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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT OCTOBER 2004
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Dealing With Dann
Bridge For the Club Player
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the October, 2004 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide
Chat" newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK/FIFEE
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@bellsouth.net,
or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication
and caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking
of taking private lessons, paying a professional to play
tourneys with you, getting involved in a group session
mentoring program... most, if not all, of our commentators
and contributors to this newsletter are available for those
services. Just think how much easier it is to learn
from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2004 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Hi all :)
The big news this month is that our friend Moogal is now
a Grandma :) Congratulations Jan! Enjoy that little one,
and be sure to spoil her rotten! For details, see Moo's
column!
Congratulations to our book winner this month -- J21!
He'll be receiving Zia Mahmood's "Defense". Thanks for
supporting FireSide, John! Hope you enjoy your new book :)
Next month we'll let you pick from a list of books that
we have -- we've accumulated some really good ones, and
it's too hard for us to choose what to send you.
To be included in this drawing, just get your check in the
mail to me or Colin, or visit www.firesides.net/support.htm
to use PayPal and/or your charge card.
Please keep in mind that these are NOT new books, but gently used
and loved books that folks have donated to us to find new homes
for. Some of them are no longer in circulation -- even rare. We
think this makes them more special, and hope you do too :)
As always, thanks to our great writers for some great
articles! Remember, they love hearing from you, so if you
like what you see, let them know!
Remember to play in this month's Novice/Mentor Tourney --
Thursday October 14, at 6:00 pm, OKb time. Hope to see
you there!
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pooka for this giggle:
Subject: The Dead Duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgery. As she lay her pet on the table the vet pulled
out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
said, "I'm so sorry. Cuddles has passed away".
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am
sure. The duck is dead", the vet replied. "How can you be
so sure?" she protested. "You haven't done any testing on
him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something".
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room,
and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador
retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement,
the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook
his head.
The vet patted the dog, then took it out, returning a few
moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on
the table and sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, " I'm sorry, but as
I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead
duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit
a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the
woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill and
gasped, "You're going to charge me $150 just to tell me
my duck is dead?" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd
taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But
with the lab report and the cat scan...........
===============================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
Do Our Hands Fit?
As I reflect on what helpful hints I can share with the
Fireside readership, I realize we have not given enough
emphasis to one very useful hint. It is not how many
points we have but rather how those points fit with partner.
The fit of whatever high card points we possess is crucial
to the success of our contracts.
Let's see how that works. We are dealt
S AJxxx
H void
D Axxx
C KJ10x
First we need to decide how good our hand is. It is a minimum
hand right now with no clear cut fit. Suppose I tell you
that partner has 10 high card points. Now, has that improved
the hand at all, or not yet? The answer is, I do not know!
Does partner have duplicated heart points with little fit for
my suits, or a good fit for one of my suits? Then, and only
then, can I upgrade and reveal all my power. Re-evaluation is
an ongoing theme in all auctions!
Let's have an auction then with this hand:
pass-pass-1S(me)-2H
3D (partner)-pass-to me!
Things are looking up! Partner has bid a suit by himself at
the three level. We have a reasonable expectation of 6
diamonds. Our hand has now jumped in value, for we can count
our void and the good diamond fit! This is not a minimum hand
any longer. We have many ways to continue to the cold slam but
the point is this: what began as a minimum hand has improved
based on our fit for partner and our controls. We not have to
fear much duplication of values in hearts anymore so we can
drive to slam via cue bids or splinter bids.
This theme will come up over and over again. Does partner have
his points in the places we need them? How can I find out?
Answering that very question is what good bidding is all
about!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
==============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Wheels for these:
MURPHY'S OTHER LAWS
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
6. I just got lost in thought - it was unfamiliar territory!
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all but can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically
challenged.
12. She's always late, in fact, her ancestors arrived on the
June flower.
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will
be misquoted and used against you.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without
sponges.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it
remains so popular?
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its
burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
20. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall
off.
21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of
getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll
get it wrong.
22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world
end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass
them.
23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of
the world population.
25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first.
27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man
to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
29. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in
rats.
32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody
listens.
33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the
hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of
jury duty.
===========================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are thrilled to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
From The 2004 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com.
********************
Vul: both North
Dlr: East S A9643
H AJ64
D KT
C Q2
South
S Q8
H Q98732
D AJ42
C T
West North East South
1C 1H
p 2C X 2D
P 4H all pass
Opening Lead: SJ
North's 2C cue bid showed a good hand, normally 10+ HCP with
three or more hearts. East doubled to show a genuine club
suit and South bid 2D to show the second suit and issue a mild
game invitation. North had no trouble accepting.
West leads the SJ, low from dummy and East wins with the SK.
Your SQ wins the S5 return, West playing the S2. How would
you plan the play?
********************
S A9643
H AJ64
D KT
C Q2
S J2 S KT75
H KT5 H --
D 9753 D Q86
C J876 C AK9543
S Q8
H Q98732
D AJ42
C T
Contract: 4H Lead: SJ
*******************
The lead is strange, given the bidding. Why did West not lead
a club after East had doubled 2C? The lead is consistent with
J2, JT2 and perhaps JT72 (although from the last holding, one
ought to lead fourth highest). The most likely is the
doubleton spade. West probably has length in clubs. Seeing
little potential there, West is seeking a spade ruff. How do
you deal with that?
The usual counter to a threatened ruff is to draw trumps as
quickly as possible. Here it would be a fatal error to play a
heart to the Ace and a heart back.
If you do, West captures the HQ, puts East in with a club and
overruffs you on the next spade. It would not help to play
HA, followed by the HJ. West wins, plays a club to East and
the next spade promotes the HT. A similar fate awaits you if
you win the SA at trick one and play HA and a second heart.
A heart to the ace at trick three is all right. Just do not
play a second heart. Switch to the SA to ditch the club
loser. You lose a spade and two hearts but make 4H.
After winning trick two, a heart to the jack is also safe. If
it loses to the king and a spade comes back, you can ruff high
with the HQ, draw the last trump and claim. When the HJ wins,
you cash the HA, discard the club loser on the SA and make an
overtrick.
TIP: An unusual lead is often based on a shortage. Take the
appropriate precaution.
********************
Hand and analysis by Ron Klinger, courtesy of the Daily
Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc., Brampton,
ON, Canada. Reprinted with permission. (Special thanks to
Lee Daugherty and Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
1. I don't do windows because .. I love birds and don't want
one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
2. I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will
slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and they may sue me.
3. I don't mind the dust bunnies because ... they are very
good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with
everything I say.
4. I don't disturb cobwebs because ... I want every creature
to have a home of their own and somebody loves spiders.
5. I don't Spring Clean because ... I love all the seasons and
don't want the others to get jealous.
6. I don't plant a garden because ... I don't want to get in
God's way, he is an excellent designer.
7. I don't put things away because ... might never be able to
find them again.
8. I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because... I
don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they
invite me over for dinner.
9. I don't iron because ... I choose to believe them when they
say "Permanent Press."
10. I don't stress much on anything because ... "A Type"
personalities die young and I want to stick around and become
a wrinkled up crusty ol' person!
============================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
=================
Bidding After 1-Whatever - Double - Redouble
OK now, this month let's look at a situation that arises on
occasion -- it's been a while since it's occurred at one of my
sessions, so we can all use the brush up.
Bidding in response to partner's Takeout Double, with an
intervening Redouble!
For example 1D - DOUBLE - REDOUBLE - ?
First, what do we show by bidding/passing? Now I have to
tell you right here up front, it depends what partner and I
have decided our approach is to this situation. There are
two schools of thought to delineate them -- my terms "OLD
school" and "NEW school" (read nothing into my titles, just
differentiates treatments by players in my region - both
treatments have pluses and minuses. It's more important to know
what pard plays than to try to have a specific treatment.)
OLD School
A bid in this situation shows extras; ie: if there was no
redouble we were going to make an invitational jump bid (some
8+ non-game bid) perhaps some possible hand like:
S AQ54 H Q103 D 9653 C J2
We would respond 1 Spade freely over Redouble, as opposed to
2 Spades in the absence of a Redouble, so with other non-
constructive responding hands we pass; this only tells pard
he's on his own. Holding:
S Q542 H J82 D J3 C 10975
We pass smartly after Redouble -- the Redouble has allowed
pard a chance to clarify his hand!
NEW School
One definition is added - we pass to show that we were passing
for penalties prior to the Redouble, and otherwise we treat the
situation as normal 1D - Double - Pass; ie: low level bids are
minimum, jump with invitational hands, preempt with any long suit
and weak hand, bid game if that's what we think we are making!
So in the two examples:
1. S AQ54 H Q103 D 9653 C J2
we bid 2S/Redouble
2. S Q542 H J82 D J3 C 10975
we bid 1S/Redouble
Now the added dimension of passing for penalties prevents the
opponents from being able to psyche a redouble against NEW
school -- a psyche can cause havoc. It is rare to run into
in competition but this is a possibility that is out there!
The "normal" minimum point count for an Opening; Double; Redouble
would be some 12 for opener,10 for a min double,and 9 for
redoubler
so a maximum amount of points for 4th chair is 9 (and that
requires
agressive bidders in the auction) so as soon as we hold 10 points
we
know something has run afowl of the 40 point limit to any deck
and are aware of someones psyche on the auction.
Let me draw an Example of where this came in useful(Pass for
penalties). You hold:
S A4 H J10987543 D 5 C 98
and much to our surprise and delight the auction proceeded
1H - Dbl - Redbl - to us - we have a bid for this! Pass, telling
pard to pass (unfortunatly 3 tricks into the defence the
Directors
came and moved your opps to a different table and told you to
redeal!)
Now we may want to weigh the merits of either approach before
deciding what we like, or what is going to be our approach.
We should consider the advantages of either approach to the
Takeout Doubler!
While we might say there is no big difference to the responder
of the Doubler (we might even like the idea we don't have to bid
with bad hands in response!), to the Doubler there is a huge
advantage to NEW School! If partner is bust - so be it, but at
least we don't have to guess which suit to bid holding, say:
S AKJ9 H Q1042 D 4 C K1042
We hear Redouble - P - P - after doubling 1D. Do we bid Hearts
to keep them in the picture? Do we bid Spades, our chunky suit,
hoping opps can't double our good suit? Needless to say, if
pard picks then we are off the hook; fans of OLD School just
said, "well we bid hearts and partner can correct to their suit
if they want." The problem here is that we allow the opps more
room and time to decide what to do! Punish us? Bid their own
game? Perhaps settle for a partscore? The less opportunity the
opps have to clarify their hands at possibly our large expense,
the better for us!
Now in closing, despite what you might think the writer's bias
is in favour of the OLD Vs NEW, (truthfully I prefer NEW if
it's my choice) what is most important is that we KNOW what
pard is playing, and if its OLD - no problem, play it! And it's
OK. Better to be on the same page than in different schools,
despite which style we prefer!
Hope this serves as a reminder to you all! Your test may be a
long time coming - make sure we check with our favorite partner
which "School" they are from!
Happy Bridging All!
Dann (POOKA) Kramer
********************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m.
OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: pspeard@telusplanet.net
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Bezel for sending us these:
FAMOUS BRIDGE QUOTES
It is not enough to win the tricks that belong to you. Try
also for some that belong to the opponents. Alfred Sheinwold
The real test of a bridge player isn't in keeping out of
trouble, but in escaping once he's in. Alfred Sheinwold
The trouble with women is that they treat bridge as a game.
They do not realize it is a war.
If you have the slightest touch of masochism you'll love this
game.
We believe that contract is particularly attractive to people
with a scrappy disposition. Frank Perkins
It's not the skill that drops off with age, it's the drive,
the killer instinct..and when a man isn't primed to kill he
makes mistakes.
Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps you
get there faster. Rueful Rabbit
Since the average person's small supply of politeness must
last him all his life, he can't afford to waste it on bridge
partners. Alfred Sheinwold
Bridge is essentially a social game, but unfortunately it
attracts a substantial number of antisocial people. Ian
Truscott
One advantage of bad bidding is that you get practice at
playing atrocious contracts. Alfred Sheinwold
Where's the hand you held during the auction?
A comment Jan Janitschke has made when dummy hits.
South: Alert!
East: Yes?
South: I'm requested to further misdescribe my hand.
It is not the handling of difficult hands that makes the
winning player. There aren't enough of them. It is the ability
to avoid messing up the easy ones. Alan Sontag
Most bridge players prefer consistency in their partners
rather than brilliance. Matthew Granovetter
The sum of all technical knowledge cannot make a master
contract player. Ely Culbertson
A knowledge of the mechanics will suffice to put a player in a
commanding position in the post-mortem. To become a member of
the upper crust calls for more, much more. Resilience,
imagination, occasional flashes of inspiration, these are the
hallmarks of quality. And this transcends the realm of
science. Victor Mollo
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has
its limits.
Card sense is when it's technically right to do something, the
little man that sits on my shoulder or anyone else's shoulder
says, "Don't do that." And you say to yourself, "Well, wait a
minute, that's the right way to play." And he says, "Yeah, but
you don't wanna play that way." That instinct is card sense.
It's almost an ability to feel where the cards are. It's
something that you can't buy, you can't find; you're born
with. The ability to do the right thing at the wrong time or
really to do the wrong thing at the right time. Barry Crane
I'm not sure whether glory or masterpoints is first on the
list, but I know learning to play better is definitely last.
Eddie Kantar
I'd like a review of the bidding with all the original
inflections.
The average defender operates in a fog of uncertainty. H. W.
Kelsey
Regardless of what sadistic impulses we may harbor, winning
bridge means helping partner avoid mistakes. Frank Stewart
A player who can't defend accurately should try to be
declarer. Alfred Sheinwold
The real secret of the expert is to make logic seem like
flair. Hugh Kelsey
If you play bridge with your wife as partner, you need at
least 20 points to open, and it wouldn't hurt to have 25. Joe
James
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough
to make them all yourself.
AND from my pickup partner at a recent tournament--when asked
what system he played, Dan said "Substandard."
============================================================
BRIDGE FOR THE CLUB PLAYER
==========================
"Third and Fifth"
By far the vast majority of top players are using a lead
system against suits called "third and fifth". What does
this mean and why do they do it?
Against a suit, good opening leaders use the following
information for selecting their leads:
1) They listen to the auction
2) They try to imagine how the play is going to proceed,
and how to either defeat the contract (or hold it the
minimum tricks at matchpoints)
3) They listen to the auction
4) They look at their hand
5) They listen to the auction
On many many many occasions, the opening lead suggested by
the auction is simply NOT the suit in which the opening
leader holds four cards. It is a three-card suit headed
by an honor. (I remember when I was a new player, that I
thought checking the box marked "fourth best" was a
commitment, and that the best lead was therefore ALWAYS my
fourth best. It scares me to think how many Kings and
Queens I underled into a suit bid on my right!) The
problem, of course, is that good players also count. So
how do you tell if a low card is low-from-three or low-
from-four? For many players, playing "third and fifth" is
the solution, or at least a major step in the right
direction. How does it work?
With an ODD number of cards in the suit, lead your lowest
card. With an EVEN number of cards in the suit, lead your
third highest card.
In theory, your partner will fairly quickly be able to
identify a card as a "low" one, although there is an
emotional adjustment period as spot cards like 7's and 8's
become "low". Another emotional adjustment is having to
abandon that good old "rule of eleven". Some people
desperately look for a replacement rule (the rule of
twelve?), but it is actually much easier and less
ambiguous to simply place the missing cards.
For example, your partner leads the 7, dummy has QT82, and
dummy plays low. You have the AJ5. What does partner
have? He/she either has the K97 (and maybe a small one)
OR is leading top of nothing (a doubleton?). Either way,
the proper play is simple, with just a little thought.
LOW! Work it out. Then, if (when) the seven wins, and
partner then leads the 3, you also now have a complete
count of the suit.
This is important: "Third and fifth", which actually means
"third best from even, lowest from odd", only truly works
against SUIT contracts. And a big reason is because you
can assume 1) partner did not underlead the Ace, and 2)
partner would lead the top of two touching honors.
Here are some examples... declarer plays low in all cases:
1) Dummy: KT4; You: J85: Lead = 7
2) Dummy: Q32: You: K954: Lead = 8
3) Dummy: J52: You: AT96: Lead = 3
4) Dummy: J52: You: AT96: Lead = 8
Answers:
1) Partner would not underlead the Ace, so declarer has it.
If partner has the Queen, they must have led from Q97.
Play low to force the Ace! If you play the Jack,
declarer can finesse partner's Queen on the next round.
If the 7 was "top of nothing", your play does not matter.
2) Once again, declarer has the Ace. Partner does NOT have
JT8, the only possibility, because they would lead the
Jack from this combination. Declarer has AJT at least.
Do not make it easy for him by playing the King.
3) Partner would lead the King from KQx(xx), therefore
declarer has at least one of those honors. So they have
a trick coming. But don't let them steal a trick with
the singleton king or queen -- remember, partner could
have FIVE. Getting too scientific and playing the nine
could really make you look foolish this time... grin.
(IF partner has three, then declarer has Kxx or Qxx,
and an eventual trick. Declarer could NOT have Qx, as
that would give partner a four card suit, and they just
led low. See how helpful this is?)
4) There is no way the eight is third best (with KQ8,
partner would lead the king), so this is likely a doubleton.
Unless you expect a singleton from the bidding, DUCK your
Ace to maintain communication and plan on giving partner
his ruff later. Declarer has the King and Queen, so this
will (almost) never cost a trick.
Just like anything "new", when you first try it, there
will be an adjustment period. It won't feel right. But
consider: there is a REASON so many convention cards are
marked "third and fifth", and why so many of them belong
to the better players. Placing honors. counting hands,
counting points, making the right play at trick one, etc.,
etc. Once you switch (and get used to it), you will
wonder why you weren't taught "third and fifth" to begin
with!
Happy defending!
Jack Brawner
********************
Jack welcomes students of all levels for lessons.
Contact him for information at trojanowl@aol.com
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Catnap for this one:
THE DILLARD'S THIEF-- in San Antonio, Texas
This is too funny! This could only be true, you can't make
this stuff up.
Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay
woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot.
Obviously a recent hit---no flies, no smell.
"What business could that poor kitty have had here?" murmured
Ellen. "Come on, Ellen, let's just go..." But Ellen had
already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining,"I'll just
put my things in your bag, and then I'll take the tissue." She
dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue
paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own
Dillard's bag and cover it.
They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing
their goods in the trunk But it occurred to both of them that
if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the
Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose
that new-car smell. They decided to leave the bag on top of
the trunk, and they headed over to Luby's Cafeteria.
After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a window
table, they had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag
still on the trunk. BUT not for long. As they ate, they
noticed a black-haired woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by
their car, look quickly this way and that, and then hook the
Dillard's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out
of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-
eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast that neither
of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?" finally
sputtered Ellen. "The nerve of that woman!" Kay sympathized
with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought
about the grand surprise awaiting the red-gingham thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin,
she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the
serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized with a shock
the black-haired woman with the Dillard's bag, THE Dillard's
bag, hanging from her arm, brazenly pushing her tray toward
the cashier.
Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After clearing the
register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put
the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites
of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the
bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to
side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three
tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into
the bag. Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of
gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as
she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest.
The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in
trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she
administered the Heimlich maneuver. A crowd quickly gathered
that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to
their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance
arrived. In a matter of minutes the curly-haired woman emerged
from the crowd, still gasping, strapped securely on a gurney.
Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting
ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings.
The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she
disappeared behind the ambulance doors, the Dillard's bag
perched on her stomach.
===============================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Wed Sep 1 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 Kaltica/moogal 69.78
Sat Sep 4 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 Kaltica/ulrika 66.15
Wed Sep 8 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score
1 bait/wheels 59.45
Wed Sep 8 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 bait/wheels 68.50
Mon Sep 13 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score
1 believer/bezel 2.72
Tue Sep 21 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 kaysha/logwg 71.02
Tue Sep 21 08:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 dianew/zampino 3.31
Sun Sep 26 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score
1 dloye/jfokch 3.49
Mon Sep 27 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score
1 nantica/pamela 3.98
I apologize for not having a list of our B/C players who
placed..... but we encourage you to change your flight to B or
C so that you are competing on an appropriate level -- you can
do this on the OKB website home page. Look for "Change my
flight" in the box where your icon appears. This is OKB's way
of letting everyone have a chance to get some pond points.
And, as more and more of you change your flights, the flighted
results will be more realistic. And, remember, if you do place
in the overalls, you are still eligible for the higher awards!
I know I must have missed a few of your names here. I can't
check every result -- believe it or not I do have a day job :)
Please email me and let me know about your good results.
We want everyone's name up here in lights!
**********************************************************
FIRESIDE'S MENTOR CUP GAME
Our September winners are:
09-19-2004 Team JanetE JanetE, Jimm, Hawes and JerryB 79 VPS
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and
lists of all our top placing stars. To get on the email
reminder list for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com
- all welcome!
**********************************************************
Some of you may have heard that Matt Clegg's wife Merja and
their children were living in Grenada, where Merja is a
medical student, when Hurricane Frances hit. We were grateful
to learn that they are safe and were evacuated, first to
Barbados, and then on to San Diego and that they did not
suffer any harm, even though their house and belongings were
lost.
--------------------------
Matt writes:
The news coming from Grenada is not good. From what I hear, it
is estimated that 90% of the buildings on the island suffered
damage from the hurricane, and 60,000 of Grenada's population
of 90,000 were left homeless. There are widespread shortages
of food and water, and electricity has only been restored to
only a few places on the island. It is going to take them many
years to recover from this tragic event.
In case you are interested, here are a few links to further
information about what can be done to help:
https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation-form.asp
http://www.ifrc.org/address/gd.asp
http://www.grenadaemergency.com/
http://www.sgu.edu/nhome.nsf/webcontent/
4D1B797DCD199F4185256F1000737ED4?OpenDocument
http://hurricane.info.usaid.gov/
I wonder if there is anything that we could do as a community to
help the people of Grenada?
Best,
Matt.
-----------------
So, dear OKB friends, you are the smartest people we
know....got any ideas how we can raise some money on OKB (a
tourney auction, etc.) in support of all the countries impacted
by the recent hurricanes? What sounds like fun to you? Let me
or Sara know and we'll pass your ideas on to Matt. It would
be nice to be able to do something to help alleviate some of
the suffering out there.
**********************************************************
Recently Jane (NEOPHYTE) gave us all a scare when she abruptly
left OKB, saying her son had been in an accident. Here's her
note to all of us:
----------------
A few weeks ago I had to leave a team game because I got a
phone call to say my 14 year old son had been involved in an
accident and taken to hospital. He had been knocked down by a
car.
Now he might have forgotten all the road sense he was taught,
but he didn't forget his manners! In a truly dazed state, he
apologized to the driver of the car for smashing her
windscreen!
He was taken to the hospital and later discharged. Thankfully,
apart from being battered and bruised, very shaken and
embarrassed, he is OK.
Now I know some of you have asked Jan and some have asked Sara
about James. I have had cards, emails and phone calls galore!
I would just like to say a BIG THANK YOU to each and everyone
of you.
I am so proud to be a Firesider! What a lovely family you are.
With much love Jane......(Neo)
-----------------
We're all so thankful that he was not badly injured, Jane.
Please give him a big hug from all of us.
**********************************************************
Horrors of the Wax Museum by Richard Pavlicek
Stop! Whatever you do, don't touch the figures! You'll
just have to trust me they're all wax. Find out for sure
in this defensive play contest. As West, all you have to
do is choose your next lead from the choices offered.
Try it! You'll like it.
http://www.rpbridge.net/8x01.htm
Results of the September bidding poll "The Verdict in 48
Hours" (ending Sept. 30) will be posted October 4, 2004 at
21:00 GMT. For these, and everything else related to the
monthly polls and contests, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
A P.S. from Richard, who lives in Fort Lauderdale:
We managed to skirt the brunt of the storms, but the
effects were frustrating. For almost a week we had no
power and phones, so imagine going that long without
internet. Cruel and unusual punishment! I think I
could go without food longer. :)
**********************************************************
It's been an eventful month here! Charley, Frances, Ivan,
Jeanne. Four hurricanes later we are weary but very lucky in
Miami to have missed any major damage -- our prayers are with
our neighbors around the state and in the Caribbean who didn't
fare as well. People who lost their roofs during Frances, lost
what they had left during Jeanne. I've had my mother and
various children living with me as their homes were without
power or they were evacuated. It's been strange living in
darkness for a month as we haven't taken down our hurricane
shutters since putting them up well over a month ago.
And the biggest disappointment for me -- Eric (ETSAND) was
coming to South Florida for a medical conference that
coincided with the Boca Raton Regional -- how lucky was
*that*, we thought! But it also coincided with Hurricane
Frances....the entire regional was cancelled, as was his trip.
But barring a fifth hurricane, his conference was rescheduled
for October, and although we have to settle for a club game
rather than a regional, I am really looking forward to it!
But having lived through Andrew 12 years ago, we are well
aware how fortunate we've been this year -- I hope you read
Matt's note, above.
But the BIG news: Our precious granddaughter arrived
September 23, on her Daddy's birthday and in-between
hurricanes! Jordie Farah is a beauty with a head-full of
black hair just like her Mommy and a good set of lungs:) My
daughter Jenny, who lives in north Palm Beach County (where
conditions were much much worse) was still in the hospital
when Hurricane Jeanne made landfall -- the hospital lost power
and although vital equipment still was operational through
their generators there was no air conditioning. As their
house also lost power (just as it did after Frances) they left
the hospital a few days later and came to me! How lucky we
were to have our first grandchild in the house for two days
until their power was restored. We're on cloud nine and I'm
thrilled to finally be a GrandMoo.:)
You can see a birth-day picture of Jordie on my stats....Her
grandfather loves this picture -- he says she looks ready to
accompany him to her first Penn State football game in the
frozen north.:)
A big thank you to Fireside for the gift I received -- "How to
be the perfect Grandma -- Rules of the Game." A sample
chapter: "Promise anything but get the kid!" :)
And a special thank you to the Fireside friend (who wishes to
remain anonymous) for the gift to the Fireside Fund in honor of
my little Jordie. I was really touched.
I'll close with a giggle I received from WARREN. Poor Warren
retired and moved from up north to Boca this summer -- 4
hurricanes were his not-so-friendly welcome to the Sunshine
State....but I am glad he seems to have not lost his sense of
humor! (And trust me, all this is *true*)
Hugs to all....Janice
-------------
Subject: HURRICANE PREPAREDNESS
To: Ex-Floridians, Present Floridians, and Future Floridians.
We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. For
those of you who don't know, hurricane season in Florida is a
multi-month event, lasting from June 1 to Dec 1. Any day now,
you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person
pointing to some radar blob out in the ocean and making two
basic meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If
you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you
need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit
by "the big one.''
Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this
simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family
for at least three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive NORTH and remain there until Halloween.
Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not
follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay in
Florida.
We'll start with one of the most important hurricane
preparedness items: HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home,
you must have hurricane insurance.
Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long
as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Alaska.
Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any
other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most
insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane
insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU
money, and that is certainly not why they got into the
insurance business in the first place.
So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company,
which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the
replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company
can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane Camille,
I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.
This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance
Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my
premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my
kidneys.
SHUTTERS:
Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows,
all the doors, and if it's a major hurricane on all the
toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages
and disadvantages:
Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them
yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you
make them yourself, they will fall off.
Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well,
once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you
get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps,
and it will be December.
Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy
to use, and will definitely protect your house. The
disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay
for them.
"Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in
hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but
they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this,
because the salesman says so. He lives in Alaska.
"Hurricane Proofing Your Property": As the hurricane
approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue
grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.;
you should, as a precaution, throw these items into your
swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should
have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds
will turn these objects into deadly missiles.
EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should
have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether
you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license;
if it says "Florida" you live in a low-lying area.) The
purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being
trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you
will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from
your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So,
as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a
mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition
requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go
to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers
over who gets the last can of SPAM.
In addition to food and water, you will need the following
supplies:
Flashlights. And at least $167 worth of batteries that turn
out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the
flashlights you bought.
Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows
what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some!)
A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be
useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators.
(Ask anybody who went through Hurricane Camille; after the
hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane
passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible
teeth.
Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane
draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of
the situation by turning on your television and watching TV
reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and
tell you over and over how vitally important it is for
everybody to stay away from the ocean.
Good luck and remember: it's great living in paradise!
(Now that we have survived Hurricanes Charley, Frances, Ivan
and Jeanne)
*************************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who
write for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other
commentators and newsletter contributors also give lessons
in most shapes and sizes....mentoring games, tourney play,
partnership coaching, just about whatever type of lesson
you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Patricia/Fifee andersonscorner@atlanticbb.net
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might
think, especially mentoring games. We think our
commentators give you your money's worth when you
choose private lessons, and they really value your
business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one what
you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
**************************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program?
An event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of
us? A question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for
us to visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to
miss anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside,
it's easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet,
here are some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has
developed to enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm
(Note that IGITSAP must be in CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
October Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, October 14, at 6:00 PM, OKb time. A low-key
introduction to the tourney experience, sponsored
by Fifth Chair...see www.fifthchair.org for more info
on this and their other services, including getting a
mentor.
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sundays, 5:00 P.M. October 3, 17, and 31.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at firesider@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically
in your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions.
After clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section.
Write an email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer
your questions.
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for these:
Daffynitions
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is
now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women go to curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and
after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will
do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character
lines.
========================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
The Twilight Zone
We had a sectional recently in Winnipeg that was quite
remarkable for the number of interesting hands where the
bidding veered off into the unknown or where there were
several choices available, any of which could be right (or
wrong). Pretty well all of them appear to essentially be
flip-of-the-coin decisions. However, there are barely
discernible clues available to help us sift through the cloud
of mystery on at least some of the problems that soon will
be facing us.
The first hand arose in a club matchpoints game, where you
hold as opener:
S-Kx H-AJx D-Axx C-J10xxx
The auction proceeds, with you as West:
West North South East
1C dbl rdbl pass
pass 1D 1H pass
2H pass 2S pass
3D dbl 4C pass
?
You have fairly decent trump support here and the potentially
vital K of spades opposite a partner that is clearly making a
slam try. So how should opener proceed now? We shouldn't be
too concerned about having a minimum hand, as that was shown
with the 2H raise.
My partner was Bob Todd and he came to the right decision
because he interpreted my bidding correctly. He was
frustrated that I had not passed the double of 3D, since
opener was in passout seat. If I had passed, he could now
cuebid 3S or redouble 3D if he had second round control. But
that is exactly the point. Instead of doing that, I made a
space-consuming 4C bid. So what am I REALLY focusing on?
Since responder has not given opener a chance to show a value
at the three-level, what is the main focus of his bidding?
The logical conclusion is that he is looking for your values
to be concentrated in the rounded suits, hearts and clubs.
I had:
S-AQxx H-KQ10xx D-xx C-AQ
And if you switch the location of partner's K of spades to:
S-xx H-AJx D-Axx C-KJ10xx
6H (or 6C) is now a very good contract. The fact that
responder has deliberately cuebid in such a way as to preclude
you from conveniently showing a value at a lower level is the
clue the helps us gauge what partner is really looking for, if
we are on our toes.
Here's another tester from last weekend's sectional, both vul
in the East chair:
S-x H-Axx D-AJxxx C-KQ10x
North East South West
1S 2D 3S* 4C*
pass 4S pass 4NT
pass ?
South's 3S was a pre-emptive raise. Partner's 4C is forcing
and could be one-suited or a diamond raise wanting a club
lead. At any rate, you cuebid 4S as the hand looks pretty
nice, and advancer now bids 4NT. This is pretty much
undiscussed, but your gut feeling is that partner does not
intend it as keycard. For one thing, if it is an asking bid,
which suit is trumps, diamonds or clubs? For the record, it
should be clubs since your cuebid has presumably agreed clubs
as trumps for the time being.
After some thought, I decided to take 4NT as a mildly
encouraging bid, stronger than either 5C or 5D, those being
signoff attempts. Given that, partner should have enough to
give a minor suit slam fair play, so I bid 6C. Advancer's
hand was:
S-void H-K10x D-Q10x C-AJxxxxxx
Our slam was going to make (seven, in fact, with the diamond
King onside), but the opponents sacrificed in 6S. We doubled
and beat it five tricks for +1400, but as it turned out only a
third of the pairs bid slam so they were getting a poor score
anyway.
Now comes a hand from the Swiss teams, also from last
weekend's play: Neither side is vulnerable, you sitting
East:
S-AKQJ109x H-A D-AK10x C-x
Your right-hand opponent begins with 1C. Well, well. So much
for your plans to begin with a game forcing 2C opening.
Certainly, we'd like to try for slam because as little as the
Queen of diamonds in partner's hand will give us a play. At
our table, RHO just closed his eyes and bid 6S. Meanwhile, in
the replay, the auction went:
North East South West
1C dbl 3C* pass
pass 4S pass pass
pass
East showed an extremely good hand by doubling and then
jumping to game in his suit, but partner had: xxxx xx
Jxxxx xx and considered his hand too weak to move. As a
matter of fact, I think passing is not so automatic as it
would seem. Partner is willing to play in game, and we have a
bad hand, true, but with some redeeming features. The fourth
trump is good, along with a ruffing value and a side five-card
suit that may provide a double fit. When the doubler jumps to
4S, his suit is going to be trump, so any bid by advancer
would show a useful value, such as an ace or king. Here, West
doesn't have any such card, but I would still raise to 5S to
suggest that advancer is not totally broke although unable to
make an overtly encouraging noise. At this point, doubler
would shrug and move on to 6S, which is not cold but certainly
playable, and makes in practice.
Now for a hand from the final match in the knockout teams,
perched in the South chair this time with:
S-AK10xx H-xxx D-Axx C-xx
North East South West
1D pass 1S pass
1NT pass ?
You have 2D available as new minor forcing as responder, and
partner will bid 2S, showing 12-13 with three spades and
denying four hearts. Should responder now bid game or just
invite? At the other table, South invited with 3S and opener
declined with:
S-Qxx H-QJx D-KQ9x C-QJx
The decision was justified in a sense as declarer could only
muster nine tricks in a spade contract, for +140. At our
table, I chose to completely ignore a possible 5-3 fit and
jumped directly to 3NT. My line of thinking was that even if
we had an eight-card fit, 4S could easily go down with 3NT
making. In his book on matchpoints, Kit Woolsey addresses the
situation of whether two balanced hands with a 5-3 major suit
fit should play in the suit contract or notrump. His
experience was that if the partnership was on minimum game
values and the hand with the five-card suit had fast values,
aces and kings, notrump figured to be the superior contract.
And so it turned out to be here, as whatever rounded suit the
defenders led turned out to be declarer's ninth trick. If
partner lacked three-card support but had a five-card diamond
suit, my Axx might enable him to develop the necessary winners
in diamonds.
I've actually sent this hand and the following one to a friend
who is going to put it through his hand generator and see what
bidding action turns out best. And now for our quiz of the
month, with you again occupying the South position, vul
against not in teams:
S-J10xx H-AQJ10x D-xx C-xx
West North East South
3D pass pass ?
A glance at the opponents' card reveals they play extremely
light pre-empts. Either partner and/or RHO could have opening
hands or better in this instance. So do we dip our feet into
the water with a balancing double or 3H, or employ the Colin
"Kaltica" Ward maxim that pre-empts work, and go quietly with
a pass? Email your votes to: btreble@shaw.ca.
See you next month.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca)
for more information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Gail37 for this giggle:
We Must Stop This immediately!
Have you ever noticed that when you're of a certain age,
everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are
steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther
away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded
to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the
young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask
them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves,
endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red
in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age.
On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I
am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so
much that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my
hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own
refection........Well, REALLY ! NOW- even mirrors are not made
the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You're risking
life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in
front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out
awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear
view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else
would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18
or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no
longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same
prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the
number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh
that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's
going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy
too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that
no one could ever find a number in here!
All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under
attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon
"everyone" will have to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because
something has caused fonts to be smaller than they once were
too!
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Intro to Endplays
*****************
When we discuss the most fundamental rule of cardplay
(i.e. "play small towards big") we invariably begin with:
Dummy: H- AQ
Declarer: H- 32
If we play small towards dummy, beating whatever our
LHO contributes, we stand a 50% chance of success. If we
lead from the H-AQ, though, we will rarely take a trick.
The H-AQ is what we call a "tenace" position: two cards
that we want RHO to lead INTO. This doesn't necessarily
include a cashable winner; H-KJ with H-AQ outstanding
qualifies as a tenace. An extension of our rudimentary
law of "play small towards big", then, is that we don't
do the opposite (i.e. play big towards small). In this
case, this means that we NEVER PLAY FROM A TENACE POSITION.
In learning about endplays, once we understand this
very simple tenet ("Never play from a tenace position!")
half the battle is won. The second half is to get the
desired OPPONENT to lead that suit for us. We start by
realizing that the opponent in question will only do so
if forced. Coercing the adversary to lead this suit for
us will involve exhausting that opponent of all "safe"
exit cards.
Note that we don't necessarily have to exhaust the
opponent of ALL their exit cards outside of the tenace
suit--just all of their SAFE exit cards outside that
suit. To wit:
Dummy
S-10 H-AQ
RHO
Declarer H-KJ D-A
S-4 H-32
In 4S, if RHO is on lead at this point s/he faces
an ugly choice: lead a Heart into Dummy's H-AQ or
give us a ruff and sluff with the D-Ace. Either way,
we make the rest of the tricks. RHO is "endplayed".
Note that the only suit in which all three of you have
cards is Hearts--the tenace suit. More on this later.
Our task now is to find out how to throw that
opponent in AFTER we have determined that they have
no exit cards? Sometimes we can't. On other occasions
we aren't sure WHICH opponent we are throwing in. Even
so, we are often no worse off. To illustrate:
Dummy
S- 10 H- AQ D-x
Declarer
S- 4 H-32 D-K
In 4S, with nothing but red cards left in the
opponents' hands, we exit the Diamond King, hoping
RHO has the D-Ace. Darn! LHO wins and shoots through
a Heart. But, given that our only alternative was
to take this finesse ourselves, we are no worse off
for having attempted the endplay.
Virtually every endplay is, in fact, a "strip
and endplay".
Dummy
S- AKxx
H- AQxx
D- xxx
C- Qx
Declarer
S- Qxxx
H- xx
D- AKQ
C- AKJx
At Matchpoints, in 6NT, you win the Diamond lead and
play off 3 rounds of Spades, only to find that RHO started
with S-J1098. Cash all of your minor suit winners and
exit a Spade. Hope RHO has no more than 3 Diamonds or
4 Clubs. In 6S we'd play the same way, careful to cash
the Diamonds before the fourth Club, so that RHO cannot
ruff the 4th Club and exit a Diamond.
Any hints in the bidding can certainly help our
cause: it allows us to place the High Cards better
and gives us a better idea as to the distribution.
Dummy
S- Qxxx
H- AQx
D- xx
C- AQ98
Declarer
S- AKxxx
H- 109x
D- A10x
C- 10x
RHO opens 1D and your side climbs up to 4S. From
the opening bid it's likely that the Club and Heart
finesses are not going to work. No problem. You
endplay RHO in Hearts eventually and lose a trick in
each non-trump suit, right? Well...
LHO leads the D-2. RHO inserts the Queen. You
duck this to keep RHO on lead for now. RHO returns
a Diamond. You win your D-Ace and ruff one in dummy.
When you play to your S-King, though, RHO shows out!
Gulp! You play to the Club eight. RHO wins this and
is endplayed. In this case, the term is a slight
misnomer, coming so early in the play.
If RHO returns a Diamond you pitch a Heart as
you ruff on dummy. Having tossed one Heart loser on
the ruff-and-sluff, you can jettison the other on a
Club after C-Ace and a ruffing finesse in that suit.
Here is the complete hand:
Dummy
S- Qxxx
H- AQx
D- xx
LHO C- AQ98 RHO
S- J1098 S- void
H- xxx Declarer H- KJxx
D- J92 S- AKxxx D- KQxxx
C- xxx H- 109x C- KJxx
D- A10x
C- 10x
Notice this aspect of the endplay: outside of
the tenace suit(s) (i.e. Hearts & Clubs here) either
RHO (i.e. the one being endplayed) or BOTH you and
your partner are void in all of the other suits.
In this case, RHO was void in the Spades, N-S in
Diamonds. Again, the ONLY suits in which all three
hands have common cards are the tenace suits.
RHO could have defeated 4S by returning a second
Club from hir remaining C-Kxx into the teeth of
dummy's C-AQ9. But how many opponents will find this
defence?
Watch for these opportunities whenever you have
a tenace position in one suit and are able to strip
a lot of other cards out of the opponents' hands.
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net)
for more information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this:
COME-BACK" OF THE WEEK
A college student challenged a senior citizen saying it was
impossible for their generation to understand his. "You grew
up in a different world," the student said. "Today we have
television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy,
computers . . . "
Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the
senior said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when
we were young. So we invented them!"
=============================================================
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