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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT OCTOBER 2005
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Dealing With Dann
Bridge For the Club Player
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Welcome to the October, 2005 issue of FireSide Chat, our
monthly newsletter written for and about our FireSide friends
and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and features.
Please feel free to write to us with any comments, questions,
ideas, or whatever, that you may wish to share. This newsletter
is for and about you, and we want you to feel welcome to
participate. Just email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending us
contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate everything
you send, and use as many as we can. Keep 'em coming, please!
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide Chat"
newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive these mailings,
please write to Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from
our mailing list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in these "open to
all" sessions, please note that FireSide Bidding Practice
Sessions operate with the support of those who attend. For
information about how to become a supporting member, please
contact Kaltica at kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at
moocake@bellsouth.net, or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions in all
the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication and
caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking of taking
private lessons, paying a professional to play tourneys with you,
getting involved in a group session mentoring program... most,
if not all, of our commentators and contributors to this
newsletter are available for those services. Just think how much
easier it is to learn from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2005 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
I decided to 'rerun' an article I wrote for the October,
2000 issue of the Fireside Chat -- tho I am cleaning it
up a LOT, removing names, and only using some excerpts
from the testimonials we got from some of our regular
Firesiders back then... tho it's neat to see how many
of you are still attending on a regular basis :)
Happy 8'th Birthday, Fireside!
*******************
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIRESIDE!
I recently asked Colin if he remembered the date of the
very first FireSide session. Turns out he did, (with a
little help from his lovely, diary-keeping wife. Thanks,
Denise!) The first FireSide Bidding Practice session was
held on Friday, October 31, 1997. I've been spending a
lot of time since he told me that just remembering.
I remember that very first FireSide... I remember Colin
inviting several of us to be there and participate. In
that first session, only one group of us sat down at the
table, and bid quite a few hands. It was awesome! I can
remember thinking, "Wow! This is so neat! I hope they'll
do it again some time, and let me participate again..."
Hee hee, little did I know where that first, experimental
session was going to lead us! There have been a lot
of changes; in format, in personnel, in scheduling..
it's been a roller coaster ride at times :-) One thing
has remained constant though -- FireSide has always been
there for us, delivering a high quality program.
It's been a wonderful three years for me. I've learned so
much. I've made many wonderful friends there, met people
I'm in total awe of, people I'd never have had the
opportunity to get to know had I not met them through
FireSide. It seems a lot of you feel the same way :-)
Here are some letters we received from our fellow
FireSiders. Enjoy :-)
===========================================================
"Hi Firesiders,
"I joined Okbridge in Dec. of 97. I had not played
bridge for over 20 yrs. I had become confined to the
house and needed something to keep me from going
"stir crazy".
"I was trying to learn my computer at the same time,
so I was wandering around the lobby trying to figure
out what to do. About that time, I saw the Firesider
invitation to join for bidding practise---"wow", I said,
"I sure need that." So away I go and become a spec.
"I wasn't brave enough to sit down the first few times,
but finally got enough courage to join at the bidding
table. My learning began at that point. Needless to say,
my hands were shaking so bad I could hardly move my mouse.
With the kindness of all who are part of the Firesides,
my confidence grew, and my bidding and play of the hand
became easier."
===========================================================
"Years ago I played duplicate bridge, enjoying it
immensely, and now I would like to play well again...
"At every chance I have, I participate in FireSide,
and "spec" those who will allow me...
"Thanks to the Table Managers and Mentors who understand
and help a Novice participate in FireSide."
===========================================================
"Isn't that amazing! Fireside and I must have arrived at
OKBridge almost simultaneously. I assumed it was an old,
established tradition.
"I can tell you this.....Without Fireside, I'm not sure I
would have hung around too long.
"I just can't say enough good things about Fireside and all
its wonderful people!!!
"Thank you for all you have done!"
===========================================================
"Back in those days, there was no friend's list on okb.
When I logged on, I would do a search for "Kaltica" because
I always knew that wherever he was, I could go there and
I'd feel welcome. I guess things don't change---now we
always have Fireside to go to -- a place where we will
always learn, feel welcome, meet wonderful people,and have
a good time.
"And, most importantly.....I've met a couple of extremely
special, irreplaceable friends at Fireside who I know will
remain among my closest friends for the rest of my life."
===========================================================
"Your email certainly made me remember the history. Of
course I remember Colin mentoring Mary, then teaching and
just sitting in with us beginners, then Fireside and the
Lesson series. I also remember some emails before Fireside,
where Colin and I spoke about the possibility of using the
format that is now used for Fireside, and I remember Colin
doing Fireside nite after nite.
"Other teachers have joined and gone, but the commentors who
remain have the quality of knowledge, humor, and a sense of
caring for people. Those are the qualities that cemented
the Fireside family. The people who participate, I think,
share the caring and humor, and God knows, we are trying to
get the knowledge.
"I know I would enjoy the Fireside people face to face and
my, how much easier than all this typing. Really there
has been a special gift given to us all --- friendship."
===========================================================
In closing, I'd like to share my favorite memory of
FireSide...except I'm having a terrible time picking one!
There have been so very many special moments... Colin
getting the Angelfish award, Laura getting the Angelfish
award :-), being lucky enough to have had the chance to be
the Table Manager for each and every commentator that
FireSide has had, watching all of you grow and learn, and
become friends.. that's a wonderful thing, to see the
togetherness of all the FireSide folks....
I was talking to Janice about this, and we decided that
we do have a favorite FireSide memory in common. It has
to do with the very togetherness I just mentioned.
Just prior to the Vancouver Nationals in 1999, Colin
bought a laptop computer, so that in addition to personal
business use, he could stay in touch with us during the
tourney, send us daily reports, and possibly even do his
FireSide sessions from there, if needed.
The first few days of the tourney, we enjoyed his reports,
and had fun visiting with him when he had a chance to log
on to OKbridge in-between sessions. Then, suddenly,
silence. We couldn't imagine what would keep him from
sending us his daily reports...then we got the bad news:
The laptop had been stolen :-(
We felt so awful. What a disaster....
A few of us got to talking, and came up with a plan. :-)
We sent out an email, explaining what had happened, and
asking you to help us raise enough money to try to help
Colin buy a new one. We thought we might be able to raise
a few hundred dollars to go toward replacing the computer.
Well, we always knew that our FireSide family is a
wonderful, caring, and generous group of people. We
were thrilled when we reached $500, happily stunned at
$1000, and absolutely moved at just how generous and
caring you folks were when the total went well over
$1500....not only enough contributions to replace the
computer he lost, but money left over to add to the
computer fund that Colin uses to help others. :-)
We surprised Colin with the money at his FireSide,
having told everyone to be there at a certain time.
There were so many people there, even Colin got a
little suspicious that something was up. A few
wandered in thinking it must be the GoldWay table! :-)
We all came down out of spec at the same time, and
read a poem.....a favorite line of which was:
"Why many contributed, some of us reckoned,
Was to see Colin speechless, at least for one second!"
And believe it or not, he was! :-)
The way you all rallied, and pitched in to help us
achieve our goal, and even more, to show Colin just
how special he really is to all of us, is truly one
of our favorite, and most heart warming memories.
I'm sure we'll have many many more memories to share as
time goes on. Here's to building happy ones!
See you all at FireSide!
Sara
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com or bb@wowway.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for these
One Liners
Remember, once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up
speed.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't
have any film.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the
waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three
weeks before you need it.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Learn from the mistakes of others. Trust me...you can't live long
enough to make them all yourself.
============================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
DOUBLE!
About 2 years ago, I suggested that if you want to improve your
scores overnight by at least 15 percent, you should begin to
embrace the concept of low level penalty doubles. To date I still
see thousands of loose overcalls and light initial actions that
constantly lead to the opportunity of grabbing a top out of thin
air. We bridge players consistently refuse to punish the
offenders!
Let us briefly discuss the role of the opponents. They are there
to occupy a chair and allow us to scoop tops through their
misguided mistakes in bidding, defense and play. As soon as they
step out you have to be in the mind-set to punish them. Thinking
that it would be a good thing to double them, and doing it are
two distinct things. My advice is anytime you see that your side
has the balance of power and there is an obvious double
available, take it! Anytime you know something about the hand
that the opponents do not know, be ready to double them. We want
to stop defeating them 2 or 3 tricks and only collect a filthy
100 or 150 instead of the plus we deserve, namely plus 300 or
plus 500, when all we can make is a partscore. If we can make
a game then I would expect the penalty to be even more lucrative!
Here is a simple example -- your hand is:
S A9872
H A42
D A42
C AJ
You open 1S rather than 1NT because even though you have a
balanced hand and full stoppers in all suits your hand has no
tenaces to guard. By opening 1S you can raise 1NT response to
2NT to show your strength. It is always a good idea to have a
plan of rebid before we choose to open. So the auction begins
1S-P-1NT-2C overcall- to us?
We have an amazing opportunity with 4 plus defensive tricks and
a partner showing at least 6 points. They have stepped out and I
will express my opinion. Partner does not have 3 card spade
support so there is a great chance to give him a ruff in spades.
I will lead my ace of spades and I have lots of entries to give
him a ruff. I will double 2C now! I may not have a trump stack
but I do have a big surprise, namely all four aces. This opponent
tried to stick in one of those butt-in overcalls with little
chance to buy the hand but a great chance to be punished.
The end result is that partner had a stiff spade, so we give him
two ruffs as well as get an uppercut for yourself. You defeat
them in two clubs by 3 tricks. In effect taking 8 winners in
clubs, making two clubs your way! Not bad for a speculative
double. What fun if we get 2 or 3 of these every session we play.
Let us keep it our little secret so we can make more of these
tops, and hope the overbidding opponents don't get the message
too soon!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide sessions on
Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge
time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of the game
may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this giggle:
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
============================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are thrilled to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
>From The 2005 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information call
1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com.
********************
Vul: E/W North
Dlr: S S QT52
H T742
D A6
C QT3
South
S A4
H AKQJ8
D K54
C 984
West North East South
1NT*
P 2C** P 3H
P 4H All pass
*15-18 HCP
**Five-card major Stayman (see notes)
Opening Lead: DT
Playing a 15-18 1NT, South opened 1NT despite the five-card major
(see note). North's 2C asked, "do you have a five-card major?"
and South's 3H showed five hearts and a maximum hand.
West leads the DT. You take the DA, play a heart to your ace and
continue with the DK and the third diamond, ruffed with the HT,
all following. A heart to your king draws the missing trumps and
you shift your attention to the clubs: C9, C2, C3, CJ. East
continues with the CA and a club to West's CK. What do you play
from dummy?
********************
S QT52
H T742
D A6
C QT3
S J876 S K93
H 65 H 93
D T983 D QJ72
C K72 C AJ65
S A4
H AKQJ8
D K54
C 984
Contract: 4H Lead: DT
********************
Had the CJ been onside you could afford a spade loser. When the
defense takes their three club tricks, you have to guess the
spade position. There will be no problem if West has both. When
the honors are split, you have to decide whether to play East for
the SJ or the SK.
Assuming the opponents are competent, you must play dummy's ST.
If West had the SK, East would not have continued with the third
round of clubs. After winning the first or second round of
clubs, East would have shifted to a spade since East could tell
that a third club would endplay West.
Tip: When faced with a guess-finesse, assume the opponents have
not blundered.
NOTE: Five-Card Major Stayman
If you open 1NT when you have the right strength, a 5-3-3-2
pattern, and a five-card major, you will want a method to find
out whether opener does have a five-card major. Here is a system
of responses to 1NT: 2C as a five-card major Stayman:
2H/2S = five-card major, minimum
3H/3S = five-card major, maximum
2D = no five card major,minimum
2NT = no five-card major, maximum
********************
Hand and analysis by Ron Klinger, courtesy of the Daily Bridge
Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc., Brampton, ON, Canada.
Reprinted with permission. (Special thanks to Lee Daugherty and
Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks again to Luc for this giggle:
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the
women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into
shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's
the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
============================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
=================
Keycard - Yes?
OK, bridge fans, the title of this article unfortunately says it
all. When we sit down with a pick-up pard we say - yada yada -
to yes/no/upside down/ and so on... one thing (or yada) that we
cannot settle for a 'yes' and move on is Keycard Blackwood!
Depending on who you are playing with, Keycard can be different.
The areas where we play can have different default's regarding
the "standard" way to play Keycard. First thing when playing
Keycard that we need to differentiate is whether we are playing
14/30 or 03/14 (engineer's tend to like 03/14 - it looks a lot
like Pi and they can remember that.)
So, when it goes 1S (or any suit) - p - 4NT... is that Keycard?
Most experts will play that as plain Blackwood, and for Keycard
they will set the trump suit first with some fit showing bid -
depending on what the partnership plays. (In SAYC, Jacoby 2NT
works great for this purpose.)
Now that I've broached the fit subject - is 4NT always plain
Blackwood with the absence of an agreed (whether raised/implied)
suit? That's something we need to discuss with pard; some play
last suit bid is trump in absence of an agreement.
Now all this discussion does bring up one point for anyone who is
going to go play at clubs or tournaments F2F -- if opps are
having a bizarre auction, DON'T ask them to clarify 4NT's
definition by asking half way through auction. Let them figure
it out. We can always ask before we lead if we want to know --
but during the bidding, leave it as their possible problem.
Also another thing to clarify is whether 5NT asks for the number
of Kings or specific Kings. Again, it's best to know this prior
to having to guess! Just like any other convention we play, best
we play the whole thing! (The same way partner plays the whole
thing!)
Remember to have Fun at the table! (One way to increase our
enjoyment is to lower our misunderstandings!)
Dann
********************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide sessions on
Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: pspeard@telusplanet.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
And one more from Luc :)
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher
a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed
by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
============================================================
BRIDGE FOR THE CLUB PLAYER
==========================
BALANCING THEORY
"Balancing" is, quite simply, this situation. The opponents have
bid, and if you pass, the auction is over. You are in the
"passout seat". It is theoretically possible to balance at any
level, but obviously that is kind of silly. The vast majority of
our balancing will be done at the one and two levels. I am going
to discuss just one balancing situation here...
The auction goes as follows:
1H - Pass - 2H - Pass - Pass - ??
Opener, who failed to make a game try, has between 11 and 15 HCP,
with 12 or 13 being by far the most likely. Responder has between
5 and 9 HCP, with 7 as a good average. This gives them roughly 20
high-card points. Half the deck. Your side, therefore, has the
other half.
They also have at least 8 hearts, with your side having at most
5. This means you and your partner have 21 cards that are NOT
hearts. You either have three 7-card fits to choose from, or you
have an 8-card (or longer) fit somewhere.
So, with half the points and a guaranteed fit (or three)...
Conclusion: you should bid. Period. With virtually ANY hand. If
you only have 5 or 6 points, it means your partner was just
forced to pass an opening hand that was not shape-suitable or
strong enough to come in at the two level. (Remember, they did
not know that opener was going to pass!)
"The purpose of balancing is to push the opponents up one level."
This is important. Say it about 1000 times. One former
partner/mentor always says "mission accomplished" when the
opponents take the push. Or, in my own words, if we balance and
they wind up in three hearts, we are in a
"heads-we-win-tails-we-break-even" situation. If they make it, we
get the same result as we would have before. If they don't, we
get a better score. And, human psychology being what it is, you
will find that one or another of the opponents in typical club
games almost always takes the push!
So, how do you balance? Here is a good way...
1) DOUBLE: If you can tolerate the other three suits, this is
usually best. Even with a five-card minor, it is usually better
to double than bid a suit if you have hope of finding a two-level
fit.
Notice, also, that I said "tolerate", not support. I would double
with this hand, for example: Axx, xxxx, KJxx, xx. If partner bids
clubs, so be it. Remember, the purpose of balancing is to push
the opponents up one level!
2) BID A SUIT: If you cannot double. This will almost always be a
five card (or longer) suit, but on rare occasions you may choose
to balance with a four-card suit. I would bid 2 spades with Axxx,
xxxx, KJxx, x. (Not everyone would.)
3) BID 2NT: For the minors. This promises no better than 4-4, it
just means that your hand was unsuitable for a double. I would
prefer to bid 2NT rather than double with xx, Axx, KJxx, xxxx.
(Some players prefer double.) 2NT is certainly right with x,
Axxx, xxxx, KJxx.
Simple, yet effective. Here is an important "rule", though...
Thou shalt not raise thy partner's balance!
If your partner balances, and you happen to have a good hand, you
MUST remember that they were already counting on you to have that
hand -- after all, your side has half the deck. Not more. If you
have 14 points, you should assume they just balanced with a
6-count! Do NOT raise them unless you want them to stop
balancing!
The typical club player/student worries about the risk involved
in balancing. But, think of it this way...
If you let them play it where they are content, in the long run
your score will be below average anyway so you are not risking
that much (at matchpoints) anyway.
Once you decide to balance, the ONLY way they can improve their
score is if they hit the trifecta: they have to let you play it,
they have to set you, AND the value for the set is worth more to
them then what they would have gotten if you left them where they
were.
And I cannot stress this enough: they almost always take the
push. Balance, and you will discover this.
********************
Jack welcomes students of all levels for lessons.
Contact him for information at trojanowl@aol.com
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this thought:
THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE:
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
===========================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
============
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Wed Sep 7 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 alan524/werose 71.88
Sat Sep 10 06:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 etsand/moogal 3.84
Tue Sep 13 07:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 julie/potts 1.86
Wed Sep 14 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 frangau/tuna 4.79
Fri Sep 16 11:00 AM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 frangau/tuna 1.68
Tue Sep 20 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 jhbdel/Kaltica 69.44
Tue Sep 20 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 frangau/tuna 3.27
********************
Some of our Flight B and C tourney stars:
albertb, arrow, ask1, baol, bettyn, bezel, birdie, dancing2,
desiree, dslt, duchess, ed4, elgringo, frank-1, frodo, gmeier,
gnosis, grahamg, imogene, Janwa, julie, kitkat, lee-1, Macavity,
marianb, marlyse, marys, nancor, neophyte, pollye, potts, riggin,
sannick, shade, Tanis, todd.
********************
And we wanted to include these games, which we think
deserve "honorable mention"!
Sun Aug 28 06:00 AM
3 Desiree/DiceLdy 65.63
Sat Sep 3 06:00 AM
3 emili/gnosis 2.58
Sat Sep 3 11:00 AM
3 jhbdel/Kaltica 59.35
Sun Sep 4 11:00 AM
2 jhbdel/Kaltica 67.50
Mon Sep 12 12:30 PM
3 oink/pollye 56.25
Mon Sep 12 04:00 PM
2 lee-1/wilse 65.97
Tue Sep 13 08:30 PM
4 julie/potts 2.12
Sun Sep 18 11:00 AM
3 jhbdel/Kaltica 59.49
Tue Sep 20 05:30 PM
2 ask1/bobt 63.69
Mon Sep 26 09:00 AM
4 lee-1/riggin 65.58
Mon Sep 26 07:00 PM
3 hester/pascha 67.00
********************
"Well Done" to all of you! :)
************************************************************
FIRESIDE'S TEAM GAME
Our September winners are:
09-10-2005 TEAM SHADE Shade, Oink, Zula2005 & Dotdal
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and
lists of all our top placing stars. To get on the email
reminder list for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com
- all welcome!
**********************************************************
What is that table labeled MINICHAT!
Have you had a chance to participate in the weekly mini followed
by hand analysis? Continuing this month, every Wednesday, the
2PM Pacific time tourney will be followed by an informative
session in which an experienced player (Tuna, Kaltica and others)
discuss the interesting hands from that tourney. Immediately
after the mini, Tuna opens a table with the name "MINICHAT".
As I mentioned last month, there is no need to be hesitant
about playing in a regular tourney! Grab your favorite partner
and PLAY! Don't forget to change your flight to be eligible for
pond points at each level...A, B, and C. Worried that your score
will be 'embarrassing'? Trust me, don't worry about that! :)
The best way to make sure this continues is to take part and let
OKB know we support their efforts in making mini's fun and
educational for us. So play in the mini, come to table MiniChat
afterwards, ask your questions and learn with us!
**********************************************************
It is difficult once again to report the death of one of our
good friends, Gary (GARYI). Unfailingly good natured, even
through his long battle with cancer, he will be missed by his
many friends at Fireside and OKB.
Gary spent the last few years doing the things he loved most,
traveling around the country in a motor home, playing bridge,
meeting OKB friends, and Swing Dancing. He continued to play
bridge in the Minis, and I know I will miss him as a frequent
opponent, always the perfect gentleman.
There will be a tourney in Gary's memory on October 23, 11 AM.
We'll miss you Gary.
**********************************************************
As noted in the previous Chat, we continue to mourn the loss of
our friend Patty Tappan, who died last month. I know that many
of you considered her a friend, and I'd like to direct you to a
tribute page hosted by her local bridge club in Phoenix.
http://www.bridgephoenix.com/patty.htm
There is a wonderful recap of her bridge and personal life, and
many glimpses of what made her such a special person and friend
to all.
**********************************************************
Get well wishes to Olivia (BAOL) who recently had knee
replacement surgery. According to her friend and partner,
Juliet (Just-J), Olivia is doing quite well and is raring
to get back to her computer as soon as possible!
We miss you Olivia, and send huge Fireside wishes for your
speedy recovery!
**********************************************************
Actual Miami Herald headline:
"Special 'psych' jails planned"
I was *really* concerned for Colin, until I read the story
and discovered it was about leaders in Broward and Miami-Dade
designing what could be among the first county jails ever to
be built for mentally ill inmates.
Whew:)
**********************************************************
Finesses of Frankenstein by Richard Pavlicek
The storm is almost at its peak! Lightning bolts pierce
the night, generating power to create life -- or at least
to liven up any bridge table. Can you foil the finesses
taken by Dr. Frankenstein? Test your defensive play on
these six problems. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/8x49.htm
Results of the September poll "The Legend of King Arthur"
will be posted October 4, 2005 at 21:00 GMT. For these,
and everything related to the monthly events, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
**********************************************************
Imagine, traveling to Winnipeg for the weather??? Well, that's
what I did last week, leaving at the tail end of Hurricane Rita
(which spared South Florida once again) and getting the first
flight out after the storm to visit dear friends and play in the
Colours of Autumn Sectional.
I've wanted to go to Winnipeg for many years....Colin always
asks "why?":) The answer is, to meet Cora! Cora is, as everyone
knows, Colin and Denise's Corgi....and I made friends with her
immediately, as she loved the green palm tree doggie treats from
Miami!
I was so happy to be there. Colin and Denise were wonderful hosts
-- we went sightseeing on Thursday, which included several stops
for food including some wonderful ice cream with Saskatoon berry
topping. I have fallen in love with Saksatoon jam and toppings
ever since Denise gave me some as a gift a few years ago.... I
have learned to hide my stash from my kids at home.
Unfortunately, Colin wasn't feeling well when I arrived, and
things got worse while we were out...I'll refrain from going
into details here! Colin went home to recuperate, while Denise
joined us to meet Bill and Sue, the Winnipeg love birds, for
dinner. It was great to see them again, and hear about their
recent cruise to Alaska -- including leaving Bill's passport
on the dashboard of their car!
It's bridge time! I love playing bridge with Colin and wish I
had more opportunities play 'live' bridge with him! So I had
really been looking forward to this sectional...and....I had a
lust for silver points! I had no silver points up to this point!
While I don't get to play much live bridge, I've gone to several
nationals and regionals ...but never a sectional. So the
pressure was on!
We were playing in a two-session pairs game, and I really wanted
to make him proud of me:) We had lots of fun, and finished the
first session in 4th place....now it was time to turn on the
heat....at the end of the second session we were in first place
N-S for both sessions! Unfortunately, the E-W leaders edged us
for first place overall by three matchpoints! Drat! Can I replay
one hand??:)
Best line of the tourney...one player approaches Colin after
hearing he was playing with someone from Miami, and says to him,
"So Colin, you have finally run out of Canadians who will play
with you?" :)
We rushed off after the game to meet Bill and Sue for another
dinner (unfortunately Denise had to work). Another lovely dinner
and it was time to pack, so sad! I really had a great time and
am planning another visit back when I can spend more time.
I loved Winnipeg!
**********************************************************
It was a good month for me. In addition to my long awaited trip
to see the Wards and Trebles, I am happy to announce that my
younger daughter Abby passed the bar exam, started working and is
also off the payroll! We've done it! :) And my sweet Jordie
turned one year old -- does it seem like a year since I broadcast
to the world that I was finally a grandmother?:)
Once again, best wishes to our friends who were in the paths of
the recent hurricanes and we hope everyone is staying dry.
Send your news! Make my job easier!
Hugs...Janice
**********************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who write
for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other commentators
and newsletter contributors also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might think,
especially mentoring games. We think our commentators give you
your money's worth when you choose private lessons, and they
really value your business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one
what you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
***********************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program? An
event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of us? A
question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for us to
visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to miss
anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside, it's
easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet, here are
some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has developed to
enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm (Note that IGITSAP must be in
CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
October Events: (All times Pacific)
=====================================
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
==============================
Sunday, 5:00 P.M. October 2, 16, and 30.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists of past
winners. To get on the mailing list for this game, email me
at firesider@aol.com.
MINICHAT TABLE
==============
Wednesdays, October 5, 12, 19, and 26 - OKb's MiniChat
table will be available after the 2pm Mini for all who
would like to join to discuss any interesting hands from
the tourney. All players and specs from that Mini welcome!
Just join MiniChat table!
DISCUSS LIST
============
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity, the Discuss
List. You can join that list by emailing them at
Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe' in the
subject line. You can also participate in the discussions via
the OKbridge web site now, just go to the members area at
www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss List there at the
bottom of your opening page.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
=================
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants. Email Kaltica to
schedule a session, usually available on the same Sunday as the
Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many keystrokes
while playing on OKB by sending prepared text to the table, opps,
or lobby at the push of a button. Try to download the program
BEFORE the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically in
your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game: Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers
very welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be an
open table for those waiting to join the team game. This table
will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players: Saturdays, 11:00 a.m.
Pacific. Novices are welcome in spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name, in the
table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions. After
clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section. Write an
email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer your
questions.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks again to Pringle for this giggle:
Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun
Contest.
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
Stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one
carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other
and says, "Dam"!
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire
in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that
you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they
moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting
in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to
a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends
a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've
seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone
liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across
town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good
fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars
and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close
up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh
can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his
odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man,
this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic
hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns
to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would
make them smile. No pun in ten did!!
============================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
Forks in the Road
Last week, I played in our local sectional, and the team events
produced a fair number of interesting hands. In particular,
there were three bidding decisions that had potential IMPs at
stake depending on what choice you made.
The first hand comes up in the knockout teams with your side vul
against not, and you occupying the East chair:
S-AKx H-Qxxx D-KJ10xx C-x
A respectable 13-count. Of course, when it's your turn to bid,
there's already been some action:
West North East South
1C 2S ?
We have two options at our disposal, a game-forcing 3D or a
negative double. 13 of the 14 players I have given this hand to
elected to double. LHO passes and partner now bids 3S, which is
some kind of game-forcing hand. Opener could have a powerful hand
with shortness in the enemy suit, or running clubs where he is
trying for a possible 3NT contract. The East player now bid 3NT
with two spade stoppers, over which partner thought for a long
time and finally passed. Opener's hand is:
S-x H-AJ10 D-AQ9x C-AKQ10x
The good news is that 3NT makes easily, but that is little
comfort as your side is cold for 6D and the grand slam has fairly
decent play. 7D needs the clubs splitting 4-3 or the Jack
falling, enabling three heart pitches, and if that fails,
declarer has the heart finesse in reserve. It turned out clubs
divided badly but the King of hearts was onside.
Could opener have taken further action over 3NT? Maybe, but if
responder has a bare 9 or 10 points for the negative double, game
will be high enough. How about responder? Yes, there are two
options. One is to bid 4D, which is ambiguous as to strength.
Responder in this case has opening values, but could just have a
minimum hand that's unsuited to a 3NT bid. Alternatively, we
could bid 4NT instead, hoping that partner interprets that as
quantitative, with an opening bid and spades well guarded. But
that's somewhat of a leap of faith to assume partner will be on
the same wavelength. Besides, 4NT doesn't bring diamonds into
the picture, a suit we might well be cold for game or slam in.
The upshot of the negative double was that responder had several
options on the next turn, none of them ideal. Despite the
overwhelming majority of doublers in my polling, I think
responder should bid 3D instead, and it's not a particularly
close decision in my view.
First off, 3D shows immediately an opening bid with a five-card
or longer suit. That can't be bad. But what about missing a
possible eight-card heart fit? That's not likely to happen,
really. Looking at AK of spades in your hand, opener isn't
likely to bid notrump. So he'll do one of three things: support
diamonds, bid 3S to ask for a stopper in the enemy suit, or bid
3H naturally if he's 5-4 in clubs and hearts. And if LHO jams
the bidding with some number of spades? Again, no problem. If
opener has support, we'll hear him raise diamonds. If partner
takes no action, we double their contract and expect 800 to 1100
our way on the singleton club lead.
Look at responder's diamond holding, KJ10xx. That means that any
slam potential is going to depend on what sort of fit opener has
for our long suit. If he has shortness in diamonds, slam doesn't
rate to be all that good even if we have a playable trump suit in
hearts. Change our hand to:
S-AKx H-Qxxx D-Axxxx C-x
And now a negative double has a lot more going for it, as
responder is primarily interested in two contracts: some number
of hearts or 3NT. Locating an eight-card or longer diamond fit
may not be that useful as there could still be a possibility of
a trump loser.
This isn't the first disaster I've seen from making a negative
double with an opening hand instead of bidding the long suit. I
remember at least two other instances where responder started
with a double and ran into subsequent headaches as the result of
not bidding his length suit immediately.
The next hand comes from the finals of the knockout teams a few
days later: You're East again, with this fine collection of
trinkets:
S-KQxx H-QJ10x D-Kx C-AKx
The auction begins thusly:
West East
1D 1H
2H 2S
3D 4C
4H ?
Your partnership has been know to raise major suit responses with
three-card support. When opener bids 3D over your 2S, he could
easily be 3-5 in hearts and diamonds, although he might have
four-card support and taking an advance cuebid. At any rate, you
now cuebid 4C and partner signs off in 4H. You're now assuming 3
or 4 hearts and at least five diamonds. Opener should be denying
the Ace of spades, as he failed to cuebid 4S after your 4C, and
that means your side has a spade loser.
The East player now keycarded with 4NT. In another match,
responder cuebid 5C, showing the second-round control. Opener
now bid 5D and responder put a halt to the auction with 5H.
East had an opportunity here to determine whether slam was
playable.
What does opener rate to be more interested in here, second-round
club control or the K of diamonds? Most likely the diamonds,
since if he finds out you have a diamond card, that might cause
him to look more rosily at his hand. With potential slow losers
in clubs and spades, you need partner's suit to be running to get
sufficient discards to make the contract. Give us two possible
openers' hands that are consistent with the bidding,
a) S-10xx H-AKx D-AJ9xx C-Jxx
b) S-10x H-AKxx D-AQJxx C-xx
Hand a) will sign off in 4H, whereas had b) can count nine or ten
red suit winners and contemplate bidding slam, as responder has
also shown controls in the black suits.
At the table, East keycarded with 4NT, winding up in 6H as opener
produced hand a) and the slam was against the odds. This hand
illustrates two principles. The first is that having gone the
cuebidding route to begin with, it's often right to proceed in
the same vein rather than switch over to a keycard request. The
second is that in cuebidding, we should sometimes bypass showing
the cheapest control in favor of showing the value that enables
partner to accurately count tricks. You're only going to have
room for one more cuebid when opener signs off in 4H, and 5C
shows a card that's likely to be of marginal importance at best
to partner. 5D, on the other hand, shows a more relevant card
for opener's hand and one that will allow him to judge the
trick-taking potential. Whether West bids 5H, 6D or 6H now,
your side rates to be in it's best contract.
Finally, we have this hand from Sunday Swiss teams, and you're
now parked in the North chair:.
S-xx H-A109xx D-Qxx C-AKQ
And we have this rousing start to the auction:
South North
1S 2H
3H 4C
4D 4NT
5H ?
Again, responder keycarded upon hearing of opener's diamond
control. Partner showed two keycards without the Queen of hearts,
and South passed it out at the five-level. Opener's hand was:
S-AKQJx H-xxx D-AKJ C-xx
One table played 5H and the other played 6H. Neither managed to
reach 6NT, which needs nothing from the heart suit other than the
Ace. We have five spades, a heart, three diamonds and three
clubs for 12 tricks on the go. North has some concern about the
trump suit, and can address that with another cuebid, 5C. Opener
will bid 5D and now responder continues with 5H. And now opener,
with the fine spades, can revert to a notrump slam, knowing that
responder has some worries about the quality of the heart fit.
The theme from the last two hands seems to be that once we start
cuebidding, we shouldn't change horses in midstream and go the
keycard route unless we can be sure from the answer of how many
tricks are available for us.
That's it for this month, see you again in November.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca) for more
information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pooka for these:
Predicting the Future
Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
advances. - Dr. Lee DeForest, Inventor of TV
The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosive. -
Admiral William Leahy, U.S. Atomic Bomb Project
There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. -
Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923
Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. -
Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science,
1949
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. -
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked
with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing
is a fad that won't last out the year. - The editor in charge of
business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
But what ... is it good for? - Engineer at the Advanced Computing
Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates, 1981
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously
considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently
of no value to us. - Western Union internal memo, 1876.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who
would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David
Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in
the radio in the 1920s.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn
better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible. - A Yale University
management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing
reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found
Federal Express Corp.)
I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and
not Gary Cooper. - Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the
leading role in Gone With The Wind.
A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research
reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy
cookies like you make. - Response to Debbi Fields' idea of
starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. -
Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin,
president, Royal Society, 1895.
If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment.
The literature was full of examples that said you can't do
this. - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique
adhesives for 3-M Post-It Notepads.
So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing,
even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about
funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay
our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So
then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't
need you. You haven't got through college yet.' - Apple Computer
Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P
interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
LENT
****
For years Jan "Moogal" Kofman has said that she would like
to come visit us in Winnipeg. Whenever she mentioned it our
reaction was: "Why would anyone in their right mind want to
come to WINNIPEG?" Well, on Wednesday, September 21st, 2005,
come she did. Since I have lived in Manitoba less than anyone
else I was, naturally, selected as tour guide.
As you know from her excellent pictures of past trips
posted to various Fireside sites, Jan is an inveterate
photographer. Upon picking her up and introducing her to Cora
(our corgi) we took Jan to the outskirts of Winnipeg to show
her its only tourist attraction.
"But it's just a ditch," she noted.
Yes, it was, indeed, a ditch. Well, technically, it was
the Winnipeg Floodway, a ditch that is large enough to contain
any of half of the states in the union--the only manmade
structure visible from the moon other than the Suez Canal--
but a ditch nonetheless.
"That's it? A ditch?"
Yup. And this, I assured her, was to be the HIGH POINT
of the tour. Jan knew enough to ignore my poker face but when
she saw my wife deadpanning she put away her camera.
I never saw Jan take another picture during her stay.
On Thursday the tour took in the Legislative Buildings,
a bunch of bear sculptures ("Bears on Broadway"), a restaurant
on a bridge and a boat trip at "The Forks"--a touristy
shopping center at the juncture of the Assiniboine and Red
Rivers. For the most part, though, everything was a blur of
meals as we toured Winnipeg's finer eateries.
Hurricane Rita hovered in everyone's thoughts as our guest
worried about having a home to return to. Nevertheless, Jan
and I managed to squeeze in a session of bridge on Friday at the
sectional--yes, there was a bridge tournament going on during
her visit.
Firesiders are familiar with the Law of Enthusiastic
No Trumps (LENT). For those who aren't, the concept is
simple. If Partner shows a suit, only to have the opponents
climb over each other to bid No Trump, we might consider a
"surprise" lead of our own suit rather than Partner's.
Opener Partner RHO Us
1C 1H 2NT Pass
3NT Pass Pass Pass
With: S-KJ852 H-94 D- Q63 C-J42 we might try a
devious Spade lead rather than the expected Heart start.
During our session, Jan and I came across a LENT auction
we'd never heard before:
Opener Jan Responder Me
1NT Pass 2C Dble
2NT Pass Pass Pass
2NT? Not 2D? What's up? Well, it sounds like
Opener is well prepared for a Club lead! Sure enough,
Opener held C-AQJx!
We finished first in our direction and second overall
in Friday's 2-session pairs event. On Saturday Jan left
with 5 silver points in her ACBL tally, swearing that someday
she would return to our fair city. Why? Denise says it is
Cora, I'm guessing the silver points. Who knows? :)
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide sessions on
Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net) for more
information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF) series
have been automated for your convenience. You can take any of
the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on either of these
links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Tuna for these:
The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words:
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one
end & a fool on the other.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of
the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through
the minds of either
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit
to decide that nothing can be done together.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you
are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you
with his bills.
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
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Ocbober, 2001
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June, 2005
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December, 2005
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