double
5. Preemptive bid 6. Five-card majors
7. Negative double 8. Splinter bid 9. Grand slam force
************************************************************
MENTORING SESSIONS
==================
Some of our commentators are offering group mentoring
sessions. This is an easy, fun, and very affordable
way to get both bidding and play instruction with your
partner, friends, or as a single participant. Email
the commentator if you want information on joining
one of the established groups with spots available,
or to discuss a session at your convenience.
Kibitzers are welcome at most sessions.
Watch this spot for future sessions from our other
commentators also!
********************
KALTICA
Colin is currently holding sessions on Mondays, Tuesdays,
Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Email him for more information.
You can contact Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
********************
POOKA
Was anybody's favorite dwarf Bashful? If so...Pooka offers
a "private" group mentoring session, in a hidden table
format, for those who would prefer a closed setting for
their mentoring sessions. Contact Dann at:
dann-kramer@shaw.ca for more information.
*********************************************************
June Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, June 13, 6:00 P.M. A low-key introduction
to the tourney experience, sponsored by Fifth Chair...
see www.fifthchair.org for more info on this and
their other services, including getting a mentor.
MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sunday, 5:00 P.M. June 2, June 16, and June 30.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at moocake@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@aol.com
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Another giggle from Tuna:
A new student walked into our library area and glanced at
the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf.
"What are all these books?" he asked.
Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias.
"Really?" he said. "Someone printed out the whole thing?"
========================================================
BOB'S BITS
==========
Snapdragon Doubles
I have been working with some students on the value of double to
be able to compete. We discuss support doubles and re-doubles,
negative doubles, responsive doubles and snapdragon.
Typically, snapdragon occurs when partner has overcalled, and
the opponents have bid 2 suits. If you play that a new suit now
from partner is forcing as I do, this double can come in very
handy indeed. It usually shows a 5 card suit (the remaining
un-bid suit) and a tolerance for partners overcalled suit, which
helps to keep you out of hot water.
You are in 4'th seat with this hand:
S 9842
H KQ83
D A4
C Q83
Pard You
1C 1D 1S X (snapdragon)
XX 4H X all pass
(re-double was a support call showing 3 spades)
Opening lead is a C9, making short work of your Q. But partner
has a tremendous hand for H’s this time with:
S A
H J1096
D K109873
C 52
This hand makes game with minimal values because of the big H
fit. The hand that jumped to 4H was attempting to jam the
opponents out of what looks like 4S their way and had hoped to
find a 5 card H suit. 4H needs 3-2 trumps and generally 3-2
Diamonds to make, not at all unreasonable really.
This is an excellent tool to have in your bidding arsenal, and
most good pairs make use of this call. I think you and your
favorite partner should read up on this and add it to your
weapons.
************************
You can email Bob at: bobmcphee@hotmail.com
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Andre55 for this giggle :-)
FOREGONE CONCLUSION:
(A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.
(B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also
suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(C) The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.
(D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also
suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans
(E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English
that kills you.
=================================================
MEZZIE LENDS A HAND
===================
Hi everyone. It's nice to be back. My name is James
Mesbur and I had a brief stint as a Fireside
Commentator a while ago. I'm 27 years old and will be
starting a PhD in linguistics at the University of
Pennsylvania this September. This summer I'm going to
be in Japan, but will be back in the fall to pick up
where I left off at Fireside. I spent 3 of the past 5
years in Japan, and had the opportunity to play with
members of Japan's national team, including 2 who took
part in the Bermuda Bowl 2001 in France. I hope to use
my experiences in Japan to help illustrate some of the
basics which we occasionally forget in the heat of
things. I will be introducing several characters whom
I'm sure you all recognize from your own bridge clubs
- bridge personalities abound abroad, too!
General Philosophy
Many players spend far too much time deciding which
conventions to play. This time would be better spent
mastering the basics and hammering out agreements. For
example, what kind of suit will you open a weak 2 on?
Will you open one with a side 3 or 4-card major? With
2 aces? Any difference vul vs not? How about 1st, 2nd
or 3rd seat? Discussing these things will enable you
to visualize your partner's hand much more clearly
when the occasion arises.
Something else I like to stress is to only play
conventions with which you and your partner are VERY
familiar! Until you feel confident with the basics of
forcing vs. limit bids, when to use Blackwood and when
to cuebid, how to re-evaluate your hand in light of
your partner's bids or lack thereof, and so on, there
is no good reason to play the latest gadgets. When
learning a new convention, it helps to know the
follow-up bids and their meanings, when NOT to use the
convention, and how to respond accurately when your
partner uses the convention. Also, what to bid when
the opponents take up bidding space is an important
area of consideration.
In a nutshell, keep it simple. Don't use conventions
as a crutch for solid bidding judgment!
********************
[ Editors Note: The following is a true story, but the names,
location, and some of the details have been changed, for
obvious reasons. Enjoy :-) ]
********************
A "Nice" Partner
"I think we can find a nice partner for you."
Famous last words. I've heard the above phrase
countless times in clubs around the world. Travelling
has its perks, including meeting new people, learning
about different cultures and tasting a myriad of
different cuisines. Occasionally the bridge can be
spicy, too.
Enter Maki Ver Hooven, a wealthy, well-dressed and
beautifully adorned elderly Japanese lady married to a
high-power European businessman. She was to be my
partner for an afternoon session at the club near my
house in Tokyo, Japan.
"What do you play? I play 2/1 with Bergen raises
odd/even discards Rosenkranz Mini/Maxi Unusual NT
reverse Drury reverse Holstein reverse Texas.." This
burst of bridge-speak went on for at least 2 minutes.
I was unable to get in a word edgewise, and resigned
myself to an afternoon of taxing my memory to remember
everything "we" had agreed to play.
A very assertive lady, Maki proceeded to overbid us to
3 games, one of which made, all of which she declared.
When I bid a major, she bid no-trump, when I bid
no-trump, she took me out into her major, even if it
was only 5 cards in length. Defense was no better,
with her pounding away at her suit of choice, ignoring
my signals and blaming me when the opponents made any
contract. Needless to say, I was doing my best to stay
on an even keel and enjoyed chatting with the kindly
folks on my left and right.
Then this hand came along:
Vulnerable vs. not, I sat south and held
S Jxxxx
H T9xx
D Qx
C xx
The bidding proceeded
W N E S
1H 2NT p 3D
3H 4D 4H p
p 5C dbl 5D
p p dbl all pass
My partner's 2NT was for the minors, so I reluctantly
bid 3D, my "better" minor. Happy to hear LHO bid
again, less happy to hear pd bid again, happy again to
hear RHO once again come to our rescue, my stomach
sank when partner found a 3rd bid. Then I realized I
had a beautiful hand in support of partner's apparent
6-6, 7-5, or some such monster minor-suit hand, I
corrected into diamonds, and was mildly surprised to
hear RHO double a second time.
I imagined a dummy such as:
S x
H -
D AKTxxxx
C AKxxx
Or maybe:
S -
H x
D AKJTxx
C KQJTxx
The opening lead came down, and I realized I was
declarer. The following dummy awaited me:
S Qx
H J
D ATxxx
C KJxxx
Slightly shocked, I didn't do terribly well in the
play, managing to go down 7. The opponents were cold
for 4H, but that was no consolation for -2000, a
unique score that made me glad this was an MP-scored
event.
The moral of the story: bid your hand once! Once
partner had bid 2NT (in itself a VERY questionable bid
vulnerable vs. not!!), she had told me the whole
story. She had nothing else to add, and should not
have bid again. Bidding again promised a MUCH stronger
hand. My partner's excuse? "I figured they could make
4H so I thought 5 of a minor would be a good
sacrifice." She might have been right, but it wasn't
her decision to make! It was mine.
********************
You can email Mezzie at: james_mesbur@yahoo.com
======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for this giggle:
Things NOT to Say to a Cop
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
(OK in Texas)
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with
me. Good job!
Are you Andy or Barney?
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
I pay your salary!
Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us
does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
When the Officer says "Gee Son, your eyes look red. Have you
been drinking?", you probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee
Officer, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?
==================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
====================
After the Gold Rush
Part 2--Westward Ho!
Our story began last month, when I headed for the big city in
search of thrills and excitement, and over two major bridge
events, I'd had a generous helping of intriguing and challenging
hands. Now it was off to Moose Jaw for another week of jousting
and a renewal of acquaintances with two other Fireside
commentators, Dann Kramer (POOKA) and Andy Anderson (Captain). I
once again had Dave McLellan as my partner, and we played team
events for most of the regional with Peggy Allen of Chevy Chase,
MD, Hugh Grosvenor of Alexandria, Va, and Kenny Gee of Regina,
leading Canadian masterpoint winner for the last three years.
In the first knockout teams, I played with Kenny the first
half of every match and with Dave in second half. A couple of
hands from Tuesday morning served notice that it was going to be
a hair-raising week. The first was:
West(Bill)
S AJ9x
H Axxx
D KQ
C AQx
East(Kenny)
S Kxx
H void
D AJ9xx
C KJ10zz
West East
2NT 3S*
3NT* 4H*
5S 5NT
6C 7C
Over my 2NT opening, Kenny bid 3S, which is the prelude to a
slam try with one or both minors and forced me to bid 3NT. Now
he bid 4H to reveal shortness with two good five-card minors.
That was pretty exciting news for me, as I had some nice fillers
in both minors and pure values in the majors with two aces. To
show my enthusiasm, I elected to go with a jump to 5S, which I
hoped partner would interpret as a grand slam try. Ken bid 5NT,
asking for my better minor, and then proceeded on to seven over
my 6C bid. This netted our side a 13 IMP gain when the E-W
pair at the other table stopped in 6C.
In the second half of the match, with both sides vulnerable,
I picked up:
S Kx
H xx
D AKQ10xxxx
C x
your typical "balanced" hand. LHO opened 1S, and Dave
overcalled 2C, pass on my right. I wracked my brain for
some nice, scientific way of finding the best contract, but no
light bulb flashed, so I decided to make the "hog" bid and leapt
to 3NT. Everyone passed and LHO shot out a low heart. I tried
to maintain a nonchalant demeanor as I inwardly cringed, hoping
that dummy would have enough to stave off the dagger thrust to
my weakness.
Fortunately, Dave put down Jxx of spades and KJ of hearts
and... c'mon, pard, diamonds next... any old diamond, I'm not
greedy, just one will be fine. Pard, you're reaching for a lot
of something and I'm guessing they aren't diamonds...
Dave
S Jxx
H KJ
D void
C AKJxxxxx
Bill
S Kx
H xx
D AKQ10xxxx
C x
Sigh...well, maybe the clubs will come home, to let me
scramble home. I put in the K of hearts, winning the trick, and
plopped down the club Ace. Low, low, SHOW OUT on my left. Oh,
wonderful. I've bid 3NT freely and might suffer the indignity of
going down SIX. I'm ruefully pondering my next move in attempt
to minimize the carnage, as thirty seconds go by. Then,
suddenly, LHO says, "Oh, did you call for a club?" "Oh, indeed
I did," I respond, as LHO belatedly contributes the Queen to the
previous trick. I murmured a prayer of thanks at my salvation
from the ashes of disaster, scoring the first nine tricks, all
from dummy, as the 3NT bidder took NO tricks whatsoever. All
this heartache and suspense was for a push board, as the
opponents also bid and made 3NT.
We made it into the finals, where we played against a group
of fellow Manitobans -- G Sekhar, Norm Adams, Andrew Petrick and
Rick Zillman. Dave and I came in for the second half with our
team down 8 IMPs. Things didn't look exceptionally bright when
Norm and Sekhar bid and made a good 6S that I thought might be
missed at the other table because the point-count of the two
hands was minimal. However, we got to a nice 21-point game that
came fluttering home and the opponents missed a game that I
thought our partners would likely bid. It came down to the last
hand, with us down by an IMP, when I held:
S Qxx
H Kxxx
D KQJ
C xxx
LHO opened 1S, partner overcalled 2C and RHO raised to 2S. I
briefly considered a responsive double but wasn't thrilled with
the distribution or the lack of aces, so I settled on a raise to
3C. At the other table, the occupant of my seat DID make a
responsive double and then made a further game try over partner's
3C. Dave's hand was:
S Ax
H xx
D xxx
C KQJxxx
We suffered a one-trick set in 3C, but our opponents were
doubled in 3NT for -500, so we snatched out a victory at the
wire.
On Wednesday, we started another knockout and won our first
match, and then played the two-session Stratified Swiss Teams in
the afternoon and evening. I played the first match with Ken,
then Dave and I sat out the next three. We lost the first match
of the second session to a Flight B Winnipeg team who added our
scalps to their belts, having already upended three of the
favourites. To come out on top, we needed to win the last three
matches and get some help. We rebounded with a solid effort in
the sixth match and continued our roll into the penultimate
match. Our system netted us a good result on this hand:
West(Bill)
S AQ10x
H void
D KQ109xxx
C AQ
East(Dave)
S Kx
H Axx
D Jxxx
C xxxx
West East
1D 1NT
2C* 2NT*
4D* 4H
6D
My 2C rebid was a version of Cole, and asked for the
pointcount and stoppers Dave had for his 1NT response. 2NT
showed BOTH majors guarded and 8-10 HCP. Knowing that I was
facing the spade king, I was able to launch into a keycard ask
with 4D, as ANY red ace was useful. After his 4H reply, showing
one keycard, I sailed into 6D, making easily as my Q of clubs was
discarded on the heart ace. In an amusing twist, the opponents
played 3NT at the other table, going down on a heart lead when
our partners ran their suit after getting in with the diamond
ace.
In the same match, we gained another swing when I made use of
a "Kaltica" technique:
West(Bill)
S KQ10x
H Qx
D AQx
C AKxx
East(Dave)
S xx
H xx
D KJ10xxx
C Q10x
West East
2D 2H!
3D 3NT
pass
When partner opened a weak two-bid, I responded a brisk 2H,
and then parked the contract in 3NT at my next turn. I was
favoured with a spade lead, and wrapped the first ten tricks for
a game swing.
The leading team had lost two close matches, so we were 1 VP
ahead with one match to go. Dave and I had another good set in
the last match, which included one of my favourite hands of the
week:
West (Bill)
S KQx
H A10xx
D xxxx
C xx
East (Dave)
S A10xx
H KQxxx
D Axx
C x
West East
1H (2C)
2NT* (3D) dbl* (pass)
4H (pass) pass (pass)
My 2NT bid was a "mixed" raise, showing 8-10 points AND
four-card support. Dave's double of 3D invited game in hearts,
and I was pleased to accept. 10 tricks came home easily for a
nice gain when the opponents stalled in 3H at the other table.
We scored 18 of a possible 20 VPs in the last round, enough to
secure first place as our closest pursuers lost a tight match.
Our team was in a happy mood with our early success, but
there were still another four days of bridge to go. I was
especially pleased with the number of fascinating hands, but
little did I know there were a lot more to come, as we'll
see in the July issue of the Fireside Chat. See you then!!
********************
You can write to Wintaka (Bill Treble) at: btreble@escape.ca
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 11:00 A.M. OKbridge time, and on alternating Saturdays at
11:00 A.M. OKbridge time.
Wintaka and Kaltica present classes on: SAYC (Rainbow
Series) 2/1 (Spectrum series) Precision (Prism Series), and
other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised play
sessions. Email Bill (btreble@escape.ca) or Colin
(kaltica@mts.net) for more information.
==============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Another funny one from BobW:
Quickest Way?
A man approached a local in a village he was visiting and asked,
"What's the quickest way to York?"
The local scratched his head. "Are you walking or driving?"
he asked the stranger.
"I'm driving."
"That's the quickest way."
=================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Kaltica in Court
At my partner's insistence, I was back before the
court. The three judges were impaneled: David "The
Beast" Lavin, Ganesan "Genghis Khan" Sekhar and Kenny
"Next Case" Sired (of Maxi-Flex fame). Hmm, one Carter
appointee and two Judge Roy Bean clones. Doesn't look
good so far. The case was heard after our weekly "male
bonding" game of Acquire at Chez Sekhar. Were it not
for the severe language warning, alcoholic excesses
and other typical male behaviour, it might be termed
a civil trial. What follows is a sanitized transcript.
The case centered around the meaning of these two
possible actions by me, South, after a particularly
interesting and disastrous board with Moogal (North):
i) East South West North
2S Pass 3S Pass
Pass Dble
ii) East South West North
2S Pass 3S Pass
Pass 3NT
We began with the first issue: What is the double
here? The prosecution stated its case. His Worship,
D. Lavin, accepted that a double here must be penalty.
Why else would South--vulnerable versus not at IMPs--pass
2S and suddenly find a "balancing double" when 3S came
around? For what? To turn +50 for beating 3S into
+130 for making 4C or 4D at the risk of -800? G. Sekhar
took the double as co-operative, showing a flat hand
with four Spades. North would be expected to pull to
a 6+ card suit--especially if North didn't have two
likely defensive tricks.
Kenny's eyes boggled at these conclusions.
"Can I have a gram of that stuff?" he asked.
To Magistrate Sired, the double was clearly takeout.
"Takeout?" roared his fellow jurists. "How can it
be takeout? South passed 2S! Now he is suddenly doubling
THREE Spades? Vul versus not? At IMPs? What? Did he
get some more HCPs in the mail?"
"No, but North has," Kenny countered, "from East. 3S
is weak. North is now marked for some HCPs. Doubling is
safe and game in Hearts or even a minor may yet make."
The three stared incredulously at each other and
then turned to me.
"And which of these was the intended meaning of your
double? Penalty, Competitive or Takeout?" the asked.
"None of the above," was my retort. Consternation.
"Pardon us?" Judge Lavin choked.
"No need to elaborate at this juncture," I replied,
"since I didn't double. I bid 3NT instead."
The trial moved on to the second phase: what in
tarnation was 3NT here? None of the jurists waited for
oral arguments. They went straight to the final
judgement:
"Minors." (Sekhar)
"Any 2-suiter." (Lavin)
"To play." (Sired)
In such a deadlock, original intent usually
carries a lot of weight.
"And you meant the double as...?" Sekhar intoned.
"None of the above."
Three blank stares. I continued.
"In the case of the double, any interpretation
would be equally legitimate. And, thus, equally
wrong--in the eyes of any partner on one of the other
wavelengths, at least."
The judges nodded sagely. Judges do that well.
"It follows logically that if a bid doesn't have
one clear meaning, it must have two. Or three."
More nodding. So far, so good.
"The question becomes: How does Partner know
which of the meanings is Doubler's intent?"
The judges waited in suspense.
"And THAT is the basis of that rarest of
creatures: the Hawaii Double!"
Three sets of eyes rolled. Not the Hawaii
Double again!
"Yes, the Hawaii Double. Doubler would be
showing 4 or 5 Spades--Penalty--OR 0 or 1 Spades,
Takeout. And how does Partner know which of
these is the case? By LOOKING AT HER HAND!
"That's right. If Partner has no Spades,
the double must be Penalty. If Partner has any
Spades, Partner should know that the double is
takeout and bid accordingly."
"But what does this have to do with a 3NT
bid instead of a double?" Justice Lavin asked.
"Is it to play or a 2-suited takeout not strong
enough to bid until West limits hir hand with 3S?"
"We have encountered an entirely new species,"
I explained. "The Hawaii 3NT!"
"You mean--" Kenny sputtered.
"That is right. If Partner is short in Spades,
3NT must be to play. If not, it must be a 2-suited
takeout and North should bid her preferences up
the line."
"Amazing." (Lavin)
"Startling." (Sekhar)
"Unprecedented." (Sired)
Case dismissed! I dashed out of the courtroom
as bedtime beckoned, happy that no one had thought
to ask me what my hand actually was. :)
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Kaltica and Wintaka present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series),
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Colin (kaltica@mts.net) or
Bill (btreble@escape.ca) for more information.
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Not really a 'giggle' break, but neat stuff all the same...
thanks to Kaltica for forwarding this on to us:
THINGS THAT WORK:
1) Flies or bees bothering you? Spray them with hair spray and
they will take a quick dive.
2) Sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then
slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.
3) Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps
them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs
to.
4) For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water
and put Dawn Dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the
steps. They won't refreeze. (Wish I had known this all this time)
5) Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag,
dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease
that is)
6) Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like A store
receipt BLUE!)? rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
7) Whenever I purchase a box of SOS Pads, I immediately take a
pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of
having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally
decided that this would be much more economical. And now a box of
SOS pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the
scissors get sharpened this way!
8) Opening brand new jars can be a feat in itself. Well, I have
found away to make it the easiest thing to do. Instead of banging
a jar of jam, pickles, etc., with a knife until it loosens up, I
simply reach into the drawer and pull out the handy nutcracker.
It adjusts to the size of the jar and I simply give it a good
twist and off pops the lid!
9) Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little
peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood.
Works every time!
10) Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and
horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side
has the streaks.
Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't
wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will
probably streak.
11) Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to
create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned
on. [Don't do this on a hot bulb!] Place fabric softener sheets
in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for
weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
12) Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for
at least 3 hours prior to burning.
13) To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag
and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all
the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like
new! Works like a charm!
14) To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add
a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of
pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.
15) Spray your Tupperware with non-stick cooking spray before
pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.
16) When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess
on the outside of the cake.
17) Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator
and it will keep for weeks.
18) When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help
bring out the corn's natural sweetness.
19) Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
20) Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and sauces.
21) To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on
the area and you will experience instant relief.
22) Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... get your chalk out and draw a
line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march.
23) Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and
better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
24) When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before
resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape
over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most
splinters painlessly and easily.
25) Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. *Clean a toilet.
Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait 20 minutes, brush & flush.
The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China.
*Clean a vase. To remove stain from bottom of glass vase/cruet,
fill with water & drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.
*Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four
Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if
necessary).
*Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka
Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White
Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.
========================================================