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Fireside Chat
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Winning With Wishtrik
Hand of the Month
Brush Up Your Bridge
Moogal's FireSide Log
BridgeHands eMag Newsletter
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and features.
Please feel free to write to us with any comments, questions,
ideas, or whatever, that you may wish to share. This newsletter
is for and about you, and we want you to feel welcome to
participate. Just email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com , Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net. or Neophyte at
jane@tmarvin.fsnet.co.uk
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending us
contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate everything
you send, and use as many as we can. Keep 'em coming, please!
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide Chat"
newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive these mailings,
please write to Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from
our mailing list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in these "open to
all" sessions, please note that FireSide Bidding Practice
Sessions operate with the support of those who attend. For
information about how to become a supporting member, please
contact Kaltica at kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at
moocake@bellsouth.net, or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions in all
the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication and
caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking of taking
private lessons, paying a professional to play tourneys with you,
getting involved in a group session mentoring program... most,
if not all, of our commentators and contributors to this
newsletter are available for those services. Just think how much
easier it is to learn from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2006 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING (yes she will return)
===========================
Hello, My name is Jane (Neophyte) I am babysitting Fireside
whilst Sara ,concentrates on getting well.
Now I know that the May edition was less than perfect and it was
my fault!
I apologise if I offended anyone.
I didn't realise just how many Firesiders were out there!
I had never sent 435 emails all at once before.
One of the things I messed up on was the sending of the
newsletter..
Sorry I have never heard of BCC,,,and it never occurred to me to
*hide* all your email addresses..I AM so sorry.!
Next mistake,,,,,,,When I finally worked out the emailing.I
forgot the subject title! ( I am such a bird brain!) As as result
,as some of you haven't got my email address in your address
book,,it was directed into your SPAM/junk mail folder.
Just consider these mistakes as my putting the nappy on the baby
the wrong way round..but at least the nappy was there!
Hopefully I have done better this month!
I got so scared last month,,,that I asked my husband (Anthony)
"Who was it said,,,,,
*There is nothing to fear but fear itself*"
He laughed and said....
"FDR
,,,,,,,.....Oh and bye the way,,,,,during World War 2 ,,,He
introduced a radio slot called Fireside,,,to inspire/encourage
the American people!"
Don't you just love/hate a smart alec?
So as Colin (Kaltica) Ward would say when we bid out of turn at
bidding practise.
*Your patience is indulged*
I am trying my best for all of us!
And Finally.News about Sara.
Sara is responding well to the treatment!
Her Doctor is really pleased with her recent results,,,,,(he had
a grin on his face apparently)
That was nothing I dare say ,compared to the grin on Sara's!
I am sure Sara will keep you informed privately if you want.,,,
In the meantime.email comments,articles or questions to me at
jane@tmarvin.fsnet.co.uk
OR
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com or bb@wowway.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
THX to Al for these
1). Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
2) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor .
3). Atheism is a non-prophet organization.?
4) If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?
5). The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where
all the bad girls live?
6) I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.!
7). What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8). If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with
soap?
9), Is there another word for synonym?
10) What do you when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
============================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
I have certain ingrained theories that have been built from many
years of pain and suffering..
I found a very cute hand playing on OKB this a.m. that I believe
will help others see how to handle basic hands.
It went p p to me and I picked up this hand
S Axxx
H AQxx
D Axx
C 9x
I know most would feel system locked, and open 1 diamond.
But I strongly believe in third seat, I must bid my best suit,
the one I want led, the one I want partner to compete in,
Do I have any rebid problems no matter what partner bids?
No I do not.
If partner bids spades,I raise.
If he bids 1nt I pass,
If partner bids 2 clubs I can rebid 2nt,
and if partner bids 2 diam I can raise.
I do have a nice solid opening with 3.5 def tricks.
OK,,, now to the auction.
p p 1ht p
2cl*(alerted as reverse drury)
which shows 4 card ht support and a near opener.
I did not want to sign off with this hand so I bid 2 diam showing
a full opener and awaited further developments.
Partner raised to 3 diam and I wanted to try for 3nt. So I q bid
3 sp and partner bid 4 clubs showing the club ace.
I signed off in 4 hts and that was the final contract. To review
P P 1HT P
2CL* P 2DIAM P
3DIAM P 3SP P
4CL P 4HT P
P P
Opening lead king of clubs
DUMMY
S VOID
H KXX
D K9XXXX
C A1072
I HELD
S AXXX
HAQXX
DXX
C97
I counted one loser in hts, one club and one potential diam
loser.
So I wanted to play to lose only these three tricks because I
know it will make 10 winners.
Maybe hts will split 3-3 . or diam 2-2,,, but I am budgeting for
3 losers.
Ok here goes...
I duck the opening lead because I have one club loser,so I lose
it now.
RHO follows with the jack of clubs and LHO continues with a low
club which I duck and it gets ruffed on my right.
OK that could be my trump loser I hope.
Back comes a sp and I ruff it on the table and draw three rounds
of trumps as RHO did indeed have 4 trumps and by ruffing took his
natural trump trick.
I drew trumps and cashed ace of diam and led my second one
toward dummy
LHO shows out and I duck,,,,,,,,,,, conceding my third and last
loser.
My score of plus 420 is an 85 percent board.
Those that play 5 diam do not beat me. I was surprised no other
pair played in 4 hts and really that is a fine contract.
So I keep saying, bid your good quality suits regardless of
length and you will never be that far from success. If you had
opened 1 diamond your partner would never allow you to play in
any major suit contract which as we see plays pretty well. Maybe
opening good suits is the key to success
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide sessions on
Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge
time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of the game
may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
Mother's Lament
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "This you call a smile, after all the money
your father and I spent on braces?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS'S MOTHER: "I don't care what you've
discovered, you still should have written!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the hat! Why can't you
wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "Next time I catch you throwing money
across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good bye!
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented
the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to
go, young man, midnight is long past your curfew!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior photograph!
Couldn't you have done something about your hair?"
MOSES'S MOTHER: "That's a good story! Now tell me where you've
really been for the last forty years!
============================================================
WINNING WITH WISHTRIK
=====================
General rules for leading
1. Lead aces and singletons against small slams in suits.
2. Lead longest suit against a notrump contract even if the
opponents have bid the suit.
3. Lead stiffs against suit contracts
4. Usually lead best suit against suit contracts. It is good to
lead away from a king.
5. Don't lead an unsupported ace except as a last resort.
6. Lead trumps against Flannery Doubled partscores A partscore
where the bidding goes one of a major, one notrump, two of a
minor
7. Lead longest suit if you have trump length - start a tap
How to decide what to lead against a suit contract?
Trump lead-only against very few auctions. You should be able to
give a specific reason if you choose to lead the trump.
Short suit leads when looking for a ruff. (don't lead a stiff
when holding 4 trumps).
If you have 4 or more trumps lead your longest side suit. You
want to tap them out so you will eventually have more trumps than
the declarer.
With 2 touching honors lead the highest one. (An honor is an
A,K,Q,J,10) If you have an interior sequence (KJ10x, Q1098) lead
the highest of touching honors only.
You lead top of a sequence and top of your interior sequence. You
NEVER underlead aces against suit contracts. Usually lead your
best suit, even if they bid it.
How to decide what to lead against a NT contract?
Against NT contracts, you lead top of a sequence and top of your
interior sequence. If you have no sequence, you lead fourth best.
Always lead your best suit, even if they bid it.
You just always lead 4th from your longest and strongest. It is
generally a very bad policy to lead short suits trying to "catch"
partner no matter how bad your hand is.
*********************************************
Wishtrik (Lynn Deas) presides at our Thursday evening
Fireside sessions, starting at 5:30 pm OKbridge time.
For lesson information contact Lynn at: lynn@lynndeas.com
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for these:
RED SKELETON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go
on Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is
in Texas.
I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way
back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I
suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was
water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me
"In the lake."
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud
fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt
her.
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the
TV?"
I said "Dust*
============================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are pleased to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
From The 2006 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information call
1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: Both North
Dlr: E S 84
H K3
D KJ5
C AKQT86
South
S KJ
H JT0652
D Q8732
C --
West North East South
P P
1S 2C 2S 3H
P 3S P 4D
P 4H P P
Dbl All pass
Opening Lead: H4
Eeast-West play five-card majors. North is strong for a simple
overcall, but no other action appeals. Double is unsuitable
without support for the other major. South's 3H is an optimistic
bid but based on good shape and the hope of landing on his feet.
North's 3S asked for a spade stopper for 3NT. Although South
could supply the stopper, the hand was too freakish for 3NT,
especially with the void in clubs.
West leads the H4. Plan the play.
*****************************************
S 84
H K3
D KJ5
C AKQT86
S AQ763 S T952
H A4 H Q87
D AT64 D 9
C 73 C J9542
S KJ
H JT0652
D Q8732
C --
Contract: 4H doubled Lead: H4
Against 4H doubled there was significant potential for East-
West. Suppose West leads the HA. Based on the bidding and
dummy, the switch to DA and another diamond would be obvious.
East ruffs, plays a spade to West and receives another diamond
ruff. With another spade trick still due, that would be worth
+800. The impossible to find DA opening lead and continuation
could produce +1100.
West chose a trump lead to protect the diamond holding, but
curiously chose the H4. Declarer, Australian Bob Richman,
considered the implications of the low trump lead. As West might
lead a low heart if holding the ace but not from HQx or HQxx,
Richman rose with dummy'd HK. Had he played low from dummy the
defense would be on track for +1100. When the HK held he
promptly discarded his spades on the CA and CK. He then led a
low trump won by West with the ace.
West forlonly tried the SA, ruffed by Richman, who continued with
the D2 to dummy's DK. He noted the fall of the D9 from East.
Next came the CQ on which South threw the D3 and West a spade.
The position was now clear. West began with just two clubs and
five spades (for the 1S opening). West also figured to have held
A4 origianlly, not HAQ4. As that accounted for nine cards, West
started with four diamonds and East with one. Accordingly Richman
ruffed a spade to hand and led the D8. West played low and
Richman let the D8 run for +790.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hand and analysis by Ron Klinger, courtesy of the Daily Bridge
Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc., Brampton, ON, Canada.
Reprinted with permission.(Special thanks to Lee Daugherty and
Dann Kramer)
Taken from The 2005 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com.
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Tarsh for these:
Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some of this year's winners:
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.
===========================================================
BRUSH UP YOUR BRIDGE
====================
By Marcia West @ Fifth Chair Foundation
Jacoby & Texas Transfers
Marcia West
General: The use of the Jacoby & Texas Transfer bids allow the
strong hand, the NoTrump opening bidder, to become the declarer
in a major suit contract, and the weak hand to become the dummy.
It is much more difficult to defend against, when defenders do
not see all the good cards in the dummy.
Playing Jacoby Transfers the declarer can gain an extra trick at
the beginning because the opening lead is coming up to the strong
hand.
Jacoby Transfers can be used over 1 or 2 NT opening bids.
Your hand: AQxx KJx KQxx Qxx
If you were holding these cards in your hand, you would like the
player on your left to be leading up to your hand, rather through
all your tenaces (finessing situations).
REQUIREMENTS TO USE THE JACOBY TRANSFER:
You hold at least a 5 card (or longer) major. There are no other
requirements.
NOTE !!! If you have only a 5 card major, YOU MAY NEVER, EVER,
EVER!! rebid the suit once you have made a transfer. YOU HAVE
ALREADY TOLD PARTNER THAT YOU HAVE 5 of that suit by using the
Jacoby Transfer.
A. HOLDING A 5 CARD MAJOR:
1. Holding a weak hand: Partner has opened 1 NT.
You hold : Axxxx x xxxx xxx
In the past, with this holding across from an opening notrump,
you would have bid 2S which is a drop dead bid. It would show a
0-7 HCPoints and requests that partner pass.
Playing Jacoby Transfers, we would bid 2 H, the transfer bid to
the next higher suit, and partner would now bid 2 S. You would
pass and become the dummy.
2. Holding an intermediate hand: Partner has opened 1 NT.
You hold : Ax Kxxxx xx Jxxx
You transfer, that is, you bid 2D and partner will now bid 2H.
Now you show the invitational hand that you have, by bidding 2
NT. If partner has a minimum NoTrump count, she will pass 2
N.T. with less than 3H, or with a minimum count and 3 card
support, she will bid 3H. If she is at the maximum of her N.T.
Range, she will bid 3 NT. or with a maximum and a three card fit
with your hearts, she will now bid 4H.
3. Holding a game going hand: Partner opens with 1 NT.
You hold: AQxxx xx KJx xxx
You bid 2H. PARTNER MUST NOW BID 2S. Your rebid becomes 3 NT,
which since you transferred, shows 5 spades and 10 or more count.
Remember NEVER rebid a 5 card suit. You have already told partner
that you have 5 of Spades. It is now up to the 1NT opening
bidder to correct to 4S if she has 3 Spades and pass 3NT if he
only has 2 Spades.
4. Holding a game going hand, with another 5 card suit:
Partner opens with 1 NT.
You hold: AQxxx xx KJxxx x
You bid 2H. PARTNER MUST NOW BID 2S. Next, you bid 3D, which
shows another suit. This bid is forcing on the opening NT
bidder. Since you made 2 bids you have described your hand, and
now allow partner to place the contract. Partner can bid 3NT,
with shortness in spades, or bid 4S with 3 or 4 of them, or 5D
with shortness in spades, and a good fit in diamonds.
B. HOLDING A 6 CARD MAJOR SUIT:
1.) Holding a weak hand: Partner has opened 1 NT.
You hold: xxxxxx xx x xxxx
With this holding, you transfer and then pass.
2.) Holding an intermediate hand: Partner has opened 1 NT.
You hold: QJxxxx Kx xxx xx
With this holding, you transfer to spades, and then bid 3S, which
promises 6 spades, and is an invitational bid. It is not
forcing.
3.) Holding a game going hand: Partner opens with 1 NT.
You hold: KJ9542 3 KQxx xx
Note: this hand counts to 11, with the 2 extra spades. You will
now use the TEXAS TRANSFER (which belongs to the Jacoby Transfer
family). You can use the Texas Transfer with 7+ high card
points, since your two extra spades raise your count to at least
9 points. You have to insist on getting to game and remember
that you no longer care what partner has in Spades, as you know
she has to have at least 2 of them to have opened with 1 NT. You
transfer at the 4 level by bidding 4H. Partner must now bid 4S.
and you will then pass.
4.) With a Slam invitational hand: Partner opens with 1NT.
You hold: KQ9542 3 KQxx Ax
With this hand, you use the Jacoby Transfer: bid 2H, then partner
bids 2S, now you jump to game in Spades. This tells partner, I
have a better hand than I would have by bidding a Texas Transfer.
Texas Transfers are for game going hand, whereas using Jacoby
Transfer, and then bidding game, shows an even stronger hand.
It's up to the NT opening bidding to decide if and when to search
for slam.
5.) With a Definite Slam hand: Partner opens with 1NT.
You hold: AKQ954 3 Kxx Ax
With this hand, you transfer, then bid 4C, the Gerber asking bid,
so that if partner has both Aces, you can bid 7S. If partner
shows only one ace, 6 Spades is still a good bid. Granted, it
could go down, but it's not likely. Partner has 16 hcp.
The outstanding points are: SJ = 1 AKQJH = 10 AQJD = 7 CKQJ= 6
You have 7 sure tricks in your hand, and easily an 8th with the
King of Diamonds and partner has at least 3 1/2 to 4 tricks,
using the count of 3 hcp per trick.
Jacoby Transfers--Quiz Questions
1. Your partner opens one NT. What do you bid?
a) KQxxx xxx xxx xx
b) xxx xx KQxxx xxx
c) xxx KQxxx AQx xx
d) xxx KQxxxx Ax xx
e) KQxxx Kxxx Ax xx
2. You open 1NT. Partner bids 2H. What is your rebid?
Kx AKx Axxxx QJx
3. Your partner opens 1NT. You bid 2D (transfer to
hearts) and your partner bids 2H. What is your rebid with the
following hands?
a) Qx KJxxx xxx xxx
b) Qx KJxxx Axx xxx
c) xx KJxxx xxx Axx
d) xx QJxxxx xx KJx
4. You open 1NT. Your partner bids 2H and you bid 2
Spades. Your partner then bids 2NT, what do you bid?
a) xx AKx QJxx AKxx
b) xx AJx QJxx AKxx
c) AQx xx QJxx AKxx
d) Axx Kx QJxx AJxx
5. Your partner opens 2NT. You bid 3H. Partner bids 3s.
What should your next bid be holding:
a) KQJxx AQx Kx xxx
b) xxxxx AKQ x Jxxx
--------------------------------
Answers
1a) 2H, a transfer to spades
1b) Pass.
1c) 2D
1d) 4D
1e) your choice
2) 2S
3a) pass
3b) 3NT
3c) 2NT
3d) 3H
4a) 3NT
4b) Pass
4c) 4S
4d) 3S
5a) 4c - you want to get to slam, if possible.
5b) 3
********************
Written by Marcia West, of Fifth Chair Foundation -
www.fifthchair.org
The Fifth Chair Foundation is a not-for-profit corporation,
run by volunteers. They do not charge for their information,
however it does cost to produce their work, so donations are
very welcome. Please send your check or money order to:
Fifth Chair Foundation
3055 80th Ave SE Su 102
Mercer Island, WA 98040-2954
USA
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Bezel for these:
Rules of life
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow
is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they
make as
they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along
without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the
statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't
there the
first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION
PROBLEM.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky,
and I
thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
8. My reality check bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape
key.
10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through
peanut butter.
12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are
crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
14. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level,
then beat
you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in
the butt.
16. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
be
promoted
===========================================================
COLIN EXTRA
===========
OKScript Tip
************
I often find it useful to turn on RECORDING so that I have a
record of the hands that, unlike those in my RESULTS BROWSER,
will survive crashes. I find this to be a good way to preserve
hand records without clogging up my email with a lot of old
results.
To turn on our recording using OKWin 4.02 we simply click on
FILE...RECORDING and give the file a name. OKWin will append
".rec" as the file extension. For easy access I like to name
them with the day's date. To get these to sort properly (so that
the last one listed is the last game played) we need to identify
them year first, then month, then day (e.g. 2006-04-25.rec).
These will be listed thus:
2005-12-28.rec
2006-01-14.rec
2006-03-15.rec
2006-04-20.rec
2006.04-21.rec
2006.04-24.rec
2006.04.25.rec
Being lazy OKScript users we would love to be able to automate
this process.
Easy! Just copy these lines into your OKScript file:
MENU "Misc|Recording|On" OKbridge ~f{down}{down}{enter}
DELAY 1000
PUT %-date%.rec{enter}
MENU "Misc|Recording|Off" OKbridge ~f{down}{down}{enter}
The problem is that this won't work when you try to run it. Why
not?
The answer lies in the way your computer presents dates.
Depending on your operating system and setup, it will likely save
it in a mm/dd/yyyy or a dd/mm/yyyy format, where:
mm = 2 digits devoted to the month (e.g. 01 for January, 10
for October)
dd = 2 digits devoted to the date (e.g. 01 for the 1st of
the month)
yyyyy = 4 digits devoted to the year (e.g. 2006)
So our first objective is to change this to a yyyy-mm-dd format.
For technical reasons we would like to change those obliques
(i.e. "/") to hyphens ("-").
This may take a few minutes of stumbling around, depending on
your operating system.
Windows users should start their search with START -> CONTROL
PANEL or, perhaps, START -> MY COMPUTER. Look for the option to
change your date configuration. The window in question should
show you something like this:
Short date: mm/dd/yyyy
Separator: /
If and when you find this screen change the settings to:
Short date: yyyy-mm-dd
Separator: -
Save your changes, log onto OKBridge using OKWin, and give your
new OKScript button a try.
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thx to Lucy for this one...
I helped a lost little girl by taking her to the store's service
counter and having them page her mother.
I saw this as a chance to teach my 12-year-old daughter, Kylie, a
safety lesson.
"That girl did the right thing," I said. "Do you know why?
Because she asked a woman for help, not a man."
Kylie looked at me, mystified.
"Why on earth would I ask a man for help if I was already lost?"
============================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
FIRESIDE'S TEAM GAME
Our May winners are:
05-07-06 FIRST: TEAM BOBOWEN Bobowen, Bliss, Mytmoss &
Stlmark
SECOND: TEAM HAWES Hawes, Crickett, AndyH & R3
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder list
for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all welcome!
**NOTE** The Team Game is now being played once a month, on the
first Sunday of each month. If that happens to be a holiday
weekend, it will likely be played on the second Sunday. If you
are on my mailing list, watch your email for any schedule
changes.
********************************************************
A tragic event for Lynn (WISHTRIK)...her beloved dog Wishy was
killed by another dog in her own driveway. If you have seen any
pics of Lynn at the nationals, you surely noticed that there was
always a dog on her lap or nearby -- we can only imagine what it
is like to lose a dear pet that way. For some good news, one of
her other dogs had puppies shortly after that, and she has now
acquired another new dog to love.
**********************************************************
Bad News/Good News Department
The bad: We have to say goodbye....to Bernard (BLUEBEE) who has
found something (someone!) else to occupy his Friday nights
(London time)...He has been a commentator with Fireside for just
the longest time....and we will miss him very much. He does
promise to sub for us tho...so make sure you wish him well this
Friday June 2, his last day!
The good: Diane and Lynn are going to take over and share the
Friday 'afternoon' slot! How lucky we are to get another day with
our two favorite ladies!
Also, happy birthday to Diane (Belated by the time you read
this!) And best of luck to Lynn who is heading to Verona to play
in the World Bridge Championships!
**********************************************************
Slick Willy and Monique by Richard Pavlicek
Welcome to Hot Springs! You are invited to play a few
rounds of Chicago bridge against Willy and his mistress
Monique. But hold on to your wallet! Willy didn't get
his nickname for nothing. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/8x81.htm
Results of the May 2006 poll "Law Bids Are in Mutiny"
will be posted June 4 at 21:00 GMT. For these, and
everything related to the monthly events, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
**********************************************************
This is a call for all you writers out there....I am going to
take a break from writing this column, and this is a chance for
one of you to put your stamp on a column like this. Let me know
if you are interested -- I'll help you get started, and we send
you lots of tidbits to write about. A lot of it is standard
month after month... it's really fun to do (and I hope you have
enjoyed reading it for all these years)
So this will be my last column for a while...even if no one wants
to take over, keep your eye out for the team results, and
Richard's contest, either here or somewhere else in the
newsletter. It's been great, but I need to focus elsewhere for a
while...Love you all!
Hugs....Janice
P.S. Is anyone going to the regional in Penticton this month. I
am meeting Colin there....let me know if you are going to be
there! Let's get together.
**********************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who write
for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other commentators
and newsletter contributors also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might think,
especially mentoring games. We think our commentators give you
your money's worth when you choose private lessons, and they
really value your business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one
what you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
***********************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program? An
event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of us? A
question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for us to
visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to miss
anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside, it's
easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet, here are
some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has developed to
enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm (Note that IGITSAP must be in
CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
Events: (All times Pacific)
=================================
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
==============================
The first Sunday of each month, at 5:00 P.M.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists of past
winners.
To get on the mailing list for this game, email me at
firesider@aol.com.
DISCUSS LIST
============
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity, the Discuss
List. You can join that list by emailing them at
Discuss-Suscribe@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe' in the
subject line. You can also participate in the discussions via
the OKbridge web site now, just go to the members area at
www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss List there at the
bottom of your opening page.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
=================
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants. Email Kaltica to
schedule a session, usually available on the same Sunday as the
Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many keystrokes
while playing on OKB by sending prepared text to the table, opps,
or lobby at the push of a button. Try to download the program
BEFORE the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically in
your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game: Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers
very welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be an
open table for those waiting to join the team game. This table
will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players: Saturdays, 9.45 a.m.
Pacific. Novices are welcome in spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name, in the
table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions. After
clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section. Write an
email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer your
questions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
This is how the fairy tale goes today
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a Frog as she sat,
contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted
pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The Frog hopped into
the princess' lap and said: 'Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome
prince until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from
you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince
that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping
in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and
happy doing so'.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of
lightly sautéed Frog's legs seasoned in a white wine and onion
cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: "I don't
think so!
============================================================
BridgeHands eMag Newsletter
===========================
Reprinted with permission from Michael Nistler, editor
and owner of BridgeHands eMag Newsletter. Visit his site,
and subscribe to this excellent publication, by going to
http://www.bridgehands.com.
********************
Trumps Are Wild!
Drawing Trumps: Count on Your Opponents
"Counting to a bridge player is similar to an actor learning his
lines - it does not guarantee success, but he cannot succeed
without it."
George S. Kaufman, playwright, director and bridge player
Counting trumps should be a straightforward process. However,
most players do it the hard way. Here is the simple, yet
effective technique used by experienced players.
North
S 65
H Q7652
D 103
C KJ43
West East
S J943 S 10
H KJ109 H A43
D QJ2 D 98764
C 75 C A1062
South
S AKQ872
H 8
D AK5
C Q98
West North East South
- P P 1S
P 1NT P 4S
All PassWith only two sure losers, prospects are good. The HJ is
led, and it is time to think about the opponents' trumps. You
have six spades and dummy has two, a total of eight. Therefore,
the opponents have five. After winning the HJ, West leads a
second heart which you ruff. You do not need to keep track of
that trump. The opponents began the hand with five, and they
still have all of those. Don't draw trumps just yet. First things
first.
You must ruff your D5 while dummy retains some trumps. You cash
the DA-K and ruff a diamond with the S5. You need not worry about
that trump either. The opponents' five spades are still intact.
Now you are ready to draw trumps. Lead a spade to your ace as
both opponents follow suit. Two down, with three to go. When you
continue with the king, East discards a diamond. You know that
West has two trumps remaining, since only three of the opponents'
five spades have been accounted for.
Take the SQ, pulling one more trump from West. You now leave him
with his trump winner, and establish clubs. Your only losers are
one heart, one spade, and the CA.
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks Believer for this one
Go On,,,,,,,,,,you and a pd/friend try reading this out loud
without laughing!
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous
sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like
this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the
windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you
have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just
say I'm sitting at my desk, what do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start
with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You
have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
============================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK.
Clairvoyance
Some people claim to have the ability to see into the future and
predict what is going to happen!
Maybe there are truly clairvoyant individuals, but most who are
successful in anticipating events are hardly magical. Instead,
they correctly evaluate probabilities and make a well-reasoned
assumption as to what may transpire.
In bridge also, you can never be 100% certain of how the auction
is going to unfold, but you can make a fair estimate of how the
bidding might proceed. Then, you can make a choice that lays the
groundwork of a successful outcome for your side.
Take this hand: Vul against not, you hold as North:
S x H AQ10xx D Axxx C AQx
The bidding goes:
West North East South
1S 2H 2S 3H
3S 4H p p
4S duh?
At this point in the auction, North has no idea of what to do.
While a pass should logically be forcing to a bid or double by
partner, have you really ever discussed this exact kind of
auction?
This is a classic example of having blinkers on during the
auction, to gaily assume you're going to allowed to play a
vulnerable 4H against opponents that are known to have a spade
fit.
What we should have done, then, is bid a minor suit on the way to
4H!. This would have for certain established a forcing pass
situation if the opponents venture on to 4S, and given partner
some information about your hand on which make the high-level
decision.
So which minor to bid, clubs or diamonds? I'd go with clubs. Even
if partner has both red Kings, 5H may still go down. But if he
has the club and heart Kings, I'd venture to say that 5H will be
cold or at least have fairly reasonable play, as a double fit in
the rounded suits carries with it a fair chance of diamond
shortness in partner's hand.
Now look at this one, both sides vul as West:
S void H J9xx D Axx C AKQxxx
Right hand opponent opens 1S and it's your turn.
Basically, the choice here is whether to make a takeout double or
overcall 2C, bearing in mind there's a fair chance of a vigorous
spade raise on your left.
For you doublers, here's another question.
If the auction continues:
South West North East
1S dbl 3S* pass
pass
* pre-emptive raise
What now? Another double (still takeout) or 4C? Not so easy.
Defending 3S might well be the optimum result for our side if
partner has spade length and not that good a hand. But our
defensive capability might be reduced if partner has any length
in our club suit.
At the table, I overcalled 2C and then doubled the pre-emptive
raise when it came back around to me.
Partner's hand was:
S-- Q109x H-- xxx D-- Kxxxx C-- x.
Doubling and then bidding clubs leads to a very poor Contract
Doubling and then doubling again might result allow your side to
defend for a plus score, but only if partner doesn't remove to
4D. However, overcalling 2C and then doubling the 3S raise (still
takeout) nets a good result when East has an easy conversion for
penalties.
That's a wrap for this month. See you again in the July
issue.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thx Cookie 2 for this one!
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam.
His new nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me
to get undressed and have a seat until the Doctor could see me.
She said he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While
waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to
the exam table: a Tube of K-Y jelly;a rubber glove;and a beer.
When the Doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little
confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and
I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER
is for?"
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over
to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse.
Darn it ELAINE!
I said a "BUTT LIGHT"
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
LOTT versus the Four Point Principle
************************************
Two students asked me: "What is the difference between LOTT and
the Four Point Principle?
I was surprised by the question the first time I heard it, since
the only thing the two principles have in common is that they
concern how high we should bid. When the second student asked
the same question a few weeks later, though, I figured it might
be worth exploring.
Let us begin by defining both terms:
The 4 Point Principle:
Add up the High Card Points you expect from Partner, divide by
four and place that many cards of your choice (i.e. "dream cards"
or "goodies") into Partner's hand.
S- KJ10x H- Axx D- x C- xxxxx,
After 1NT:2C:2S, with silent opponents, give Partner S-Ace,
H-King and CAK Count your losers.
Even if Partner has no rounded doubleton, 4S may yet make on a
trump finesse or by establishing Clubs for a Heart pitch. Bid
4S.
The Law Of Total Tricks:
The total number of tricks that both sides can make is equal to
the number of trumps that both sides hold.
S- xx H- Qxxx D- KJxx C- Jxx
Pard RHO You LHO
1H 1S 2H 2S
Pass Pass ??
Not many extras, but your side should have 9 trumps to their 8+.
That means that there are 17+ tricks in total. If you can only
make 8 tricks in Hearts they should be able to make (17 - 8 =) 9
tricks in Spades. Bid 3H, despite your minimum.
The key differences between the two rules are:
1. LOTT is for when we have AT MOST half the deck. The 4PP is
for when we have AT LEAST that.
1) LOTT is for competitive and pre-emptive situations. If you
are fairly certain that the opponents will not be entering or
re-entering the auction, bid VALUES, not trump length.
2.) LOTT is for when down one is "good bridge". The 4PP is for
when it won't be
The 4PP is for OFFENSIVE bidding, especially for higher level
contracts (where LOTT is particularly inaccurate). In such
situations, if you go down you will often find that the opponents
can make nothing.
3.) The 4PP tells us how many tricks we can MAKE. LOTT tells us
how many we can AFFORD.
Assuming we have sufficient trump length, even down two or three
might be okay, since LOTT theorizes that the fewer tricks WE take
on offence the more THEY could take in THEIR suit contract.
4.) LOTT is the more complicated.
LOTT requires a lot of adjustments, especially for flat hands and
2-suiters.
The 4PP has only one, which kicks in when we have a void (since
one of Partner's goodies may well be "wasted" in that void suit).
5.) The 4PP is the more accurate but, of course, IT NEEDS TO BE.
The 4PP is often accurate to within half a trick. Without
adjustments, I find that it is far more reliable than
LOTT--especially when the big money is on the line with higher
contracts. PRACTICE IT ON EVERY HAND!
With LOTT, on the other hand, down one or two often won't make
much of a difference, especially if we are undoubled and/or not
vul.
6.) LOTT is well known. The 4PP is not.
At our local club, I once gave a lecture to the assembled novices
before game time. After play ended Kenny "KSired" Sired ran up to
me and demanded to know what steroids I'd been feeding these
neophytes. That is, what had I been teaching them? I explained
the 4PP as the beginner in question nodded and as Kenny stood in
stark amazement. Why had he asked? Because the two students had
bid up to 5H, making 650, on a hand where the rest of the field
had doubled 4S for +100.
Ain't bridge a FUN game? :)
------------
THX Colin,,,,,,,,,,,,I promise this Neophyte isn't on steroids!
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide sessions on
Tuesday or Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net) for more
information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for these:
ODDS & ENDS!
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
Q. What separates "60 Minutes" on CBS from every other TV
show?
A. No theme song.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most
popular name?
A. Obsession
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have
to count until you found the letter "A"?
A. One thousand.
Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield
wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other
day of the year?
A. Father's Day
Q. What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny)
is the most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.
Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a
party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
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F
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I
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R
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E
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S
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D
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Ocbober, 2001
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November, 2001
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December, 2001
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January, 2002
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February, 2002
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March, 2002
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April, 2002
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May, 2002
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June, 2002
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July, 2002
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August, 2002
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September, 2002
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October, 2002
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November, 2002
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December, 2002
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January, 2003
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February, 2003
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March, 2003
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April, 2003
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May, 2003
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June, 2003
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July, 2003
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August, 2003
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September, 2003
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October, 2003
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November, 2003
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December, 2003
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January, 2004
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February, 2004
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March, 2004
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April, 2004
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May, 2004
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June, 2004
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July, 2004
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August, 2004
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September, 2004
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October, 2004
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November, 2004
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December, 2004
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January, 2005
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February, 2005
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March, 2005
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April, 2005
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May, 2005
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June, 2005
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July, 2005
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August, 2005
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September, 2005
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October, 2005
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November, 2005
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December, 2005
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January, 2006
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February, 2006
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March, 2006
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April, 2006
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May, 2006
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June, 2006
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July, 2006
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August, 2006
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September, 2006
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October, 2006
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November, 2006
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December, 2006
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