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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Winning With Wishtrik
Hand of the Month
Brush Up Your Bridge
Moogal's FireSide Log
BridgeHands eMag Newsletter
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and features.
Please feel free to write to us with any comments, questions,
ideas, or whatever, that you may wish to share. This newsletter
is for and about you, and we want you to feel welcome to
participate. Just email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com , Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net . Or Neophyte at
jane@tmarvin.fsnet.co.uk
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending us
contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate everything
you send, and use as many as we can. Keep 'em coming, please!
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide Chat"
newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive these mailings,
please write to Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com, or to Neophyte at
jane@tmarvin.fsnet.co.uk to be removed from our mailing list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. KALTICA/WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. DIANEW/WISHTRIK
FRI 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA/KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in these "open to
all" sessions, please note that FireSide Bidding Practice
Sessions operate with the support of those who attend. For
information about how to become a supporting member, please
contact Kaltica at kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at
moocake@bellsouth.net, Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.or
Neophtye at jane@tmarvin.fsnet.co.uk
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions in all
the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication and
caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking of taking
private lessons, paying a professional to play tourneys with you,
getting involved in a group session mentoring program... most,
if not all, of our commentators and contributors to this
newsletter are available for those services. Just think how much
easier it is to learn from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2006 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Hello All!
July already,Where does the time go? LOL or am I just getting
older? ( That was a rhetorical question by the way!)
I am in need of some giggle breaks if you can all try and help me
out?
I would ask that you add your OKB user name so that I can give
you credit ( OR blame) for them!I recognize a lot of you email
addresses ,though sadly not all.
Some news for you!
First,,,,,,,Although Sara (Believer) has left me
babysitting,,,,,,,She is working hard helping me get this
newsletter out to you all.
So a HUGH thanks to Sara!
Secondly,, Sara has had some more GREAT news!
There is no sign of the viral infection on her latest blood
results!
Now she will still need to continue her treatment, but all signs
are Positive!
Sara we all wish you well!
And finally,,,,,,,,,
FredW3 is starting up a mentoring group starting this Sunday.Why
not email him and give it a try?
Other commentators are also available,,,,,,,Go on be
brave,,,,,,,,,,,,,They are such fun and not as expensive as you
might think!
Until next month...
Happy Holiday!
Jane (Neophyte)
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at: sarastobbe@aol.com or
Neophyte at jane@tmarvin.fsnet.co.uk
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this giggle:
If you are a Lexophile (Lover Of Words), you will love these:-
1). A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired
2). What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3). Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4.) A backward poet writes inverse.
5). In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's
your count that votes.
6.) A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7.) She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off
8.) If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9.) With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10.) Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you
A-flat minor.
There are more to follow after Bridgboy!
============================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
I constantly teach to show fit, and to be encouraged anytime we
have support.
There is nothing more pleasing to find a fit early
It allows both players to reevaluate correctly.
S AXXX H X D QJX C A10XXX is our hand .
Partner opens 1 diamond, and we have to plan our overall auction
before we begin!
That last statement should ring clearly to all. We plan ahead
several steps in ADVANCE to tell our entire story to partner. As
soon as we are done partner is the captain.
On this particular hand , it is not quite good enough to force to
game, but only to invite. We need partner to have extras for more
in the minor suits.
So we bid a quiet 1 spade, and hear partner rebid 2 clubs.
This unexpected rebid has improved our hand . We have a good 2
suit fit and side controls in both major suits. I think a simple
raise to 3 clubs will alert partner of our enthusiasm.
Now if he passes with a minimum opener we will be content that
our values will not stretch to game. IF he bids again we will be
happy.
Now partner bids 3 hearts. what can we see in his hand?
I see 5 diams, 4 clubs, 3 hts,thus 1 spade. He has to have more
than a minimum opener in order to make this 3ht bid ,so I expect
at least 16+ points somewhere.
OK. Close our eyes and count losers people.
I see zero spade losers. Zero heart losers, probably no more than
1 diamond or 1 club loser combined. Our fit is wonderful and I
could show that by now bidding 4 diamonds.
I am not stopping below slam now, because all I have in terms of
points are in the best places. We have no wasted duplication of
values. I can cooperate but we are getting to slam for sure.
If partner has this hand:-
S X H AXX D AK10XX C KQXX
A GRAND slam is cold because of the double fit and controls we
have together.
If his hand is a little better,,,,,,,,,,
S K H AXX D AK10XX C KQXX
We still have a grand slam.
If it is a little worse.....
Sx HAxx DAKT9x C KJxx,,,We are still safe in 6 Clubs.
See how the tremendous fit will inspire BOTH partners towards
slam?
As long as it is revealed early enough to appreciate that,which
each has been dealt.
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide sessions on
Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge
time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of the game
may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
More from Luc..
11). When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12). The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.
13.) A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
14.) You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15.) Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16.) He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17.) Every calendar's days are numbered.
18). A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19.) A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20.) He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
OH more to come!
============================================================
WINNING WITH WISHTRIK
====================
MAKING A PLAN AS DECLARER
How do you think when you are playing a hand?
You should take time at trick one on every hand that you play.
There are several techniques to use.
Firstly count the total points between the two hands, which will
tell you if you are in a normal, or an abnormal contract. By
obtaining this info the play of the hand becomes easier. You will
know your objective. Do you take the safest line to make your
contract or do you need to play for overtricks? After the first
trick is turned over you should be able to verbalize you initial
plan. Sometimes you will commit to a line of play but as
developments happen you may change your mind. As every trick
evolves you have more and more info that must be assimilated.
NT count winners and suit contract count losers: When counting
winners the first thing is to count your sure winners and when
you get your total that will help guide you as to what suit to
establish. Quite often it works well to count winners in NT and
losers in a suit contract. The way that you count winners is to
start by counting your top winners first. Once you arrive at the
total you will now know how many tricks that you need to develop
to fulfill your contract.
Make a plan:
Now we should have an idea of what our objective is and how many
tricks you are aiming for. Now comes the hard part since we have
to decide what our best percentage play or plays will be. There
are many factors to take into account, the bidding and the lead
and the final contract. You will have varying amounts of info on
every hand. Their lead will often let you know how the led suit
is splitting. If 1 or both of the opponents have bid that will
give you info on distribution as well as their HCP strength in
each hand. Once you have all of this information you need to
formulate a plan, which is based on the correct percentage, plays
based on your knowledge. We have talked about options in the
bidding and this same principle holds true in your card play.
There are usually many options on every hand, especially in
low-level contracts. You have to weigh all of the information,
which is available to you, and choose the best line of play.
Always play for a plus score whether IMPs or Matchpoints: Plus
scores are good no matter the event you are playing in. I have
found that the play of the hand is almost always the same whether
you play Matchpoints or Imps. Just give yourself the best chance
of a plus score when making your plan to play the hand.
********************
Wishtrik (Lynn Deas) presides at our Thursday evening Fireside
sessions, starting at 5:30 pm OKbridge time. For lesson
information contact Lynn at:lynn@lynndeas.com
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
LUC continued.
21.) A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22.) The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.
23). Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in
the end.
24.) When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25.) Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26.) When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she
thought she'd dye.
27) Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28.) Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29.) Acupuncture is a jab well done.
THE END!,,,,,,,,,,,LOL thx LUC!
===========================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
================
This month we are pleased to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
From The 2006 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information call
1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: Both North
Dlr: S S AJ742
H K3
D T642
C 842
South
S K65
H AQJ72
D 3
C J652
West North East South
1H
P 1S P 2C
P 2H All pass
Opening Lead: D7
North-South would do better to adopt a style that allows
opener to raise with only three spades when the hand is
not strong enough to freely take a third bid. No matter,
it is time to concentrate on the play.
The diamond lead goes to East's ace, and he returns the H4 to the
H9 and HK. It looks as if a spade contract will provide nine
tricks if that suit is breaking. In 2H, though, the trump return
puts even eight tricks in jeopardy. Continue.
********************
S AJ742
H K3
D T642
C 84
S 98 S QT3
H T9 H 8654
D KJ975 D AQ8
C KT73 C AQ9
S K65
H AQJ72
D 3
C J652
Contract: 2H Lead: D7
If the spade finesse is working, there will be enough tricks. But
if you draw trumps and the spade finesse loses, East will switch
to clubs after West discards a diamond on the heart.
To keep control of the club suit while establishing the spades,
play a spade at trick three and duck it. There is still a trump
in dummy so the defense cannot take more than two club tricks.
This play is also better than playing to the SK and then taking
the finesse before pulling trumps. When the layout is as here,
East can give his partner a spade ruff, West exits a club, and
when the defense gets around to a second trump, 2H will be an
"easy" two down.
******************
Hand and analysis by Eric Kokish and Beverly Kraft, courtesy of
the Daily Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc.,
Brampton, ON, Canada. Reprinted with permission.(Special thanks
to Lee Daugherty
and Dann Kramer.)
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Tarsh for this giggle:
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The
two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend
it very highly.
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The
first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the
one that's red and has thorns.
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards
the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant
we went to last night?
===========================================================
BRUSH UP YOUR BRIDGE
====================
By Marcia West @ Fifth Chair Foundation
Opening Bids - Suit Contracts
I. Bidding Balanced Hands And Counting Hands
A. Hands are categorized as either, BALANCED or UNBALANCED.
Balanced (flat) hands come in one of THREE distribution types:
1) 4-3-3-3 2) 4-4-3-2 3) 5-3-3-2
BALANCED hands have NO singletons or voids.
B. Opening Basics And Long Suit Points: To determine whether we
can open, we count high card points and distribution points.
High Card Count Ace=4,King=3,Queen=2 and Jack=1.
C. In modern bridge to determine whether we should open we give
distribution points for length rather than shortness. In other
words we count LONG SUIT POINTS rather than short suit points.
Each card beyond the 4th card in the suit counts a point. Thus, a
suit containing AKxxx counts as 8 points, 4 points for the Ace, 3
points for the King, and one point for the 5th card.
How many points does the following hand contain?:
AKxxxx xx Kxx QJxx
This hand contains 15 points. 13 points in honor count AND one
point each for the 5th and 6th spade.
D. Quick Tricks: In this lesson we will refer to "quick"
tricks. The following are quick tricks:
A = 1 quick trick KQ = 1 quick trick AK = two quick tricks
AQ = 1 1/2 quick tricks Kx = 1/2 quick trick (You get no
credit for a singleton King)
1.Open all hands of 13 or more points (incl distribution)
2.Open 12 points with a 4333 type distribution: Don't open
unless you have 3 Aces.
3.12 points and 4432 type distribution: We suggest opening this
type hand only if:
a) Your points are concentrated in your 4 card suits,
b) You have two quick tricks, one of which is an Ace
c) You have a rebid without reversing
REMEMBER:In discussion of hands, we always list the suits as
follows:
Spades Hearts Diamonds Clubs
Thus, you can open: xx Qxx QJxx AKxx
Don't Open: KQxx KQxx xxx Qx (Although you have 2 quick
tricks you lack an Ace.)
E. Opening Balanced Hands that Lack Opening No Trump Point Count
Open a Minor Suit With:
4-3-3-3 or 3-4-3-3 open 1C (even with stronger Diamonds).
3-2-4-4 or 2-3-4-4 open 1D (even with stronger Clubs).
4-4-3-2 open 1D (the ONLY time you open 1D with only 3
diamonds)
4-4-2-3 open 1C. Hence, 1C shows 4 or more Clubs OR 3 Clubs
with 4-4 or 4-3 in the majors.
2-3-5-3 or 2-3-3-5 Open a five card minor unless your point
count reaches a no trump opening count
3. Opening 5-3-3-2 Hands with a Five Card Major
5-3-3-2 hands with a five card MAJOR are technically
BALANCED. We suggest opening such hands one of your 5 card major
even if you have the point count to open 1NT or 2NT. (You might
make an exception if your 5 card major is weak AND you have 3
cards in the other major.) Do open hands that contain a 5 card
major, that also contain 2 aces and a king.
4. What do I open the following hands?
a) Ax QJxxx Kx Qxxx
b) Ax QJxxxx Qx Qxx
c) Kx KQx xxxx Axxx
d) xx xxxx AKxx AJx
e) AQxx KJxx xxx Ax
f) AQxx Kxx AJx xxx
g) AQxx K Qxxx xxxx
III Opening Unbalanced Hands
A. General An UNBALANCED hand is defined as any hand that has a
singleton or a void, or two doubletons. We categorize these
hands as:
a) One suited (Contains at least a six card suit
b) Two suited (5-4 or longer in the two long suits) or
c) Three suited (4-4-4-1 or 5-4-4-0 type hands.)
B.Bidding Unbalanced Hands which lack the strength for an opening
Two Bid
1. One Suiters: Open One of your suit
2. 5-5 Two Suiters: Open the higher ranked suit, even if its
worse than your lower ranked suit. Open the following 1S: Qxxxx
AKxxx A xx
3. 6-5 Two Suiters: Open one of your higher ranked suit
4. 5-6 Two Suiters with insufficient points to reverse: Treat
this as two 5 card suits and open one of your higher ranking
suit.
Open the following one spade: AKxxx Axxxxx x x
Open the following one heart: AKxxx KQxxxx A x, since you
have the strength for a reverse.
5. 5-4 and 6-4 two suiters: Open the longer suit
6. Three Suiters:
5-4-4-0 three suiters, open one of the five card suit.
4-4-4-1 type three suiters: Open 1D unless you have a
singleton diamond. Then open 1C)
IV. QUIZ
A. How much length will I promise if I open a minor and rebid
it over a one level response?
B. How many Diamonds does 1D:1S:2D promise? 1D:1H:2D?
C. What do you open with the following hands?
1. S- J10xxx H-AKQxx D- Kx C- x
2. S- AQ H-Kxx D- AJ109x C- 10xx
3. S- AKQJxxx H-AKx D- xx C- x
4. S- Qxx H-Kx D- Qxxx C- AQ10x
5. S- AKJxx H-x D- Qx C- QJxxx
6. S- KQ10xx H-AQxxxx D- A C- x
7. S- Axx H- J10xx D- Qxx C- AQx
8. S- AQxx H- Axx D- AKQ C- xxx
9. S- xx H- Ax D- K10xx C- AQxxx
10. S- AJ10x H- AKxx D- A10xxx C- void
11. S AJxxx H AKxxxx D-X C- x
Answers to quiz:
4a. 12 high + 1 = 1 H
4b. 11 high + 2 = 1 H
4c. 12 high = 1 D - even tho the Club has the honor
4d. 12 high = 1 D
4e. 14 high = 1 D - The only time you open a 3 card
diamond suit.
4f. 14 high = 1 C - even tho the diamonds are better
4g. 11 high = Pass. The singleton King just doesn't
justify an opener.
Quiz Question One and Two - at least 5 cards in the suit, if
open a minor and rebid the minor.
Question Three: Bidding Questions
1. 13 high + 2 = 1 Spade
2. 14 high + 1 = 1 Diamond
3. 17 high + 3 = 2 Clubs - This is a 4 loser hand, so a
demand bid is acceptable.
4. 13 high = 1 D
5. 13 high + 2 = 1 S
6. 15 high + 3 = 1 Heart, then reverse, as hand is very
strong.
7. 13 high = 1 C
8. 19 high = 1 C, and jump to 2NT
9. 13 high + 1 = 1 C, and rebid 2 C, or 1 diamond and rebid
2C.
10. 16 high + 1 = 1 D
11. 12 high + 3 = 1 S, not enough to reverse
Marcia/Tarsh
********************
Fifth Chair Foundation - www.fifthchair.org
was founded to teach bridge on the internet.
Contributions are welcome. Please send your
check or money order to:
Fifth Chair Foundation
3055 80th Ave SE Suite 102
Mercer Island WA 98040-2954
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Melody for this giggle:
The power of the human mind
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be
a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought
slpeling was ipmorantt.
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Author wishes to remain anonymous,,,,,,,,He cribbed from Alfred
Lord Tennyson.
How Buz Won't Make the Same mistake
as Last Year Because He Learned a
Preemptor Never Tells the Same Story Twice!
3 clubs was his cry
Pass to the left of him
Pass by his partner
4 clubs ...they would not die!
5 C! . was his reply
Double! ..they thundered
And he went for 800
Bridge player to right of him
Bridge player to left of him
Partner in front of him
Sat there and wondered
Why the 800?
Stormed at with bids so well
Caught in a game from Hell
His team, like heroes fell
They that had fought so well
Moving towards second place
How will he show his face?
Yes.He had blundered
He wrote down 800
He did not make reply
He knew not the reason why
The 5C , he just let fly
Slipping to second place
Dying in his disgrace
He sat there and wondered
Why he went for 800
If only his teammates knew
He felt worse than Mad Carew
The 5C was wrong. T'is true
Soon they meet to score the round
Second place is where they're bound
He knew he had blundered
Damn that 800
Quietly they tallied score
Victory was theirs no more
His clubs were long was his report
His Majors .they were short
You'd do the same he sighed!
No problem, all his team-mates lied
The guilt he felt was deep inside
Damn that 800
When will their glory fade?
Oh, the wild bid he made!
His team ..they were dismayed
This was no game they played
All Flin Flon wondered
Why that 800
PS went for 1100,,,,lol but it didn't scan!
===========================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
Hello again. Janice (Moogal ) asked last month for someone to
take over her column!
Come on be brave,,,,,,,,,,LOL someone help me out here!
Jane (Neophyte)
**********************************************************
FIRESIDE'S TEAM GAME
Our June winners are:
06-04-06 FIRST: TEAM J21 J21, Jimm, Analisa, Redlin & Lorenz
SECOND: TEAM R3 R3, Mrtngail, Ebsoh & Bettyb
THIRD: TEAM BOBOWEN Bobowen, Ed4, Mytmoss & Stlmark
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder list
for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all welcome!
**NOTE** The Team Game is now being played once a month, on the
first Sunday of each month. If that happens to be a holiday
weekend, it will likely be played on the second Sunday. If you
are on my mailing list, watch your email for any schedule
changes. (This month the game will be played a week late, July 9,
so our U.S. friends can enjoy a long 4th of July weekend.)
**********************************************************
Deutschland's Vienna Coup by Richard Pavlicek
Did you know the Vienna Coup was discovered in Germany? Not many
people do, but I am obsessed with a theory that will convince
you. Trust me! Read all about it as you choose your call on
these six problems from a past tournament. You might even be
able to guess the venue from my clues. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/8w89.htm
Results of the June play contest "Slick Willy and Monique" will
be posted July 6, 2006 at 21:00 GMT. For these, and everything
else related to the monthly events, go to:
http://www.rpbridge..net/rppc.htm
***********************************************************
One other thing
Anyone going to the NABC in Chicago?
Have my OKB invite to the social event,,,,,Anyone goes,DO share
with us!
LOL they seem to have misplaced my air ticket!
J
************************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who write
for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other commentators
and newsletter contributors also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might think,
especially mentoring games. We think our commentators give you
your money's worth when you choose private lessons, and they
really value your business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one
what you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
***********************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program? An
event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of us? A
question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for us to
visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to miss
anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside, it's
easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet, here are
some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has developed to
enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm (Note that IGITSAP must be in
CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
Events: (All times Pacific)
=================================
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
==============================
First Sunday of each month, at 5:00 P.M.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists of past
winners.
To get on the mailing list for this game, email Moogal at
firesider@aol.com.
DISCUSS LIST
============
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity, the Discuss
List. You can join that list by emailing them at
Discuss-Subscribe@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe' in
the subject line. You can also participate in the discussions
via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the members area at
www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss List there at the
bottom of your opening page.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
=================
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants. Email Kaltica to
schedule a session, usually available on the same Sunday as the
Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many keystrokes
while playing on OKB by sending prepared text to the table, opps,
or lobby at the push of a button. Try to download the program
BEFORE the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically in
your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game: Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers
very welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be an
open table for those waiting to join the team game. This table
will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players: Saturdays, 11:00 a.m.
Pacific. Novices are welcome in spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name, in the
table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions. After
clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section. Write an
email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer your
questions.
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Tarsh for this giggle:
Subject: The Toilet Seat
Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to
paint the seat on their commode. Finally, he got around to doing
it while Lucy was out.
He left to take care of another matter before she returned. She
came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the
shower, she sat on the commode. As she tried to stand up, she
realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the
commode seat.
About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.
Finally, In desperation, Charlie undid the commode seat bolts.
Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the
Hospital Emergency Room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to
free her. Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by
saying "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like
this before".
The Doctor ! replied "Actually, I've seen a lot of them. I just
never saw one FRAMED before".
============================================================
BridgeHands eMag Newsletter
===========================
Reprinted with permission from Michael Nistler, editor
and owner of BridgeHands eMag Newsletter. Visit his site,
and subscribe to this excellent publication, by going to
http://www.bridgehands.com.
*******************
Always Play Third Hand High? (Rule of 3, Part 2)
In Bridge, there is a axiom that goes, "play low in the second
seat - play high in the third seat." After an opening lead, the
player in the second seat is in a prime position to become
finessed. By playing low in the second seat, the partner of the
leader (in the third seat) cannot be certain whether the player
in the second or fourth seat holds a crucial honor or
intermediate card; these cards may eventually be promoted to win
a critical trick. However, in third seat, either our partner
deliberately lead the suit or we called for the dummy card as
declarer. Either way, in third seat our predominant goal is to
promote a trick. So we generally play a high card in third seat.
Yet like most "rules", there are several considerations before
automatically playing a high card in third seat:
1. Play the "lowest of equals" over dummy cards - playing the
higher of two touching honors misleads partner into thinking the
Declarer holds the lower of a touching sequence.
2. When appropriate, keep a "cover card" (usually higher honor
card) over the visible card in dummy - of course, the defender
must carefully consider factors such as transportation, possible
finesses, declarer's short suits, etc.
3. Avoid winning a trick when gaining the lead at that moment
would ultimately lead to losing additional tricks.
4. Consider keeping suit communications open in Notrump
contract - playing low on the first round (ducking) to
subsequently promote the suit when regaining the lead.
Let's look at some illustrative examples - this discussion
assumes fourth-best leads.
432
A10987 KJ5
Q6
West leads the 10, the top of a sequence. East must go up with
the King, otherwise declarer South will win the trick and switch
to another suit.
K97
A832 Q104
J65
West leads the 2, the fourth best and promising a four card suit
(otherwise West would lead a higher card, holding 5). After
declarer plays the 7 from dummy, East must play Queen, otherwise
South unnecessarily wins a cheap trick.
876
K1043 Q92
AJ5
West leads the 3, the fourth best - as East, you can deduce this
fact since you hold the 2; if West held 5+ cards, the lead would
have been a card above the 3. In third seat, East must play the
Queen, again third hand high in order to hold the declarer to one
winner.
Now let's look at a few hands involving dummy finesses.
Q8
A76543 K109
J2
West leads the 5 to dummy's 8. East must play the King - third
hand high. Incidentally, did you use the Rule of 11 here? Here
the formula is: 11 - 5 = 6
So after the lead of the 5, the remaining 3 hands have 5 cards
above the 5. Sitting in the East seat, we can count 5 of the 6 so
declarer South has only one card above the leader's 5. Playing
the King ensures the defenders get all their tricks. Now let's
modify the hand slightly.
Q82
A7654 KJ9
103
After West's lead of the 5 to dummy's 8, East must play the Jack,
not the King. This is an example of "low from equals" - since the
dummy's Queen is pinned, playing the Jack will win a trick just
as effectively as the King and still keep the looming honor over
the Queen later in the hand. It would be wasteful to play the
King on the first trick and potentially give the opponents an
undeserved trick later in the hand.
Q87
92 AJ1065
K43
During the auction East bids a long suit, so West leads the 9 -
probably from a doubleton. East may play a low card since the
only outstanding honor above the leader's 9 is the Ace. Here's an
exception to playing third hand high. East should keep a "cover
card" - the Ace honor over dummy's Queen. In addition to keeping
the important cover card, West can deduce that East has the Jack
and 10. Now let's investigate third hand play when leader has a
strong honor sequence.
J32
KQ1054 A6
987
West leads the King, the top of a broken sequence (recall we
should lead the top of the touching honors). In third seat, East
should play the Ace and return the suit. If East played the 6,
West will certainly play again; this would force East to play the
Ace, blocking the suit - a most unfortunate situation. Next,
let's examine a situation where third hand uses a ducking
strategy to belatedly promote a suit (opponents are playing a
Notrump contract).
32
104 AKQ65
J987
Imagine East bid this suit, South overcalled Notrump and the
opponents eventually ended up in 3 Notrump. After West dutifully
leads the 10, should East win the trick and continue playing the
suit? The answer is, "it depends!" If East has an outside entry,
then going up with the top honor will work - East loses the
fourth trick to South's Jack but later wins a trick in an outside
suit and cashes the fourth trick in this suit to set the
contract. But what about the situation where West has the only
winner in an outside suit? If East were to win the Ace-King-Queen
and East later gets in the lead, West would not be able to return
a card to East's promoted suit. We call this keeping the suit
communication open. In essence, when the long hand does not have
an outside entry, be careful to disrupt the vital suit
communication channel. Finally, let's explore a ducking maneuver
where the opponents are in a suit contract and partner is hoping
to gain a ruff.
J86
92 A10754
KQ3
West leads the 9; should East play third hand high with the Ace?
Again, the answer depends on who has an outside suit entry. If
East has an outside Ace of trump, it would be okay to win the Ace
here and return a low card in the suit - when the declarer wins
the trick and plays a trump, East wins and plays a third card in
this suit to give West a ruff. However, if West potentially held
the Ace of trump or King-third "behind" the declarer, than
clearly East should not win the first trick. As we saw before,
when West regains the lead and returns the remaining singleton in
the opening suit, East wins the Ace and gives West a
well-deserved trump ruff.
In summary, third hand high is a useful axiom yet it does not
absolve the player from thoughtful play based on the big
picture - and that's what makes our delightful game of Bridge so
much fun! Two good books covering third hand high (or not) are:
"Defense" (formerly known as the Heart Series) and "25 Bridge
Myths Exposed."
==========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Tarsh for this giggle:
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear
you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
============================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
Smorgasbord
My wife Sue and I recently went to opposite extremes in our tournament
ventures. About three weeks ago, we traveled to St. Cloud, Minnesota, with
another couple for a sectional that we found out about from our friend Mike
Leighton, part of a family of nine who all play bridge and live in various
parts of North Dakota and Minnesota. We've been there for a couple of years now
and it's a great event with friendly people and down-home hospitality, lots of
munchies during the sessions and one of the best pot-roast dinners I've ever had at
the midway point of the Swiss Teams on Sunday.
Then, about a week later, on a spur-of-the-moment decision, we headed
off to Las Vegas for their annual June regional. Of course, with my reputation
as a voracious eater, we had to supplement the bridge-playing with a couple of
trips to the famous buffets along the Strip. This time, we tried the Mirage and the
Bellagio, both of which were good. Some friends from Thunder Bay liked the one at
Wynn's the new hotel/casino that just went up a few years ago. We also had three
trips to Marie Callender's Pies and Restaurant on Sahara Drive, where Sue had the
trout and I had salmon twice and the chicken pot pie once. Of course we feasted
on the pies as well, and I have to say their banana cream pie is to die for.
The month featured a variety of interesting bridge hands, and we'll
harken back to the Worldwide Pairs game from June 3 for the first exhibit. Sue and
I did fairly well there, 4th in Canada, 18th in North America and 37th worldwide.
This hand played a large role in our good performance, and it had more to do with
a decision that my right-hand opponent had with this hand, with neither side
vulnerable and a 1D opening on his right:
East: S-- AQJ9xxx H-- xx D-- x C-- Q10x
In Eric Kokish's analysis, he mentions that any number of spades
could be tried here, with only a 2S jump overcall being truly repugnant..
However
.
all of 1S, 3S, and 4S are legitimate possibilities.
Now we'll look at my hand in the next chair to see how the auction will continue:
South: S-- Kxx H-- A10xxx D-- 9xx C-- Ax
If East goes all the way with 4S, South has no choice but to double,
which in this case produces +500 for NS, which probably translates out to an
above-average result.
While slam is there (it's on a finesse for the
diamond King), it wasn't always bid, nor would you necessarily want to be
there.
Our East went for likely the mainstream choice, a 3S pre-empt. Now I
was faced with a tough decision on the South hand. 4H on a mediocre five-card
suit didn't really appeal, for two reasons.
First, even if it lands us in an eight-card fit,the trumps could be breaking viciously.
Second, it could easily go spade the Ace and ruff a spade by the defense on the opening go.
I finally elected to
go with the Bob Hamman axiom, if there are a number of reasonable options and 3NT is one of them, be a notrump hog.
3NT turned out nicely for us in this particular instance, as Sue had:
North: S-- x H-- KQ9x D-- AQJ10x C-- KJx
Even 3NT would have been a good result for us, as with the diamond King
favorably placed, +490 would have beaten all the pairs that found the heart
fit but only played the hand in game. As it turned out, partner blasted the hand
all the way to 6NT, and that was the best of all worlds for us, getting to notrump
AND bidding the cold slam.
It turns out the Easts that enjoyed the most success on this hand
were those who didn't pre-empt at all but made a simple 1S overcall. As Bob Todd
explained after the game to us, he and his partner were now able to get to hearts as
South now bid his five-card suit. However, when it came time to decide whether or not to go for slam they found out they were missing an Ace and the diamond King,
which could be in the East hand since there had been an overcall rather than a
pre-empt.
And so it was that Bob and Doug Fisher played 4H making six, which is the
best result that EW can really achieve on the hand. In talking with some of the
other players, I found out that the 1S overcallers fared best, whereas the the 3S
and 4S
bidders got the worst results on this hand. This is just one hand, of
course, and
the higher-level spade bids could easily have been more effective on a
different layout of the cards. One of the great things about bridge is the huge
amount of variations that can stem from one apparently innocuous bidding decision.
We move next to St. Cloud, where this hand came up in the Swiss Teams
on the final day. As South, you are non-vul against vulnerable opponents,
with this motley collection:
S-- x H-- J10xxx D-- xxxx C-- Q10x
RHO opened 1D, and I suppressed the urge to make a weak jump overcall
of 2H. LHO responded 1S and now my partner overcalled 2H. Opener jumped to
3S, and the picture didn't look very bright, as they can likely make however
many number of spades they want to bid. What, then should South's action be at
this point?
The answer depends on what you know about your opponents. In a high-
level situation, will they bid one more for luck or take the sure plus by
doubling?
If they take the conservative route, then the right bid is probably 5H,
letting the chips fall where they may. However, I knew the guys we were playing against would bid at least 5S in the blink of an eye if I took pre-emptive action at
this juncture.
Against them, I had to be more devious and throw up a smokescreen
that would hopefully dampen their aggressive instincts. Consequently, I bid
4C, looking for all the world like a man with heart support and the AQ of
clubs that I wanted to get partner to lead.,
Left hand opponent now bid 4S and partner now chimed in with 5C.
Hmmm,
we appear to have struck a nerve. 5S now from opener on our right.
Well, my assumption that these guys keep bidding no matter what is
definitely on the mark. Problem now is, if I bid 6H, it will be letting the cat out of
the bag and they might soldier on to 6S. No, partner has never heard of selling
out undoubled at the five-level anyway, so I have that going for me. Pass
by me, pass on my left, double from my better half. Perfect, as I now retreat
to 6H.
A reluctant double by lefty now, and RHO sighs and passes. The end
result is down only one in 6H doubled, as partner was 5-5 in hearts and
clubs.
At the other table, our partners were allowed to buy the contract in 5S,
making six.
In Las Vegas, we started out playing in a knockout teams and in the
first match we played, an instructive declarer play hand came up. You are in 4S,
on this layout:
North
S-- K108x
H-- AKxx
D-- Kx
C-- J9x
South
S-- QJ9x
H-- void
D-- A109xxx
C-- Axx
You opened 1C and partner responded 1H, then boosting your 1S
rebid to game. The lead is a low club and you put in the nine, taking RHO's
Queen with your Ace.
At one table, declarer went to dummy's King of diamonds and
pitched his club losers on the AK of hearts. Now he was ready to embark on
a crossruff but when he played a diamond to the Ace, LHO ruffed and fired
back a spade, two more rounds of trump cookng declarer's goose.
The actual line of play not only fails against a 4-1 diamond split,
but a poor trump break might be troublesome as well. Also, we haven't lost
any tricks yet so can afford to be careful in the play. Moreover, it could
be useful to lead a club up to dummy's remaining honor to establish a trick
if the remaining honor is on the left as the carding would seem to indicate.
To make the hand, declarer must take the club Ace, go to the King
of diamonds, and play only one of dummy's heart winners to pitch a club.
Leaving the remaining top heart on table prevents the defense from tapping
us down in either rounded suit. Now play a trump and when RHO wins the
Ace and plays a diamond back, execute a further safety play by inserting the
9 or 10 from your hand. If it loses to the Jack or Queen, diamonds will
have
gone 3-2 and you have the rest of the tricks, ruffing a diamond high if one
comes back. It turns out instead that LHO ruffs the diamond but has no
trump to return and can't hurt you in either clubs or hearts since you still
have those suits guarded on table. The best declarers start by expecting
the
worst in the lay of the cards and prepare their line of play accordingly.
I'd
guess that even some topnotch players would fail to bring this game home
because it requires an extreme pessimist to envisage how it might go down
and find the solution to emerge with ten tricks regardless.
Finally, a hand from a pairs game on the final day before our
getaway from the city of sin. You hold as North:
S-- xxx H-- AKQ7x D-- 9xxx C-- x
The auction goes:
West North East South
pass pass pass
1C 1H pass pass
dbl pass 1NT pass
3NT pass pass pass
Partner leads the 2 of hearts and this dummy appears:
S-- AKQx H-- x D-- Jxx C-- AKQxx
It's a much easier hand in teams than matchpoints, where
it's worth sacrificing an overtrick or two in the hope of beating
the contract. Partner appears to have three hearts from the opening
lead, with four in declarer's hand. Should we duck the heart entirely,
then? No, as partner could have Jxx and East the 109xx. But
declarer is more likely to have the guarded Jack of hearts because
of his notrump bid after opener's takeout double. The way to cater
to either holding is to win the heart and return a low one at trick
two. Some deceptive players might actually win the King of hearts
at trick one and fire back a low one, concealing the Queen. That
might enable the defense to prevail when opening leader has the
10xx of hearts and declarer the J9xx.
Back to the matchpoints worry, though. Is it possible that
we might be giving the opponents 11 or 12 tricks in 3NT if we fail
to take our hearts right off the bat? The bidding makes this unlikely,
or more precisely the failure of LHO to come in with an immediate
1NT after the 1H overcall. That makes it certain that he can't be in
the 8-10 range, so you'd anticipate about 5 to 7 points from East, in
which case he won't have enough winners to take if you keep the
lines of communication open in the heart suit. Partner must have
the Ace or King of diamonds on the bidding. He had the diamond
Ace and J10xxx of clubs as well, so 3NT is hopeless if you give
declarer his sure heart trick early. Instead, North took the AKQ of
hearts and played a fourth one. Declarer won and played on diamonds,
knowing you couldn't have the Ace of diamonds in addition to your
top hearts as you had passed originally. 3NT came home with nine
tricks as a result, where declarer would have been held to seven or
eight tricks by rendering unto declarer what was his at an early point.
After three weeks of being on the go, Sue and I are going to
relax, play OKB tourneys, and watch our six seasons of "Everyone
Loves Raymond" DVDs. So we hope you enjoy your summer until
we meet again in next month's Fireside.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Fridays or
Tuesdays at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca) for more
information.
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thx to Pooka for these one
More of life's little true-isms ?
"I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the
fish swim by in complete safety."
"IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't dinner already on the
table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely
nothing. It's a conditioned response.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea how it
works."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD." Means: "I can't
hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Means: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme
song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever
owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." Means:
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I
have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
admit that I am hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Means: "And I sure
hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched
hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just
said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so
that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" Means: "I am used to
the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit,
I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "No one will
ever see us alive again."
============================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Forms of the Game
In F2F tourneys we are often faced with a myriad of choices regarding events:
IMPs vs MPs (and the occasional Board-a-Match). Kaleidoscope Lesson #6 details the implications of IMPs versus MPs but it boils down to this:
IMPs is for bidders,
MPs is for cardplayers.
MPs is a better test of skill simply because no board is
more important than the others. At IMPs one slam decision can mean the difference
even in a long match if most of the other boards are flat.
The various events also come in different "flavours": flighted, stratified,
stratiflighted, bracketed, etc. Before we look at these, though, let us ask ourselves
what we are looking for in an event. The question boils down to: As novices, are we
looking for a fun event or are we in the mood to compete, perhaps even win?
If interested strictly in the social aspects of bridge look for Open Pairs and
Swiss Team events. Pairs will allow you to meet a wider variety of new players; Swiss Teams may limit you to 7 or 8 pairs/teams but you will play enough hands against them to develop a relationship of sorts.
Moogal can tell you about the time in Toronto
when we made fast friends with our opponents at our table--even to the point of
arranging to play with them at a future date--while our respective team mates were
screaming at each other at the other table. LOL. :)
If you want a more competitive game look for bracketed or stratified games.
A bracketed knockout, for instance, puts you into a group of 16 teams comprised of
players with approximately the same total number of masterpoints as you. If masterpoints were an accurate measure of skill level (a big "if") this would give you a good chance to win if you play your best.
Odds are that you will know most of the players you meet though.
Stratified pairs produce an overall victor and winners in the various sections.
For example, everyone competes for the overall first place but those with, say, 750 to
1500 also qualify for "best of B Section" while those with fewer MPs compete in "C".
Of these two, if all other things are equal, I would recommend a bracketed knockout over stratified pairs for these reasons:
1. there might not be many others in your section in the Stratified Pairs game;
2. the fact that Stratified Pairs is MPs reduces your chances of winning; and,
3. knowing the strengths of your opponents can make for a more rational game.
The drawback of the knockout format, of course, is that it commits you to an
indefinite period of play. Nevertheless, the rise in popularity of Knockouts has come
largely at the expense of Swiss Teams. Swiss Teams themselves have evolved from the days of straight wins to today's superior Victory Points approach. There are still anomalies though.
Lose one match by ten, win the next by 100 and you are no better off than
a pair who has won two narrow victories.
Sponsoring organizations are continuing in their quest to come up with newer
formats; Billy tells me that a nearby sectional will have a bracketed Swiss. Maybe
I'll check it out. :)
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide sessions on
Tuesday or Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net) for more
information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
On a Septic Tank Truck in CT:
"Back Off or I'll Flush"
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit please back in."
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action"
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've
come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car
payment."
Outside a 'Fair Muffler' Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and
get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
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Ocbober, 2001
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November, 2001
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December, 2001
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January, 2002
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February, 2002
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March, 2002
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April, 2002
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May, 2002
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June, 2002
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July, 2002
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August, 2002
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September, 2002
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October, 2002
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November, 2002
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December, 2002
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January, 2003
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February, 2003
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March, 2003
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April, 2003
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May, 2003
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June, 2003
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July, 2003
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August, 2003
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September, 2003
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October, 2003
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November, 2003
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December, 2003
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January, 2004
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February, 2004
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March, 2004
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April, 2004
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May, 2004
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June, 2004
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July, 2004
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August, 2004
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September, 2004
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October, 2004
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November, 2004
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December, 2004
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January, 2005
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February, 2005
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March, 2005
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April, 2005
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May, 2005
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June, 2005
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July, 2005
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August, 2005
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September, 2005
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October, 2005
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November, 2005
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December, 2005
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January, 2006
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February, 2006
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March, 2006
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April, 2006
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May, 2006
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June, 2006
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July, 2006
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August, 2006
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September, 2006
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October, 2006
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November, 2006
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December, 2006
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