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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT DECEMBER 2005
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Welcome to the December, 2005 issue of FireSide Chat, our
monthly newsletter written for and about our FireSide friends
and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and features.
Please feel free to write to us with any comments, questions,
ideas, or whatever, that you may wish to share. This newsletter
is for and about you, and we want you to feel welcome to
participate. Just email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending us
contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate everything
you send, and use as many as we can. Keep 'em coming, please!
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide Chat"
newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive these mailings,
please write to Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from
our mailing list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in these "open to
all" sessions, please note that FireSide Bidding Practice
Sessions operate with the support of those who attend. For
information about how to become a supporting member, please
contact Kaltica at kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at
moocake@bellsouth.net, or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions in all
the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication and
caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking of taking
private lessons, paying a professional to play tourneys with you,
getting involved in a group session mentoring program... most,
if not all, of our commentators and contributors to this
newsletter are available for those services. Just think how much
easier it is to learn from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2005 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
December scheduling for FireSide Sessions:
-----------------------------------------
Today (Thursday Dec 1) Pooka's 11am session
is cancelled due to a very important, last minute
appointment that he has to be at.
The rest of the first part of the month we
should be pretty well back to normal, but we
will be missing some sessions around the holidays.
Pooka will be gone Dec 26, 29, and Jan 2.
BlueBee will be gone Dec 23 and Dec 30.
We are unsure of other plans at this time,
so please be understanding if you look for a
session and can't find us! We'll do our best
to be there, but this time of year it is hard
sometimes.
********************
Christmas Wishes
I wish this Christmas would be filled with joy
And presents would be given to every girl and boy.
I wish that Christmas would be filled with love
So that blessings would be sent from up above.
I wish that everyone in the world could have food to eat
I also wish they could have shoes on their feet.
I wish the hate today would end
I wonder why everyone just can't be friends.
I don't wish for presents or much for me
I just wish that everyone would be free.
I wish the homeless would find somewhere to live
I wish the selfish would learn to give.
I just wish the world would become a better place
And it wouldn't be based on my race.
La'Toya Smith
Carroll Jr. High
It still amazes me what turns up when I decide to "Google"
something :) I found some neat websites by typing in "Christmas
Essays". I found this poem at:
http://www.monroe.k12.la.us/mcs/showcase/holiday/poetry02/
I wish Happy Holidays for all of you!
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com or bb@wowway.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this giggle:
Can you guess which of the following are true and which are
false?
1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up
in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10
years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being
indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every
minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until
they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in
lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14 The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of
day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to
search for water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without
turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer
and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State
anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture
of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the
milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same
airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a
tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut
from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant
surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th
cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.
See answers below
They are all true....Now go back and think about #16
============================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
Last month we talked about low level doubles and their
effectiveness for us, scorewise as well as psychologically.
Let's look at another example. We are dealt:
S 932
H A1087
D 32
C A1042
Partner opens 1NT and we do not think much of our game prospects.
Even if partner has a maximum, game with our 8 points, while
tempting, will be anti-percentage. Fortunately, RHO comes rushing
in with a two-suited bid of 2S, showing spades and one minor.
That eliminates all our problems -- we have a clear cut answer:
we double for penalty. This is another reason that I strongly
dislike the conventional treatment of "stolen bid" that is
popular. We do not want to lose the ability to double them for
business whenever they step out. Our side clearly has the balance
of power and we should double them for penalty regardless of the
vulnerability. We lead a trump to stop any ruffs on the dummy and
this is what declarer sees:
Dummy: S-Jx H-KJxx D-xxx C-J9xx
Declarer: S KQ10xx H-xx D-Qxxx C-Kx
Declarer sees a lot of losers with a heart guess as well as a
club problem. Four trump tricks might be all that declarer gets,
for down four for minus 800 or 1100 depending on the
vulnerability. Even guessing the hearts, no easy task, will lead
to down three, a nice return on a hand you were going to play at
1NT.
We have all seen players jump in with both feet and act over 1NT
with these types of hands. We can strike back and just sharpen
our doubling ax, ready to punish them as soon as they step out.
Whenever we have the balance of power and we know they are
overboard, let us make a pledge to double them over and over
again. Our scores will improve overnight! Stay tuned, more
examples to follow.
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide sessions on
Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge
time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of the game
may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this look at the past:
Comments made in the year 1957:
"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are,
it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."
"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be
long before $2000 will only buy a used one."
"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A
quarter a pack is ridiculous."
"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime
just to mail a letter?"
"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to
hire outside help at the store."
"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would
someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving
the car in the garage."
"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it
impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be
wearing their hair as long as the girls."
"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since
they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The
Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell " or "damn" in
it.
"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible
to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even
have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in
Texas."
"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract
for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if
someday they'll be making more than the president."
"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would
be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few
married women are having to work to make ends meet."
"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire
someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars
seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."
"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government
takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are
electing the best people to congress."
"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I
seriously doubt they will ever catch on."
"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a
weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."
"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital
is too rich for my blood."
"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."
============================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are pleased to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting
it for us.
Taken from The 2005 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: none
Dlr: North
South
S Q87652
H K764
D 8
C 54
West North East South
1H Dbl. ?
South has little enough but when North opens 1H, things perk up
immediately. The question for now is what should South bid after
East's double?
********************
S 4
H AQ832
D A7
C A9732
S 93 S AKJT
H J95 H T
D QT9532 D KJ64
C K8 C QJT6
S Q87652
H K764
D 8
C 54
*******************
I [Mike Lawrence] will tell you a story of what happened at one
table where this hand was played. South bid 1S, hiding the heart
support for the moment. He did, after all, have six spades. West
bid 2D and East bid 3D. Now South found his heart support and
bid 3H. West bid 4D, North bid 4H, and East bid 5D. A little
war going on here.
The bidding from South has been poor up to now and as a result
his side was in a no-win situation.
South felt he had done more than enough and he passed. North
doubled 5D and it went down one trick. It could have been down
two if North had led his singleton spade and later under- led the
HA to South's HK for a spade ruff. But 4H was cold so getting a
little penalty was a poor reward.
The problem was that South's initial bid lacked foresight. His 1S
bid left the door open and the rats came in. Take a look at the
West hand. He was right to bid 2D but do you think he would have
bid 4D if South had correctly raised to 3H? South should not
have wasted time talking about spades; he should have spent the
time talking about hearts, raising to either 3H or 4H as the mood
fit.
********************
Hand and analysis by Michael Lawrence, courtesy of the Daily
Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc., Brampton, ON,
Canada. Reprinted with permission. (Special thanks to Lee
Daugherty and Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Why did the sailors stop playing cards?
The captain stood on the deck.
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
Subject: Mother's Lament
MONA LISA'S MOTHER:
"This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I
spent on braces?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS'S MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still should have
written!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"Why can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you know
how hard it is to get this schmutz off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER:
"All right, if you're not hiding your report card inside your
jacket, take your hand out of there and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the
other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can
kiss your allowance good bye!
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb.
Now turn it off and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight
is long past your curfew!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done
something about your hair?"
MOSES'S MOTHER:
"That's a good story! Now tell me where you've really been for
the last forty years!
===========================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
============
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Mini Winners
============
Tue Nov 1 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 albertb/kitkat 60.96
Tue Nov 1 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 albertb/kitkat 67.16
Sun Nov 6 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 sam143/wintaka 2.33
Mon Nov 7 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 61.67
Tue Nov 8 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 cod/tuna 76.93
Mon Nov 14 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 arlene/captain 63.69
Mon Nov 14 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 fpdoc/POOKA 78.12
Thu Nov 17 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 sam143/wintaka 2.14
Tue Nov 22 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 71.88
Wed Nov 23 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 lucinha/wheels 3.12
Fri Nov 25 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 72.22
Wed Nov 30 02:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 Kaltica/moogal 69.07
********************
Some of our Flight B and C tourney stars:
albertb, arrow, ask1, birdie, desiree, ed4, elgringo, frank-1,
gmeier, gnosis, hawes, imogene, julie, kitkat, lee-1, macavity,
marys, one236, pollye, potts, riggin, sannick, shade, tanis,
todd, virgil.
********************
And we wanted to include these games, which we think
deserve "honorable mention"!
Thu Nov 3 11:00 AM
2 gordon/imogene 63.61
Thu Nov 3 12:30 PM
3 analisa/oink 60.12
Tue Nov 15 06:00 AM
2 bridgboy/rcoop 72.01
Sat Nov 26 05:30 PM
2 Kaltica/moogal 58.86
********************
"Well Done" to all of you! :)
************************************************************
FIRESIDE'S TEAM GAME
Our November winners are:
11-20-2005 TEAM GAUS271 Gaus271, Mbar, Judydee & Bdugood
(Team Gaus271 was missing one of its regulars -- WOOHOO -- see
below!)
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder list
for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all welcome!
**********************************************************
Congratulations to our team game player Mary Rassieur (WOOHOO)
who became a life master at the fall NABC in Denver, and was
featured in the Daily Bulletin. She went over the top playing in
the educational fund knockout teams, bracket 6. Well done, Mary!
**********************************************************
Our best wishes and congratulations to DLOYE, who has a new
little grandson, Cameron, to coo over. And we do mean little....
a 32 week preemie, he is getting stronger and gaining and posing
for Grandma's camera! See for yourself at
http://www.dloye.com/myblog/bBlog-0.7.4.tar/blog/
All our love to Tara and Darryl, and brother Quentin and the rest
of the family on the new addition to the family!
**********************************************************
Take a moment and read the Opinion piece in the New York Times by
Sharon Osberg (world champion and partner to Warren Buffett) on
the decline in popularity of bridge in the general public. She
also some thoughts on how to approach the younger generation to
spark their interest.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/27/opinion/27osberg.html
She mentions the new ACBL site, www.bridgeiscool.com, directed at
the junior crowd....if you know some young person who might be
intrigued, send them over there!
**********************************************************
The Daily Bulletin in Denver ran a feature on a free web site
with lots of goodies for bridge players:
www.bridgehands.com
There is a bridge encyclopedia, system notes, book and product
reviews, and all the NABC and WBF Bulletins going back to 1996!
**********************************************************
Congrats to Lynn Deas (WISHTRIK) who followed up her summer NABC
(Atlanta) win in the Wagar with a win in the women's B-A-M in
Denver! We also congratulate our other commentators who
attended -- BRIDGBOY, FREDW3 and DIANEW -- whose name were
liberally sprinkled throughout the results in daily bulletin
pages each day. We look forward to having you all back with us
here at Fireside... we missed you all!
**********************************************************
I Heard the Bells by Richard Pavlicek
"...on Christmas Day. Their old familiar carols play."
As declarer, you may also have "heard the bells" when you
are inspired to make the winning play. Test your auditory
perception on these six problems. "And wild and sweet, the
words repeat, of peace on Earth, good will to men."
http://www.rpbridge.net/8x57.htm
Results of the November poll "Fair Winds on the Plate"
will be posted December 4, 2005 at 21:00 GMT. For these,
and everything related to the monthly events, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
**********************************************************
Happy, happy holidays to you all...and a good year (in bridge and
all things) in 2006!
Hugs...Janice
**********************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who write
for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other commentators
and newsletter contributors also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might think,
especially mentoring games. We think our commentators give you
your money's worth when you choose private lessons, and they
really value your business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one
what you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
***********************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program? An
event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of us? A
question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for us to
visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to miss
anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside, it's
easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet, here are
some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has developed to
enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm (Note that IGITSAP must be in
CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
December Events: (All times Pacific)
=====================================
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
==============================
Sunday, 5:00 P.M. December 4 only, due to the holidays.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists of past
winners.
To get on the mailing list for this game, email me at
firesider@aol.com.
DISCUSS LIST
============
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity, the Discuss
List. You can join that list by emailing them at
Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe' in the
subject line. You can also participate in the discussions via
the OKbridge web site now, just go to the members area at
www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss List there at the
bottom of your opening page.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
=================
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants. Email Kaltica to
schedule a session, usually available on the same Sunday as the
Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many keystrokes
while playing on OKB by sending prepared text to the table, opps,
or lobby at the push of a button. Try to download the program
BEFORE the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically in
your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game: Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers
very welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be an
open table for those waiting to join the team game. This table
will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players: Saturdays, 11:00 a.m.
Pacific. Novices are welcome in spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name, in the
table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions. After
clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section. Write an
email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer your
questions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
I came across this and thought it was a good one-stop source for
all needed info regarding health and diet.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not
make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a
nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables
to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good
source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop
can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and
vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the
world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We
all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on
the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing,
right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid
vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is
one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one,
etc.
Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the
bench press. What did he mean?
A: "Spotting" for someone means you stand over him while he blows
air up your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs;
though if you find that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're
going in, you probably ought to reevaluate your exercise program.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain-No Pain.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. I
hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about trying to live a longer and healthier life.
============================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
Getting Tough
One of the more distressing trends in bidding is the almost total
abandonment of the old-fashioned penalty double. In it's place,
we've seen the negative double extrapolated far beyond it's
original usage, in ways that verge on the ludicrous. The negative
double as a vehicle for responder to show the unbid suits and
enough points for some kind of action, was intended for one
auction only. That's when partner opens the bidding one of a
suit and there is an overcall on your right. Period. Negative
doubles do not enter the equation when partner has made a takeout
double and there is a bid on your right, as he's asked you to
choose the trump suit. They also don't apply when you hear 1NT
from partner and a bid on your right. To see why, let's take a
gander at these three sequences.
a) 1C (1D) dbl
b) (1D) dbl (1H) dbl
c) 1NT (2H) dbl
Why is the first auction a negative double situation and the
other two penalty? I quote from renowned bridge teacher Audrey
Grant in the Club Series: When the opening bid is one of a suit,
there is a wide range of points (12-21) and distributions
(balanced or unbalanced). That is why it makes sense for auction
a) should be a negative double, because opener's hand is a major
unknown other than he has 12 or more points, and responder needs
some descriptive mechanism to show his hand. On auctions b) and
c), we know a fair bit more about partner's hand. In the second
example, he's shown opening values and support for the unbid
suits. On the last sequence, we're facing 15 to 17 points and a
balanced hand. The principle of the negative double is that
it's used when partner's first action hasn't narrowed the range
or distribution of his hand. When partner makes a takeout
double, he' s advertised the distribution of the hand, although
the range isn't yet confirmed. When partner opens 1NT, we know
both the pointcount and shape of the hand. In a low-level
auction, the less we know about partner's hand, the more doubles
should tend to be for takeout. If we possess a good deal of
information, the meaning of the double should now be for
business, wanting to exact our pound of flesh from the opponents
for their indiscretion. Before we move on, let's touch briefly
on a fourth auction:
d) 1S (p) 1NT* (2D)
dbl
The 1NT response here was a one-round force. Some, including
Colin "Kaltica" Ward, might suggest the double here by opener is
for takeout. That's because a forcing 1NT responder hasn't
defined his values and distribution other than being 6 or more
points and usually less than a game force. You can argue with
some justification, therefore, that it's reasonable to use
opener's double for takeout here. Let's say opener has:
S-AJxxx H-AQx D-x C-KJxx
With 15 points, opener would like to take further action, but
what? 3C puts all your eggs in one basket of there being a fit
in a black suit. To be more precise, you're looking for a club
fit as the likelihood of a spade mesh has diminished somewhat
with the 1NT response. This hand is playable for both clubs and
hearts, and has enough defense to be happy with defending 2D if
partner leaves your double in.
Having identified the proliferation of takeout-oriented doubles
and the virtual extinction of the bloodthirsty swing-of-the-axe
double, the next question is: why has this unseemly development
occurred? Unfortunately, there's no way to sugarcoat the brutal
truth that the quality of defense amongst a fair number of
players has plummeted dramatically. To make a long story short,
if you don't have much confidence in the ability of your
partnership to come up with the optimum defense on a hand, the
penalty double will be used sparingly if at all. I've watched
hands that a sizeable penalty was there for the taking and
enquiring afterwards why the red card wasn't brought out. The
excuses were different but the underlying message was the same:
"I knew in my bones that we should be penalizing their contract
but was afraid we'd kick one or two tricks and that's why I bid
instead." With that kind of attitude, there 's little prospect
of improving your game to a highly competitive level. To make
strides in the game of bridge, you have to learn two things above
all. One is to double when the opponents get out of line, and
the other is to follow up with the best defense to make them
think twice before crashing your party again in the bidding. In
the long run, although you may have to endure serious pain in the
meantime, it's best to make those doubles, watch a few tricks
slip away, and use that experience to tighten up your defense.
Dodging the issue totally by casting aside penalty doubles might
lessen the short-term failures but offers little in the way of
long-term success.
To illustrate my point, I'll submit two hands that came up in one
week alone, where the boat was seriously missed by not making a
penalty double:
1) S-Axxx H-xxx D-Ax C-K10xx
No one is vulnerable, playing teams.
LHO Partner RHO You
Pass 1NT pass 2C
2NT pass 3D ?
The person with this hand bid 3S, and was considering 3NT
instead. With neither side vulnerable, double is a big favorite
compared to bidding, for a lot of reasons:
i) at least 26 combined HCP to their 14 or less
ii) LHO is a passed hand, so can't have opening values.
iii) Partner, who knows you should have invitational or better
values for your Stayman enquiry, could have bid a major but
hasn't. So this hand could be a serious misfit for the
opponents.
iv) Even if the opponents have an eight-card diamond fit, Ace and
another trump will kill any club ruffs.
Partner has Jxxx of diamonds and QJx of clubs as part of his 1NT
opening. RHO wanted to kill his partner when he showed the minors
in the face of a strong auction, being obliged to choose diamonds
with 4-6 in the majors, two small diamonds and a singleton club.
The final contract was 4S, going down on a heart ruff, whereas
3NT might have come home. That's irrelevant, though, as 3D
doubled was losing two trumps, three clubs, two spades and maybe
a wash trick for +500 or +800. LHO, who was quite a joker,
thought the result quite amusing. And he'll still be laughing
time and again unless you learn to instill some fear in him with
a double when it's called for.
Here's the other exhibit, and to be fair, this one wasn't as
clearcut. However, a little thought would have been enough to
lead to the right decision.
2) S-Jxx H-AK D-xx C-KJ9xxx
They're vulnerable and you aren't this time:
LHO Partner RHO You
1S pass 1NT 2C
2D dbl 2H ?
1NT wasn't forcing in this case, so do the opponents have a
diamond fit? No, as partner made a penalty double. Do they have
a resting spot in spades? Probably not, as there hasn't been
immediate support on your right. How many combined points do
they have? Give partner 9-12 for his double, and here they are
at the two-level on a combined 17-19 points. Are the cards
laying favorably for the opponents? Assuredly not, as you have
clubs behind the 1NT responder, and partner seems to be ready to
take care of the pointed suits, diamonds and most likely spades
as well. Do the opponents have an eight-card fit? Even that
isn't clear, we only know that LHO has nine cards or more in
spades and diamonds, and may not have a lot of enthusiasm for
hearts. You also have a standout lead, a top heart, for a free
glance at dummy and then decide where to proceed from there.
Normal defensive expectations for an overcall would be 2 tricks,
you have three likely tricks and partner's itching to nail them
for a penalty. With this hand, I would expect 2H doubled to go
down 8 times out of 10, and often quite a bit. The entire hand
was:
Opener
S-AK9x
H-J10x
D-K108xx
C-x
You Partner
S-Jxx S-Q9xx
H-AK H-Q9x
D-xx D-AQJ9
C-KJ9xxx C-10x
Responder
S-xx
H-8xxxx
D-xx
C-AQxx
Opener's shape isn't quite what you'd expect, but even with
declarer buying three-card heart support, two rounds of hearts
and a diamond switch brutalizes their 2H contract to the tune of
+500 or +800 your way. At the table, overcaller passed and in
the discussion afterwards suggested a double of 2H in balancing
chair by partner. That's off base a fair ways, in my view. It's
subjecting him to intolerable pressure when he's already made one
encouraging action in doubling 2D, to expect a double of 2H on
top of that with a soft 11-count. It's overcaller that has
better-than-expected defense for his action, knows the opponents
have less than half the deck and that the hand is laying badly
for them. Finally, he has a standout lead with a top heart. When
the opponents go set an inglorious down three, there's always a
lively exchange which partner should have been doubling. On this
hand, a lot depends your overcalling style, particularly
nonvulnerable. If you overcall soundly, then maybe it's advancer
that should do the doubling. However, if your style is to take
light initial competitive action, then the overcaller himself,
with a few extras, should be advertising them with a double at
his second turn.
That's it for now, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and the best
of the New Year to you all and we'll see you again in 2006.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca) for more
information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly
bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer,
or any physical sport?"
"No. I play bridge with my wife."
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
A Major Problem
***************
Partner has opened 1NT (15-17) and you have an invitational
hand with 5-5 in the majors. What would such a hand look like?
Well, the "5-5? Come alive!" rule applies here since the 1NT
opening guarantees a fit. Using our 4 Point Principle we might
wish to force game with as little as:
S- QJ10xx H- QJ10xx D- xx C- x
After all, if Partner has AK in both majors--the 4 goodies
we expect for our 4 Point Principle--we would certainly want to
be in game. Take away our concentration of values, though, and
game may require a good fit, good texture and/or some extras
from Opener.
S- Qxxxx H- Q10xxx D- Qx C- Q
We have more HCPs but we are going to need some serious
help in those majors for any game to make.
Playing SAYC, let us review our options as Responder:
1. 2C, Stayman?
This may work if Opener has the decency to show a 4-card
major but what if s/he doesn't? 2H or 2S by you now may
be passed by a partner with two cards in that major and
three in the other. In essence, then, 1NT:2C:2D forces
RESPONDER to guess OPENER's better major. Not good.
2. 2H, transfer to Spades?
This is not an option because once Opener rebids 2S any
three level rebid by Responder (e.g. 1NT:2H:2S:3H) will
be a game force.
3. 2D, transfer to Hearts, then 2S?
Yes, this is the ticket. But is 1NT:2D:2H:2S forcing?
All the SAYC notes say on this subject is that 2S is not
GAME forcing: "If, after the transfer is accepted, responder
bids a new suit, that is natural and game forcing (except for
1NT-2D-2H-2S which is not)."
Experts disagree on whether the 2S rebid is a ONE round
force or not forcing at all. This being the case, absent
discussion, we have to treat as a one round force with any new
partner; better to end up in 3S down one than languish in 2S
making seven!
Having decided to treat 2S as forcing for one round, with
any minimum Opener should bid 2NT (denying a good fit, as with
S-432 H-K7) or, far more often, 3H or 3S as preferences.
With stronger hands, after 1NT:2D:2H:2S Opener can make
game tries in the minors, jump to game in either major, jump
cuebid in a minor (in case Responder is interesting in slam)
OR show poor support for either major by bidding 3NT.
Since Responder may be using the forcing 2S rebid as
part of a slam try, Responder can now cuebid or Blackwood
(i.e. over any SUIT rebid by Opener) towards slam. But why
would Responder want to start with 1-round forcing bids like
the 2D transfer and 2S rebid if interested in slam?
The answer comes in the fact that Responder may want to
delineate a hand with superior Hearts (say, 5-6 in the majors)
from a 5-5 or 6-5 2-suiter. To illustrate:
Opener: S- Kxx H- Axx D- Axxx C- KQx
Responder: S- Axxxx H- KQxxxx D- x C- Ax
1NT 2D = Transfer to Hearts.
2H 2S = 1-round force, 5-5 (for now).
3H 4C = Cuebid slam try with superior Hearts.
4D 4NT = Blackwood.
5S 6H = Choice of majors.
Pass
Knowing that Responder's Hearts are superior Opener
passes 6H. If Hearts are 2-2 6H may make even if Spades
are 4-1.
The general rule remains intact, then: with invitational
or stronger hands we Stayman with one or two FOUR card majors
but transfer with only 5+ carders.
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide sessions on
Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net) for more
information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this final giggle:
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your
troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give
you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct
him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor
friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
=============================================================
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