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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT JANUARY 2006
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Winning With Wishtrik
Hand of the Month
Bridge for the Club Player
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Welcome to the January, 2006 issue of FireSide Chat, our
monthly newsletter written for and about our FireSide friends
and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and features.
Please feel free to write to us with any comments, questions,
ideas, or whatever, that you may wish to share. This newsletter
is for and about you, and we want you to feel welcome to
participate. Just email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending us
contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate everything
you send, and use as many as we can. Keep 'em coming, please!
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide Chat"
newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive these mailings,
please write to Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from
our mailing list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in these "open to
all" sessions, please note that FireSide Bidding Practice
Sessions operate with the support of those who attend. For
information about how to become a supporting member, please
contact Kaltica at kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at
moocake@bellsouth.net, or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions in all
the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication and
caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking of taking
private lessons, paying a professional to play tourneys with you,
getting involved in a group session mentoring program... most,
if not all, of our commentators and contributors to this
newsletter are available for those services. Just think how much
easier it is to learn from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2006 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Happy New Year :)
We have some fun new contributors to start out the new year.
Wishtrik sent us a great article (see Winning With Wishtrik),
and next month Michael Nistler, the owner of the site
"BridgeHands" that we told you about recently, will start
sharing articles with us from his monthly newsletter!
You can check out BridgeHands at: http://www.BridgeHands.com
********************
Things should be getting back to normal with the Fireside
schedule, after January 2! There will be no sessions on Monday,
January 2. We hope to see you all back at the regular sessions
after that, with your bidding shoes on!
********************
I need your help! My 'stash' of giggles for our "Giggle
Breaks" is getting awfully low... please remember to send
me any good, clean, non-offensive jokes that you run across.
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com or bb@wowway.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this warm and fuzzy grin:
Grandmas & Grandkids
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of
children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a
local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl
in the line said to the little fella.
Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother
knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little
girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger
across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy
looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why,
just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his
grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
============================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
As I sit reflecting on the last few weeks of lessons, I have come
up with two questions that we each need to answer when we bid any
bridge hand. I have asked my student partners after the bidding,
if I could close my eyes and see most of the actual hand they are
looking at. If the answer is yes, then they probably bid it well.
If the answer is no, then they have to rethink their auction
because we did not have a dialogue. Here are a few hands that
might make this clearer to all.
This is my hand:
S VOID
H QJ10xx
D x
C AK109xxx
What do you see? I see two suits, but the length issue is
critical. One suit is much longer than the other and that is the
important point I need to convey to partner. Partner opens 1D.
I must respond with 2C, not 1H. I plan on repeating my hearts
later but I must impress upon partner that my clubs are 7 in
length. This is logical good bidding which would allow partner
to decide intelligently where we should play this hand. If I
start with my shorter suit (hearts) first, partner will never
realize the true difference in length between my two suits
because each time I repeat the clubs, that will only add to the
length of my first suit, hearts!
So it will start, 1D-P-2C-P-2D-P-2H-P- then I will repeat the
hearts over any rebid by partner and it will be clear that the
clubs are longer than the hearts and I have at least 5 hearts,
which is exactly what I have. Did you do the same? Well done!
Second example:
S AK982
H QJ1072
D 42
C 2
What do you see? I see a two-suited, major suit oriented hand,
planning to show both suits to partner. To do that I need to
start with spades first then I will rebid hearts twice to show
the 5-5 nature of my hand. But this time an opp disrupted my
plan. 1D -( overcall)-? Would a negative double show this hand?
I know that does show the majors but does it promise 5-5 in both
of them? How is a partner to know he can bid 3 cards suits which
will be long enough for full support? A better and simple
auction is to respond 1S rather than double, planning on
rebidding hearts later on. That way you will clearly be showing
your hand to partner and not keeping secrets.
So the first question I strongly suggest you ask is whether your
partner will be able to see your hand if you bid it in such a
manner. Can he close his eyes and call off your approximate size
and shape? If the answer is no, then rethink the auction as
planned. And if the answer is yes then go bid away and enjoy!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide sessions on
Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge
time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of the game
may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A little late on this one, but we can all appreciate
these thoughts from Tuna:
HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if
you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're
serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than
single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but
now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every
sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or
something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two.
It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point
of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano
out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.
Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim
milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like
buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas
party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else
to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after
circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food
and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table,
like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa,
position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you
can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a
beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never
going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat, have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one
pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more
than one dessert? Labor day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,
have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just
around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but
rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the
other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO what a ride!"
============================================================
WINNING WITH WISHTRIK
=====================
CAPTAIN THE BIDDING
What is the meaning of captain?
The captain is the person in charge of the auction. She gathers
information from partner and eventually places the contract in
the right strain as well as the correct level. At some point in
every auction one hand should be designated as the captain and
the earlier that your partnership establishes the captain the
more accurate the final contract will be.
Who is the captain?
The captain is the person with the most information about her
partner's hand. This is why it is so important to define your
point count as well as establishing a trump fit as soon as
possible. Now partner as well as yourself has that information.
If possible you want the balanced hand to be the captain. This is
why we strive to show a stiff anytime you can. You are describing
your hand, which makes partner the captain.
What info does the captain need?
Some auctions enable you to narrow your hand type very quickly
while others take many more bids to show your shape as well as
your HCP. Quite often there may be several bids possible, which
gives pard info about your hand, therefore you choose the bid
that narrows your possible hand types the most. If you can define
your HCP to a 2 or 3 point range by choosing your bid that should
be your number 1 priority because now your pard will know how
many tricks you should be able to take which makes your
subsequent auction much easier.
Some hands you should show your HCPs first while others the shape
is defined first. How do you know which hands to bid your shape
versus your HCP? Also, how do you decide whether to describe your
hand or to have partner describe her hand to you. The easiest and
quickest hand types to describe are the balanced hands since you
can either open or rebid the appropriate number of NT.
We have said that the 2 most important things that your
partnership can define are the combined HCP held and what is the
best trump suit to play in. In some cases one person chooses the
level of your contract while their pard will choose the strain of
the final contract. Other times one person will place the strain
as well as the level of the final contract.
Can captaincy change during the auction?
It can and often does as each auction proceeds. We will determine
when and where at every bid.
Does every auction have a captain?
At some point every auction should have a captain. Determining
the exact time that this happens is the key to good bidding.
The captain of the auction collects information from partner
which enables her to place the final contract. But how do you
know whether to give or to receive information? Whoever can give
the most information usually should be the describer. How do you
choose a bid when there are several possible options to choose
from? You decide the most descriptive bid by weighing the
advantages versus the disadvantages of your possible bids.
EXAMPLES:
S xx
H xx
D AKxx
C AKQxx
What is correct opening bid?
There is no perfect bid that can be made to show this hand.
What are your choices?
1. 1D and rebid 2C
2. 1C and reverse to 2D
3. 1NT
Every one of these bids could work out so lets weigh the positive
versus negative aspects.
1.1D and rebid 2C
You have shown both of your suits but how does pard know which
suit is longer and your HCP range is still very wide. (12-17)
2.1C followed by 2D
You have conveyed your suit length and shown extra values but
your HCP range is still very wide. (16-21) It may be hard to
distinguish this minimum reverse from a game forcing reverse.
3.1NT opening bid
You have defined your point count but you may play from the wrong
side
S QJxxxx
H AQ
D x
C AKxx
What are your options?
1. Open 1S and rebid 3S
You have shown the strength of your hand but the spade suit lacks
the texture of a typical 3S rebid.
2.Open 1S and rebid 2C.
You have not narrowed your high card strength to a small range
and you have not shown 6 spades. You should be ok as long as
partner doesn't pass. But let's remember that partner strives to
bid over 2C and would only pass with a stiff spade. If partner
rebids 2S over 2C then you can raise to 3S. This would clarify
your hand strength as well as your shape.
S Axxxx
H x
D AKQxx
C xx
You open 1S and partner bids Jacoby 2NT so what are you going to
bid?
1. Bid 4D to show a 2nd 5 card suit
A 4D bid does show a 5-card suit but does this help partner? You
are showing 10 cards in your 2 suits but since your diamond suit
is solid it is irrelevant what partner's holding is in that suit.
xxx is the same as a singleton.
2.Bid 3H to show shortness in the heart suit
If you bid 3H this does show a stiff or a void in hearts with
undefined values. Hopefully partner can cue bid 4C and then you
can become captain again and Blackwood your side into a slam.
********************
Wishtrik (Lynn Deas) presides at our Thursday evening
Fireside sessions, starting at 5:30 pm OKbridge time.
For lesson information contact Lynn at: lynn@lynndeas.com
=================================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to my sister-in-law, Dianne, for this:
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is
deadly at Scrabble.
DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands!
=================================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are pleased to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
Taken from The 2005 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com.
********************
Vul: E/W North
Dlr: S S K3
H AJ93
D AJT83
C 74
South
S AQT5
H KQ84
D 952
C A9
West North East South
1NT*
P 2C P 2H
P 3S** P 4C^
P 4D^ P 4H
P 4S^ P 6H
All pass
* 15-17 HCP
** Heart fit, slam interest
^ Control cue bids
Opening Lead: CQ
North-South had agreed to cue-bid (or control-bid) first or
second round controls and found their way to a fine 6H contract.
At first glance, it appears to need no more than a diamond honor
onside if trumps behave. How would you play to maximize your
chances?
**********************************
S K3
H AJ93
D AJT83
C 74
S J982 S 764
H 2 H T765
D KQ4 D 76
C QJ652 C KT83
S AQT5
H KQ84
D 952
C A9
Contract: 6H Lead: CQ
********************
The critical play comes early. After winning the CA, start
trumps by crossing to the HA and leading the H9 to the queen.
This unblock in the heart suit pays off when West discards a club
on the second heart. Declarer has a finessing position over East
and can ruff a spade high and a club low, depending on how the
play continues.
Now declarer plays three rounds of spades, discarding dummy's
club, and plays a diamond. During the event, the West player
followed low and the DT held the trick. Declarer cashed the DA
and played a third diamond, but West had no answer. A black-suit
return allows declarer to ruff in dummy with the appropriate
heart and use the good diamonds to neutralize East's trumps.
Had West played a diamond honor on the first round of the suit
(usually the correct play from one honor doubleton or tripleton,
as well as the actual holding) declarer would have to guess the
layout to make the contract. Here, the duck would be effective.
********************
Hand and analysis by Eric Kokish & Beverly Kraft, courtesy of
the Daily Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc.,
Brampton, ON, Canada. Reprinted with permission.
(Special thanks to Lee Daugherty and Dann Kramer.)
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks again to Luc for another great giggle:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know
what pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."
===========================================================
BRIDGE FOR THE CLUB PLAYER
==========================
TRANSFER SEQUENCES
"JACOBY"
Transfer to a major, then pass: 0-7 HCP, 5+ card suit
With 5-5 in the majors, use "crawling Stayman" instead
With 5-4 in the majors, start with Stayman and bid your 5-card
major over a 2D rebid by opener.
Transfer to a major, then raise to three: 8-9 HCP, 6-card suit.
Transfer to a major, then raise to four: Slam?, 6+card suit.
Choosing to transfer at the two level and then raise to four
rather than transferring at the four level is a "mild slam try".
Your suit should be good. Partner should be top-heavy with "prime
cards" in order to move forward.
Transfer to a major, then bid 2NT: 8-9 HCP, 5-card suit.
Transfer to a major, then bid 3NT: 10-15 HCP, 5-card suit.
Transfer to a major, then bid 4NT: 16 HCP, 5-card suit.
This is the same as bidding a "Quantitative" 4NT directly, you
are just showing a 5-card major along the way.
Transfer to a major, then bid a new suit: Natural and forcing.
This has no upper limit of HCP, but is forcing to game. It
USUALLY implies slam interest as well.
If you are playing that a direct jump to three of a major shows
5-5 in the majors, then a transfer to one major followed by
bidding the other shows 5-4 (or rarely 6-5).
If you are playing "Smolen" instead and using direct jumps to 3
of a major for another purpose, then transferring to one major
then bidding the other shows 5-5 or better.
Transfer to a major, then JUMP in a new suit: "Splinter"
This shows a 6+-card major and a singleton (or void) in the suit
bid. This also shows slam interest. Opener evaluates their hand
for slam based upon this information. They will usually then
either cue-bid a control or sign off in four of the major.
"TEXAS"
TEXAS TRANSFERS are transfers at the four level. 4D transfers the
opening notrumper to 4H. 4H transfers the opener to 4S. Most of
the time, pass is the next bid. There are exceptions, as noted
below.
One of the BEST things about Texas transfers is that you can use
them in competition. When the opponents overcall through the
level of three clubs, then you can still use Texas. If they
overcall 3D, though, then 4D is better used as a Stayman-ish bid
(frequently 5-5 in the majors).
Texas, then pass: Normal, to play.
Texas, then 4NT: Ace-asking.
Hopefully, for your partnership, this is "ROMAN KEYCARD"
Blackwood. If you haven't yet learned it, it truly is not that
difficult. This is how you distinguish an Ace-asking 4NT from a
Quantitative 4NT: transfer at the two-level initially shows 5 and
is quantitative, while transferring initially at the four-level
shows 6+ and is Ace-asking.
Happy Bidding!
Jack Brawner
TrojanOwl@AOL.com
********************
Jack welcomes students of all levels for lessons.
Contact him for information at trojanowl@aol.com
=================================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this giggle:
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention
in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4
and 28 and 44?
"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon
Network!"
================================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
============
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Mini Winners
============
Thu Dec 1 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 69.79
Fri Dec 2 07:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 ldonna/redwing 4.14
Mon Dec 5 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 conroy/toddy 67.97
Tue Dec 6 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 alan524/basilk 1.42
Tue Dec 6 07:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 vross/wheels 1.49
Wed Dec 7 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 64.03
Wed Dec 7 02:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 kristenv/wheels 75.50
Fri Dec 9 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 sam143/wintaka 2.13
Sat Dec 10 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 bdugood/judydee 58.33
2 jhbdel/Kaltica 58.33
Mon Dec 12 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 nancor/POOKA 70.00
Tue Dec 13 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 judydee/mithril 65.91
Mon Dec 19 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 sannick/snag 57.60
Tue Dec 20 11:00 AM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 albertb/frank-1 49.29
Thu Dec 22 06:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 alan524/bridgboy 69.74
Sat Dec 24 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 etsand/moogal 3.96
Sat Dec 24 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 etsand/moogal 2.07
Thu Dec 29 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 68.06
********************
Some of our Flight B and C tourney stars:
albertb, arrow, ask1, bettyn, birdie, Desiree, ed4, Elgringo,
gmeier, gnosis, julie, kitkat, lee-1, macavity, potts, riggin,
sannick.
********************
And we wanted to include these games, which we think
deserve "honorable mention"!
Tue Dec 13 04:00 PM
2 bridgboy/Neophyte 63.19
Fri Dec 16 07:00 PM
2 Julie/potts 3.17
Wed Dec 21 09:00 AM
2 lee-1/riggin 2.95
********************
"Well Done" to all of you! :)
************************************************************
FIRESIDE'S TEAM GAME
Our December winners are:
12-04-2005 TEAM JW7 JW7, Grommet_, Jimm & Mannyd
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder list
for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all welcome!
**********************************************************
Our prayers are needed for JOY and her husband Ken. Ken recently
suffered a heart attack. His condition is serious but he is
fighting and hanging on despite the odds, and Joy reports that
the doctors are now cautiously optimistic.
Joy, our thoughts are with you and Ken. I know all your friends
here join with us in sending deeply felt get well wishes for Ken,
and love and support for you.
**********************************************************
Linda (REDLIN) did not have a good Thanksgiving!
The day before the holiday she was returning her cart to the
local grocery store when she was struck by a car. She received
six stitches by her right eye (which she said looked kinda awful
for a while), and had lots of aches and pains where the car hit
her, and more serious pain on her other side where she landed on
the ground.
Luckily none of the injuries were permanent, although she still
has a scar, and she is up and around, after much work with her
chiropractor and massage therapist. We here at Fireside are glad
to hear this good news of recovery!
She said she had hopes her Christmas would be much nicer than
Thanksgiving!
**********************************************************
Some really good news from DLOYE...new grandson Cameron Oliver,
just shy of four pounds now, is heading home from the hospital
after four weeks!
And he is just the cutest thing....check it out...
http://www.dloye.com/myblog/bBlog-0.7.4.tar/blog/?postid=133
We're happy for you, and all your family.
**********************************************************
Island of the Coconuts by Richard Pavlicek
Two bridge teams are stranded on an island and decide to play for
coconuts (much higher stakes than peanuts). Start the year
right! (Go nuts in January to avoid the fall rush.) Choose your
call on these six problems from a past tournament. Perhaps you
can even guess the location from my clues. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/8w65.htm
Results of the December contest "I Heard the Bells" will be
posted January 4, 2006 at 21:00 GMT. For these, and everything
related to the monthly events, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
**********************************************************
Hard to believe another year wrapping up....I hope your holiday
season has been warm and fuzzy and I send wishes for all the best
for 2006! It's not normally my style, but I'm going to close with
one of those poems we get every day in our email, and delete
without much thought. For some reason I stopped and read this
one, and realized it expressed the way I feel about each and
every one of you that I have met through bridge, OKbridge, our
newsletter and our team games. If you celebrate another holiday
instead of Christmas, as I do, just substitute that!
I have a list of people I know, all logged in my computer, And
now at Christmas time I have gone to take a look.
And that is when I realize that these names are a part,
Not of the computer they're stored in, but of my heart.
For each name stands for someone who has crossed my path
sometime,
And in that meeting they've become the rhythm in each rhyme.
And while it sounds fantastic for me to make this claim,
I feel that I'm composed of each remembered name.
And while you may not be aware of any special link,
Just meeting you has changed my life, a lot more than you think!
For when I do a Christmas E-mail that is addressed to you,
It's because you're on the list of people I'm indebted to.
And whether I have known you for many years or few,
In some way you have been a part of shaping things I do.
And now that Christmas has come, I realize anew,
The best gift life can offer is meeting people like you.
~author unknown~
Hugs, Janice
**********************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who write
for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other commentators
and newsletter contributors also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might think,
especially mentoring games. We think our commentators give you
your money's worth when you choose private lessons, and they
really value your business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one
what you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
***********************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program? An
event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of us? A
question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for us to
visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to miss
anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside, it's
easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet, here are
some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has developed to
enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm (Note that IGITSAP must be in
CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
January Events: (All times Pacific)
=====================================
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
==============================
Sunday, 5:00 P.M. January 8 and 22.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists of past
winners.
To get on the mailing list for this game, email me at
firesider@aol.com.
DISCUSS LIST
============
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity, the Discuss
List. You can join that list by emailing them at
Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe' in the
subject line. You can also participate in the discussions via
the OKbridge web site now, just go to the members area at
www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss List there at the
bottom of your opening page.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
=================
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants. Email Kaltica to
schedule a session, usually available on the same Sunday as the
Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many keystrokes
while playing on OKB by sending prepared text to the table, opps,
or lobby at the push of a button. Try to download the program
BEFORE the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically in
your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game: Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers
very welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be an
open table for those waiting to join the team game. This table
will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players: Saturdays, 11:00 a.m.
Pacific. Novices are welcome in spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name, in the
table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions. After
clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section. Write an
email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer your
questions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Gotta love our English language :) Thanks to Benson:
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The rubbish dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
3. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
4. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it
was time to present the present.
5. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
6. I did not object to the object.
7. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
8. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
9. They were too close to the door to close it.
10. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
11. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
12. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
13. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got
number.
14. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
15. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
16. I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
**********
Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example:
If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going
through the bough on a tree!
**********
Let's face it - English is a crazy language!
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple
nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we
find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig!
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one
of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that
run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wiseman and a wiseguy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a
form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going
on.
============================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
Bridge Terminology Revisited
I recall about 15 or 16 years ago reading an article in the
Bridge World by Jared Johnson titled "An Updated Bridge Glossary"
that I found quite amusing and provocative. I've been thinking
about the various expressions used in bridge conversation and
have come up with a list of the most familiar ones and what their
REAL meaning is. I've also interjected two or three that I
especially liked from the original Bridge World publication.
Instructive Error -- A mistake made by a novice.
Expert View -- A mistake made by someone who has an overly
exalted view of his own abilities. See also: cold bottom.
System Fix -- the soothing explanation you give to partner after
going for your third consecutive -800 since adopting the 8-10
point 1NT opening.
Choice of Slams -- a favourite tactic of players that are sailing
along in an auction and then suddenly realize that they are at
least two levels too high. The solution is to cuebid the enemy
suit, bid 5NT, or some new suit out of the blue, and make PARTNER
choose the final contract. It won't improve your result, but
will serve you well in the post-mortem when you can say that you
offered a "choice of slams" and partner dropped the ball by
picking the wrong one. Don't bore us with the irrelevant
observation that ALL contracts were going down, it was still
partner's fault.
Reverse attitude -- the differing views you and your partner may
have on the caliber of your game.
Avoidance play -- what happens when you ruff partner's winner
with your natural trump trick and avoid beating the enemy
contract.
Endplay -- Often the best way some married couples can think of
to improve their partnership after enduring another
recrimination- filled 44 percent game.
Threat card -- a reference to the habit that many of us have of
playing the exact card that dooms any chance we had of making the
contract.
Ruff* -- the last contract that partner bid up to that you had to
declare.
Sluff* -- What you would like to do with the partner that put you
in the last contract.
A good Canadian slam -- ten top tricks and an American on lead.
A sure beat -- defending 3NT with two sure tricks and a Canadian
on play.
Frivolous pscyh -- what you bellyache about to the director when
your RHO opens a six-count in third seat.
Standard bidding -- how you explain opening the SAME six-count in
third seat when the OPPONENTS call the director.
Partnership mix-up -- what happens when your new partner takes
your bald-faced lie "I ALWAYS have my bids" as the gospel truth.
Involving partner in the decision -- similar to the "choice of
slams" technique, but used mainly in game decisions. When YOU
have been invited to game and don't have the guts to make the
decision, simply make a bid that partner has about a 5% chance of
understanding and berate him for making the wrong decision
afterwards. See also: copout.
Razor-sharp defense -- A description of the self-infliction of
gaping wounds and the massive hemorrhaging of your results when
your partnership finds itself on defense more often than you can
really stand.
Throw-in -- the procedure by which your opponent gets whichever
of you or partner is booting the most tricks on defense on lead
as often as possible.
Negative double -- another way for you to get needlessly involved
in an auction you don't belong in.
Optional double -- Doubling to leave partner a variety of
options, none of them attractive.
Takeout double -- A double SO bad that you should be taken out to
the woodshed and firmly disciplined for your misdeeds.
Cuebid* -- A call usually followed by three passes and an
anguished scream.
Discouraging signal -- wincing in pain, rolling your eyes,
banging your head on the wall, vomiting on the table, take your
pick. Partner will know EXACTLY how much you liked the card he
just played.
Barometer Scoring -- A foolproof method of gauging your results
in a team match. Glance quickly over at the other table. If
your partners are rosy-cheeked and giggling, just try not to do
anything dumb, they are mashing the opponents up at their table.
If their complexion is normal and they are fairly serious, it's a
close match that will be decided at your table. If they are both
a deep shade of purple, tear up your scorecard, head for the bar
and save yourself the aggravation of a comparison. No matter
HOW good your results are, it ain't gonna be enough.
Falsecarding -- The brisk and confident explanation you give when
you forgot to give count in a suit that resulted in partner
throwing away the card he needed to keep to beat the contract.
Elimination play -- what may happen in a dark alley to the guy
that has just revoked four times, and twice bid out of turn in
the Open Pairs earlier that afternoon.
Seeking expert advice -- the process by which you solicit
opinions from the top local players on a bidding foul-up you had
during the session. You then carefully use only the 25% of
comments that support YOUR opinion in hashing out the auction
with your partner later on.
Going down in a cold contract -- how you describe partner's line
of play when he guessed wrong on which squeeze to play for.
Should be used sparingly, because while it may give you a brief
surge of elation, it has not proved to be a surefire winner in
being able to retain your partners for a long-term basis. Go
figure.
Obscure line of play -- your comment when an opponent plays the
hand well to make his contract. Fortunately, we don't see a lot
of that on OKB, it's more prevalent in live bridge. Sadly, it's
appears to be much easier to compliment an opponent in internet
bridge than it is to do the same in a face-to-face game.
Spurning the finesse -- a way of claiming to have made the expert
play just after going down in a contract that you could have
easily brought home.
Aggressive overcall -- mind loss so numbing that it brings
visions of lemming rushing off the cliffs to their doom. After
partner innocently asks why you bid your ragged four-card suit
into LHO's six-card holding after an opening bid on your right,
just say crisply "It's a bidder's game, pard. They greased me."
Sound like someone we know?
Fouled board -- the stench arising from the dog's breakfast you
and your partner made of the defense to the last hand.
Unblocking -- the process by which you throw your honour cards
and set up two extra tricks for declarer just after partner has
led from his four-card suit headed by the nine.
Rectifying the count for a squeeze -- a great riposte to use when
partner is wondering HOW you managed to punt an easy overtrick at
matchpoints.
Forcing pass -- a system popularized in New Zealand, Australia
and Poland where GOOD hands are passed and BAD hands are opened.
Your partner has a deeply-rooted suspicion that you are already
playing this bidding style without mentioning it to him
beforehand.
Distributional hand -- for most people, a good 6-5 two-suiter.
For Janice "Moogal" Kofman, 4432 distribution with a Jack. She'd
be turning cartwheels since her USUAL hand is 4333 with a NINE.
Rabies Rule -- when you don't know for sure if partner has
doubled for penalty or takeout, but notice him frothing at the
mouth or a pool of saliva on the card table, it's probably best
to leave the double in.
Richter Rule -- when you've overcalled one of two suits, LHO has
doubled and the volume of the double registers above 6.5 on the
Richter scale, you scurry out to the other suit. Not as reliable
now since the introduction of bidding boxes, but has a close
relative on OKB. If LHO's double appears a split-second after
you've made your bid, it's best to lace up the Nikes and scoot
off to your other suit.
(*Attribution -- Bridge World Magazine)
I am always on the lookout for "definitions" to add to my bridge
vocabulary. So if you have any suggestions or ideas, email me at
btreble@shaw.ca and you may see YOUR name in the Fireside
Newsletter in the near future.
********************
One interesting hand to close out the month from a local team
game: You pick up:
S A8xxx
H AKx
D xxx
C Kx.
RHO passes, you open 1S, and LHO overcalls 1NT, 15-18. Partner
bids 2NT, a limit raise or better in spades. The auction
continues:
East South(you) West North
pass 1S 1NT 2NT*
3D pass pass 4C
5D dbl 5H 6S
dbl pass pass pass
A heart is led and dummy appears with:
S KJx
H void
D AJx
C AQJ10xxx
Declarer pitched one of his diamond losers from table and glared
as RHO TRUMPED! Now a diamond came back and the 1NT overcaller
ruffed. Another heart and he was two down, the entire hand
being:
North
S KJx
H void
D AJx
West C AQJ10xxx East
S xx S Q109
H QJ10xxxxxxx H void
D void D KQ10xxxx
C x South C xxx
S A8xxx
H AKx
D xxx
C Kx
It turns out that 6S couldn't make when a heart was led. Even if
dummy ruffs HIGH, East will now have two natural trump winners.
North SHOULD have bid 6C, to suggest an alternate strain, and
THAT contract can never be defeated.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca) for more
information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks again to Benson for these giggles:
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of
her own. They like other people's.
A grandfather is a man grandmother.
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we
come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or
run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of
quarters for us.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like
pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and
also Why we shouldn't step on "cracks."
They don't say, "Hurry up."
Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don't have to be smart.
When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask
for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you
don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who
like to spend time with us.
**********
A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED.
"OH," HE SAID, "SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER
WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE
TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT."
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Third Seat Openers
******************
When should we open light in third seat?
Let us break down the hands into four groups:
1. Near openers with major suit length.
2. Very light openers with major suit length.
3. Near openers with only minor suit length.
4. Very light openers with only minor suit length.
Let us say that a "near opener" is 11-12 points or
a good 10. "Very light opener" would refer to a hand
with at most 9 or 10 bad points.
With 11-12 (the "near opener") we have to assume that
the chances are rather good that the hand will be passed out
if we don't open. This is fine if we have MINOR suit length.
If we open with such a hand we stand to be "outmajored" by
the opponents, even though we might have slightly more in
terms of HCPs than they do. With type #3 hands--near
openers with minor suit length only--we should pass.
Things are a little tougher with 11-12 and MAJOR suit
length--especially SPADE length. Now the odds of a plus
are tilted in our favour. Our greatest fear is that PARTNER
might get us too high for a plus. Thus, if playing Drury we
should likely open such hands at MPs. At IMPs, though, we
might Pass, according to the "no game, no bid" dictum. We
can always back in for a part score later if LHO opens.
So what about very light openers? Here, vulnerability
plays a big role. If vulnerable we Pass.
If NOT vul we tend to Pass with major suit length;
we can always compete later. This being the case, lead
direction is not as important a factor in deciding whether
or open or Pass (again, we intend to overcall later anyway).
In fact, if anything, we should be more inclined to open a
WEAK major than a STRONG one so as to benefit from its
pre-emptive value.
Not vul with MINOR suit length and a very light hand we
might open in order to create an illusion of strength--in
essence, we are psyching. In close decisions we might let
lead direction play a role: Pass with a weakish minor suit
but opener with a stronger one.
In fourth seat our ONLY concern is making a plus. We'll
save that discussion for another day, though. :)
Happy New Year, everyone!
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide sessions on
Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net) for more
information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks again to Pringle for this giggle:
KIDS IN SCHOOL
Kids in school think quickly...and will make you laugh as long
as they aren't yours!
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his
father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now,
Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
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May, 2005
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June, 2005
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July, 2005
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August, 2005
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Sept., 2005
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Oct., 2005
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Nov., 2005
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Dec., 2005
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January, 2006
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February, 2006
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March, 2006
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April, 2006
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May, 2006
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June, 2006
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July, 2006
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August, 2006
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Sept., 2006
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Oct., 2006
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Nov., 2006
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Dec., 2006
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