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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT JULY 2004
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Question and Answer
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Bridge For the Club Player
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the July, 2004 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide
Chat" newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK/FIFEE
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@bellsouth.net,
or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication
and caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking
of taking private lessons, paying a professional to play
tourneys with you, getting involved in a group session
mentoring program... most, if not all, of our commentators
and contributors to this newsletter are available for those
services. Just think how much easier it is to learn
from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2004 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Hi :-) I have a few things to discuss this month. First, I'd
like to announce the winner of our monthly book drawing! Our
book this month is "Card Play Techniques" by Mollo and
Gardener. And our lucky winner is....RANEEM!
Congratulations, Raneem!
Next month our book will be "How to Play a Bridge Hand",
by William S. Root.
Get your checks in so you can have a chance to win, too!
We are very pleased to have a new contributor to our
newsletter. Be sure to catch our new column, "Bridge
For the Club Player", by Jack Brawner (Nightowl on OKb).
We think you will enjoy his articles very much!
I also want to take a minute to talk about OKb's monthly
Novice/Mentor tourneys. Tuna and Fifth Chair work together to
provide us with this chance to play in a friendly, no pressure
atmosphere and give the beginner/novice to intermediate
players a chance to experience what the OKb tourneys are like.
They are especially nice for those who have never tried
playing in the tourneys before, since the Fifth Chair folks
will try to pair up inexperienced players with a more
experienced partner to guide them along and help make the
experience a fun one.
So, any of you who haven't had a chance to try out the
tourneys at Okb yet, come join us on the second Thursday of
the month (July 10 this month) and give it a try! And any of
you more experienced players out there who would enjoy the
mentoring role and having a chance to introduce someone to the
tourney experience, we need you too! Just look for TournNov on
the second Thursday of each month, at 6:00 PM, and join us for
a fun-filled 12 hands of bridge!
July brings the NABC's to New York City, and many of our
commentators and participants will be away enjoying this
event. Since several of our commentators will be gone, we will
be holding fewer FireSide sessions during that week.
Our revised schedule is:
July 1-7, regular schedule
July 8 Thurs 11:00 AM Pooka
5:30 PM no session (Nov/Ment tourney)
July 9 Fri 11:00 AM no session
5:30 PM Kaltica
July 12 Mon 11:00 AM Pooka
5:30 PM No session
July 13 Tue 11:00 AM no session
8:30 PM Wintaka
July 14 Wed 11:00 AM FredW3
5:30 PM no session
July 15 Thur 11:00 AM Pooka
5:30 PM Fifee
July 16 Fri 11:00 AM no session
5:30 PM Kaltica
Back to regular schedule for rest of month.
Finally, we still have a need for a few more table managers to
help out with the FireSide sessions. If you can spare 90
minutes or so, one day a week, especially in the 11AM time
slot, please contact Believer or Moogal and let us know.
That's about it for this month! Hope you're all enjoying your
summer! And I hope to see many of you at the next
Novice/Mentor Tourney!
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Not a giggle, but neat stuff:
A LIST TO KEEP
The most destructive habit..................Worry
The greatest Joy...........................Giving
The greatest loss............Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work...........Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.........Selfishness
The most endangered species.....Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource...........Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"......Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.............Fear
The most effective sleeping pill....Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease........Excuses
The most powerful force in life..............Love
The most dangerous pariah..............A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer....The brain
The worst thing to be without............... Hope
The deadliest weapon...................The tongue
The two most power-filled words..........."I Can"
The greatest asset..........................Faith
The most worthless emotion..............Self-pity
The most beautiful attire..................SMILE!
The most prized possession..............Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication..Prayer
The most contagious spirit.............Enthusiasm
===============================================================
QUESTION AND ANSWER
===================
This month we asked some of our contributors to discuss
Inverted Minors. Here are their responses:
----------------
From Wintaka:
My thoughts on inverted minors:
All things considered, I think they are worth playing. If the
hand belongs to the opponents, the 6-10 point raise isn't
going to dissuade them from competing and the only time you'll
really be able to punish them is if opener has opened a minor
with 4-4 in the majors. Most partnerships that use 6-10
point single raises in the minors use the jump raise as limit,
11-12. Consequently, with 13+ and five-card support they
often have to manufacture a forcing response on a non-suit and
then hope to support opener in a forcing manner later. The
difficulty is, of course, that in following this course of
action you are risking giving opener a distorted picture of
your hand. Playing inverted minors allows responder to make
the single raise with either a limited or game forcing hand
and raise pre-emptively to the three-level with five-card
support and a bad hand. The only area that is not fully
resolved by the inverted raisers is HOW pre-emptive is the
jump raise? Is an absolute piece of junk with 3-6 points,
or is it a moderate raise of 5-9 points? Even if it IS the
latter, what does opener do with 18-19 balanced? The benefit
of inverted minors comes with 11-12 or 13+ hands, the
drawbacks come when the pre-emptive jump raise is made. Some
practitioners of inverted minors use the jump raise to show a
hand so weak that it can't make 3NT even opposite 18-19
balanced, ergo about 3-6 points. Therefore, with a 7-9 point
hand, you are forced into a 1NT response, which could easily
wrongside the notrump game.
My thoughts on minor suit raises are:
1) Inverted minors are alright, and are my first choice.
2) If I did play 1D-2D as 6 to a bad 10, I'd also play 1D-3D
as game forcing. With 10+ to 12 and support, I'd respond 2NT
if balanced, and a suit at the one-level if unbalanced.
3) 1D-2D as 6 to a bad 10 and 1D-3D as a limit raise is not
really workable in my opinion and is a distant third choice.
Bottom line is that in an SAYC environment, I'd play limit
raises in the majors, forcing raises in the minors. However,
I've played inverted minor raises for at least a dozen years
and while there are a few awkward situations, they are easily
outweighed by the benefits.
Bill
-----------------
From Bridgboy:
Inverted Minors is a very good treatment, because it is
necessary to have some method to force when you have the minor
suits.
If we play 1D -P - 3D as preemptive, that leaves all good
hands with 10+ points and no four card major with an awkward
bid.
The sequence of 1D - p - 2D is a perfect solution. It is
forcing for one round and used for all hands that have 10+
points and support for partners minor suit, and denies a 4
card major. You are now trying to bid to 3NT as a partnership,
so showing stoppers is the next step. A rebid of 3D is the
weakest bid available over the inverted raise.
--------------
A special thanks to all of our writers who responded!
========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for these:
The following are supposedly actual excerpts from classified
sections of city newspapers:
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,
you'll never go anywhere again.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard,
meals, and smacks included.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to
travel.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale
3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience
preferred.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom
for efficient beating.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion.
Blue Cross and salary.
Dinner Special-Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children
$2.00
For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and
large drawers.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra
pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it
carefully by hand.
For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Great Dames for sale.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful
condition.
=================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
Crime and Punishment
In real life, does the punishment ever fit the crime?? In
bridge, after seeing this hand, I am not so sure! You decide.
Playing in a regional open pairs I pick up this wild hand:
S QJ543
H QJ87653
D VOID
C 8
Not fancying my chances of describing this hand with a
preempt, I start with a pass and hear
1C(LHO) - 1D from partner - 1NT(RHO)- to me.
I decide to try 2H and it goes p-p-p.
I get an opening lead of the H9 and see this on the table:
S 106
H 4
D AQJ92
C K10972
opposite my
S QJ543
H QJ87653
D VOID
C 8
Without feeling very good about my chances I win the H9 with
the jack and attack the side suit -- I lead a low spade to the
dummy and the 10 wins the trick! Not sure what just
happened, I cash the DA and throw my club loser away.
Continuing with the second spade, it goes low, jack, king.
LHO now leads another spade, RHO throws a loser and I win the
queen. This hand is playing stranger and stranger! I keep
leading more winning spades and no one takes the ace of
spades - it is as if there is no ace of spades in the hand!
I end up losing 3 trump tricks to the ace, king, and 10 but
make 9 winners for a score of plus 140.
After the hand I ask RHO to let me look at his hand, and I
discover he only has 12 cards! I call the director and
explain that he played the hand with only 12 cards, so he did
revoke on the third round of spades. The ruling is that I
receive one more trick, so my score on this hand that started
with 6 losers ends up with only 3 losers or plus 170!
I'm not sure if the punishment did fit the crime but I will
suggest everyone count their cards now on every hand so that
this never happens to you!
(Editor's note: I looked in the bridge laws, and found that
there IS a rule that you should count your cards ("Law 7:
Part B.1: Counting Cards in Hand before Play
Each player counts his cards face down to be sure he has
exactly 13;"). You don't get penalized for not counting,
but you CAN get penalized if it turns out you don't have
the right number of cards and it affects the way the hand
played. So, remember, YOU are responsible for the number
of cards you have, so count those cards!)
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
==============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to JustJill for this:
Advice for the day:
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what
it says on the aspirin bottle:
Take two Aspirin," and "Keep away from children."
A FEW ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS...
CHILDREN: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them
to sit down and shut-up.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still
getting in!
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home
===========================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are thrilled to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
From The 2004 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: none North
Dlr: S S 8653
H QJ9
D AT93
C 94
South
S A72
H AKT53
D QJ4
C KQ
West North East South
1H
P 2H P 4H
all pass
Opening Lead: SK
South got to 4H in a hurry. How should he play after West
leads the SK and East follows with the ST?
********************
S 8653
H QJ9
D AT93
C 94
S KQJ9 S T4
H 862 H 74
D 52 D K876
C J873 C AT652
S A72
H AKT53
D QJ4
C KQ
Contract: 4h Lead: SK
*******************
Some hands offer clearly correct lines of play. Others come
with lots to think about but no certainties. This hand falls
into the latter category.
You can see all four hands now and can see that East has the
DK. After you win the SA and draw trump, East will win the DK
and will return a spade for West to cash out the spade suit.
East's CA will be the setting trick later.
Flawed Argument: The paragraph above has a flaw in it. If, at
the point East gets in with his DK, he has a spade to lead,
you do indeed go down. If you choose to duck the first spade
lead, however, and win the second, East won't have a spade to
return and since West can not get in, you will have time to
discard a spade loser on the diamonds.
Conclusion: While it is not always obvious to do so, holding
up on the opening lead can be just as effective in a suit
contract as in a notrump contract. If East is ruffing the
second spade, you may go down in a cold contract. At least
you will have my sympathetic ear, if not your partner's.
********************
Hand and analysis by Michael Lawrence, courtesy of the Daily
Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc., Brampton,
ON, Canada. Reprinted with permission. (Special thanks to
Lee Daugherty and Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this giggle:
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as
the food was being served.
When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right
away.
"Johnny wait until we say our prayer." his mother reminded
him.
"I don't have to." The boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer
before eating at our house."
"That's at our house," Johnny explained. "But this is
Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook."
============================================================
BRIDGE FOR THE CLUB PLAYER
==========================
The Fireside Chat is just delighted to welcome Jack Brawner to
our staff of regular contributors. The reaction to his first
article last month was so positive, we couldn't let him get
away! Now he knows what nagging is all about! :)
Jack is a full-time bridge teacher and club owner in St.
Petersburg, Florida. He is a soon-to-be Gold Life Master who
has earned the right to represent Florida ten times in NAP or
GNT competition (with six different partners!). His column,
"Bridge for the Club Player," which started as lessons for his
students (including his talented novice wife Jacquie), ran in
the Florida Bridge News for about four years.
His goal was always to try and teach the things that will help
the NORMAL player -- the player who enjoys bridge and would
like to play better, but does not aspire to expert status
(yet).
He has just returned to OKBridge after a several year absence.
Say hello to him as "Nightowl"...and don't be surprised if he
makes you laugh -- he has a fabulous sense of humor too!
Jack hopes to become more involved in OKB and teaching online
and wants you to feel free to Email him at Trojanowl@AOL.com
with comments or questions.
Welcome, Jack!
********************
WHAT SHOULD I SAVE?? The four sources of information
I am quite sure that all of us are faced with this dilemma
every session: declarer is running a long suit and we are
feeling the pressure -- what to keep and what to throw away?
And haven't we all had that horrible sinking feeling that he
has done it to us again as we find that we have saved the
wrong card!
"He was squeezing me", we think. And that may or may not be
true. But I must tell you that for every squeeze that occurs,
MANY a "pseudosqueeze" occurs. Let's define these terms (with
an assist from the immortal Victor Mollo): When declarer is
running a long suit and you throw the "wrong" card, that's an
error. And if you throw some other "wrong" card, that's a
different error. These are "pseudosueezees". It is only when
there is no "right" card to throw that you are truly squeezed
-- and this is fairly rare.
Always assume that there is SOMETHING that you (and your
partner) can save to prevent that extra trick. And don't go
down without a fight! What I want to help you do this month
is to become more skilled at saving the RIGHT card. These are
not rules about what to save -- these are the "sources of
information" to help you make good decisions! Saving the
right card will turn MANY below-average boards into above-
average boards, trust me!
As we frequently need to do whenever we are trying to improve
our game, we need to dispense with a previous habit. Here is
a key statement:
The WORST way to make a decision about which card to save is
by looking at your own hand!
What?? Is he serious?? Yes, I am. Many a time a player has
come up to me with their hand and asked what they should save.
(Usually they are looking for sympathy -- grin.) They are
usually unsatisfied when they leave, as neither I nor anyone
else can answer this question without some access to these
four basic sources of information...
First disclaimer: If you are counting out the hand, and you
KNOW what to save, pay no attention to these guidelines. You
don't need them, at least on this hand.
Second disclaimer: nothing works all the time -- these
"sources of information", listed somewhat in prioritized
order, are designed to HELP your thought processes.
THE DUMMY Or: what can you see?
If you can SEE the AKQ2 of clubs in the dummy, and you have
the J543 (or even 6543!), then this is what you likely should
save. Even if it means you have to throw away the Ace of
diamonds! Yes, I am serious. There are only two
possibilities here -- declarer has the diamond King, in which
case you were doomed anyway (a legitimate squeeze), or partner
has it, in which case he has the diamonds covered, and it is
VITAL that you save that fourth card in the dummy's suit. It
is not at all uncommon for it to be necessary to save four
cards in a suit, even with no honor.
THE BIDDING Or: what could you see if declarer's hand was
dummy?
From the bidding, you can frequently know quite a bit about
declarer's shape. Even though you cannot actually "see" his
cards, try to see them in your MIND. (For example, if
declarer -- playing 3NT -- responded two spades to a Stayman
auction, you may need to save your spades!)
PARTNER'S DISCARDS Or: what is partner telling you?
In it's simplest form, there is a good principle available
here -- if partner is throwing one suit, he must be saving
another. Don't save the same suit. Good partnerships use good
signaling (and they pay attention!) to help each other. But
remember, you can't save everything -- if you can, there is no
problem on this hand, right? If you have no idea what to
save, it is frequently a good idea to just pick something and
throw it so that your partner will know what you are NOT
saving.
DECLARER'S DISCARDS Or: what is declarer saving?
Well, if he is throwing one suit, he is probably saving
another. You should likely save that one too. Beware of
trickery, though. Watch ALL of declarer's discards, not just
the first one or the last one.
Here are some other hints about being a good discarder:
Plan ALL your discards early. Take your time BEFORE it
becomes critical. If you can see the need to make four
discards, plan all four if you can. If you agonize over each
card, or especially if you wait until it becomes painful, a
good declarer will KNOW what your problem is.
When in doubt, keep parity (the same number of cards in each
suit) with the hand on your right.
Don't save doomed cards. If you have the Kx in front of
dummy's AQx, throw them both. Partner may need to save Jxx,
and your King is dead anyway.
Help your partner. For example, if you have the KQ of a suit,
discard the king to tell partner you have the queen (and are
saving it). That may relieve the pressure on his Ace. And
also...
Make informative discards EARLY. If you have decided you need
to save clubs and therefore eventually throw the QJ2 of
diamonds, then it may be best to throw the Queen AND the Jack
early in the hand. (Partner may not realize his T9x is
important unless you tell him -- before it is too late!)
When all else fails, and you truly feel that you are
legitimately squeezed, "bare the King" that is behind the Ace.
This works fairly often as long as you can do it without
visible agony. And it's best to do it early. Just don't
blame it on me when it DOESN'T work...grin.
Happy discarding! Jack Brawner
* * *
Howdy!
Jack came home after giving a lesson and announced, "I have an
idea for an article!" This is the result, and I love it.
Many of his articles have come from answering questions posed
by students. He also does a great job at gearing his answer
to meet the current needs (and capabilities) of the student.
The first time I asked this question, he advised me to 'keep
parity with the dummy' and explained how and why. This served
me well for quite some time and brought about a huge
improvement in my Correct-Card-Saved average. He later added
the rest of these items as I became ready for them, and I
still struggle with 'SEEING' the declarer's hand.
I also find that when declarer starts running a long, strong
suit, I'll try to work out all of my discards early. But if
the long suit is in a dummy with scant entries, my focus is on
eliminating their entries in the hope I won't need to make
those discards.
If you've struggled with figuring out what to save, this
article will become one of your favorites. It will help you
save the right card in most situations and give you some
enviable tops. (And you'll be much less squeeze-able, too!)
Enjoy! Jacquie Brawner
* * *
I think Jacquie is VERY "squeeze-able", but that's another
story. -- Jack :)
********************
Jack welcomes students of all levels for lessons.
Contact him for information at trojanowl@aol.com
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this one, too:
A college drama group presented a play in which one character
would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into
hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor
would open, and the character would plunge through. The play
was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill,
another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When
the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand
pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became
hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make
him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
"Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
===============================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Sat Jun 5 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 bvb/Pringle 3.14 12
Mon Jun 14 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Dloye/frodo 63.99 12
Wed Jun 16 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 luckylu/tuna 71.73 12
Wed Jun 16 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/moogal 66.11 12
Thu Jun 17 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 ask1/gazette 61.63 12
Mon Jun 28 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/moogal 3.29 9
I'd also like to recognize those of our family who placed in
the B and C flights!
GROOVYB, KARLJK, DESIREE, SL, ARROW, BAOL
We encourage you to change your flight to B or C so that you
are competing on an appropriate level -- you can do this on
the OKB website home page. Look for "Change my flight" in the
box where you icon appears. This is OKB's way of letting
everyone have a chance to get some pond points. And, if you do
place in the overalls, you are still eligible for the higher
awards!
I know I must have missed a few of your names here. I can't
check every result -- believe it or not I do have a day job
:)) Please email me and let me know about your good results.
We want everyone's name up here in lights!
***********************************************************
NOVICE MENTOR TOURNEYS
Congrats to our winners of the Novice-Mentor tourney this
month.
And well done to all our top finishers:
Thu Jun 10 06:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Breeze/rodin 70.45 11
2 believer/de 64.58 12
3 connie/jstans 54.55 11
Be sure to show up on the second Thursday each month (July 8th
this month) for your chance to play!
**********************************************************
FIRESIDE'S MENTOR CUP GAME
Our May winners are:
06-06-2004 Team PETER_5: Peter_5, Jundith, Hawes & Hec1
06-20-2004 Team BOBOWEN: Bobowen, Queenhrt, Pringle &
Unicorn
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and
lists of all our top placing stars. To get on the email
reminder list for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com
- all welcome!
****************************************************************
Found this while browsing the Fifth Chair Website:
(http://www.fifthchair.org)
Gold Star Award Winners
The Gold Star Award is given yearly to a Fifth Chair Volunteer
who has distinguished themselves in service to the Foundation
and the game of bridge.
Gold Star Award 2004
The Fifth Chair Foundation proudly awards its 2004 Gold Star
Award to Bob Owen. He has been assisting us at OKbridge in
getting the commentators and table servers set up for both the
SAYC and the 2/1 team games. His excellent work each week in
keeping the games going and well organized exemplifies the
high ideals and aspirations of our organization.
-- Congratulations, Bob!
*************************************************************
Fireside get well wishes to our dear friend Danilo (SHADE) who
was recently hospitalized. We're delighted that he is back
home, back on-line and back being the charming TM for Lynn
and Colin while he recuperates-- we can't express our relief
to see him back!
Danilo would like to thank all his friends on OKB for their
support and love -- the best medicine in the world.
************************************************************
Ed made me laugh with this submission:
Ed (ED4) and Ruth (KITKAT) --playing as partners at the recent
Gatlinburg, Tennessee regional--won two knockouts and barely
(by 3 IMPs) missed winning a third. (In that third, one of
their teammates apologetically said he as declarer went down
in a cold game contract due to his having reneged.) Ed
suggests that the above victories just go to show that two
monkeys sitting at one typewriter will eventually type a
novel. Also, the Fireside newsletter would have been notified
earlier had negotiations with the New York Times for front
page coverage not been taking so much of Ed's and Ruth's time.
The sticking point in the negotiations was whether the subject
category would be zoology.
Well done, Ruth and Ed!
************************************************************
Here's a delightful story from Peter (OBI)...if you have ever
felt like the bidding at your table is from Mars, you'll enjoy
this one:
"When playing a bigger regional tournament in Bavaria some
weeks ago, it happened - not far from the end of the event. It
had started at 10 in the morning -- now it was about 6.30 PM
and I was very tired. I was dummy with a very good hand; my
pard had to play some slam -- I think it was 6NT.
I had to look for the restroom and it was a little bit urgent,
so I asked opps to allow me to leave the table for that
reason. When coming back some minutes later my pard had won
his slam. There were only some minutes left to play the 2nd
board and so I took my cards out of the board very fast. Again
I had a wonderful hand with 24 HCP, 4 spades, 2/3/4 in the
other suits.
LHO opened 1S, pass by my pard, RHO's bid was 3D - alerted as
Bergen: 10 to 12 points, 4 spades.
I wondered a little about so many points in the deck, but it
was a forcing bid so I decided to wait and see what would
happen, and passed. And now LHO: 4NT - RHO: 5C (0 or 3 key
cards). I made a lead directing double now with AKJ in clubs,
LHO: 6 sp. After 2 more passes I doubled again and my pard
leads ... the Ace of clubs!!! Can you imagine that I felt like
I was in the wrong movie: 65 or more points in one board
and 2 Aces of clubs!!!
And now I saw it: I had taken my cards out of a board, yes,
but it was the wrong board, the one they had played when I was
looking for the restroom.
I called for the TD, now bewildering the other 3 players at
the table. Because my wrong cards have had no influence on the
opps' bidding they could play 6S ... for down 1; my pard made
2 tricks. I had really nothing in this hand but the 10 of
hearts, so no real Yarborough but not the 24 points I had
during the bidding!"
Thanks for sending this, Peter. You made us all smile today.
(And appreciate another reason why we prefer our bridge on
OKB!)
**************************************************************
Turin Polls Raise Cain by Richard Pavlicek
Have my bidding polls been causing turmoil in Italy? This
title may seem as mysterious as the Shroud of Turin, or as
confusing as the Book of Genesis, but it definitely offers a
clue to the tournament in which these problems occurred. But
don't worry about that. Just vote for the call you prefer on
each of the six problems. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/7y89.htm
Results of the June contest "The Falcon Is Found!" will be
posted July 3. For these, and everything else related to the
polls and contests, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
Last month I printed a fun bridge puzzle from Richard's web
site. I know you enjoyed trying to solve it, so here is
another one!
Best Game In Town
After failing in his 5D contract, South berated his partner,
"You are a cue-biddin' fool. Why didn't you just bid 3 NT? Or
at least mention your five-card spade suit so I could pass and
get a plus score."
"My hand was too strong," North retaliated. "There was nothing
wrong with the final contract except for the horrendous trump
break. On a good day, even 6D would roll on these cards."
"Yea, sure; like I'm thinking about a slam here. All I wanted
was to get to a makable game. Is that too much to ask?"
"If you were clairvoyant you would pass 3C doubled, which we
could defeat *four* tricks. Once you bid we were doomed. It
looks like there is no game to be made our way."
Wrong! What is the only makable game contract for North-South?
5D by South
S AK654
H AK
D A86
C A86
S QJ107 S 983
H 432 H J1098
D QJ1097 D --
C 10 C KQJ942
S 2
H Q765
D K5432
C 753
Lead: DQ
West North East South
3C Pass
Pass Dbl Pass 3D
Pass 4C Pass 4H
Pass 5C Pass 5D
All Pass
Solution
The most likely game appears to be 3 NT in that there are
eight top tricks. After the obvious club lead, declarer's best
hope is to establish the long spade without letting East gain
the lead. In order to do this it is necessary to lead the
first spade from South, which means using the DK entry. Alas,
West can then knock out the DA and establish his diamonds
first. Any squeeze attempt will also fail with the cramped
communication. In short, 3 NT cannot be made.
What about 4S? With the 4-3 break there are nine easy tricks
after clearing trumps. Unfortunately, there is no 10th in
sight. Scratch this one.
Aha! Did I hear someone mention 4H? That's a clever devious
answer to a bridge puzzle. But sorry, not this puzzle.
The correct answer was staring you in the face. Despite the
5-0 trump break, 5 D is makable after any lead. Assuming the
actual DQ lead, the key play is to win the ace. The basic plan
is to remove all of West's side-suit cards ending in the South
hand (the exact order is not critical). Win the H A-K and the
S A-K (throwing a club), ruff a spade, cross to the CA, ruff
another spade, and cash the HQ (throwing a club) to reach the
ending in the diagram:
S 6
H --
D 86
C 8
S -- S --
H -- H J
D J1097 D --
C -- C KQ
S --
H 7
D K5
C 7
When South leads the H7, West must ruff high and a club is
thrown from North. West returns a high diamond, taken by the
king, then the C7 is led to promote the D8 en passant. West is
completely helpless.
Remember this deal the next time you shun that five-of-a-minor
contract. There is more to this game than we sometimes
realize.
Historical note: I composed this deal over 25 years ago for
the ACBL Bulletin, at which time I stated that 5D was to be
played by North (to prevent a trump lead). The late, brilliant
Oswald Jacoby pointed out that it was makable by South as
well. And I have no doubt he would have done just that if he
were at the table.
*************************************************************
Good luck to our Fireside commentators and attendees who are
off the nationals in New York City to do us proud:)) Be sure
to send me your results -- we love to showcase our talent!
Also, send me any stories, pictures, or even tales of
woe.....our readers love to read about YOU!!
Happy Canada Day and 4th of July!!
Hugs....Janice
*************************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who
write for The Chat, we want to note that some of our other
commentators and newsletter contributors also give lessons
in most shapes and sizes....mentoring games, tourney play,
partnership coaching, just about whatever type of lesson
you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Patricia/Fifee AndersonsCorner@charter.net
Nightowl/Jack trojanowl@aol.com
The lessons can be more affordable than you might
think, especially mentoring games. We think our
commentators give you your money's worth when you
choose private lessons, and they really value your
business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one what
you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
**************************************************************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program?
An event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of
us? A question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for
us to visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to
miss anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside,
it's easy now with PAYPAL! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet,
here are some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has
developed to enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm
(Note that IGITSAP must be in CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
July Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, July 8, at 6:00 PM, OKb time. A low-key
introduction to the tourney experience, sponsored
by Fifth Chair...see www.fifthchair.org for more info
on this and their other services, including getting a
mentor.
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sundays, 5:00 P.M. July 11 & 25.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at firesider@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically
in your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions.
After clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section.
Write an email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer
your questions.
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks again to JustJill for these:
George Carlin's View on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to
get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm
four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're
four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You
jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are
you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're
gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21 . . .
YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you
sound like bad milk. He TURNED --- we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong?
What's changed?
You BECOME 21 -- you TURN 30 --- then you're PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes -- it's all slipping away. Before you
know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So
you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to the
"BIG 60".
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's
a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you
HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going
backwards; "I was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you
become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
========================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
Blowing in the Wind
I've just touched back down in my home town after my annual
joust in the Canadian Team Championships. After surviving an
arduous third day in the round-robin where we ran a gauntlet
against five of the top squads, we were in a position where it
looked as if we'd advance to the playoffs with a decent effort
on the final day. Alas, the bottom fell out as we turfed the
last two matches and our aspirations were left unfulfilled.
As so often is the case, it wasn't a case of having to
play brilliantly to survive to the next day. So many times,
IMPs hung on a slender thread and went blowing in the wind, to
use a verse from the famous Bob Dylan song. There were a few
unlucky hands, to be sure, but our fate was sealed by the
inability to follow basic principles. We didn't need rocket
science to advance to the next stage, it was simply a matter
of dotting the i's and crossing the t's.
We start with a hand from the first day's play, with North-
South vulnerable:
North
S-- J10
H-- J53
D-- A975
West C-- A432 East
S-- A54 S-- 83
H-- A964 H-- 7
D-- QJ D-- K10963
C-- KQ97 South C-- J10865
S-- KQ9762
H-- KQ1082
D-- 42
C-- void
East South West North
pass 1S 1NT dbl
rdbl* 4H pass pass
4NT pass 5C dbl
pass pass pass
After North's penalty double, East redoubled to show a weak
one-suiter, forcing partner to bid 2C. South jumped to 4H to
show an offensive two-suiter, and East now sallied forth with
4NT showing the minors. West now bid 5C and North doubled.
The double seems a bit unilateral to me. Granted, responder
has 4-4 in the minors, but with aces and some useful cards in
opener's suits, I might pass instead, leaving the final
decision to South.
North led a low heart, won by declarer with the Ace. Now West
played the nine of trumps and North erred by ducking. He was
afraid that going up with the Ace might crash a singleton
honour in partner's hand. However, in his desire to register
a possible two-trick set, he lost sight of the way to ensure
defeating the contract, namely going up with the Ace and
returning a spade while still in possession of his diamond
winner. When the first round of trumps was allowed to hold,
declarer switched gears and drove out the Ace of diamonds.
North won and now led spades, but it was too late. West took
the Ace and played three more rounds of diamonds, tossing
spades from his hand. Now he ruffed a spade back and drove
out the Ace of clubs, losing only the two minor suit aces for
+550.
In the hospitality suite afterwards, we speculated how South
would do in a contract of 5H doubled. It seems as if the
defense can succeed by leading clubs on the go and continuing
the suit as West gets in with the two major suit aces.
However, declarer has a winning reply. On winning the Ace of
clubs, South forces out the heart Ace and ruffs as West
persists with the clubs. Now he drives out the spade Ace and
trumps a third round of clubs. Now comes a flood of spade
winners, and West is helpless. If he trumps, that will
shorten him back down to the same length as South, who can
overruff in dummy and now draw the remaining fangs. So this
was a major loss to our team, who played 4C at the other table
when North-South failed to bid on. North by not making a more
flexible pass turned a potential +850 (as 5H would have been
surely doubled) into +100, and the defensive slip turned even
the meager plus into a disastrous minus.
On the third day, we played five of the strongest teams and
fared decently, winning three matches. However, there were a
couple of missteps that blemished our Victory point total.
One was a defensive challenge.
You hold in the East chair, with no one vul:
S-- A83 H-- 983 D-- J1053 C-- K106
The auction unfolds:
South West North East
1NT pass 2S* pass
2NT* pass 3C* pass
3NT pass pass pass
2S by responder showed either a 2NT invite or a signoff in
either minor. 2NT by opener showed a minimum, and 3C was the
weak hand with clubs. Now opener surged forward to 3NT,
likely on the basis of a good fit for responder's suit.
Partner leads the King of hearts and you see the following
dummy:
S-- K104 H-- Q D-- 872 C-- J87542
You play the 3 of hearts, and now you see the 4 of diamonds
switch. Declarer takes the King and now plays the Jack of
spades, which you duck. He now persists with another spade,
which you take with the Ace. Partner has played low-high in
the suit. Now what?
East played the 9 of hearts, and that was the end of the
defense, as the entire hand was:
North
S-- K104
H-- Q
D-- 872
West C-- J87542 East
S-- Q52 S-- A83
H-- AK652 H-- 983
D-- Q964 D-- J1053
C-- 9 South C-- K106
S-- J976
H-- J1074
D-- AK
C-- AQ3
Declarer covered, West taking the Ace and reverting to
diamonds. South took the King, went to dummy with a spade and
played a club to the Queen. He got bad news on the second
round of clubs, but with the 8 of hearts dropping he was able
to notch up his ninth trick with the seven of hearts, getting
three spades, and two tricks each in the other suits.
East should continue diamonds when he gets in for two
reasons. First, it's an attitude situation on partner's
shift. If he were trying to reach your hand for a heart
continuation, he would lead a higher spot card in diamonds, to
deny interest in the suit. Instead, you saw the four of
diamonds with the 3 in your hand and the 2 in dummy. So
partner should have high-card strength in diamonds. Also,
the carding in spades reinforces that message. Partner could
have, for instance, high-lowed to express a preference for a
heart continuation. The four of diamonds combined with the
low-high play in declarer's suit translates to a burning
desire from partner for a diamond continuation, which is
enough to defeat the enemy contract.
Finally, we have a hand in the slam zone where responder went
awry in the bidding.
West: S-- J10x H-- AQxxxx D-- A C-- Axx
The bidding:
North East South West
pass 1C pass 1H
pass 1NT* pass 2D*
pass 3C* pass 4C
pass 4H pass 4NT
pass 5C pass 6H
East's 1NT rebid showed 16-18 HCP, and West's 2D was an
artificial game force. Opener's 3C denied three hearts or
four spades, but promised a five-card club suit. Responder
now supported, then made a 4NT request and bid the slam when
partner admitted to holding one keycard. However, the defense
led spades and partner had:
S-- Q7 H-- KJ D-- KQ84 C-- KQJ94
Upon viewing dummy, South continued partner's lead and the
slam went down.
The problem here was that responder consumed a lot 'of
bidding room with the 4C bid. Instead, he can go with the
maxi-flex 3D, which after he supports clubs next, can easily
be discerned as an advance cuebid. Now we'd have:
North East South West
pass 1C pass 1H
pass 1NT* pass 2D*
pass 3C* pass 3D
pass 3H pass 4C
pass 4H pass 5D
pass 5H pass pass
pass
West now has lots of room to try and pry a spade cuebid from
partner. When opener resists the slam advances, his side
stops on the brink.
Anyway, that's it for this month. We'll be back next time
out with final-day coverage from the CNTCs and an analysis of
the playoff stage.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca)
for more information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for these:
THEY SAID IT!
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut
afterwards." - Benjamin Franklin
"Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and
smile for a satellite picture." - Steven Wright
Make God laugh, "Tell him your plans" -Ken Hall
"The shower is the greatest invention. I don't like to take a
bath. I don't like to wash my face in the water I've been
sitting in." - Lewis Grizzard
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're
in front of you in the supermarket express lane." - June
Henderson
"Surprisingly, my boss refuses to accept 'the early bird
catches the worm' as a valid excuse for leaving work every day
at 2:00 pm." - Michael Hayward
"It's a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize
that one's safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder
on a government contract." - - Alan Shepherd
"Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after
all, has to make sense." - Mark Twain
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them
pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
The Annies
**********
"And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
till the landslide brought it down"
- "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac
Yesterday was election day in my fair land. It has me
thinking of politics, so bear with me and I'll get around to
the bridge stuff eventually. I promise.
One of my heroines in the U.S. is the glorious Texas
Democrat, Ann Richards. Who could resist anyone who says that
"beating Republicans is the most fun we can have with our
clothes on"?
That earthy, quotable charm used to draw international
attention to all of Ms. Richards' campaigns. Canada has its
own Annie: Ann McLellan. Ms. McLellan has an unbroken
series of four consecutive wins--all of them nail biters.
Her penchant for cliffhangers has earned her the ironic
nickname "Landslide Annie". How close were her wins?
"I doubt I'd have won a single election if I hadn't
had that third kid. Those stretch marks paid off!"
Sadly, Annie had no chance in last night's outing. As
a Liberal in a province where Genghis Khan is regarded as a
leftist, things have always been difficult for our heroine.
This time, though, she was saddled with a party leader who
has demonstrated the grace of a Gerald Ford, the integrity
of a Richard Nixon and the charisma of an Al Gore. But it
gets worse. Two parties--each of them strong enough to
challenge hers *on their own*--had now joined forces. And,
to make matters worse, her other opponents were about to
almost double their share of the popular vote. Clearly, this
would be the end of the line for Our Lady of the Landslide.
The end of an era.
Bridge was invented in the Age of the Flapper, a time
of remarkable playfulness and outrageous humour. As you
know, many bridge expressions were explicit or subtle sexual
references. The game flourished among all classes. Even
Barney & Betty Rubble played it against the Flintstones.
I could easily imagine the Annies fitting in well with
this first generation of bridge players. During the sixties,
though, the torch was passed to a much more conservative
leadership. "Dignity" became more important than frivolity.
The game went upscale: nationals were now to be held in 5-Star
downtown hotels, not in outlying convention centers--and
certainly
not in universities. The rise in membership numbers lurched to a
halt and then fell. We no longer saw pictures of celebrities
playing bridge. Like canaries in a mine shaft, even the
Flintstones
stopped playing the game. Bridge became less international, with
Roman Key Card Blackwood having the distinction of being the last
gadget successfully imported into ACBL play. With betting banned
outright (by the ACBL and/or civil authorities) the two most
enjoyable F2F bridge formats--Gators and Calcuttas--became
almost extinct. In 1960 virtually all universities had a bridge
club. By 1975 almost none did.
Online play is rejuvenating the game. To their credit,
OKBridge is at the forefront of that resurgence. The
international
flavour has returned, along with a far more open-minded attitude
towards the unfamiliar. As for dignity, is that something we
worry
about while playing in our housecoats?
I cannot pretend to know all the details of how the original
generation of bridge promoters managed the spectacular feat of
inventing a game and making it the world's number one craze
within
a decade.
I'm just glad they did.
As my eyes turned back to the election results I saw a
possible miracle in the making. Annie, yes, our Landslide
Annie, was neck and neck with her opponent. Impossible! But
there it was on my screen! The lead changed hands with almost
every polling booth: Annie one minute, the forces of darkness
the next. As a Western constituency, hers would be among the
last to close and be counted. The nation watched, stamping and
cheering for another "landslide". Even separatists and members
of her rival's party tuned in from across the nation, screaming
as one: "Go, Annie!"
In the end, to everyone's stark amazement, Landslide Annie
had won by her largest margin ever--more than a full percentage
point! I don't know how she did it.
I'm just glad she did.
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net)
for more information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to PamA for these:
1. People with ordinary minds talk about events. People with
great minds talk about ideas. People with warped minds talk
about bridge hands.
2. Do you know what the difference is between a mad psycho
serial-killer and a bridge partner? You can reason with the
serial killer.
3. Learning she was going to have twins, the bridge-playing
wife said, "That's just like my husband . Doubling me when
I'm vulnerable."
4. We had a partnership misunderstanding. My partner assumed
I knew what I was doing.
5. You know you're in trouble when the first thing the
opponents decide to do is draw trumps, and you're the
declarer.
6. They were at a concert. Said she, a bridge addict, "What's
that book the conductor keeps looking at?" "That's the score,"
answered her escort. "Oh. Who's vulnerable?"
7. Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps
you get there faster.
8. A contestant in a tournament suddenly slumped down in his
chair, victim of what seemed like a seizure or fit of some
kind. A doctor was hastily summoned. He took the stricken
man's pulse and noted that it was steady and firm. Obviously
it was no heart attack. From the victim's white face and
clammy hands the doctor surmised that this was a case of
shock. A bridge player himself, he picked up the victim's
cards and studied them. He then turned to the others at the
table. "Now let me have a review of the bidding," he
requested.
9. There once was a player from Beirut Who thought he would
try to be cute. He overcalled a spade and died as he played.
10. The post-mortem: A four-card suit?
11. Overheard at the bridge club: We had a 75-percent game
last night! Three out of four opponents thought we were
idiots.
12. There are three kinds of bridge players: Those who can
count, and those who can't.
13. Want to be an expert? Rule #1: Never take a finesse to
make your contract when you can go down on a squeeze play!
14. Did you ever notice that experts avoid the use of
Blackwood, and novices use Blackwood with a void?
15. Joe knows nothing about the game. His wife plays twice as
well.
16. A well-balanced player makes up for his inadequacy in the
bidding with his ineptitude in the play.
17. Speaking of morons: Did you hear about the guy who wanted
to learn bridge in one day? He bought 35 copies of "Five Weeks
To Winning Bridge."
18. Did you know? 43.6 percent of all slam contracts fail.
62.7 percent of all bridge players are women. 97.8 percent of
all bridge statistics, including these, are made up.
19. Sorry, partner. I would a led my singleton... but I
couldn't find it -- it was so small.
20. Too bad, pard. That was an unlucky grand slam. The ace
of trumps was off side.
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