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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT NOVEMBER 2005
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Bridge For the Club Player
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Welcome to the November, 2005 issue of FireSide Chat, our
monthly newsletter written for and about our FireSide friends
and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and features.
Please feel free to write to us with any comments, questions,
ideas, or whatever, that you may wish to share. This newsletter
is for and about you, and we want you to feel welcome to
participate. Just email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending us
contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate everything
you send, and use as many as we can. Keep 'em coming, please!
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide Chat"
newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive these mailings,
please write to Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from
our mailing list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in these "open to
all" sessions, please note that FireSide Bidding Practice
Sessions operate with the support of those who attend. For
information about how to become a supporting member, please
contact Kaltica at kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at
moocake@bellsouth.net, or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions in all
the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication and
caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking of taking
private lessons, paying a professional to play tourneys with you,
getting involved in a group session mentoring program... most,
if not all, of our commentators and contributors to this
newsletter are available for those services. Just think how much
easier it is to learn from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2005 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
I need Giggles! I count on all of you to send me fresh
"funnies" to use in this newsletter! There are several
very faithful "regular" contributors, but my stockpile of
jokes is getting low. Please remember me when you read a
good joke... I can use all the help I can get.
Speaking of Giggle Breaks: I hope you all realize that,
first and foremost, I appreciate EVERYTHING you send us.
Many, in fact most, of the jokes tend to 'make the rounds'
though -- and I very often receive the same joke from several
of you at the same time, or within a short time of each other.
I try to keep the first copy I get, and credit that person with
sending the joke -- but in reality I may get that joke from
6 of you. I'd like to thank all of you, but that could get
pretty confusing if I tried to do every month!
I also get a lot of jokes that are 'reruns' of jokes we've used
in past issues. I don't always recognize them, or if they're
really good sometimes I reuse them -- a good joke is always
funny! But I try not to do 'repeats' if I can help it.
So, if you send me a joke and don't see it in the newsletter,
there could be many reasons why I didn't choose to use that
particular joke. Not the least of which may be that I am just
afraid to run some of them, for fear that Jan will yell at me! I
love all the jokes you send, but we have to be careful with the
ones we choose to share with you. I hope never to offend anyone
with the jokes we choose to print -- and I'd never ever do that
on purpose. If ever you have an issue with any of the jokes we
print, PLEASE let me know!
********************
I'd like to remind everyone that the only way the FireSide
Bidding Practice sessions can continue to provide you with a
healthy and enjoyable learning opportunity is for those of us who
attend to show our commentators how much we appreciate their
time, and the knowledge they so generously share with us. The
support you send in goes only to the commentators -- all of the
table managers, the contributors to this newsletter, and even our
occasional 'guest' sub commentator at a FireSide session are all
voluntarily give their time and resources to support the
sessions.
Also, please keep in mind when looking for a teacher to work with
you on more of a one-on-one basis, or someone to play the
tournaments with you, or do group sessions, that most of our
commentators are available for those services at very reasonable
prices. If you like what you see at a FireSide session, just
imagine what you'd get in a one-on-one session! If you don't
know if the commentator is taking new clients, just ask :-)
I think we are so lucky to have such a talented group of bridge
players working with us -- where else could you ever find such a
selection of brilliant minds to pick? Please -- let them know
how special we think they are.
til next month...
Sara
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com or bb@wowway.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for these:
Oxymorons....
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever
know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the
words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are
already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after
light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected
expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all
right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control
when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a
suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you sit
in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
============================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
One of the basic ways to avoid losers in a trump contract is to
throw them on winners in another suit. It is important to keep a
vigilant eye out for any suit long enough to be set up with the
proper split in the opponents' hands. This is easy to overlook if
we are not careful. In fact, any five card suit can be set up if
the split in the opponents' hands is 4-3 or 4-4. We just have to
recognize the situation early in order to use our entries
accordingly.
Consider this contract of 6S:
Dummy:
S J2
H A9
D KJ98
C A10972
Declarer:
S AKQ1075
H QJ3
D Q102
C 6
The opening lead is a trump and we have to plan our play. We
count losers and see that the ace of diamonds is a sure loser,
and there is also a possible heart loser. One heart can be thrown
on the long diamond but that means we still have to finesse the
heart for our contract. But is there an extra chance? Take a good
look at that club suit! If the split is 4-3 we could set up the
fifth club for a sluff of our last losing heart. It does not cost
us anything to try!
Win the trump lead with the ace of spades and immediately lead a
club to the ace and ruff a club. Good news -- everyone has
followed suit so far. Cross to dummy with the jack of spades and
ruff a second club. At this point we know if the club suit is
splitting or not. When it does, we can clear trump and use our
diamond entries to cross back to the dummy, ruff the last club
and, cross to the heart ace to throw our two heart losers on one
high diamond and one well-set-up long club card.
If the clubs do not split favorably you can always fall back on
the heart finesse, looking upon the finesse as a last resort
rather than a first option. Always look at your long cards --
there are hidden gems to be mined for tricks!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide sessions on
Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge
time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of the game
may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
THESE ARE ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD: 85 lbs. Neutered, Speaks German.
FOUND - DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat - been out a while -
better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown - 89 cents a lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY: Must sell washer and dryer $300
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE: WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE, call Stephanie.
AND THE BEST ONE: FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia
Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best
offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Husband knows
everything.
============================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are pleased to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting
it for us.
Taken from The 2005 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: None North
Dlr: W S K754
H QJT
D A52
C J63
South
S AQJT6
H K98
D KJT
C 85
West North East South
P P P 1S
X 2NT* P 4S
All pass
*Limit raise
Opening Lead: CA
North's 2NT response over West's double shows a limit raise
in spades: a maximum pass with at least four-card support.
(With only three spades, North would start with a redouble,
then support spades on the next round.)
West starts with the CA: C3, CT, C5. West cashes the CK: C6,
C4, C8. West continues with the C2: CJ, CQ, S6. You draw
trumps in two rounds, but how would you continue from there?
************************
S K754
H QJT
D A52
C J63
S 92 S 83
H A763 H 542
D 976 D Q843
C AK92 C QT74
S AQJT6
H K98
D KJT
C 85
Contract: 4S Lead: CA
********************
With three top losers (one heart and two clubs), you must locate
the DQ. Perhaps your immediate reaction is to assume West, the
doubler, has that card. But the finesse can wait.
First, find out who holds the HA. If it is East, West surely has
the DQ. But when it proves to be West, East must have the DQ.
Why?
Remember the bidding: it went three passes around to you. And
West has already produced 11 points: HA and CAK. If he had the
DQ too, he would have opened the bidding as dealer.
If you count only one thing, ignore trumps; follow those
high-card points. In the long run, that will prove much more
valuable.
********************
Hand and analysis by Phillip Adler, courtesy of the Daily
Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc., Brampton,
ON, Canada. Reprinted with permission. (Special thanks to
Lee Daugherty and Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Caphotel for this giggle:
Anagrams
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
============================================================
BRIDGE FOR THE CLUB PLAYER
==========================
Why bridge is like boxing
What is the object of boxing? Hit, but don't get hit. What
does a boxing coach/manager tell his fighter? Stick and move.
Keep your guard up. Don't lose concentration. If he leaves
himself open, attack. Prepare. Jab, jab, jab.
OK, maybe I got carried away. Grin. But my contention is
this -- good competitive bridge has similar strategies.
Interlude: Many years ago, reading a Mike Lawrence book, I
had what was (for me) an epiphany. In the book Play Bridge with
Mike Lawrence there was a hand where he said something along
the line of "I guess half the field will make four and half
will make five. I estimate a 9 (on a 12 top)." It occurred to
me that this is a 75% score! At that time in my career, I
had yet to have a 75% game. Is this the key to bridge?!?
Don't try for great scores on every hand, just try to be in
top half. Always.
And, essentially, this is true. Just as a good boxer doesn't
try and deliver a knockout blow with every punch, a good bridge
player doesn't try for tops on every hand. Just don't get
hit -- cut down on the mistakes.
But, also, to be successful, you have to keep the pressure on
the opponents. A good boxer always keeps the pressure on his
opponent: Jab, Jab, Jab. Preempt, balance, falsecard. Good
footwork, good technique. If the opponent lands a good blow,
you don't recover it all at once (don't let a bad result affect
the next hand). You NEVER let your guard down or let a punch/bad
result affect your fight strategy. If your opponent leaves
themselves open, though, you take advantage and THAT'S when you
land your big blows/get your tops.
A good bridge player is in there on every hand, either jabbing
away in the bidding or attempting to take every trick possible
(and some that aren't!). Keep up the pressure, but don't make
mistakes yourself. Two of my favorite sayings when I teach
bridge:
"Heads I win, tails I break even."
"He who makes the last guess loses."
Keep those opponents off-balance!
Happy sparring!
Jack Brawner
TrojanOwl@AOL.com
********************
Jack welcomes students of all levels for lessons.
Contact him for information at trojanowl@aol.com
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this giggle:
Subject: Hearing Problem?
A man feared his wife was not hearing as well as she used to, and
he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to
approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband
could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing
loss. "Here's what you do," said the doctor.
"Stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational
speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then
20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he
was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away.
Let's see what happens." In a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's
for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from
his wife, and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no
response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from
his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again, no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey,
what's for dinner?"
Again, there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
(I just love this.) . . . . . . .
"Earl, for the 5'th time, CHICKEN!"
===========================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
============
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Sun Oct 2 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 Duchess/marys 56.95
2 jhbdel/Kaltica 56.95
Sun Oct 2 07:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 fredw3/pablo871 1.27
Sun Oct 9 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 66.86
Mon Oct 10 08:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 msbbbb/tuna 70.89
Wed Oct 12 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 72.92
Fri Oct 14 07:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 believer/dloye 3.99
Sat Oct 15 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 duncan/elgringo 71.21
Fri Oct 21 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 62.50
Fri Oct 28 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 bdugood/judydee 65.97
********************
Some of our Flight B and C tourney stars:
albertb, arrow, ask1, bettyn, birdie, desiree, dslt, duchess,
ed4, elgringo, flee, frank-1, frodo, gmeier, gnosis, grahamg,
helen477, imogene, janwa, julie, kitkat, lee-1, macavity,
neophyte, one236, potts, riggin, sannick, shade, tanis, todd,
mmusic.
********************
And we wanted to include these games, which we think
deserve "honorable mention"!
Wed Oct 5 11:00 AM
3 jhbdel/Kaltica 62.36
Wed Oct 12 05:30 PM
2 Pringle/Unicorn 2.67
Mon Oct 17 11:00 AM
3 elgringo/marys 3.51
********************
"Well Done" to all of you! :)
************************************************************
FIRESIDE'S TEAM GAME
Our October winners are:
10-03-2005 TEAM JIMM: Jimm, Ebsoh, Bliss, J21 & Je1925
10-30-2005 TEAM CALBEAR: Calbear, Lwilmot, Eds, Patricia
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder list
for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all welcome!
**********************************************************
Get Well wishes to our ex-commentator Lou (LouisG) who had some
minor surgery last month. Hope you are up and about soon!
**********************************************************
Last month we blew some get-well kisses to our dear friend Olivia
(BAOL). Here's here follow-up:
"Thanks for the good wishes in the last newsletter. And thanks
to those who sent personal good wishes. I am happy to report
that I have had about the best results possible. 17 days after
right knee replacement surgery I was able to walk into the
surgeon's office without walker, cane or limp and I was given
permission to drive short distances. I am still having therapy
sessions. Today (surgery +31 days) the therapist said my progress
is fantastic. I am very thankful.:
And when I asked Olivia if it were OK to mention her age......
"Certainly - I want people to know I've earned my wrinkles! I
was 88 last March 31."
Olivia you are an inspiration to us....especially to me, a "few"
years younger, as I whined about my knee for a year.:)
We're thrilled you are doing so well!
**********************************************************
We imagine our good friend Jane (NEOPHYTE) is busting her buttons
with pride....Her daughter Jenny, age 16, who often is the fourth
for OKB bridge with Jane and her friends, has taken part in
numerous events in England both Regionally and Nationally.
A letter went out to everyone who wanted to join the under-20
England Youth squad to take part in a weekend training course. So
Jenny went off to Loughborough with her partner Amy, who is also
16...and as a result are eligible to play for England!
Jane, we can all see why you are so proud of her! We will all be
rooting for her, and look forward to watching her on Vugraph one
of these days!
**********************************************************
Found in a post by Nikos Sarantakos in rec.games.bridge:
In my bridge pages I have an anthology of wise or witty comments
by Edgar Kaplan gleaned from tournament reports in the Bridge
World.
Please look at:
http://www.sarantakos.com/bridge/kapnuggets.htm
Thanks to Nikos for giving me permission to reprint this link
here...here's just one example:
[On keycard disasters]
Many with-it partnerships are up to six aces, plus several queens
of trumps - talk about inflation!
"1990 Spingold", TBW 11/1990, p. 9
I just know you will enjoy this site, and poke around his other
articles while you are there -- some great stuff! Be nice to him,
I am hoping he will give me permission to reprint some of those
here in the future.:)
**********************************************************
Leafing through the Southwest Airlines magazine on a long
flight...finally something to pique my interest!
In a section titled "Facts" these items from a recent ACBL
survey.....
25: Estimated number (in millions) of bridge players in the
United States.
1, 2, 3: Rank of a game of bridge, a warm fire, and a banana
souffle, as the preferred choice of bridge players marooned on a
desert island.
42: If marooned on a desert island and asked to chose fellow
survivors, percentage of bridge players who chose "three other
people for bridge".
**********************************************************
Tidbit from the ACBL Web Page, www.acbl.org:
No Wonder He Was Named Jack
Someone found this on the moviediva web site: (Jack Benny's)
mother delayed a trip to the hospital for little Jack's birth on
account of a good hand at bridge. He was born in the hospital
elevator, so alarming his mother that she vowed to have no more
children.
**********************************************************
Fair Winds on the Plate by Richard Pavlicek
During Wilma, the National Hurricane Center hired me to run tests
to determine the exact wind velocity required to break plate
glass.
See the results (if I survive) in this bidding poll! Just choose
your call on six problems from a past tournament. Perhaps you
can even guess the venue from my clues. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/8w57.htm
Results of the October contest "Finesses of Frankenstein" will be
posted November 4, 2005 at 21:00 GMT. For these, and everything
related to the monthly events, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
Thanks to Richard for getting this out to me and the rest of
his distribution list at 5AM an hour before Wilma struck....
with this note:
"Argh! We're under attack again as Wilma heads right at us,
so I'll send this before the power goes. Just to show Wilma
who's boss, besides battening down the house, I will use her
as a counter-theme in the poll."
Richard's area in Fort Lauderdale was among the worst hit....
He is still dealing with no power and some major damage to
his house and the loss of beloved 25 year old trees that he
had planted himself.....Richard, we're thinking of you!
**********************************************************
On that same note, I can report that I have my power back, after
being in the dark for 4 days -- we are among the lucky ones! Our
damage was like everyone else in South Florida -- lost beautiful
trees, roof tiles, our fence, but the house is sound. One third
of the entire state was without power at one point, with 40% of
those still in the dark, as I write this on Sunday. FP&L's
estimate to get everyone back is November 22! Everyone is
weary...lines for gas have been hours long....there is plenty of
gas in the ground but no stations with power to pump it....some
people are getting in line and then having to push their cars the
last few feet to the pump!
But things are getting a little better now, a week into this...
gas stations coming back on-line, traffic lights getting
repaired, we're all safe and sound.....and most importantly, I
have my computer and internet back!
For a good laugh (which we all need) about the situation
down here:
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/13030722.htm
So go easy on the leftover Halloween candy, and send news!
Hugs....Janice
**********************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who write
for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other commentators
and newsletter contributors also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might think,
especially mentoring games. We think our commentators give you
your money's worth when you choose private lessons, and they
really value your business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one
what you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
***********************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program? An
event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of us? A
question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for us to
visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to miss
anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside, it's
easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet, here are
some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has developed to
enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm (Note that IGITSAP must be in
CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
November Events: (All times Pacific)
=====================================
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
==============================
Sunday, 5:00 P.M. November 13 and 27.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists of past
winners. To get on the mailing list for this game, email me
at firesider@aol.com.
DISCUSS LIST
============
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity, the Discuss
List. You can join that list by emailing them at
Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe' in the
subject line. You can also participate in the discussions via
the OKbridge web site now, just go to the members area at
www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss List there at the
bottom of your opening page.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
=================
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants. Email Kaltica to
schedule a session, usually available on the same Sunday as the
Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many keystrokes
while playing on OKB by sending prepared text to the table, opps,
or lobby at the push of a button. Try to download the program
BEFORE the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically in
your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game: Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers
very welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be an
open table for those waiting to join the team game. This table
will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players: Saturdays, 11:00 a.m.
Pacific. Novices are welcome in spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name, in the
table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions. After
clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section. Write an
email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer your
questions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pooka for this giggle:
An Honest Mistake
An man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy
boulevard. Suddenly the light turned yellow just in front of him.
He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he
could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the
intersection.
The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, flipped him the
bird while screaming in frustration that she missed her chance to
get through the intersection because of him.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and
looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He
took her to the police station where she was searched,
fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and
opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where
the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up
behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the
guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I
noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would
Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper
sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the
trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!!!"
============================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
The Twelve Commandments
I'll conclude this article with a hand from our recent Canadian
National Teams Zone Final from the weekend, but that will be the
limit of the technical aspect of this month's submission. I've
often been asked what the most important tips are for becoming a
formidable bridge player. There are many, to be sure, but I've
found several that have enabled me to achieve a modicum of
success. In no particular order, they are:
1) Don't go overboard on science and a bunch of conventions
unless you can retain the information in your memory cells at
all times. Some bridge authors and theorists will have you
believe that you need a mountain of the current toys in your
arsenal to win. They may provide you with some edge, but it's
marginal at best, and not worth the effort if you keep forgetting
them. Even now, there are expert pairs that play a very simple
card. I've played against Bart Bramley and Sidney Lazard, who've
won the Blue Ribbon Pairs and many other events, and they have a
relatively threadbare system when compared to that of other
players of their caliber. I've shot a 76% game in a Sectional
playing 1940s Goren. The old-fashioned methods are frequently
disparaged, but bridge is bridge and it's a matter of whether you
find your comfort zone in simplicity or the new-fangled voodoo.
2) When doing up a convention card with your partner, don't force
your theoretical preferences on him and do as much listening as
talking. I've seem a local partnership of reasonable potential
hit the skids and evaporate because one player wanted to play the
Ultimate Club or something very close to it, and the other was
quite happy in a 2/1 environment with the odd frill. The
gadgeteer won out in the makeup of the card, but lost out in the
end because the partnership didn't have much of a lifespan and he
subsequently had trouble finding someone else to play with after
that.
3) Avoid weak two-bids on five-card suits. It's in considerable
vogue and is the sexy thing to do, but is a surefire loser. It's
a two-edged sword when the hand belongs to the opponents, and is
useless or worse if partner has the big hand, as you'll almost
never reach the best contract. My average OKBridge result
against players that open weak twos on five-card suits is +5 IMPs
or a 72% matchpoint score. Take my word for it.
4) If you feel the urge to psyche sporadically or frequently, I'm
not going to talk you out of it. However, you should note
whether partner is able to brush it off or seems uncomfortable
with it. In my two long-running partnerships with Colin
"Kaltica" Ward and Dave McLellan, I could always move around with
Colin as he was quite in favor of it, but Dave politely asked me
to refrain from psyching as it threw him off his game.
5) Fourth best from longest and strongest usually works (or
3rd/5th if you play those). Sometimes the auction will be a clue
to look in another direction, or you might have a "table feel" to
guides you elsewhere, but for every brilliant success for an
unusual lead, there are a score of failures resulting from not
leading from your best long suit.
6) There are negative doubles and takeout doubles, and that's
really all you need.. Even though you can see more special
doubles on the convention card, it's debatable whether they're
essential to use. Most especially, a negative double by advancer
does not exist after a takeout double. Partner has support for
all suits and has asked you to pick the trump suit.
Also, be quite willing to make penalty doubles as the situation
dictates. I know why novices and even B players are reluctant to
double for penalty. They usually leave a trick behind and aren't
able to exact the maximum score. However, bridge is a game of
learning, and if you get +100 instead of the 300 you're entitled
to, you'll be forced to sharpen your defense until you get it
right and start ringing up the telephone numbers on your side of
the ledger. And that's the only way you can prevent frisky
opponents from stirring up the pot against you.
7) Relax at the appropriate time. Too many players have a snooze
when the opponents are thinking about their action. Then, when
it comes time to make a bid, they snap out of their reverie and
go into the tank as they now have a problem. I've said it a
thousand times and will repeat it till the end of my days, you
should be planning your course of action when the opponents are
ruminating over theirs, anticipating most of the likely scenarios
when your turn comes.
Conversely, I do take a siesta when I'm dummy and partner is
declaring the hand. My better half's cardplay isn't of much
interest to me except after the session, and I can't affect it,
so why watch it like a hawk instead when you could be taking a
breather? This is the perfect time to recharge your batteries
and think about the hot date you'll be going out on later that
night.
8) Colin "Kaltica" Ward's prime directive.if you have broken
tempo, never double, and if you're not in passout seat, bid
rather than pass. Unless, of course, you want a stream of
director calls and appeals committees. Then you can make slow
doubles or anguished passes. A hesitation is forcing to a bid,
if only to avoid ethical problems for your side.
9) Don't hit the panic button too early. Over the weekend, our
team was involved in two matches of this kind. We fell behind by
30 IMPs at the half, and my partner and I went in for the second
half and didn't try anything cute, just playing our normal game.
The swings began coming in our direction and we gained back 28
IMPs to get a 15-15 tie on the WBF Victory Point scale.
On the flip side, the next day the opponents at our table, after
having slightly the best of six flattish boards, went -100 in a
makeable 3NT, -990 against 4S doubled, and -300 in a doubled
game. So they bid to a shaky slam on the next hand and went
down one, chalking it up to the match already being lost. It was
a forlorn comparison for them when they found out that the three
supposed disasters were all pushes and they were in fact 7 IMPs
ahead when they tried to "catch up" with their ambitious slam,
which decided the match in our favor.
10) It's possible to be good or even very good at bridge, but
tough to be absolutely perfect. There are so many intangibles.
Over the course of my experience, I've seen many extremely
talented players try and get the best result on every single
hand. That's a laudable objective, but not if trying for the
best result risks getting a horrid outcome instead. I've told
many partners and teammates that if we get the best result on 65%
of the hands and the second-best result on the other 35% of them,
we'd never lose an event. Sadly, this doesn't often register
with them and they continue to take outlandish risks for the
double-dummy result. .
11) The Bob Hamman rule, when you have a coin-flip between
plausible game contracts and 3NT is one of them, that's more
often than not the winning option. 3NT is a tough and
pressure-packed contract to defend, as you'll see in the hand at
the end of this piece.
12) If you expect to play in some high-level events at some point
in time, gear yourself for that type of competition and don't
vary your style to get cheap masterpoints in the club games.
Doing so breeds lousy habits which are going to persist in the
tougher events in spite of arguments that you'll be able to
tighten up your game.
Now for the hand of the night, from our CNTC Zone Final. You'll
get the problem now, and the answer next month.
RHO LHO
1NT (11-14) 2NT*
3C* 3NT
Responder's 2NT was a transfer to diamonds, and opener's 3C
showed a good fit for them with 13-14 points.
Your hand is: S-xxx H-A10xxx D-Qx C-Kxx
You try a fourth-best heart and see:
Dummy
S-xx
H-KQ9
D-A1098xx
C-Jx
You
S-xxx
H-A10xxx
D-Qx
C-Kxx
Declarer flies with the Queen from dummy as partner contributes
the 2 (count by agreement, so an odd number). Now comes a low
diamond from dummy and after a flicker of hesitation, the Jack by
declarer as you take the Queen. You're pretty sure declarer has
both the King and Jack of diamonds. So now do you continue hearts
or switch to a black suit, and if so, which one?
Send your email votes to: btreble@shaw.ca, and I'll have the
answer at the beginning of next month's article.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca) for more
information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Bezel for this one:
THE YEAR 1905
This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1905.
One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!
Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1905 :
The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven
dollars.
There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of
paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily
populated than California.
With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most
populous state in the Union.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents per hour.
The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and
$4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at
home.
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or
egg yolks for shampoo.
The American flag had 45 stars.
Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been
admitted to the Union yet.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented
yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one
full-time servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.
And I forwarded this from someone else without typing it myself,
and sent it to you in a matter of seconds! Try to imagine what it
may be like in another 100 years.
It staggers the mind.
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Pluses and Minuses
******************
Consider this auction:
West North East South
1S Pass Pass
Dbl 2S Dble
The vast majority of experts would take the double to
be penalty here. But let us change the auction slightly:
West North East South
1S Pass Pass
2C 2S Dble
Now expert opinion will be slightly more divided between
penalty and takeout ("responsive").
What if it were Responder rather than Opener bidding 2S?
West North East South
1C Pass 1D 1S
Pass 2S Dble
In this case the preponderance of experienced players
will interpret the double as takeout. This follows the rule
that (unless our side has bid a natural 1NT) any double of a
raise by the opponents to the two level, agreeing trump, is
takeout.
Let us look at a hand at IMPs with no one vulnerable:
S- KJxx H- Qxxx D- AJ9x C- 10
After 1C-Pass-1D-1S-Pass-2S, assuming that a double will
be takeout, you have three choices:
1. Double and hope Partner bids something red.
In essence, this is a gamble that Partner has a 4-card
red suit or, perhaps, 7 Clubs. We are fairly certain that
Opener is short in Spades, but 1=3=3=6 could be a problem.
We are also fairly certain that Opener is minimum, given the
Pass of 1S with a shortness there.
2. Bid NT (either 2NT or a somewhat wild 3NT).
4-4-4-1 types are the worst for NT play. We have that
Club shortness to worry about and no suit to run ourselves.
Even 2NT might fail here.
3. Pass.
With 11 HCPs opposite Partner's 13-14 points, how can we
Pass? Are we not, at least, close to game in terms of HCPs?
Yes, but opposite the minimum that Opener's Pass of 1S
suggests and with no obvious fit yet game is unlikely. Even
a part score, such as 3C on a 6-1 "fit", might fail due to bad
breaks. What are the opponents bidding on? Certainly not
HCPs! Hence, bad breaks are not merely possible here; they
are probable.
Once we discern that 1C Opener is short in Spades we can
categorize hir hand as either:
a) 6+ Clubs (but we may need 6 GOOD or 7+ Clubs to make 3C).
b) 1-3-4-5-ish or 1-4-3-5-ish (1=4=4=4's open 1D, remember).
Against 2S we should expect about 2 Spade tricks and one
or two red suit tricks in our hand. According to the 4 Point
Principle Opener should have (12 / 4 = 3) three tricks. Thus,
we expect 2S to fail by one or two tricks. So now let us look
at the possibilities if we Pass:
1. 2S will become the final contract.
If down 1 while 3C or 3D make we lose 2 IMPs, 3 if 3H
makes. If 2S fails by 2 we push, 110 to 100, losing an
IMP only if 3H makes (140 versus 100). If EVERYTHING goes
down (as may well be the case) we make at least 3 IMPs.
2. Partner will compete with 3C with 7+ (or 6 very good) Clubs.
Were you to have doubled you might have forced Opener to bid
with fewer/weaker Clubs. By passing 2S you allow Partner to
bid on only with the prototypical holding. Thus, if Partner
DOES bid 3C here the odds of it making are higher than if you
FORCE Opener to do so.
3. Partner will compete to 3D with 4 Diamonds.
Same as 3C above, essentially.
4. Partner will double with 1=4=3=5 and 14 points.
This is the least likely scenario but, even at IMPs, Opener
might balance after passing 1S to prevent you from getting
overboard. Again, though, Opener will only do so with the
perfect holding. Such a double should render +300, winning
4 or 5 IMPs if we make a part score, 9 IMPs if we cannot.
There is also the vague possibility that passing 2S might
lure them into bidding 3S later--which you CAN double for blood
and collect 300 or more. Even without this consideration,
though,
passing gives you a downside of, at worst, -2 IMPs and an upside
of +9. Try to get THOSE odds in Vegas! :)
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide sessions on
Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net) for more
information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Dloye for this giggle;
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very
exciting youth.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teen-ager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how
many people a company can operate without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone
else looks?
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a
car.
There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at
4 AM. It could be a right number.
Think about this..... No one ever says "It's only a game" when
his team is winning.
Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag
his tail.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make them all yourself.
One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to
work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.
A backyard barbecue draws two things....flies and relatives.
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts
tomorrow.
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any
sense at all.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
You know you're old when you reach down to get the wrinkles out
of your panty hose and realize you aren't wearing any.
and:
I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
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