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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT MAY 2004
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the May, 2004 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide
Chat" newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK/FIFEE
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@bellsouth.net,
or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication
and caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking
of taking private lessons, paying a professional to play
tourneys with you, getting involved in a group session
mentoring program... most, if not all, of our commentators
and contributors to this newsletter are available for those
services. Just think how much easier it is to learn
from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2004 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Hi :-)
First, I want to let you know that since I'll be away the end
of May, the June newsletter will be mailed out late, after I
get home. It probably will be about a week or so late in
getting to you next month.
Second, we came up with an idea to say "thank you" to our
supporting FireSide attendees. Everyone who sends a
contribution to the FireSide fund during the month of May will
be entered in a drawing to win the book "Points Schmoints!",
by Marty Bergen (donated by Moogal.)
We hope to make this a monthly drawing, giving away a
different bridge book each month.
Get those checks in the mail soon! We'll draw a name and
announce it in the next newsletter.
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for these:
Wise Sayings
1. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the
"Juneflower."
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted and used against you.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains
so popular?
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial
costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
20. Just remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end
to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
world population.
25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first.
27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to
fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in
rats.
32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands
of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak .
=================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
What Does Partner Have?
The ability to visualize the unseen hands separates the average
player from the expert. Those that can close their eyes and see
partner's probable hand will finish near the top every time.
Here is a hand that calls for your rabbit eyes to see in the
dark!
You pick up:
S AK10xx
H J9xx
D 3
C Qxx
and the auction goes like this:
Pard RHO You LHO
1D 1H 1S P
4H P ?
OK, what does partner have?
He has forced to game so he has 18+ in support of spades. He has
4 card spade support and he has a stiff heart(his 4H splinter
bid).
Let's give him a typical representative hand to see if we should
get excited or not. Give him
S QJxx
H x
D AKQxx
C ???
To justify his jump to game he must have a club card in addition
to everything else. so he has either the ace or king of clubs to
give him the 18+ points he promised. Knowing that, we have an
easy bid of Blackwood to see if we have enough aces to bid slam.
We must be safe at the five level even if we are off two aces,
which is highly unlikely! This was his actual hand:
S QJxx
H x
D AKxx
C AKxx
Slam is cold but nobody got there in a big regional open pairs
event.
If you want another good method to double check for slam,
eliminate the heart suit (splintered suit) and count the
remaining three suits for high card points. Out of those 30
outstanding points you have 9 points and we expect partner to
have 18. Added together we have 27 out of those 30 points. We
concede one loser in hearts but we have the rest of the suits
covered well.
Do not be afraid to place cards in partner's hand that he needs
to justify his bids. By doing that you will pick up the habit of
picturing the unseen cards and become a winning bridge player!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
==============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Wheels for these:
Ponderings & Curiosities.
The eyes are the 2nd to go...I forget the first...
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what
to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
A beggar asked me for 50¢ for a sandwich. I said, "First let me
see the sandwich."
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he
grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is
gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other
people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
look like a nail.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain
whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show
you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
===========================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are thrilled to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
From The 2004 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: E/W
Dlr: S
North
S 9876
H 2
D AJT98
C KJ2
South
S 5432
H A3
D KQ
C A6543
West North East South
1C
P 1D 1H 1S
4H* 4S all pass
*Preemptive
Opening Lead HJ
West's jump to 4H puts pressure on North. But with four-card
spade support, a fit in South's first-bid suit, and a
singleton, he takes a shot at 4S.
This is one of my [Adler] favorite teaching deals. The only
makeable game is 4S with the weakest possible eight-card
trump holding. However, it must still be made. What would be
your line of play?
********************
S 9876
H 2
D AJT98
C KJ2
S KJT S AQ
H JT987 H KQ654
D 5432 D 76
C 7 C QT98
S 5432
H A3
D KQ
C A6543
Contract: 4S Lead: HJ
*******************
Clearly, you need to find trumps 3-2 and hold your losers
there to those three tricks. (If trumps were 4-1,, you might
well have been doubled.) So, win with the HA and play a
trump.
Suppose East wins and returns a heart. Ruff in the dummy and
lead another trump. Then, win what comes back and play on
diamonds, pitching clubs from hand. The CK is still in the
dummy as a late entry.
The many dwarfs overpower the few giants.
********************
Hand and analysis by Phillip Adler, courtesy of the Daily
Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc., Brampton,
ON, Canada. Reprinted with permission. (Special thanks to
Lee Daugherty and Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that
you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you
think it means?" "You'll know on Valentine's Day." he said.
On Valentine's Day, the man came home with a small package and
gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book
entitled...."The Meaning Of Dreams."
============================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Mon Apr 5 11:00 AM Combo
Rank Team Score Boards
1 kaltica/moogal 62.16 24
Tue Apr 6 05:30 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 pringle/unicorn 72.41 12
Sat Apr 24 04:00 PM Combo
Rank Team Score Boards
1 dloye/jfokch 2.37 24
There are now 13 tourneys a day, plus combo results, it's just
not possible for me to check each one....so if you win a tourney,
let me know! We want everyone's name up in lights!
**********************************************************
NOVICE MENTOR TOURNEYS
Congrats to our winners of the two Novice-Mentor tourneys this
month.
And well done to all our top finishers:
Thu Apr 8 06:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 frank-1/Kaltica 68.33 12
2 chinito/ringroad 66.00 10
3 enriquek/snoman 65.14 12
4 hester/sampson 58.17 10
5 Lyons/yoder 57.67 10
6 joshua/pearl2 55.83 12
Sat Apr 17 12:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 mabel/mmoti 63.89 12
2 believer/marlys 61.11 12
3 andrews/dloye 60.76 12
4 MaryEmma/rindal 60.42 12
5 dorisb/knyee 55.90 12
6 anit/preger 50.00 10
Mentors and novices, join us this month on the 13th and on the
15th - email Sandra at sandree@attbi.com if you would like to
find a partner ahead of time. We'll do our best to match you up!
I promise you a fun game.
*********************************************************
FIRESIDE'S MENTOR CUP GAME
Our April winners are:
04-04-2004 Bobowen, Queenhrt, Pringle & Unicorn
04-18-2004 Gaus271, Judydee, Mbar & Toddy
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder list
for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all welcome!
*********************************************************
A special happy 89th birthday to Albert Brockman (ALBERTB), one
of our favorite tourney opps! His partner, Benson, told us that
Al celebrated by going to Reno to play in the nationals. Many
many more, Albert!
*********************************************************
I read a story on rec.games.bridge that really really made me
laugh.
Opening leader puts a Queen on the table, which is alerted as
"demands the play of the Jack". The novice declarer thinks a
minute, says "I don't think that is right, but...." and
plays....the jack! :)
**********************************************************
Well done to Fred (FREDW3) who had a very successful time at the
Gatlinburg Regional this past month. He won a KO, and was tied
for 3/4 on two others. He also won the continuous pairs game! He
brought home a total of 75 gold points! Congrats Fred!!
*********************************************************
My dear friends are trivia kings!! The ACBL held a trivia contest
for prizes ranging from ACBL bridge bucks to free plays to paid
expenses at a NABC. The winners were selected randomly from all
correct submissions. One of the two grand prize winners is
Jonathan (JHARRISH), my Houston teammie, who won Five room nights
at the host hotel for the 2004 Fall NABC in Orlando, plus 10 free
plays for that NABC. One of the second place winners was my good
buddy and partner Eric (ETSAND) who won 10 free plays at the
summer or fall nationals. Hey Jonathan, need a roommate for
Orlando?:)
You can see a complete list of winners at the ACBL website:
www.acbl.org
Here were the questions and answers from the website:
1. Explain how one could win the Vanderbilt Cup twice in the same
year.
You can win the Vanderbilt Cup in bridge twice in the same
calendar year by winning the Vanderbilt Knockout Teams at the
ACBL's Spring NABC and, in Olympiad years, winning the World
Olympiad Teams, a World Bridge Federation event which also awards
the Vanderbilt Cup. Since the question did not specify that the
cup had to be won in bridge, credit also goes to those who
answered that you can win the Vanderbilt Cup in a car or yacht
race.
2. What is the claim to fame of the former Joel D. Gaines?
Joel D. Gaines is now known as Prince Joli Quentin Kansil. He
invented Bridgette, the bridge game for two, and he was co-editor
of The Official Rules of Card Games.
3. If Dagwood Bumstead played bridge with Charlie Brown, what
convention is most likely to be their favorite?
Dagwood and Charlie Brown would have preferred the Comic Notrump
overcall among all conventions.
4. What is the significance of Kalamazoo in bridge history?
The first duplicate boards were known as Kalamazoo trays.
5. Name the two former ACBL Presidents who have conventions named
after them.
There are three former ACBL presidents whose names are on
conventions: Joseph Ripstra (takeout over 1NT), Lew Mathe (Mathe
asking bids and Mathe versus strong 1C) and Bobby Wolff (Wolff
signoff).
6. In his latter years, this giant of bridge concentrated on
promoting world peace.
Ely Culbertson was the peacenik.
7. In which of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels was bridge a key
part of the plot?
Ian Fleming made bridge a part of the plot in the James Bond
thriller Moonraker.
8. This player's name is on two conventions although he developed
neither. Name him.
Sam Stayman developed neither Stayman (created by George Rapee)
nor Namyats (part of the Little Major system devised by Jeremy
Flint and Terence Reese).
9. Which famous bridge writer penned his first --- and arguably
best --- book as an "assignment" from Ira Corn?
Mike Lawrence wrote How to Read Your Opponents' Cards as an
assignment from Aces founder Ira Corn.
10. What did John Bennett, of the famous Bennett murder case, do
for a living?
John Bennett was a perfume salesman.
********************************************************
On Top of the World by Richard Pavlicek
"I'm on the -- top of the world, looking down on creation, and
the only explanation I can find" will appear in this new bidding
poll. Choose your call on these six problems from a past
tournament, and as a side challenge you're invited to guess when
and where it was held. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/7y81.htm
Results of the April play contest "The Worst Leading Man" (ending
April 30) will be posted May 4, 2004 at 21:00 GMT. For these,
and everything else related to the monthly polls and contests, go
to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
*************************************************************
Well, that's a wrap for this month. I know I have a family
graduation coming up, do you? Let me know so we can give your
kids/grandkids/relatives or even you the applause you deserve
for that tassel!
I hope you read in Sara's column about the book we are going
to share with one of you.....show your support for Fireside
and maybe get something to read!
Hugs....Janice
*************************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who
write for The Chat, we want to note that our other
commentators also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
Patricia/Fifee AndersonsCorner@charter.net
The lessons can be more affordable than you might
think, especially mentoring games. We think our
commentators give you your money's worth when you
choose private lessons, and they really value your
business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one what
you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
**************************************************************
We know that it isn't always easy to find a 'friendly' game.
We hope this new site will be a plus in your OKB experience
by helping our friends schedule games with each other.
Visit:
http://www.firesides.net/playdate.htm
and follow the directions to set up a table others can join, or
to join a game someone else has scheduled. You'll receive emails
notifying you as others join the same games.
If you wish to reserve a seat in one of the listed mentoring
games, which are supported by the people attending, we
suggest you do so, and also contact the mentoring commentator
for info.
We have tested this site, but we won't be surprised to hear
of a bug or two. Please let us know at kaltica@mts.net if
you encounter any problems serving, joining, or canceling a
game, or if you have any suggestions.
Have fun!
********************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program?
An event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of
us? A question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for
us to visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to
miss anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside,
it's easy now! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet,
here are some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has
developed to enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm
(Note that IGITSAP must be in CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
May Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, May 13, 6:00 P.M. and Saturday,
May 15, at 12:00 P.M. A low-key introduction
to the tourney experience, sponsored by Fifth Chair...
see www.fifthchair.org for more info on this and
their other services, including getting a mentor.
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sundays, 5:00 P.M. May 2, and 16.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at firesider@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically
in your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions.
After clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section.
Write an email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer
your questions.
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for this giggle:
Maxine speaks!!
· Maxine on "Driver Safety": "I can't use the cell phone in
the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."
· Maxine on "Life": "Life is like an oven. It burns my buns."
· Maxine on "Housework": "I do my housework in the nude. It
gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as
possible."
· Maxine on "Lawn Care": "The key to a nice looking lawn is a
good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."
· Maxine on "Body Piercing": "I'd get my tongue pierced, but I
still have a little bit of brain left in my head."
· Maxine on "the Perfect Man": "All I'm looking for is a guy
who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and
then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and
ready when needed."
· Maxine on "Work": "My performance at work has really
improved over the years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper
clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards."
· Maxine on "the Technology Revolution": "My idea of rebooting
is kicking somebody in the butt twice."
· Maxine on "Aging": "Take every birthday with a grain of
salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large
margarita."
========================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
Here, There and Everywhere
In the past month, I've played even more than the usual amount of
bridge, playing the 10 days at the Spring Nationals in Reno and
then zipping back home to play in the Zone Finals of the Canadian
National Teams here in Winnipeg, where our team wasn't in peak
form but managed to slog out a win. Then it was off to Gatlinburg
for America's biggest regional, where I played with my wife Sue
the entire week. The good news was that I managed to avoid making
any of the usual "wonder bids" the she so vehemently despises.
The bad news was that I once again ignored her clearcut
preference signal for diamonds. I tried to stave off the
criticism by protesting that I thought she wanted a diamond RING,
not for me to PLAY a diamond. I don't think that cut any mustard
with her so I decided not to interrupt her in mid-rant. It's
truly a wondrous sight to behold. We still managed to reach the
finals of a knockout teams where the deciding hand was a pretty
decent slam missed at our table and reached by our teammates.
Unfortunately, only an inferior play would have brought it home
as the percentage line failed and our guy was a math major in
university who knew his odds. Still, we had a great time playing
with Dan Korbel and Danny Miles, two youngsters in their twenties
who are going to be heard from in the future.
Returning home, we returned to action at a local sectional the
next weekend. I played the knockout teams and Open pairs with my
CNTC partner, Bob Todd. Then I reunited with Sue to play in the
final day Swiss teams. Bob and I had a good weekend, winning both
of our events, and Sunday with my wife was pretty exciting as we
beat several good teams on the road to six wins in eight matches.
You always get a fair number of interesting hands during the
course of a tournament, but the last month was replete with
bidding and defensive challenges in particular. We begin with the
following hand, that produced a huge swing in one of our knockout
matches in Gatlinburg. You hold as West, no one vulnerable:
S 4 H 65 D QJ864 C QJ632
The auction begins:
East South West North
pass pass pass 1S
pass 1NT* ?
RHO's 1NT was forcing for one round. The person with this
collection ventured an unusual 2NT for the minors. When I got
home the following week, I polled a number of my friends and
there was a 60-40 vote in favor of this action. Their opinion
notwithstanding, I think an unusual notrump with this hand is
totally absurd. What does it have to gain? Partner and RHO are
passed hands and lefty did not open 2C, so the opponents probably
have a game but nothing more. Partner can't have enough for a
five-level sacrifice to be profitable, and you won't likely be
able to pre-empt them out of anything. So the best-case result
from bidding will be a push or a small loss. And the worst-case
scenario? Well, LHO doubles and partner passes, showing no
preference between the minor suits. Do you get the sinking
feeling of impending doom? Well, now you soldier on with 3C and
opener passes, so you've cleared the first hurdle. Partner also
passes, but RHO puts the red card on the table with a gleeful
expression. The Ace of hearts is lead, and dummy hits with:
S KJ1085 H J1043 D 75 C 54
You decide at this point to concede four down for -800 but the
opponents cast a pitying glance your way and refuse to entertain
your bargaining ploy. The entire hand is:
East
S KJ1085
H J1043
D 75
North C 54 South
S AQ963 S 73
H A8 H KQ972
D AK93 D 102
C A7 West C K1098
S 4
H 65
D QJ864
C QJ632
The defense is merciless, beginning with the two majors suit aces
and a heart to South's Queen, followed by an orgy of defensive
overruffing in diamonds and hearts. Poor declarer was only able
to manage two tricks when the havoc was complete, for -1700. At
the other table, East never got a chance to commit hari-kari as
the North hand opened a flawed 2NT on his 5=2=4=2 distribution.
Since I have other hands in the article, I'll refrain from
venting my opinion on that choice of opening. At any rate, it
worked out just fine for us as our cohort no longer had an
unusual 2NT at his disposal and was obliged to pass. Oh, by the
way, did I tell you that this was the first board of the second
half in a match where East was UP 38 IMPs after the comparisons?
Kind of reminds me of the time when I was playing with Colin
"Kaltica" Ward in an OKB tourney and we racked up +1100, +790 and
+2210 on the first three boards. With our IMP score being +10.54
after the first two rounds, Colin felt that it was only sporting
to go -950 and -800 on the next round, never having been one to
handle prosperity very well.
Later on in the same match, we had another wild result, and this
time West held, no one vul:
S void H QJ964 D KQ84 C J752
RHO opens 1NT, so it's certainly not outlandish to compete, but
in what manner? She chose 2D, DON'T, showing diamonds and a
major. Double on her left, followed by two passes. Faced with a
quandary, East decided to retreat to the five-card heart suit.
LHO passed, as does partner, and now RHO doubles. A spade is led
and the entire hand is:
East
S K1083
H A72
D 7632
North C 104 South
S Q7652 S AJ94
H 3 H K1082
D A92 D J10
C Q983 West C AK6
S void
H QJ964
D KQ84
C J752
Note that LHO's double of 2D was a bit speculative, but a
reasonable choice given the state of the match. North knows his
side has at least 23 points and has a natural singleton heart
lead with the expectation of getting some ruffs. He was hoping
for a modest pickup for his side, but the actual result was
beyond his wildest expectations. A spade went to the eight and
nine, and declarer ruffed. Now a club went to the 10 and King,
and the Jack of diamonds was returned.. That was covered by the
Queen and Ace, and North returned a trump. East ducked, and South
took the King and returned a second trump. Winning on table,
declarer played another club, but RHO took the Ace and removed
dummy's last trump. South and East were now down to one trump
each, and declarer still hadn't established the diamonds. When
North got in, he played another spade and the roof fell in.
Declarer was held to a diamond and four trumps for -500 on
another partscore hand. 2D doubled would also have gone down and
West does get two heart ruffs on his intended lead. But it would
not have been a catastrophe as the defense gets three trumps, the
King of hearts and AK of clubs for down one. With this swing, the
match was now nip and tuck, and a few board later I went to the
whip yet again:
S Q108x H 10xx D Qxxx C xx
RHO opened a forcing 1C, neither side vul. I don't believe in
letting Precision bidders have a free run, so I tossed in a 1S
overcall. I grant you that in a less desperate situation I might
have held my tongue, but what the hey. LHO bid 1NT, showing 8+
points, and partner raised to 2S. Opener doubled, and I passed
confidently, daring LHO to sit it. After some deliberation, West
passed, and I was left to play 2S doubled. Well, apparently the
jig was up. A diamond was led and partner contributed the
following dummy:
S K9765 H QJ9x D void C K9xx
Yes, I did remember to say "Thank you" as I managed to escape for
down one with the opponents cold for 6D their way. "I was going
to bid a lot if I had to," explained partner, "But I thought I'd
see what happened first." Good thing my buddy Colin enlightened
her about the Killdeer coup a year or so ago. Saved my bacon on
this hand. For those of you unfamiliar with the vernacular, if
you want to be allowed to play in your game (or sacrifice),
rather than jump immediately to the desired contract, "limp" into
it reluctantly, so as to entice the opponents to double or pass
rather than bid.
Now for a defensive problem, with you in the South chair.
S A98643 H A106 D 764 C J
The auction develops thusly:
West North East South
pass pass 1C 1S
2H pass 2NT pass
3C pass 3NT pass
pass pass
You lead the 6 of spades and see the following dummy:
East
S 72
H J9854
D Q8
South (you) C AK93
S A98643
H A106
D 764
C J
Partner contributes the 10 and declarer wins the King. Now West
plays a heart and you follow low, dummy's 8 holding the trick,
with the 2 from North. Now a low heart from table, 7 from pard
and Q from declarer. Okay, what's the scoop?
First of all, who has the King of hearts? It has to be partner
for two reasons. Opener has never supported responder's suit, as
he surely would with KQx. Moreover, even IF declarer had that, he
would be playing the top cards from his hand to avoid blocking
the suit. No, partner has the missing heart card for sure. So why
hasn't he played it and returned your suit? The only reason is
because he started life with only one spade. Still, why is he so
reluctant to win his King of hearts? Well, possibly because he
needs it. Since there is no future in continuing spades and you
can see a good club suit on dummy, you have to change tacks and
shift to a diamond, since that's about the only hope the defense
has of beating the contract. Lo and behold, the entire hand is:
West
S 72
H J9854
D Q8
South C AK93 North
S A98643 S 10
H A106 H K72
D 764 D AJ1053
C J East C 10752
S KQJ
H Q3
D K92
C Q864
If partner had won the K of hearts immediately, he could not have
switched to diamonds without conceding a second trick in the suit
to declarer. For the defense to prevail, South has to be alert
enough to figure out the heart (and spade layouts) and that
should nudge us along the path to the diamond shift. Another
bidding triumph to conclude this month's grab-bag. There ARE
certain advantages to playing 2/1, despite what our SAYC apostle
Kaltica might contend. Consider for example the following
auction:
1S 2C
2H ?
and now responder is going to bid some number of spades. 4S is
obvious enough in any "Fast Arrival" partnership: support for
opener's suit but a minimum 2/1 with no slam interest. 2S, on the
other hand, is usually three-card support or longer, although it
could be on occasion a two-card preference. That leave a jump
below the game level to 3S. Rather eerily, I've talked to many
experts and there is no consensus about the exact meaning of the
bid. I myself prefer to use it as a definitive slam try with 17
or more points (or a great 16). It not only immediately
advertises a desire on responder's part to go slamming, but also
places some limitations on the 2S bid. So we have:
1S 2C
2H 4S
Responder has three-card spade support and a dead minimum
1S 2C
2H 2S
Here, the 2S bidder will have either a two-card preference or
outright support with a hand in the 14-16 point range.
1S 2C
2H 3S
This is a REALLY good hand of 17+ points that is quite interested
in slam. So, remaining with this auction, how does opener
continue? Let's define three qualities for opener's hand that
could be useful. 5 or more controls (A=2, K=1) would be a
positive feature. A high card in responder's club suit could be
quite important. Failing that, if opener's two suits were of good
quality, that is a redeeming feature. If opener has at least two
of three "good news" items, he should be cuebidding. If he has
NONE of these aspects, he should try to sign off in game. And
with ONE piece of good news, he can bid a "neutral" 3NT, mildly
discouraging but not totally hopeless. This brings us to a hand
that Sue and I had a nice auction on:
North (actual):
S KJxxx H AJxx D K9xx C void
North 2
S KQxxx H AKxx D Qxx C x
South
S A9x H Qx D AJ C AJ10xxx
North South North 2 South
1S 2C 1S 2C
2H 3S 2H 3S
4S pass 6S
On the actual bidding, I had four controls only, not great trumps
and a void in partner's suit. So I signed of in 4S, which is the
limit of the hand (trumps were 5-0. North 2 is still minimum, but
has at least two decent suits. So he bids 3NT, and cuebids hearts
over responder's encouraging 4C. The moving of the K of diamonds
over to the heart suit makes slam an excellent proposition.
So, in the words of Bugs Bunny, "Tthhhattts all, folks,
until next month.
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca)
for more information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Gail37 for these:
One Liners....
+ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
+ You are much too intelligent to be affected by flattery.
+ I'm so out of shape that whenever I go to the beach, all the
men dress me with their eyes.
+ If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
+ If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Simplex Signum Veritae
"Simplicity is the seal of the truth."
This is a good maxim to keep in mind when devising a
system with a new partner. KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid!) is
the modern rendering. Okay, but what do we mean by "simple"?
Simple to understand? Simple to learn? Simple to implement?
As we see as we study SAYC and, especially, 2/1-GF, simple
theory and simple practice may be two entirely different
things.
Question: What is the easiest thing to implement?
Answer: The status quo, since it requires no implementation!
It's easy to get us all breathing oxygen; we already
are! From this we discern that the fewer changes to existing
practice that we make, the better. The simplest system, then,
is the one that we've been playing all along. I can describe
the Valentines system in one tenth the verbiage as Standard
American ("SA"), but SA is deemed "simpler" since most of us
already understand it.
If this is so, why did the creators of SAYC make so many
changes to standard practice? Let's start with the most
salient. In previous versions of Standard American a two-over-
one response was forcing to 2NT and no further. Thus,
1S:2C:2NT was not forcing. 1S:2C:3C was less clear, but a
slight majority of players took it as non-forcing, since we've
reached (indeed, surpassed) 2NT.
SAYC went with the more modern "2-over-1 forcing to a
rebid by Responder" (unless Opener rebids at the game level or
higher). Thus, 1S;2C:2NT is forcing, since Responder hasn't
rebid. As for the confusion about whether or not 1S:2C:3C is
forcing, that is solved with one Damoclean stroke: Responder
hasn't rebid, so 3C is forcing. Period. By solving this
latter problem SAYC proved to be simpler to explain than
previous versions of SA.
Was this revolutionary? Not really. Other modern
systems were already adopting this "forcing to a rebid by
Responder" method. We might say, then, that this approach
already had a growing constituency. SAYC merely banked on:
1. The belief that this would be the wave of the future.
And, indeed, it was.
2. Existing players used to older SA would adapt.
Here lies the problem. Those who learned to play before
the 1980s remained either resistant to or ignorant of this sea
change in the approach force. Remember how, decades ago,
people were saying "never trust anyone over thirty"? Well,
those 30-year-olds are over 60 now--and we still can't trust
them! That's right. Ask any of these old time bridgeplayers
to play SAYC and they'll say "Yep"...and then proceed to play
pre-SAYC "forcing-to-2NT" SA!
Thus, what is easy to describe (e.g. "2-over-1 promises a
rebid") is not always easy to establish.
Other SAYC novelties involve methods which don't have a
constituency now, never did, and never will. Here are three
examples:
1. Stayman on, transfers off opposite Partner's 1NT overcall.
Say what? Why? Everyone plays either system ON or OFF.
2. 1NT:2S forces 3C. Period.
Again, why not use 1NT:2S:2NT to show better Diamonds, as
the original Jacoby Transfer method describes? Now that
we have the wheel, why re-invent the log roller?
3. 1NT:2C:2H:2S showing 5-4 in the majors, non-forcing.
No one plays this. 2S is either a ST TOMAS slam try (for
most expert pairs) or, if 1NT:2NT is artificial,
1NT:2C:2H:2S is a natural invite with 4 Spades. But 5-4
in the majors, non-forcing? You gotta be kidding! With a
4-4 Heart fit, why stumble around looking for a 5-2, 5-3
or even 5-4 Spade fit via a NON-FORCING 2S bid?
In espousing these unsupported peculiarities, the authors
of SAYC aimed for simplicity but created only confusion. Even
if both players have read the SAYC notes assiduously, they
still have to guess whether their partner is embracing such
eccentricities too.
Don't get me wrong. Given that they are only 8 pages, the
SAYC notes remain one of the most comprehensive system
descriptions we will find--much better than virtually any 2/1-
GF detailing. My point is that when making such sweeping
changes to standard practice without regard for "bridge
sense", few things can be more complicated than simplicity. :)
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net)
for more information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Subject: Actual answering machine answers
Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the
world famous International Institute of Answering Machine
Answers.
(From a machine at a college dorm:) A is for academics, B is for
beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a
message.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you
are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough
money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a
female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly
the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable
maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of
it, his arms wind milling at incredible speeds! Will he make it
in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath
sounded. Thou must leave a message.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you
can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." beep "Hello. I am
David's answering machine. What are you?"
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your
message to myself with one of these magnets."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just
eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls.
Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message,
just hold it up to the phone.'
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub,
and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their
office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with
me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
"This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name,
your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and
I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right
now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call
you back."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we
probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel
very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your
ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will
feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a
message."
=============================================================
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