|
Fireside Chat
|
|
FIRESIDE CHAT JULY 2005
(Special "Best Of" Edition)
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Moogal's FireSide Log
Reprints Of Archived Newsletters
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Welcome to the July, 2005 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
As we told you last month, we decided to take a couple of months
off from doing the newsletter this summer. But we don't want to
leave you high and dry! So we're putting together some "best of"
stuff from our archives -- hope you enjoy it!
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide
Chat" newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
(no evening session July 4!)
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK/FIFEE
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those who attend. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@bellsouth.net,
or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication
and caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking
of taking private lessons, paying a professional to play
tourneys with you, getting involved in a group session
mentoring program... most, if not all, of our commentators
and contributors to this newsletter are available for those
services. Just think how much easier it is to learn
from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2005 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Just a short note to let you all know I survived Las Vegas!
Actually I really enjoyed myself -- getting together with Dloye,
Gail37, Frodo, and GoFigure (and of course, Phranque!) was really
a great experience! It just went by way too fast, I didn't get
to play nearly as much bridge as I wanted to.
I did earn my 'first' Gold points playing in a knockout session
with Dloye. Pretty exciting! And the four of us (GoFigure and
Phranque played an open session and let us women enjoy each
other) came in second in "B" in a single session Swiss. We were
happy to do that, it was a very tough field! (Tho I find most of
them are!) We finally found success when we started using
Frodo's new system, "the menopausal club" -- where 1C means
"whatever I darn well want it to mean!" :))
Hope you enjoy this "best of" edition of the FireSide Chat! We
need to take some time off but we don't want to leave you without
your monthly "fix" so thought we'd just put together some of our
favorite columns and giggles from past issues for your enjoyment.
Be sure to check Moogal's Log for current events though, tourney
winners and any news we have received from you will be up to
date!
Please note that there will be NO Fireside session Monday, July
4, 5pm session because of the holiday. The morning session will
still be held.
See you at OKb!
Sara
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com or bb@wowway.com
===============================================
We'll keep the current stuff first, so (out of the usual order of
things!) we'll put Moogal's Fireside Log here :)
********************
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Tue Jun 7 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 bezel/bridgboy 70.28
Sun Jun 12 07:00 PM
Rank Team Score
5 analisa/oink 2.37
Sun Jun 12 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 Kaltica/moogal 68.75
Tue Jun 14 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 crickett/oink 88.75
2 julie/sara2543 58.18
Sat Jun 18 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 Kaltica/moogal 2.98
Tues June 24 4:00/5:30PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 lucinha/wheels 1.74
Thu Jun 23 07:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 ecofin/jccasper 3.37
Sat Jun 25 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 imogene/josiek 71.67
Sat Jun 25 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score
2 MarlysE/Neophyte 63.89
Sun Jun 26 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 hawes/skipw 66.67
Tue Jun 28 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 hawes/vb 71.67
Our Flight B/C tourney stars:
albertb arrow ask1 benson bernadin birdie desiree dloye dslt
elgringo exute flee frank-1 frodo garyi gmeier grahamg hawes
helen477 imogene judydee julie kitkat lee-1 macavity marlyse
neophyte pollye potts riggin rpoole sannick todd virgil
We encourage you to change your flight to B or C so that you are
competing on an appropriate level -- you can do this on the OKB
website home page. Look for "Change my flight" in the box where
your icon appears. This is OKB's way of letting everyone have a
chance to get some pond points. And, as more and more of you
change your flights, the flighted results will be more realistic.
And, remember, if you do place in the overalls, you are still
eligible for the higher awards!
And thank you to Sara who is now checking the tourney results for
our Fireside friends!
**********************************************************
FIRESIDE'S TEAM GAME
Our June winners:
06-05-2005 Team MBAR Mbar, Gaus271, Judydee & Maverick
06-19-2005 Team JIMM Jimm, Lexow, Eva-1 & Eds
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder list
for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all welcome!
**********************************************************
NOVICE MENTOR TOURNEY
Well done to all our top finishers:
Thu Jun 9 06:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 nodd/pascha 62.50
2 cho/gosi 60.42
3 believer/sha 58.33
4 dslt/gudgie 53.12
5 analisa/oink 51.04
6 rpoole/tar30 50.00
Be sure to show up on the second Thursday each month (July 14th
this month) for your chance to play in this fun, easy-going
session of an OKB mini. You may be encouraged to try the daily
ones!
**********************************************************
We're proud of PAMELA who was an angelfish nominee for June!
**********************************************************
Congrats and well done to our friends who participated in 2005
Canadian Bridge Federation Bridge Week.
Max Vaight (was MVAIGHT) was on the second place STEWART team in
the CNTC flight B teams.
Bill (WINTAKA) finished 4th in the COPC (open pairs) with Tom
Gandolfo of Edmonton.
Way to go!
**********************************************************
Second Place Rose Garden by Richard Pavlicek
I am proud to announce that my hybrid pink roses won second place
in the state contest! Aren't you excited? Perhaps you can guess
what this is all about as you select your calls on these six
problems from a past tourney. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/8w41.htm
Results of the June play contest "Par for the Course" will be
posted July 3, 2005 at 21:00 GMT. For these, and everything
related to the monthly events, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
**********************************************************
Please continue to send me your news -- we'll be back to a full
Chat in September! A Happy 4th of July to our US friends, and
hope everyone is enjoying their summer and vacations!
Hugs...Janice
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A groaner from Davidrg:
A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
====================================
FIRESIDE MEMORIES
=================
October, 2000. We decided to do a "Happy Birthday Fireside"
edition.. here are a few memories from that issue:
(From BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIRESIDE!
I recently asked Colin if he remembered the date of the very
first FireSide session. Turns out he did, (with a little help
from his lovely, diary-keeping wife. Thanks, Denise!) The first
FireSide Bidding Practice session was held on Friday, October 31,
1997. I've been spending a lot of time since he told me that
just remembering.
I remember that very first FireSide... I remember Colin inviting
several of us to be there and participate. In that first
session, only one group of us sat down at the table, and bid
quite a few hands. It was awesome! I can remember thinking,
"Wow! This is so neat! I hope they'll do it again some time,
and let me participate again..."
Hee hee, little did I know where that first, experimental session
was going to lead us! There have been a lot of changes; in
format, in personnel, in scheduling.. it's been a roller coaster
ride at times :-) One thing has remained constant though --
FireSide has always been there for us, delivering a high quality
program.
It's been a wonderful three years for me. I've learned so much.
I've made many wonderful friends there, met people I'm in total
awe of, people I'd never have had the opportunity to get to know
had I not met them through FireSide. It seems a lot of you feel
the same way :-)
********************
(We received many notes from Firesiders with their memories...
I'm including excerpts from a few....)
..."I wasn't brave enough to sit down the first few times, but
finally got enough courage to join at the bidding table. My
learning began at that point. Needless to say, my hands were
shaking so bad I could hardly move my mouse. With the kindness of
all who are part of the Firesides, my confidence grew, and my
bidding and play of the hand became easier.
..."Thanks go, also, to the Table Managers and Mentors who
understand and help a Novice participate in FireSide. I really
appreciate this group who are showing me how to leave my "wimpy"
ways behind, and are contributing so much to my "retreading".
..."I can tell you this.....Without Fireside, I'm not sure I
would have hung around too long.
..."I have made so many friends....either at Fireside or
indirectly... I can't believe what a large part of my life this
has become.
..."Back in those days, there was no friend's list on okb. When I
logged on, I would do a search for "Kaltica" because I always
knew that wherever he was, I could go there and I'd feel welcome.
I guess things don't change---now we always have Fireside to go
to -- a place where we will always learn, feel welcome, meet
wonderful people,and have a good time.
"A few months after I met Colin, he decided to start Fireside
Bidding Practice. I am proud to say that along with a core of
his "groupies," I was among the first bidders at Fireside. It
was such a thrill to be there and to watch Colin officially do
what he was always so talented at...helping novices learn the
game...brimming with such enthusiasm, patience and caring.
..."Other teachers have joined and gone, but the commentors who
remain have the quality of knowledge, humor, and a sense of
caring for people. Those are the qualities that cemented the
Fireside family. The people who participate, I think, share the
caring and humor, and God knows, we are trying to get the
knowledge.
********************
(I had a special request to reprint the following, so hopefully
you are not sick of reading 'my' words yet! -- S)
In closing, I'd like to share my favorite memory of
FireSide...except I'm having a terrible time picking one! There
have been so very many special moments... Colin getting the
Angelfish award, Laura getting the Angelfish award :-), being
lucky enough to have had the chance to be the Table Manager for
each and every commentator that FireSide has had, watching all of
you grow and learn, and become friends.. that's a wonderful
thing, to see the togetherness of all the FireSide folks....
I was talking to Janice about this, and we decided that we do
have a favorite FireSide memory in common. It has to do with the
very togetherness I just mentioned.
Just prior to the Vancouver Nationals in 1999, Colin bought a
laptop computer, so that, in addition to personal business use,
he could stay in touch with us during the tourney, send us daily
reports, and possibly even do his FireSide sessions from there,
if needed.
The first few days of the tourney, we enjoyed his reports, and
had fun visiting with him when he had a chance to log on to
OKbridge in-between sessions. Then, suddenly, silence. We
couldn't imagine what would keep him from sending us his daily
reports...then we got the bad news:
The laptop had been stolen :-(
We felt so awful. What a disaster....
A few of us got to talking, and came up with a plan. :-) We sent
out an email, explaining what had happened, and asking you to
help us raise enough money to try to help Colin buy a new one. We
thought we might be able to raise a few hundred dollars to go
toward replacing the computer.
Well, we always knew that our FireSide family is a wonderful,
caring, and generous group of people. We were thrilled when we
reached $500, happily stunned at $1000, and absolutely moved at
just how generous and caring you folks were when the total went
well over $1500....not only enough contributions to replace the
computer he lost, but money left over to add to the computer fund
that Colin uses to help others. :-)
We surprised Colin with the money at his FireSide, having told
everyone to be there at a certain time. There were so many people
there, even Colin got a little suspicious that something was up.
A few wandered in thinking it must be the GoldWay table! :-) We
all came down out of spec at the same time, and read a poem.....a
favorite line of which was:
"Why many contributed, some of us reckoned,
Was to see Colin speechless, at least for one second!"
And believe it or not, he was! :-)
The way you all rallied, and pitched in to help us achieve our
goal, and even more, to show Colin just how special he really is
to all of us, is truly one of our favorite, and most heart
warming memories.
I'm sure we'll have many many more memories to share as time goes
on. Here's to building happy ones!
See you all at FireSide!
Sara
======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to
"honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou
shall not kill."
======================================================
(I think we ALL recognize the main theme in the following article
by Bridgboy... remember the YELLING though?? I think he's
mellowed a bit since then :)) )
*******************
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
If I asked anyone to tell me the color of their hair, I think a
one-word answer would be sufficient for me to see the blond,
brown, red, black, purple, etc., that adorned their scalp. I
would not have to be hit over the head more than once to see the
unseen hair. Why do bridge players forget this simple concept?
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO BE TOLD YOU HAVE A MINIMUM HAND WITH
TWO SUITS UNTIL I GET THE MESSAGE?!?
Did you not think I heard the bidding to date, and needed to be
reminded that you are a part of the auction?
Here is a typical example:
S AKxxxx
H Axx
D xxx
C x
We open one spade; double on our left; 2S from partner; pass to
us.
Do we have anything extra that we have not shown? Is this not a
minimum opening bid? There is no reason to ever consider doing
anything else but pass. Unfortunately the student holding this
hand thought it was worth a 3S bid and we got way overboard as a
result!
I propose that from now on, whenever any partner tells the same
story twice, we should ask them: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR TODAY?
Maybe our hairdressers will not be the only people who will get a
snicker out of it, and we will all learn to bid our values only
once.
Bob Lavin, aka bridgboy
====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to "Mindy" for this groaner....
"Jock the Painter"
There was a cheap tradesman, a painter called Jock, who was very
interested in making money where he could. He would often thin
the paint to make it go a wee bit further. He got away with this
for some time, until eventually he bid on a very large job for
the local Church, painting their roof. Because Jock's bid was so
competitive, he got the job, and busied himself for several
weeks, erecting scaffolding and planks and buying paint, and
turpentine to thin it of course.
When Jock was nearing the end of the job one overcast day, there
was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened up, and rain
pelted down -- washing his thin paint from all over the church,
and knocking Jock far off the scaffold to fall to the lawn among
the gravestones, surrounded of course by telltale puddles of the
thinned and useless paint.
Jock was no fool. He knew this was the moment of Judgment from
the Almighty, so he fell to his knees, looked heavenward, and
cried,
"Oh... Forgive me! What should I do?"
From above a mighty voice thundered,
"REPAINT! REPAINT! AND THIN NO MORE!"
=====================================================
(Some fun excerpts from MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOGs of the past...)
********************
From July, 2000:
Eric (ETSAND) headed off on vacation this month to Colorado. And,
like me and Sara, decided to add an OKB visit to his itinerary.
On his way home he stopped off for a visit (and bridge game, of
course!) with his online bud, Robert "Mac" (MCGLOHON) McGlohon,
in San Antonio.
Mac says the most interesting part of the outing (his first real
try at face-to-face duplicate) was a director call.
"The first call came after Eric and I bid this:
1C:1S:1N:3D:3H:3N. When Eric lays down a dummy with 3 diamonds,
RHO asks me, 'Do you play New Minor Forcing?' Maybe it was the
ugly look she gave me. Maybe I'm just stupid. But I say,
'Yes -- for one round.' Eric politely interrupts: 'I could
explain this if you'd like me to.' Nope. "Director!" By the
time the director gets there, I've remembered that we don't play
NMF. It's a 4th suit that's forcing for one round. I explain
this to the director, and she, at least, doesn't mind if Eric
talks. He explains that 3D was the only forcing bid open to him.
The director's ruling: 'He's explained to you that they don't
play New Minor Forcing. I don't think you were harmed by it.
Besides, *my* partner bid 3D, too.' And I thought the look RHO
had given *me* was ugly! After I play that 3N for 11 tricks (and
one of our 'tops'), opps turned their dirty looks on themselves.
On our second board against that pair, Eric pre-empts them out of
game for another top score.
"We had three bottom boards, all because I messed up the
bidding somehow, but we had enough 'tops' to finish third in 'A'
and first in 'B' and 'C'. This gave me my very first mps --
0.72. :-)"
Mac says Eric is just as nice in person as he is on OKB, but not
nearly as TALL as he looks on Colin's web page. After the game,
Eric invited Mac over to his Aunt's house (where Eric and family
were staying). Most of the post-game analysis began with the
words, "Well, Colin says ..."
----------------------------------
It was fun writing this month about several OKBers meeting their
on-line friends for the first time. How often I have heard "But
I wouldn't like on-line bridge, I prefer the social aspect". You
try to explain that OKB is actually more social than 'real life'
bridge....but it is difficult to explain the magic that plinks
across your screen, character by character.
I was fortunate to meet two of my good friends this month (two
others are going to be surprised some day to find me on their
doorstep:)) and my wish is for all of you to have this same
opportunity. Just one rule though, if you do: you have to write
to me about it! :)
========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this giggle:
Dumbest Kid in the World?
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to
his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch
while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters
in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do
you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy
coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask
you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the
dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take
the dollar, the game's over!"
==========================================================
(One of my favorite articles by Ian, the very first
one he contributed in April, 2000 :) )
*******************
From IAN'S PARTNERSHIP STUFF
Partnership Stuff - I
=====================
It is generally agreed* that some of the finer points of bridge
cannot be appreciated to the full without a regular partner.
After all, what casual partner is willing to spend many hours
exposed to bad beer and worse lighting just to explore
responder's followups to opener's response to extended reverse
Drury?
---------------------------------------------------------
* Although not universally: there are Hideous Hog tales
that illustrate that even as dummy, partner may need to
be stifled to bring about a positive result.
---------------------------------------------------------
I believe that most treatments of this fascinating topic have
dwelled overmuch on the positive side - positive in the sense of
your climbing Lehmans or Regional Swiss Teams wins, that is.
There is equal interest to be found in the opportunities for
enhancing opponents' score that only exist within a truly
experienced partnership.
Perhaps the most spectacular source of large minus scores can be
obtained through-
Interesting Conventions
-----------------------
It is very difficult to go for truly large numbers playing SAYC.
This is partly true because there are not that many conventional
calls in SAYC, and partly because you usually don't have
agreements about what things like Redouble means with a pickup
partner.
Playing in an established partnership you are free to add all
kinds of handy stuff to your repertoire. One approach that I
thought had theoretical merit, in addition to being cool, was
2-under 2-way preempts. [You see? Your SAYC pickup partner is
never going to agree to play these.] The basic idea is that a
3-level bid shows one of two things: either a bad hand with the
suit 1 step up, or a good hand with the suit 2 steps up. So if
you open 3c, you have a bad hand with diamonds or a good hand
with hearts. Responder follows the general Multi principle:
assume opener has the bad hand and bid accordingly. Opener passes
with the bad hand and 'corrects' - that is bids his real suit -
with the good hand. There can "never" be any ambiguity..
So, armed with this cool tool, you pick up something like:
S x H QTxxxxx D Kxx C Jx
and open 3D (alerted and self-explained as a bad hand with H or a
good hand with S). Undaunted by your barrage, LHO is there with
a 4C bid. Partner joins in with 4S. RHO doubles; and it's your
call.
Before you decide, recall that this is a regular partnership. You
can assume that you have made all your favorite agreements with
this partner, can't you? In particular, you like to agree that
Redouble is rarely needed as an expression of "we gottem pard"
but is more often useful as "heeeeelp!". You can't remember if
you have actually discussed this with this particular partner
but, hopeful as ever, you crack out a brave Redouble. Brave
equals foolhardy in this case as it goes pass .. pass .. pass.
You can assume that partner played the hand to the best of his
ability, but since he assumed that Redouble was showing a strong
spade hand, perhaps the result of -4000 (8 down, redoubled,
vulnerable) should not come as too much of a shock.
The moral of this story? The partnership that perpetrated this
is still going strong; I still haven't reverted to SAYC; but we
don't play 2-under 2-way preempts any more :)
=========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Obraven for this one:
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible
class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on
a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing
her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and
started running again. As she ran she once again began
to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...
But please don't shove me either!"
========================================================
(Also from April 2000, our first issue of the FireSide Chat,
from Kaltica....)
********************
AND FINALLY KALTICA
And now a "few" words from our friend and founder, who
always has a "few" words........(at least)
Our fearless leader, Kaltica (Colin Ward), can be found
doing his FireSide sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings,
and Friday evenings.
Colin is teaching us all a new language... we're learning
about "MAXI-FLEX" "ROFA" "POS" "BORIS" "LOTUS"
"AJAR".....these are just a few examples of some of the neat
things Colin teaches us at his sessions. Come join us to
find out what they are :-)
Here he tells us why we should believe he's a conservative
bidder.... dunno bout you, but I'm convinced? (hardly....)
................................
No One Listens
You know, I keep telling everyone that by local
standards I am considered a very conservative bidder.
People still point to the Pass-1NT-2H overcall on
H-J9xxx and nothing else. The opponents were vul,
I wasn't. Partner's a passed hand. Seems routine
in Winnipeg circles, at least.
I keep telling those who raise an eyebrow at
my bids to kibitz Kenny "KSired" Sired sometime.
No one listens, though.
There is a gag about how to defend against
a Canadian slam: Cash your Aces and Kings, put Partner
on lead to cash hirs, then sit back and wait for your
trump tricks. This joke was first told shortly
after Kenny and his brother, David, represented
Canada in the World Open Pairs in Bairritz, France.
A coincidence? I'll let you be the judge.
Consider this trump holding:
Dummy: D- 1042
Declarer: D- AQ865
The first question that comes to mind is:
"Where is the REST of the hand?" Kenny refused
to provide it. Let that be our first clue. :)
The second question that occurs to us is:
"What are they doing in 6D on this hand?" The
GOOD news is that they weren't in 6D. The BAD news
is that they were in SEVEN Diamonds. Clue #2. :)
"No sense going down in a cold grand,"
Kenny explained as he led the D-10 from dummy,
pinning the D-9 on his left. Two more finesses
in the trump suit and RHO's D-KJ73 was finally
drawn. Similar fortune in the other three suits
yielded 13 tricks.
"Why 7D?" I asked.
"Well," Kenny explained patiently, "Seven
because it's cold, Diamonds because they were
our STRONGEST suit!" :)
Case closed.
=======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Men vs. women....
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men,
showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average
only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that
women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat
everything they say.
Looking stunned, he said, "What?
=====================================================
(Reading this one makes me realize just how much I
miss Captain's Tuesday night sessions... )
From December 2000:
THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING
=============================
Can't Win for Losing
Would you like one aspect of your game to
reach expert level and beyond?
Here's a hand for you .. IMPS --
A hand I held some years back.
xx AKQJxx xx xxx
The bidding has gone P..P..P..your bid?
Answers:
A) 1H
B) Pass
C) 2H
D) 3H
A) partner's hand -- Kxx xxxx Qxx Axx (result -790 as
opponents got pushed to 4S and partner doubled..)
Partner's comment: "moronic, only 10 points.. fails
rule-of-15 by 3 points.. opponents own the spades.pass
it out!"
B) partner's hand -- Kxxx xx AKx JTxx (result other
table bid and made 3nt) partner's comment "you will never
be a bridge player if you are not going to recognize the
trick potential of a hand like that.. To pass this shows
complete lack of common card sense.. you should stick to
bingo"
C) partner's hand -- xxx Txxx KQx AQx (result 4H
X -500 ) partner's comment "A 2H bid typically shows
about 13 points. can you not count? Only a cretin
would bid 2H with this hand.."
D) partner's hand -- KJTx x KTx QTxxx (result down
1 -100) partner's comment "when are you going to learn
to pass these out? Why take a minus when you can just
pass it out.. ?? your stupidity is boundless! A 3H bid
shows 7 card suit with poor defence..stronger in pass-
out seat.. I count only 6.. how is partner supposed to
know this is your hand?"
Now that you have considered the options and the possible
downfalls..which action do you take..?
Answer..as this game is a timed event, it is necessary for you to
choose one of the actions above (or another ) and live with the
decision. All actions are fraught with danger..
Lesson -- live with partner's decisions -- sometimes there are no
good choices available. Just because your partner did not make
the bid you would have made does not necessarily mean it was
wrong on another day. Many world class players have yet to learn
this simple premise. You need only to read the "Bridge World"
bidding contests and read comments like "1H what else?" or "2nt
bidders are wrong" or "what's the problem?"
My advice: If you are making comments such as above -- change
either your attitude or your game, and if your partner is making
those comments, change partners -- even if you still have to
sleep with him!
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thank you, BobW, for this giggle:
The Kindergarten teacher asked little Johnny if he
knows his numbers.
"Yes, I do." he said. "My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good
job. What comes after ten?"
"Jack," says Johnny.
===========================================================
(Our readers sometimes share their thoughts with us....)
From January, 2001:
Dear Sara and Colin,
I agree with you and Colin on this subject. When I was playing in
Birmingham in the side game with Joy (mystyblu the saint). The
side game usually attracts Pro-clients, who have been knocked out
early in the "main" event. Also though it is a host of lots of
other levels and personalities. I was having a hard time figuring
out a bid by my pd, so I alerted it as U2nt and bid my minor. (no
I didn't know that 2nt over a weak 2 was the same as a 1NT bid by
them), and these two old geezers started laughing at me. It did
shake me and my hands were shaking so bad by the time they left
my table I could hardly hold my cards. I mentioned to them that
they were rather cruel for laughing at another's mistakes.
Later that night I told a friend what had happened, and he said
that I could have called the director and have them chastised. I
decided to get them another way. The next time I sat down at
their table, I killed with them with kindness and charm, by the
time I left the table they were offering that I go out for a
smoke and they would turn the dummy for me. This was the first
time all week that I saw them actually smile (you know the type).
Sometimes its our job in life to remind folks that kindness works
better than anger. Kindness by example worked and I was happy to
leave that table with a smile on all 4 of our faces. It is
amazing how when you share joy, happiness and love with all, that
it WORKS sometimes.
Love, Kathy
=================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thank you, DavidRG, for this one:
See Ya
A married man left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of
going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his paycheck)
partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into his
furious wife. After a couple of hours of nagging and berating,
his wife asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a
couple of days!?!"
"That would suit me just fine!!"
So, Monday went by, and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and
Wednesday came and went with the same result. Come Thursday, the
swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little, just out
of the corner of his left eye...
==============================================
(From January 2001...)
DEALING WITH DANN
=================
The Correct Bid or The Right Bid?
I hope we all have enjoyed the holidays, and can continue to do
so at least until we get the credit card statement.
Putting us back into the bridge mode is hard -- until we receive
those bills -- then we have to play to amuse and save up to pay
off those bills!!!
If you read Captain's article last month, this article will
hopefully serve as a reminder.
If not, you might want to go back and read it. It is well worth
your time.
If you have attended any of my sessions, you realize that I feel
that one of the most important things about bridge is "partner".
Without a good partner, the game is not as enjoyable -- so keep
that in mind when you want to tell them what you think they did
wrong. Sometimes, when pard tries to explain our errors, we
realize our fatal error of the day was agreeing to play with a
partner who has to tell us about any errors that we committed.
So keep an open mind, and expect the same from a good pard.
One of my favorite quotes from when I started playing bridge some
15 years ago still rings true every time someone asks me,
"What's the right bid with this hand?"
BIG JOHN ANDERSON, an ACBL tournament pro at that time
explained this to me:
There are usually at least 2 answers to that question:
1) the CORRECT bid -- that's the one that wins those
bidding contests, and
2) the RIGHT bid -- that's the bid that wins at the
table.
So, when you receive a pause before I answer that question, you
now know why -- I'm trying to decide which answer you want, and
reflecting on big John's wisdom in his answer given to me some 15
years ago.
Just something else to think about before we point out our pard's
mistakes -- especially if it's in the bidding. Maybe pard was
trying to win the bidding contest,or perhaps we were just at the
wrong table.
=======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thank you, Delb, who says:
"I always enjoy your little "breaks" in the Fireside Chat, so
when I received this from a friend, I thought of you:"
The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a
colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for bridge," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on
his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there
are three doctors there already!
====================================================
(Also from January 2001)
ECOFIN'S BACK TO THE BASICS
===========================
TELL YOUR STORY
This principle is best illustrated by a story that I read in the
Bridge Bulletin a number of years ago. About halfway through the
session at a regional tournament, one individual became very ill
and had to withdraw. The director asked if anyone in the room
would consider finishing the session with the remaining partner.
No one responded. However, the director noticed a kibitzer at
one of the tables and asked if she would mind finishing the
session. The woman said that she didn't mind, but that she
didn't know much about bidding. The director told her to just try
and tell partner what she had. This sounded simple enough, so
she agreed to join the fray.
On the first hand, the lady opened with 4C, which was doubled
back to her, whereupon she promptly bid 4D, which was also
doubled back to her, and she now bid 4H. Sure enough her
distribution was 1-4-4-4.
While this story is an exaggeration, it does serve to illustrate
a very important lesson. The process of bidding is very much
like telling your partner a story with respect to your hand.
There are several corollaries to this.
First, once you have told your story don't tell it again.
Second, tell it as quickly and as easily as you can, and finally,
once you have told your story, respect your partner's decision.
In a recent tournament on OKB, I held the following hand:
S Kxxxx H Axx D xxxx C x.
My partner opened with 1S, and my RHO overcalled with 2H. The
pressure was now on me. Clearly, I am going to compete to the 4S
level, and since I have a hand that is primarily offensively
oriented, I finally decide to bid 4S.
I believe this has several advantages. It tells my partner
that I am relatively weak (the principal of fast arrival). Also,
it puts all the pressure on them (the principal of making them
make the last guess), and I have told my story as simply and as
quickly as possible.
After my bid of 4S, my LHO now bids 5H, which comes back around
to me. Good. I now get to use my favorite bid: DOUBLE. I have
one quick trick in trumps, and partner should have enough to set
this. Furthermore, the double gives partner all of his options.
He can pass, or he can choose to bid on.
After the tourney was over, I reviewed the bidding on this hand.
A large number of pairs bid 2S or 3S with my hand. The
disadvantage of each of these bids is that it provides the
opponents with valuable bidding room to communicate their
information. Sure enough, over each of these bids, my LHO was
able to enter the auction, and when we competed to 5S, they were
able to double, safe in the knowledge that they had given each
other enough information to assist in the defense.
Another example will serve to illustrate the concept of telling
your story only once. Suppose you hold the following hand:
S Kxxx H xx D AJxx C KQx
and your RHO opens with 1H. Clearly, a takeout double is right
here. Now suppose that your LHO bids 2H and your partner bids
2S, whereupon your RHO now bids 3H. Applying the story rule, I
have a minimum for my bid, and I have told my entire story with
my double. The rest of the decisions belong to partner. Bidding
again should suggest a much stronger hand. I have told my story
once, no need to tell it again.
It has been a pleasure to write these articles, and I can only
hope that they have provided some assistance in this fascinating
game called bridge. I wish all of you a happy holiday season,
and hope that you have a most prosperous New Year.
I would like to extend a special thanks to Sara (believer) and
Janice (moogal) for their patience with me in doing these
articles.
(Editor's Note: We love Dale's articles, and he's always a
pleasure to work with. If anything, WE appreciate HIS patience
with our nagging, and our ancient computers which make it a
challenge at times for him to send us his column. We're glad to
have this opportunity to publicly thank you, Dale, and ALL the
writers who give so much of their time to try to help us master
this game!)
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Kaltica for the following, which
he hopes some of you may not have seen yet:
This story is a bridge folk legend, and is
almost surely untrue. But we won't let THAT petty
detail get in the way of a great yarn, will we? :)
========================
Little Georgie had an uncle whom he saw
only during holiday season visits. The man
never explained why, but he didn't bring presents.
Other aunts, uncles and grandparents brought toys,
games and clothes as gifts. But never so much as a
little candy from this particular uncle! Instead,
he brought stories of exotic places and exciting
experiences that fired the young boy's imagination.
On one such visit the man tried to teach his nephew,
Georgie, how to play bridge.
"Each hand ends the same way," the man explained,
"with passes. See three of these? Then the hand
is passed out."
As he spoke, the man absent-mindedly wrote "See 3?
P.O." on a scrap of paper.
"If your partner bids a major, RAISE with MORE than
2, but DON'T raise with 2 or less," continued
the man, writing "R > 2, D < 2" as he lectured.
A few months after this particular lesson, the
man died. Georgie never learned to play bridge well,
but he kept these cryptic notes as a momento of his
favourite uncle. Decades later, during another holiday
season, George (now an adult) faced writer's block in
deciding what to call two of his science fiction
characters. At this moment, he spotted the old notes
that his uncle had written those many years before:
"See 3? P.O." and "R > 2, D < 2".
These scribblings got George Lucas past this
impasse by giving us the Star Wars robot names:
C-3PO and R2D2.
Later, George is said to have remarked wistfully:
"Some gifts take a LONG time to open..."
=========================================================
From October 2002:
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
====================
What's the Difference Between a 'Tica and a 'Taka?
As most of you that have read our articles and seen us play on
OKBridge know, I have a similar username (Wintaka) to Colin Ward
(Kaltica). We are also long-time partners that have played in
several important events, including two Canadian Team finals,
several Red Deer IMP Pairs Calcuttas, and team games at our local
tournaments. Our readers may be wondering if he and I are
identical clones, two peas in a pod, or IS there a difference
between a (Kal)tica and a (Win)taka?. Colin and I have similar
and ardently held viewpoints on many aspects of bidding, but
there is also a divergence between our theories on several
fronts. This submission will describe the points of variance
between them, and perhaps illuminate the thought processes that
are whirling about in their minds.
1) A 'tica is an overcaller, and a 'taka is a balancer.
Colin, as most of you that have played on OKB well know, loves to
get in there like a dirty shirt, overcalling on a wing and a
prayer on some pretty outrageous hands. Indeed, he regards an
opening bid by the adversaries as a one round force....on HIM to
bid, irrespective of what his hand actually contains in the way
of high cards or distribution. Bill is somewhat more deliberate
in his intervention, preferring to have 10+ HCP if vul, 8+ if
not. He also tends NOT to overcall, particularly at the
two-level, if he has the "death holding," of xxx in RHO's suit.
Colin, on the other hand, pays scant attention to vulnerability,
referring to it as "some funny looking colours that he can't
understand", and jokingly refers to it as "something accountants
may fret and worry about, but has no relevance for a BRIDGE
player."
The difference in overcalling styles is basically a function of
what each of us believes the principal objective of entering the
auction to be. For Colin, the idea is to gum up the works for
the opponents and not EVER let them have a free run in the
bidding if he has ANY say in the matter whatever. For Bill,
although he too likes to be a nuisance, he does not revel in it
to the extent that Colin does, and it's just one of several
factors he considers in his overcalls. The concept of lead
direction and the notion that the hand could actually belong to
us are in the forefront of Wintaka's thought processes, whereas
to Kaltica those are just incidentals.
It's worth noting, by the way, that if your overcalling style is
rather frisky, any BALANCING action should be fairly rock-solid,
as you are NOT usually going to catch partner with very much for
hir pass in direct chair. That's why Colin may sometimes have a
better hand if he acts in passout seat than he would for a direct
overcall. It's entirely a logical function of the partnership's
overcalling style. On the flip side, if your overcalls tend to
be rather sound, the player in balancing chair needs to be more
aggressive, as partner MAY have a fairly decent hand that hi
considered inappropriate for a direct overcall.
The upside of a bold overcalling style is the confusion that it
may sow in the opponents' ranks, and the hindrance it poses to
them in reaching their optimum contract. The downside is that
you may be nailed for a sizeable penalty, and an offshoot is that
potential games can be missed because of the caution that must be
exercised by advancer, who will often pass with a decent hand but
no outright fit.
The sound overcaller won't often go for a number and his side can
accurately judge how high to compete in the auction and whether
to try for game. On the other hand, he isn't throwing up much of
a roadblock in the opponents' bidding endeavours. And he often
faces a tough decision LATER in the auction when they grind to a
halt in a partscore and he now has to decide whether to get back
in. In a "raise auction" the opponents have located a fit so
there is a reasonable chance we may have a safe haven and a
playable contract our way. The dangerous auctions to balance
into are 1D-p-1H-p-1NT(or 2D)-p-p. Here there is NO established
fit their way, so the hand could be a misfit for BOTH sides.
Moreover, responder could have a fairly decent hand of 8-10
points, and have passed since hi did not have game ambitions, but
is perfectly willing to crack the whip if an unwary opponent
chooses to get involved in the auction. As a result, successful
balancing is largely the result of good "table feel." The
frisky overcaller will contend that he may be rolling the dice on
his initial action, but that the so-called "solid citizens" are
engaging in a real crap shoot in the BALANCING decisions, when
the opponents have already been able to exchange a limited amount
of information.
One more final thought is that partnerships have to decide
whether opener is forced to re-open with a double regardless of
shape when the auction proceeds something like 1S-2D-p-p back to
him, or whether he should only do it with shortness in the enemy
suit and support for the unbids. Some decide that yes, a
reopening double IS forced, in order to punish someone that has
overcalled on junk. In this way, they are deviating from sound
bridge principles, and introducing an element of uncertainty into
opener's actions, as we continue the auction along to
1S-2D-p-p-dbl-p-2H-p-2S. If the reopening double IS forced,
opener now may just have a hand where he doesn't like hearts.
However, if opener would only double in passout chair with
SHORTNESS in their suit, this auction now promises a VERY strong
hand, since opener was not forced to double and could have bid 2S
instead. So the overcaller has already won a victory of sorts in
that your side has moved out of the realm of natural, generally
accepted bidding principles and sacrificed quite a bit in their
hunger to nail your hide to the wall. In my experience,
aggressive overcallers benefit to a certain extent from the
desire of the opponents to still reach for the stars and achieve
the OPTIMUM contract, rather than just settle for a reasonable
middle ground and take what they can get.
2) A 'tica defines point count, and a 'taka focuses on shape
The starting point for this discussion is the auction 1S-2H,
regardless of whether you play SAYC or 2/1 GF. Kaltica maintains
that a "high reverse" of 3C or 3D here by opener MUST show extra
values, 16+ HCP, and that a 2S rebid could be a minimum, usually
unbalanced hand, that may NOT have extra length in spades.
Wintaka agrees with this only in a LIMITED sense, and believes
that opener SHOULD bid the new suit if he's got reasonable shape
and his points concentrated in the long suits. Let's take a look
at several possible opening hands:
a) S--AQ10xx H--Jx D--AKxx C--Kx
b) S--AKJxx H--x D--AJ109x C--xx
c) S--AQJxx H--xx D--AK10x C--xx
d) S--KQ10xx H--xx D--AJxx C--Kx
Both of us would bid 3D on hand a) and 2S on hand d). The latter
hand is not really good enough to make the space-consuming 3D
rebid, which may leave partner over a barrel. He may have extra
values with slam a possibility, or could have a tough decision
whether to go for 3NT or a minor suit game. The difference for
us is on the second and third hands, where Colin would STILL
rebid 2S, to define opener's hand is minimum, whereas I would
rebid 3D in both those instances, especially in a 2/1 style. My
feeling is that while a) has a few more points than b) or c), the
latter hands are the practical equivalent because of distribution
and concentration of values. On hand b) especially, I fail to
see how opener can adequately and safely describe his hand after
a 2S rebid. If partner jumps to 3NT, aren't you just going to be
ecstatic about not having shown your diamond suit. You could be
in the wrong game, or cold for slam. Even if partner LETS you
get in your diamonds by bidding 2NT, the fifth diamond will
probably have to go unshown if responder follows up with 3NT
next. Put it this way: if partner drives to slam in ONE of my
suits after a 3D rebid, I would expect it to have a play.
In the same vein, let's contemplate opener's hand after 1D:1H
with S--Axx H--Q10xx D--AKJxx C--x. I would tend to value
the hand to a 3H raise, with 14 HCP and 2 or 3 points for the
singleton club, depending on how much you award for short suit
points. Colin probably would raise to 2H only, and hope responder
can bid again. Another difference between us is that I tend to
bid aggressively as opener with a fit, and rely on responder to
put on the brakes with a marginal hand and no fit for my original
suit. Kaltica, on the other hand, prefers that opener not
stretch on the rebid and that responder must keep the bidding
alive if game is still remotely possible. The above hand is a
matter of perspective, as I consider opener to be full values for
a jump raise and Colin would dub it as a slight overbid.
3) 'taka veers away from 'tica with opener's one-level rebids.
Now we move to the scenario where the auction has gone 1C:1D,
1C:1H or 1D:1H, and opener must now choose his rebid. 'Taka
believes that if opener bids a major at the one-level here, he
should be promising an UNBALANCED hand, where his minor is a
legitimate suit with usually five or more cards. Therefore, a
1NT rebid is permitted with a four-card major IF opener has a
balanced hand. This makes it easier for responder to preference
opener's minor if he is not totally comfortable with the idea of
playing in notrump. The price for this is that when opener DOES
rebid 1NT and our side has a 4-4 major suit fit but responder
isn't strong enough to move towards game, we have to play the
notrump contract. For me, that is a minor inconvenience,
particularly at IMPs, since the notrump contract will often be
making and we are looking at an adverse swing ONLY if 1NT is down
while a partial can be achieved in the major suit. Moreover, in
the "Walsh" style, after a 1C opening, responder with less than
game-forcing values SHOULD bid a major suit if he has one, even
with equal or longer diamonds. For Colin, the major suit fit is
paramount, so opener MUST rebid a major on these auctions, even
if his hand is flat as a pancake. A lot of ink has been spilled
on this topic and the debate may never be resolved, but I would
submit these two hands as examples to show the pitfalls and
benefits of each of the two approaches, with the auction having
proceeded 1C:1H
a) Opener 1 S--KQ9x H--x D--AQx C--AJ10xx
Opener 2 S--KQ9x H--Jxx D--Kxx C--A10x
Opener 3 S--KQ9x H--Qxx D--A10x C--K9x
Responder S--J10xx H--Axxx D--Jx C--Qxx
It's likely that a 1S rebid by opener will be passed here, but
game is pretty reasonable opposite #2, and IF responder knew for
sure that opener DID have an unbalanced hand, he could well
muster up a raise, knowing that he's got four card support and
two KNOWN goodies outside, and a possible ruffing value in
diamonds as well. However, if opener is permitted to rebid 1S
with a balanced hand, then responder cannot afford the boost
since we might be overboard at the TWO-level. So the guarantee
of an unbalanced hand is a big gainer with Opener 1, but loses
out slightly on #2, where the 1NT rebid misses a 4-4 spade fit
and lands us in a notrump contract going down. You'll note,
however, that the opponents might well compete in diamonds if
opener is allowed to rebid 1S and responder passes. #3 is a
wash, as we can make a partial in either 1NT or in spades. At
any rate, this kind of auction is one in which Colin and I both
have fairly strong views, and we've been singularly unsuccessful
in our respective attempts at persuading each other of the merits
of his convictions. All attempts at enlightening the heathen
have failed miserably. :}
Anyway, that's a wrap for this month. There are of course OTHER
differences between a 'tica and a 'taka, but we'll explore that
in greater depth in a future article.
========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
And one more from Pooka:
Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a
terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became
something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record
of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three
hundred times in a single year.
That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.
He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar
job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for
leaving his previous position.
Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."
============================================================
From April 2001, our first anniversary issue. We asked
contributors for a bio so you could get to know them better....
********************
Our first "bio" comes from that very special
"big fish", Tuna :-)
Before I worked at OKbridge
All My Jobs:
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got
canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't
hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for
it. The job was only so-so anyhow.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was
exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
note worthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any
patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn't fit
in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't
live on my net income.
I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance
company, but the work was just too draining.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because
it was always the same old grind.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a
job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
So I shuffled to where I am. I always claimed I would cross this
bridge when I got to it. I've got my heart in it, and although
not paid like Trump, I still squeeze in time to enjoy acting like
a card.
===========================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for this giggle:
Caught for speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid, stopped for speeding,
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
==========================================
Also from April 2001:
LBROWN'S HOT SEAT
=================
PLAYING "LIVE" BRIDGE
Well, well, well. If it isn't LBrown. She actually found some
time to write an article for the Fireside Chat. Yep, I did! As
most of you know, I recently "retired" from my regular
commentator duties to ensure the ongoing success of my current
business and to undertake the responsibilities of starting a new
one. Things have been going great, and I want to thank all my
well-wishers...and to remind you guys... I haven't forgotten
about you... don't forget about me!
Sara asked for a brief bio from the contributors for the
anniversary edition. Most everyone knows something about my life,
so just to keep it brief... I'm STILL 39 (for a few more months
anyway), I still live 25 miles northwest of NYC, I'm still
married to a wonderful man named Fred (for 16+ years), my dog
that is constantly falling down the stairs is still alive (much
to my relief!). I'm pursuing a promising bridge partnership with
a great friend from OKbridge (MVaight) so things are pretty darn
great!
So what's missing in my life? Probably what's missing from yours,
too. I miss the bridge club!!! What??? You don't? You've never
been? Why on earth not?! ohhhhh, I know... there are a few things
that my students dread the most about bridge clubs and
tournaments... but let's just cut to the chase and deal with that
one dreaded word...
DI-RECT-ORRRRRRRRR!
Now, I agree. If you hear it being yelled across the room like
that, then it's pretty darn obnoxious. Yes, some people call "da
judge" like in that tone, but not everyone. The North American
bridge organization, the American Contract Bridge League (ACBL)
encourages everyone to call the director in nice, soothing tones,
such as:
directorplease
That doesn't make you feel any better?
Then let's talk a little about the role of the director.
Primarily, the director is assigned to keep the bridge movement
moving. When the game is started, it is the director that has
decided how many boards you are going to play, in what order, and
how much time there is for a round. That's the organizational
aspect of being a director. Then there is the judicial aspect...
the one everyone fears.
Let me say this clearly. There is nothing to be afraid of! The
director is there to make sure everything runs smoothly, and if
there is a minor glitch (or even a major one) - the buck stops
with the director.
If a mechanical error has occurred, such as an insufficient bid,
a lead out of turn, a revoke or an inadvertently exposed card,
that means there has been an irregularity in the playing or
bidding of the hands. OKBridge is wonderful in that the software
prevents you from making such mistakes. We are all human, and the
rules of bridge account for our mistakes. The Director is there
to make sure that the integrity of the game remains intact.
It might seem reasonable to you to tell the opponents to pick up
the revoked card and follow suit. It's the "nice" thing to do,
right? Well, as nice as it might be, what occurs at your table is
being compared to what will occur at other tables where that
particular hand is being played. The unfortunate fact of the
matter is that the revoke (or exposed card), could very well help
the declarer make another trick or could help your partner defend
a hand one trick better by knowing that you have another card in
that suit, or worse yet, a particular card in that suit. It's
simply not fair for the other people in the room to not have the
same advantages as the defender or declarer in this instance. So,
in order to maintain EQUITY for the rest of the people in the
room, a director is called, and certain rules established by the
ACBL will be followed for that particular board.
You see? No big deal! No recriminations... no fingerpointing...
just a plain and simple "this is how we deal with this situation
from this point on". The director is NOT there to punish you or
your partner. The director is representing every other player in
that room to make sure that the playing field remains level.
Repeat after me:
The director is my friend!
Be GLAD when the director is called. It is much easier for an
objective third party to decide what to do in a particular
situation than it is for the table participants. That way
everyone remains friends!
The one thing I tell my students... if an irregularity occurs...
call the director! Do not accept your partner's or your
opponent's word on how to resolve a particular situation. You're
not allowed to. The only person who is allowed to state what
should happen in the case of an irregularity is the director.
Director calls are sometimes a great learning situation... and we
should never shy away from them!
So, get your rear end to your local club or tournament!
Experience playing bridge live! Enjoy the social aspects, seeing
people smile, having something to nosh on (at my club the
director is my kind of gal - a chocoholic) and most importantly,
meeting new friends! If you have no partner, they'll usually
arrange one for you - let them know in advance. Or better yet...
consider coming to the ACBL National tournament in Toronto (July
19-29) for a couple days, a weekend or the entire 10 days! Meet a
ton of your OKBridge and Fireside friends! Make new friendships!
There are LOTS, and I mean LOTS, of us going. If you're a novice,
you can play in a separate area that is dedicated to the novice
and intermediate players, called "Newplicate". They'll even
arrange partners for you. It'll be wonderful, trust me! And then
you can look forward to meeting your newest "best" friend ... the
Director!
======================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Mindy for this giggle:
Quirks About Life That You Notice By The Time You Are Fifty
- Most people deserve each other.
- All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.
- The one who snores will fall asleep first.
- The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the
amount of money spent on the wedding.
- If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the
next time they are in need.
- The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly
when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.
- Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the
weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.
=======================================================
From March 2002:
GUIDO'S REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF
===============================
Bidding Lessons of a Lifetime
OK, folks, you've been lucky. I've taken a few months off, but
once again I'm taking bandwidth to pass along a few of my weird
ideas about bridge.
Here is my short list of the most important lessons I have
learned.
1) Understand evaluation. No single method of evaluation is
perfect or nearly so. Use high card points, cover cards,
controls, losing trick count, inside-out (a Jeff Ruebens
invention sadly neglected), Law of Total Tricks, honor tricks,
etc. etc. Learn how the value of your hand changes as the
auction progresses. Note, please, that this will improve your
results regardless of who is sitting across the table from you.
2) Use fewer conventions and define more treatments. A
treatment is a natural call with a defined range or shape or both
(example: 1H-3H can be defined as invitational with 4 trumps -
that's a treatment. 1N-2C asking for a 4 card major is a
convention). Natural bidding has all sorts of advantages. You
will have fewer misunderstandings and will often have shorter,
less revealing auctions.
3) The best system/treatment/convention is the one your partner
likes. This often contradicts number 2 above, but it is still
true. If your partner is in love with Inverted Reverse Kumquat,
by all means play it. After the session you can try to talk some
sense into her/him/it, but that is after the session. If your
partner is happy and comfortable with the bidding methods you
will do better - regardless of how inferior the methods are.
4) Keep your bidding rules simple. The most obvious example is
deciding when 4NT is Blackwood (or, worse, which suit is agreed
in RKC). It is infinitely superior to have a sub-optimal
understanding than a misunderstanding. Ian and I have a very
simple Blackwood rule: 4NT is Blackwood only when it is either a
jump, or it is bid on the 1'st or 2'nd round. You might hate
that rule, but we ALWAYS know what our 4NT calls mean.
5) If you know where you are going, get there quickly. This
makes life easier for your partner, prevents misunderstandings,
and limits the information you give your opponents. It is much,
much harder to defend against 1H-3H; 4H than 1H-2C; 2D-2H;
3C-3S; 3N-4H.
6) Plan your auction in advance. Pauses (often called going out
to lunch) in the middle of auctions provide your opponents with
useful information, and put your partner under great ethical
strain. There is NEVER a reason to go out to lunch in an
"expected" sequence such as 1H-1S. No matter what your hand is
as opener, you should have prepared for a 1S (and other expected
responses) before opening the bidding. If the bidding goes
1H-2C; 2D-5S then, yes, feel free to take a few seconds to
figure out what is going on.
7) Game always comes first. Worry about slam bidding
secondarily. If a bid could be either a search for the best game
contract or a slam move, it is looking for the best game.
Obviously, you need partnership agreement here, and any
exceptions should be well thought out and agreed to in advance.
8) When in doubt, bid 3NT. It might be the best contract; and
it might make even if it is a horrible contract. If you are not
sure what to bid, any guess might be wrong, and 3NT is often
best -- or at least decent.
9) Style is important. It is not important what style you play
(sound openings, light openings, whatever.) It IS important
that you understand your partner's style and she understand
yours. Ask your partner the following question: How often are
you going to accept a simple game invitation (1H-3H or whatever).
You can play that responder invites freely, in which case
acceptance will be less frequent. You can play that responder
invites only with sound values, in which case acceptance will be
very frequent. Ian accepts 90% of game invitations, so I have
(what I think are) solid values to invite. It works, but so does
the opposite.
10) Don't give your partner any unnecessary problems. Keep it
simple.
11) Treat your partner as he wants to be treated. If he doesn't
want to discuss hands during play, don't discuss them. If she
likes wisecracks to keep the game loose, make wisecracks (aimed
at yourself is best, by the way).
12) If your partner has Velveeta cheese in her refrigerator,
NEVER EVER let her choose where to go to dinner.
=================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Wedding Vows
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing
"wedding." The wedding vows went like this:
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be
held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present.
You may kiss the bride."
======================================================
Also from October, 2002:
Just Jill
=========
Feeling My Oats
My husband is a patient man,
He's waited seven years;
(Or if you count the three before,
That's ten then, it appears...)
Before that time, I would not play
A hand of bridge with him;
In fact, I showed no interest 'til
This recent sudden whim.
I don't know what's come over me,
And I don't think he cares;
It matters more that *now I play*
(*That* caught him unawares!)
But being Ian's partner is
A tricky business here;
His expertise is very high
And mine is nowhere near.
It helps to play with others who
Are closer to my skill,
And not to take advantage of
His natural good will. ;-)
I like to play with Sara 'cuz
She rarely ever bites;
Besides, the dumb mistakes I make
Are outweighed by delights.
It's challenging to play against
My husband and his pard;
They tend to take up bidding space
Which makes it very hard.
I work and sweat to count my points,
Deciding how to play,
Then Ian, on my right-hand side,
Precludes what I might say!
I hate it when he does that 'cuz
I'd like to bid my hand,
But jumping up to level 3
Is not what I had planned!
So when I'm in a bidding funk,
I ask my friend to help;
We go somewhere to practice and
Untangle all the kelp!
We open up a dialog
And chat about each hand,
About what we might bid or what
We think we understand.
"When you say 2NT to me
I think what you just said
Is that you have a lot of points
So we are way ahead..."
"And when I answer with 3 clubs
I'm trying to explore
A fit in hearts or spades with you...
Tell me where you have four."
My confidence in bidding is
Increasing more each day;
But bidding isn't all there is
'Cuz then you have to play!
(c)Copyright 2002 by Jill Wilson
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
A little bonus from Kaltica this month: :)
A Players Lament
****************
While we fell for near all the canards
And we both looked around for new pards
The opps were a curse
But no worse than this verse
As they bid like they'd seen all the cards.
================================================
From March 2002:
SPECIAL TREATS
==============
We're also featuring wonderful 'counterpoint' articles from
Kaltica and Moogal, in response to last month's article by
Wintaka.
First Kaltica
-----------------
'Tica Talks 'Taka
In last month's Fireside Chat Bill "Wintaka" Treble wrote about
some of the differences in our styles. I agree with all of the
points he made, but would like to add some counterpoint.
1) A 'Tica is an overcaller, and a 'Taka is a balancer.
This is undeniably true. Billy once alerted my pass of my RHO's
1C opening bid. When asked its meaning Billy shrugged and said:
"I don't know. I've never seen him do this before!" :)
2) A 'Tica defines point count, and a 'Taka focuses on shape
In sharp contrast to the Rule of 20 crowd, 'Tica always insists
on 11 High Card Points for any first or second seat opening bid.
The focus isn't so much on WHETHER 'Tica bids on shape but WHEN.
'Tica is much more comfortable bidding LATER than immediately
with a shapely hand that lacks HCPs. This means that 'Tica will
often PASS hands that others would open either at the one level
or, more often, pre-emptively. If 'Taka hasn't heard from 'Tica
by the second or third round, though, he proceeds under the
assumption that Partner has a 4-3-3-3 moogal. :)
3) 'Taka veers away from 'Tica with opener's one-level rebids.
'Taka's experience with 2/1-GF has left him with a more jaundiced
view of bidding 4-card suits up the line. 'Tica has tried to
rescue him from the dark side, of course, but so far none of
'Tica's cheap Jedi mind tricks have done the trick. :(
One distinction that 'Taka didn't mention in this context is our
style after a *non-forcing* 1-level reply. In standard methods,
this would come whenever Responder is a passed hand. Without a
very sound 14+ count 'Tica will pass any 1-level response (e.g.
Pass:1D:1S:Pass). 'Taka, on the other hand, sometimes insists on
rebidding on hands that 'Tica might not open in the first place.
This comes dangerously close to violating Ward Rule #111: "One
psyche per hand!" :)
A few differences that Billy didn't mention:
4) Tempo: A 'Taka bids deliberately; a 'Tica quickly
Sometimes 'Taka comes over and sits in for a hand or two opposite
Moogal. This fooled Jan for a while but now she can tell *during
the auction of the very first hand* who is really partnering her.
5) Invites: A 'Tica's invites are psyche checks
'Taka adopts a very mainstream approach to invites. 'Tica adopts
a surprisingly CONSERVATIVE -- yes, I said CONSERVATIVE --
approach to invitations. 1H:2H will often be a respectable
10-count, and 'Tica sometimes passes Pard's opening bid with a
mediocre 6-count. 'Taka does not share 'Tica's extreme and
possibly irrational phobia of minuses in uncontested auctions.
6) 'Taka is a golden glove fielder,
'Tica has butterfingers
'Taka has learned from bitter experience to show his values ONCE
and then shut up. 'Tica, on the other hand, has been guilty of
more than a few "hearing aid" bids. If you spot 'Taka calling
'Tica "Hogie" he is referring to the Tumbleweeds comic character
"Hogarth Hemp", the hangman. The reference invariably comes
after 'Tica has punished 'Taka for daring to make a 'Tica style
overcall. The reference is not flattering. :)
7) 'Taka is a brilliant opening leader,
We sacrifice whenever 'Tica is on lead. :)
One of 'Tica's leads once cost our side ELEVEN tricks. When
Declarer asked: "What are your leads?" 'Taka retorted: "Fourth
best." "Fourth best?" asked Declarer for confirmation. "Yup,"
'Taka spat back disgustedly, "A Spade, Heart or Club would all
have been better but, oh, no, 'Tica had to lead a Diamond. Hence,
fourth best." :(
8) 'Tica proposes innovations, 'Taka refines them
The Canadian Club that these two play makes brain surgery look
like Parcheesi. Each blames the other for this state of
complexity. Given the number of eccentricities in their system,
they both might be right. :)
9) 'Taka bids IMPs, but plays Matchpoints, 'Tica bids MPs, but
plays IMPs.
Regardless of the form of game, 'Taka concentrates on his
strength: card play. He is very comfortable being in the same
contract as the field, winning by a small margin based largely on
overtricks. 'Tica, on the other hand, competes aggressively for
part scores at any form of the game and shows callous disregard
for where the field has come to rest. This reflects the fact
that while 'Taka is strongest either on defence or as Declarer;
'Tica's strength is as Dummy. :)
10) 'Taka plays his partner, 'Tica plays the opponents
'Taka is the ideal partner. 'Tica is the ideal opponent.:)
Now we hear from Moogal:
------------------------------------
I'm going to add my two cents in here too. I might be the best
one to pass judgment on this topic, as I play with them both. I
can tell a 'Tica from a 'Taka every time!
By the bidding styles? Well, sometimes, but that isn't the main
difference.
A 'Tica types perfectly, using capitalization and punctuation
(maybe the only one on OKB); A 'Taka isn't quite as bad as I am,
who has yet to type a capital letter or a comma in the chat bar,
but closer to me than to Colin. When I see "good luck janice,"
the only proper reply is "ty billy".
A 'Tica smiles with a curve :), a 'Taka is curly :}
A 'Tica bids quickly and confidently every single turn, a 'Taka
is a 'thoughtful bidder, translation s-l-o-w! Playing with 'Taka
taught me all I know about bidding after a pause, allowing me to
become personally acquainted with the TD's (and a new term UI).
I always thought I was a slow bidder... Billy has even me beat.
It's amazing that we ever finish a 26 board tourney together!
And it isn't because he has trouble with the bids (my excuse), he
is just doing 1000 things at once! I have threatened to come
over there (ok, it might be a tad far) and unplug his phone! So
when I have the urge to type "you there pd?" it's 'Taka night.
Should I be playing with a 'Taka when the opps open 2C, I can
plan on defending with the killing opening lead from pard. To a
'Tica, a bid of 2C by the opps is a transfer, to *his* bid!
Can you tell who my pard was on this hand? :)
IMPs west
Vul: E-W S Q32
H JT63
D K862
C 43
south north
Pard Moogal
S 7654 S J
H 82 H 754
D QT4 D J975
C JT82 C Q9765
east
S AKT98
H AKQ9
D A3
C AK
Pairs Board 22
Dlr: East
south west north east
Pard Opp Moogal Opp
2C
2S pass pass X
3C pass pass X
pass 3H pass 3NT
(all pass)
Opening Lead: CJ
Result: +7
Score: 720, IMPs: -11.41
Playing time: 3:54
No surprise our opps often say now, "no negative doubles against
this pair" on 'Tica days.
Waiting for my partner to arrive? A 'Tica doesn't own a
calendar; a 'Taka doesn't own a watch. Speaking of time, if it is
morning, 'tis a 'Taka.
And the most telling item: you all know that a 'Tica can't live
without his OKScript. What you may not know unless you have
specced us is that he has added a button with what I call the
Demon Macro: "We'll talk about this one later, Janice." At least
when 'Taka sits down, I don't have to reply "I am busy later" :)
======================================================
Well, when I started putting this together, I thought it would be
easy to go into the archives and pick a few columns and throw it
together and mail it out. HAH!! I got lost in all the old
issues -- so many memories, so much wonderful material! I know I
overdid it...and I only browsed through 2 years worth of
newsletters!
We'll do this again next month. Hope you've enjoyed this little
walk through the past... I know I've enjoyed going back and
remembering. Maybe I'll let Janice pick the material for next
time!
Hope you're having a wonderful summer.... see you at Fireside!
Sara & Janice
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
|
F
|
I
|
R
|
E
|
S
|
I
|
D
|
E
|
S
|
Ocbober, 2001
|
November, 2001
|
December, 2001
|
|
January, 2002
|
February, 2002
|
March, 2002
|
April, 2002
|
May, 2002
|
June, 2002
|
July, 2002
|
August, 2002
|
September, 2002
|
October, 2002
|
November, 2002
|
December, 2002
|
January, 2003
|
February, 2003
|
March, 2003
|
April, 2003
|
May, 2003
|
June, 2003
|
July, 2003
|
August, 2003
|
September, 2003
|
October, 2003
|
November, 2003
|
December, 2003
|
|
January, 2004
|
February, 2004
|
March, 2004
|
April, 2004
|
May, 2004
|
June, 2004
|
July, 2004
|
August, 2004
|
September, 2004
|
October, 2004
|
November, 2004
|
December, 2004
|
|
January, 2005
|
February, 2005
|
March, 2005
|
April, 2005
|
May, 2005
|
June, 2005
|
July, 2005
|
August, 2005
|
September, 2005
|
October, 2005
|
November, 2005
|
December, 2005
|
