|
Fireside Chat
|
|
FIRESIDE CHAT APRIL 2004
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Fifee's SolidGold
Dealing With Dann
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the April, 2004 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide
Chat" newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@bellsouth.net,
or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication
and caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking
of taking private lessons, paying a professional to play
tourneys with you, getting involved in a group session
mentoring program... most, if not all, of our commentators
and contributors to this newsletter are available for those
services. Just think how much easier it is to learn
from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2004 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
Hi everybody :-) Happy April!
We've had a busy March -- starting out with a very successful
Gator Tourney, and ending with the Nationals in Reno -- lots
to read about in Moogal's FireSide Log!
We want to thank everyone who was involved with the Gator --
we had lots of fun with it this year. We hope you can join us
next year and make it even more fun for everyone! The more,
the merrier :) Read all about it in Moogal's column.
A big CONGRATULATIONS to Bill (Wintaka) and Sue (Sam143) --
read Moogal's column for details on their wedding.
Etsand entertaining a woman he met on the internet?
Melody hob-nobbing with the big shots in Reno?
New, exciting news about OKb tourneys?
Read all about it in Moogal's column!
Is this starting to sound like it's got a theme? We try to
keep you up to date on as much of "what's happening" as we can
-- but of course we need your input to be able to do that!
So, keep us in mind when you have news to share with the rest
of the FireSide folks... Moogal loves it when you send her
news to put in her column!
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for these:
Cooking Terms
Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly
crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.
Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated
and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste
exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and
squid.
Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing
ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make
a dish the dog won't eat.
Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since
children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name
is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time
before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the
food is put in, as well as when it is removed.
Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky
pieces of meat and poultry.
Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the
principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food
placed within the cooking compartment.
Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered
by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a
particular food.
=================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
A Hand from the Gator
We are schooled from early on that the best fit in all of
bridge is the 4-4, better than 5-3! While they both have 8
trumps, under normal conditions the 4-4 gives you greater
flexibility to determine which hand will be taking the ruffs
and which hand will draw the trumps. Also, you will be able to
discard two losers on the uneven side suit if you play in the
4-4 fit rather than the 5-3 or even 5-4 fit. You always want
to play in the most even suit as the trump suit.
Here is a hand that helped determine the outcome of our side's
Gator victory in an early round. You pick up:
S 94
H A3
D AKJ2
C KQ1092
You open 1C and hear a 1S overcall. Then 1NT from partner and
a 2S raise on your right. Back to you now. There are several
choices; the player holding these cards bid 3D, certainly a
reasonable action showing extra values with 5 clubs and 4
diamonds. Now it is up to his partner to place the contract in
the correct denomination. Partner held
S Q62
H J2
D Q1043
C A873
Partner should remember the basic premise and raise diamonds
to the cold diamond game, instead of jumping to 5C which failed
by one trick. The uneven suit, clubs, would have allowed for a
discard of the heart loser if you play in diamonds.
An important concept to remember: play in the most even
combined trump suit for two reasons --- flexibility and
discards.
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
==============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Dloye for these:
Groaners
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't
serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, get married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was Brilliant.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, One says to the other; "Does
this taste funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing "the green green grass of home." "That
sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not
unusual."
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly; "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't
believe you," said Dolly. "It's true exclaimed Daisy, No bull!"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes, I'm positive..."
A man takes his Rotweiler to the vet and says, "My dog is
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well, says
the vet, let's have a look at him." He picks the dog up and
examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally ,he says
"I'm going to have to put him down." "Why?, because he's
cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
I went to get some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
I went to a seafood disco rave last week.....and pulled a mussel.
Two Eskimos sitting in a Kayak were chilly; but when they lit a
fire the craft sank, proving once and for all that you can't have
your Kayak and heat it too.
===========================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are thrilled to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting it
for us.
From The 2004 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: N/S North
Dlr: S S KQT6
H 932
D KQT8
C A7
South
S A4
H A64
D AJ96
C KQ85
West North East South
1D
2H Dbl* P 3NT**
P 6NT all pass
*Negative
**18-19 HCP
Opening Lead HK
When South suggested 18-19 HCP and a heart stopper with his
rebid, North might have looked for a diamond slam but fearing
a heart ruff, he jumped to 6NT.
West leads the HK. There are eleven tricks on top with
definite possibilities for twelve. Plan the play.
********************
S KQT6
H 932
D KQT8
C A7
S 952 S J873
H KQJT75 H 8
D 5 D 7432
C T32 C J964
S A4
H A64
D AJ96
C KQ85
Contract: 6NT Lead: HK
*******************
There is no suit to be developed; you have eleven tricks on
top with lively potential for a twelfth in spades (finding the
SJxx or finessing against SJxxx) or some chance to apply some
pressure to East if he is long in both black suits, as the
auction suggests.
If your intention is to squeeze East in the black suits, it is
essential to lose a trick to rectify the count. The easiest
way to do that is to duck the opening heart lead. You don't
have to know a great deal about squeezes to do this, but the
idea is to put yourself in a position in which you need to
take all the rest of the tricks that you need for your
contract. Lose one if you need to get to twelve, two if you
need to reach eleven, and so on.
West continues with the HT and East discards a diamond. Win
the HA and cash the four diamond tricks. Play on whichever
black suit East discards on the fourth diamond (he will
discard a club on this layout because he can be sure that a
spade will be fatal). If the fourth club is not good, cash
the spades from the top.
As is sometimes the case on hands of this type, you could also
make 6NT on an endplay by winning the first heart, cashing the
diamonds, the SA and the three high clubs, East following to
everything. When you exit with your losing club East wins and
must lead to dummy's SKQT.
********************
Hand and analysis by Eric Kokish and Beverly Kraft, courtesy
of the Daily Bridge Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc.,
Brampton, ON, Canada. Reprinted with permission. (Special
thanks to Lee Daugherty and Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for these:
Oxymorons
41. Even odds
40. Still life
39. Unbiased opinion
38. Modern History
35. State worker
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. Soft rock
20. Amtrak schedule
19. Military intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. "Now, then ..."
16. Jumbo Shrimp
15. Passive aggression
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
09. Computer security
08. Political science
07. Tight slacks
06. Definite maybe
05. Pretty ugly
04. Rap music
03. Working vacation
02. Holy War
01. Microsoft Works
============================================================
FIFEE'S SOLIDGOLD
=================
How to Be a Good Declarer
By Patricia Anderson
We all tend to play too fast when declaring! Next time you are
declarer, stop, give yourself a minute to think, and ask yourself
some important questions before you play to the first trick:
1. How many tricks do I have (winners)?
Count your winning tricks first. Then ask yourself:
2. How many tricks do I need?
For example: My contract is 2S, so I need 8 tricks to make 2S.
3. Where can I develop more winners?
Can I finesse, endplay or squeeze my opponents to take more
tricks? Is my contract in jeopardy if I take that tempting
finesse? How many losers do I have if the opponents get in? We
must be extremely concerned with this at NT after the opponents
lead your weak suit. You may have the option of *holding up* -
taking the first trick(s) to cut off communication between
opponents. You may need to plan finesses so that the threatening
opponent does not gain entry.
4. Look for Clues: You can read many clues from opening lead and
the bidding.
-Build imaginary hands for your opponents. Think about how many
points they have for their bids and how many points they have
because they did NOT bid, too. Give them 13 cards. Think about
how many of each suit they might have. This is an important tool.
You can revise as play develops. It is very hard to focus and
count hands at first, but if you practice every hand, you will
become good at it! Counting will become second nature
eventually!
-An opponent who passes and does not open the bidding will not
hold 13 HCP. This is obvious but it is easy to forget this fact
unless you are looking for clues and counting!
-If one opponent overcalls, you can start to see shape of his
hand and minimum HCP, too.
-Did his partner raise? Was it a weak raise? Did his partner
cuebid? Did his partner bid a new suit? What would we know
about support then? All these bids help us to build a picture of
the opponent's hands.
-Opening lead can give many clues, too. If an opponent leads a
low card in a suit, usually he does not have the Ace. He
usually will lead small from an honor, though. So you can give
him a missing honor!
For example:
Your Contract is 3NT and you get S4 lead
Dummy: S KT73
Declarer: S A92
Can you see that you will make 3 or maybe 4 Spade tricks with
this lead if your opponent was leading 4th best?
-If opponent leads a King, he usually has Ace or Queen with it.
-If he leads a Queen, this usually shows the Jack. These clues
make it easier to count each of your opponent's high card points
and distribution.
-If you think your opponent is leading high from a doubleton, it
is easy to add yours and partner's holdings and then give
opponents an estimated number of the suit led.
You may have to revise your idea of your opponent's hands as the
play unfolds! But counting the hands gives you quite an edge!
Just remember to *think* at the table and change your estimates
when the opponents show something you had not counted in your
original projections. If you can focus and count to 13 in every
suit on every hand you will be a great player!
5. OK, now we have examined the clues and now: What do I need to
do first? Plan your play. Besides what we have already mentioned,
think about how many entries you have to dummy or to your hand
and what you need to accomplish with those entries. Don't waste
entries! Think about what you want to do. Most importantly,
don't play a hand blindly. *Think* at the table! When your plan
gets derailed, develop an alternative plan!
All of this should be done before you play to trick 1! So take
your time and think about the answers to these questions, examine
the clues and plan the play before you play any cards! And best
of luck at the table :-)
********************
Patricia Anderson, fifee, is available for instruction, bid em
ups, or online playing. If you want to improve your game, or if
you are in a slump and need a bridge doctor, call her at
(304)822-5358.
============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to PamA for this giggle:
Two guys play bridge all afternoon at the club and adjourn for
dinner. They go over every hand, dutifully writing on every
napkin not to mention their tablecloth. They go back, play
another session, and adjourn to the same restaurant for a late
snack. Again they start to go over the hands.
Finally, one says: "Bill, I can't take it any more, can't we talk
about something else, anything else, like politics, the movies,
sports, sex?
Bill says, "Sex? I had sex diamonds to the king queen......"
============================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
=================
Ok sports fans, doing another request.
Responding to a Strong Artificial Forcing (SAF) 2 Club opening
(my way!-ask for it you get my style!)
2 Diamonds - waiting - promising an Ace or King and creating a
game force (don't get goofy with SAF 2C openers!)
2 Hearts - direct NEGATIVE - NO ACE or King, non forcing -
tends to be maxed at 7hcp's in Q's and J's.
2 Spades - Positive and natural - Promises 2 of top 3 in the
suit and 5 cards(or longer).
2 NT - Positive and showing Hearts (5 plus) - again promises 2
of top 3 honours.
3 Clubs - Positive - showing as before 2 of top 3 and 5+ in
length - ALSO!! promises an outside King or Ace.
3 Diamonds - same as 3 Clubs.
The reason we promise extra controls for 3 of a minor - we
have preempted our own auction to show this hand. To take the
extra level away from our side, we need to get a good picture
across to partner and not worry about perhaps getting too high
before we can stop in NT or some playable spot like 2 Clubs -
3 Clubs or Diamonds has taken a whole level of bidding away
from our side.
The most common 2 Club openers are either strong, Balanced or
a major suit oriented hand, so we need to let pard normally
show why he opened 2 Clubs! And we wait with 2 Diamonds
unless we can show a specific hand to pard pretty fast.
This leads to 3 Hearts or Spades; A weak jump shift - we
promise 6-7 in our bid suit in length and also we show an
immediate negative response - no ace/king for this call just a
long suit and pard can then place the contract.
Now for the "but what do we do with 8 - 12 points and no Ace
/King?" We respond 3NT!!
We normally don't like jumping in response to take space away,
but assuming pard is balanced then no real wrong side to play
the contract from, and if pard is strong and suited they
simply place the contract over 3 NT.
A few examples to fully develop the idea!
We hold:
S- AQ8732
H- 632
D- 8
C- Q43
If pard was kind enough to open 2C, we respond a cheery 2
spades! (note if the suit was hearts we would have a positive
also, but if a minor we would start with the waiting 2D.)
Now again pard is kind enough to open 2C:
S- 32
H- KQ974
D- 432
C- 432
Again its a positive - worst holding we can have but damn the
torpedos!! 2NT is our response! (Note if the suit was either
minor we start with a waiting 2 Diamonds - since no outside
Ace or King - so as to save space for our auction.)
Also with:
S-A42
H-AKQ98743
D-4
C-Q2
We start with 2NT planning on 7NT later (most likely spot if
pard has a 2c opener!) (Note if our suit was a minor instead
of hearts this would still qualify as a positive.)
Now for our more likely holdings:
S-Q543 S-J8 S-QJ53
H-1093 H-7653 H J42
D-J93 D-108643 D-QJ8
C-Q92 C-97 C-975
All of the above qualify as DIRECT and IMMEDIATE NEGATIVE
2 Heart bids!
A 2d waiting hand is:
S-K432 S-32 S-KJ10 S-643
H-Q92 H-K96 H-KJ9863 H-Q8
D-97643 D-108753 D-5 D-A863
C-5 C-532 C-Q42 C-KQJ5
As long as the hand contains an ace or king and doesn't fit
the criteria set out for our other responses it's 2d, getting
out of partner's way to describe their hand!
Hopefully this helps to remove any confusion (note that all
responses are alertable!)
********************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m.
OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: pspeard@telusplanet.net
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for these:
Proverbs!
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave
each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked
them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Their insight may surprise you.
Better to be safe than....................Punch a kid bigger than
you
Strike while the .........................Bug is close
Never underestimate the power of..........Termites
You can lead a horse to water but.........how?
Don't bite the hand that................. looks dirty
No news is................................impossible
A miss is as good as a....................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new............math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll.........stink in the morning
Love all, trust...........................me
The pen is mightier than the..............pigs
An idle mind is...........................The best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's...............pollution
Happy the bride who.......................gets all the presents
A penny saved is..........................not much
Two's company, three's....................The Musketeers
Don't put off till tomorrow what..........you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.......you have
to blow your nose
None are so blind as......................Stevie Wonder
Children should be seen and not...........spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed.............get new batteries
You get out of something what you.........see pictured on the box
When the blind lead the blind.............get out of the way
And the favorite:
Better late than..........................pregnant
=============================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
NEW DAILY TOURNAMENT SCHEDULE:
Effective April 10th.... 13 Minis & 5 Combos daily! More IMP
games.
ALL tourneys are now Stratified: A (default), B or C.
You can view the remodeled PondPoint award system by
visiting:
http://www.okbridge.com/membersclub/tourneys/pondpoints.php3
When you renew your OKbridge membership, you now receive
tournaments for free. To renew, simply select the Renew button
on the OKbridge website or contact Member Services at 1-888-
OKBRIDGE.
Effective April 10th:
6:00 am Mini-MP table (Mini-Imp on Saturday and Monday)
9:00 am Mini-IMP table *scoring change* (Mini-MP on
Saturday and Monday)
11:00 am Dual Combo-Mini: play in one or both minis, but
to win a 24-board Combo option, swim in the same
sea with the same partner...
"Mediterranean Sea" IMP Combo-Mini:
/ 11:00 am Mini-IMP table
\ 12:30 pm Mini-IMP table
"North Sea" MP Combo-Mini (new):
/ 11:00 am Mini-MP table (new)
\ 12:30 pm Mini-MP table (new)
2:00 pm Mini-MP *scoring change* (Mini-Imp Saturday and Monday)
4:00 pm Dual Combo-Mini: play in one or both minis, but to
win a 24-board Combo option, swim in the same sea
with the same partner...
"Atlantic Ocean" IMP Combo-Mini (new):
/ 4:00 pm Mini-Imp table (new)
\ 5:30 pm Mini-Imp table (new)
"Coral Sea" MP Combo-Mini:
/ 4:00 pm Mini-MP table
\ 5:30 pm Mini-MP table
7:00 pm "Pacific Ocean" Combo-Mini (not dual):
/ 7:00 pm Mini-Imp table *scoring change*
(Mini-MP Saturday and Monday)
\ 8:30 pm Mini-Imp table *scoring change*
(Mini-MP Saturday and Monday)
You can look for a partner at the unmanned table "TourPard",
which is always open. You and your partner can then sign in by
moving over to the table indicated as "Mini-IMP" or "Mini-MP".
**************************************************************
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Thu Mar 11 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/moogal 3.91 12
Thu Mar 11 11:00 AM Combo
Rank Team Score Boards
1 kaltica/moogal 1.79 24
Sun Mar 14 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 rambam/todd 4.24 12
Tue Mar 23 09:00 AM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 eitan/tuna 72.14 12
Sun Mar 28 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 nurit/seawind 4.10 12
Wed Mar 31 12:30 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/moogal 3.01 11
There are now 12 tourneys a day, plus combo results, it's just
not possible for me to check each one....so if you win a
tourney, let me know! We want everyone's name up in lights!
****************************************************************
NOVICE MENTOR TOURNEYS
Congrats to our winners of the two Novice-Mentor tourneys this
month.
And well done to all our top finishers:
Thu Mar 11 06:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 andrew/charlte2 70.25 10
2 juliebt/wendell 62.75 10
3 audither/bertie 55.00 10
4 PCharles/star7 52.25 10
5 PollyE/Shade 51.50 10
6 DavidRG/waldorf 50.56 9
Mentors and novices, join us this month on the 8th
and on the 17th - email Sandra at sandree@attbi.com
if you would like to find a partner ahead of time.
We'll do our best to match you up! I promise
you a fun game.
****************************************************************
FIRESIDE'S MENTOR CUP GAME
Our March winners are:
03-14-2004 TEAM GAUS271: Gaus271, Mbar, Judydee & Toddy
Because of scheduling involving the Gator and my trip to
California, there was only one game this month. Please join
us next Sunday, April 4 for our next game!
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and
lists of all our top placing stars. To get on the email
reminder list for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com
- all welcome!
****************************************************************
Fireside sends it sympathy to David (DAVIDRG) and to his
wife, Ann, who both lost their fathers this past month. I can
only imagine what a difficult month it was. I hope it helps
to know that your friends here grieve with you both. May
their memories be a comfort and a blessing to you.
At the same time, we send them our good wishes for an easy
time as David and Ann prepare for a move from California to a
new home in Las Vegas. We hope the settling in process goes
well!
****************************************************************
We wish a speedy recovery to Laurie (BAGEL27) who had surgery
this past week. Hopefully she is home recuperating by the
time you read this, and we look forward to seeing her back
online soon! A big Fireside get-well from all your friends
here, Laurie!
****************************************************************
Our 2004 GATOR was a huge success again! We hope those of you
who participated or watched enjoyed it!
Of course, we have nothing but gratitude for the OKB stars who
took two days out of their busy schedules to support our
efforts. Because of you we are able to continue to provide
quality bridge education to our eager students. A huge thank
you to:
DCORN, TUNA, PAMA, DAFFYDOC, SEAWIND, MUGWUMP
Also, our sincerest thanks to the owners, who use this event
to support us!
For the final report, here is what Colin wrote to our
participants:
"CONGRATULATIONS, TEAM POOKA!
"Well, the finish was much more exciting than the score (Pooka
60, Tuna 43) might suggest. With four boards left Tuna was
down a mere TWO IMPs, by my count, and with 2 more boards was
still within seven. Sheesh, had I not misread an auction and
misbid 3NT we might still be playing the final! Oh, well. :)
"We have our first two-time winner: DLOYE, along with NANCOR,
owns her second winning team in three years! Does she know
how to pick 'em, or what?
"It was great fun. We'd like to thank all the owners and
celebrity players for making it all possible.
"See you next year!"
Colin
GATOR
*****
Scores: Round #1
DaffyDoc 17 vs 19 Bridgboy 8 boards
DaffyDoc 19 vs 8 Fredw3 8 boards
Bridgboy 7 vs 33 Fredw3 8 boards
Tuna 21 vs 22 Seawind 8 boards
Tuna 25 vs 20 PamA 8 boards
Seawind 28 vs 8 PamA 8 boards
Wintaka 30 vs 12 Fifee 8 boards
Wintaka 13 vs 39 Mugwump 8 boards
Fifee 8 vs 11 Mugwump 8 boards
Pooka 60 vs 49 DCorn 20 boards
Pooka wrought some revenge on DCorn for last year's
Gator, so he inherits DCorn. In the last 3-way Fifee
lost both matches, so Wintaka and Mugwump move on.
Normally, Fifee would go to Mugwump, since they won
both matches, but Mugwump had already absorbed Kaltica
(due to no shows) so Fifee will go to Wintaka's team.
Five of the remaining 6 survived. PamA lost both
her matches so her team was picked up by Seawind.
Thus, the scores for Round #2 were:
Mugwump 48 vs Bridgboy 85
DaffyDoc 48 vs Wintaka (& Fifee) 71
Tuna 62 vs Fredw3 53
Pooka (& DCorn) 82 vs Seawind (& PamA) 21
No cliffhangers, for sure! Now for our semi-final:
Pooka 68 vs Wintaka 33
Tuna 89 vs Bridgboy 24
This left us with the following exciting finish:
Pooka 60 vs Tuna 43
Wintaka Bridgboy
Seawind Mugwump
Dcorn Fredw3
Thus, the final standings were:
1st. Pooka - Owners: Nancor and DLoye
2nd. Tuna - Owners: Bobowen and Imogene
3rd. Wintaka - Owners: SAM143
4th. Seawind
5th. DCorn
CONGRATULATIONS to the Winners!
http://www.firesides.net/gator.htm
****************************************************************
WEDDING BELLS FOR BILL AND SUE
On March 13, 2004, Sue (SAM143) and Bill (WINTAKA) walked down
the aisle! From all accounts it was a joyful day for all in
attendance and we at Fireside are just so happy for them! Bill
has always been special to me, and since meeting Sue I have
been so touched by the love they have for each other. I am
just delighted to be writing this.
If you would like to see some pictures, go to:
ftp://ftp.cc.umanitoba.ca/pub/todd/wedding/
and click on the icon for allpics.html (it may take a while to
load)
Before heading off to their honeymoon at the Reno nationals,
Bill warmed a lot of hearts with his words at the wedding:
"As usual, when Colin makes a speech about me, I have mixed
emotions. One is a feeling of joyful, unrestrained laughter.
The other is similar to one that you bridge players have
experienced at the table when he gets away with one of his
outrageous psyches. That reaction is, of course, "One day,
buddy, when you are least expecting it......." However, the
only comment I'll make is one frequently used by our orator
himself, and that is "Ya done good, Colin."
"Although I've been at several weddings, I was eternally
curious about what the difference would be if I were one of
the leading actors instead of being a member of the entourage
or an onlooker. My experience is twofold. One is that in the
days leading up to the happy event, we do and say at lot of
things that are normally quite foreign to us. I'll get to the
particulars of that a bit later. The other is that it's very
much an occasion to be thankful. On the one hand, thankful for
meeting someone that want to share your joys, triumphs and
sorrows with for the rest of your days. To have found that
spark you always knew was there but needed to be lit so that
it would burn eternally. In meeting Sue, I've been able to
experience those feelings. I'm thankful also for the many
relatives and friends that are with us, each of who've
contributed in their own way to the joining of two lives
today.
"Of course, in any wedding, there are busy preparations, but
much of the groundwork is done many years before. Of course,
I'm referring to our families, who have nourished our spirit
and have in countless ways helped us to prepare for this
moment. Most of the time, they knew when to offer guidance and
when to back off, but always their just being there was a
supreme comfort to us.
"My mother passed away seven years ago, and one of my regrets
is that she can't be here with us today. When I was in my late
teens and early twenties, I'd tell her about the girls I liked
and she'd just nod. I guess she knew that each of these
momentous occasions was a passing fancy, as they always turned
out to be. She also told me that she had someone picked out
for my wife. I'd always query Mom about who it was, but her
response was that she wasn't going to draw me a roadmap and
that it would all happen when the time was ripe. I often
wondered in the back of my mind about her "chosen one', who it
was and how her life unfolded. It's quite possible she didn't
exist, and that it was Mom's way of getting me jump-started,,
since I had other pursuits and interests. If romance were a
horse race, I'd always be the last one out of the gate, and
perhaps she was despairing of me ever getting the "itch to be
hitched". If I got the idea that she had my life all planned
out for me, maybe I'd have the usual rebellious teenage
attitude and get the ball rolling myself.
"My sister Susan and I had the usual tumultuous relationship
that siblings have in their formative years. As we grew into
adulthood, the frequent jousts, arguments and finger-pointing
matured as we did into a deep and abiding love and friendship.
After years of false starts in the romance department, some of
which I embellished to get her off my back, she naturally was
a bit skeptical when I told her about meeting Sue. Her
response was, "Bill, is this real or just a figment of your
imagination?" When they met a few weeks later, all I can say
is that it was one of the few occasions that I recall at which
my sister was nonplused and relatively speechless.
"My dad was the epitome of the "strong, silent type", which was
the sole option available for the two of us in a household
where most of the talking was done by my mother and sister.He
was a particular inspiration to me, not so much in words but
in the way he approached life. He is a giver in every sense of
the word, and never expressed a negative thought or opinion.
Unfailingly optimistic, he'd always persevere no matter what
the circumstance. He's been a guiding light for me that I've
tried in my own small way to emulate through the course of my
life. Thank you, Dad.
"Finally, I'd like to say a few words about my wife, Sue. Love
is hard to describe, it's a bunch of little somethings that
always bring a smile to your face, and that's exactly the way
it is with her. We already have a couple of expressions that
we like to use with each other. Her favourite is my
"piddling", which most of you probably understand, since I'm a
man of bountiful ideas and sparse action. In my time with
her, I've found that "road rage" is an expression that is not
confined to the driver of a vehicle. With her in the car, it's
more the passenger than the driver that gives vent to this
feeling. Once, in January, I had just passed the intersection
on Fermor Ave and St Mary's Road when she cried out "Slow
down, there's a red light coming up!!!" I scanned vainly for a
red light and then finally realized she was talking about the
one on St Anne's Road, twelve blocks away. "Sue," I
remonstrated, "There are GALAXIES that are closer than that
red light." "I don't care, " she shot back, "Start hitting the
brakes right now, mister." Ah, a glimpse into the married
life. In the day before the wedding, we both showed signs of
our nervousness. I only piddled for ten minutes and she made
just one adverse comment about my driving.
"A Neil Diamond song has always resonated for me whenever I
look at Sue. "I thought love was only true in fairy
tales......meant for someone else but not for me........love
was out to get me...that's the way it seemed
....disappointment haunted all my dreams." That pretty much
described my life for most of my adulthood. However, Neil's
tune speaks to the shining moment where everything changes.
"Then I saw her face....now I'm a believer ......not a trace
of doubt in my mind......I'm in love, now I'm a believer and I
couldn't leave her if I tried....."
"Thank you, Sue, my love, and all of you that are here tonight
to share in our happiness."
***************
If you'd like to send the newlyweds a card
with your good wishes here's the address:
Sue and Bill Treble
3-1050 Moncton Ave
Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada R2K1Z1
****************************************************************
HOUSTON
At the end of February I finally got on the plane for a long
awaited yearly jaunt to Houston to play with Eric (ETSAND) in
their regional. This year we were playing two days of teams --
and my teammates are three younger good-looking guys, life is
good! :)
You all know Eric....the other two are MURAT (a newly married
20-something who looks so young on his OKB icon I asked Eric
if his mother had to pick him up from the evening session) and
Ken (Ken_B), another local friend of Eric. Each time I go,
Eric does the BEST job of finding pleasant teammates with the
requisite sense of humor. A special congrats to Ken for
recently achieving Life Master -- the only one on our team!
The night I arrive, we have been invited out to dinner by John
(JHM), with his wife and his bridge partner who also is from
out of town. Dinner was fabulous, and we enjoyed a few laughs
in preparation for the days ahead. At dinner, Eric's wife Ann
told us the story of mentioning to a friend that she had to
head home to straighten up for a visitor (me). Who was
coming, she was asked? "Oh, a woman Eric met on the internet"
:))
Saturday morning we took a side trip to the local museum on
the way to the tournament. Eric knew I wouldn't want to miss
the current exhibit, "The History of Chocolate" :)
A few highlights from the tournament itself....we played in
Flight A, and while we didn't win many matches, we weren't
last! Against a few of the better teams we managed to win 3
boards and push some, a win in my mind! Seeing the blissful
faces of our teammates playing at a table against Fred
Gitelman and Eric Rodwell was worth the trip! Eric and the
new ACBL Prez Bruce Reeve discovered they were both Wake
Forrest grads, and Mildred Breed was just soooo nice. She did
point out that my table presence could use a bit of work when
I became flustered winning a trick with a 5, when I was trying
to duck :))
A special treat was meeting Rick (TXBRIDGE) who couldn't stay
but made a trip over to meet us. Having seen my pic online,
he only had to ask 3 or 4 blond woman if they were "moogal"
before hitting the right one. :) He's a real sweetheart, and
I am so glad he made it over to the playing site, however
briefly. Thanks Rick!
It was a wonderful trip, and I am looking forward to next
year!
Take a look at the pictures at:
http://www.attcanada.net/~andre55.msn/Houston04.htm
Here's what Eric has to say:
"When I meet other bridge players where I live I often suggest
that they try and play online sometime. The convenience, the
excellent hand records with multiple comparisons as well as
choices of diverse opponents and systems make online bridge a
great alternative to some of the local venues. However, if you
are reading this newsletter, it is ample proof that you are
already convinced. For those that have not yet tried online
bridge, the frequent response to my suggestion is that "I
prefer to play against real people." Often at that point my
recruiting zeal wanes as I realize the gap between where they
are and where I am suggesting they go may just be too great to
overcome. On OKB there have been so many partners and
opponents that have become friends that my idea of "real
people" no longer includes only those people that share the
same immediate space as I do. Yet even in that context, I can
certainly appreciate that the chance to get together with
"real people" and play at a face-to-face tourney does offer
some special rewards.
"Over the past few years I have been fortunate to have Jan
(MOOGAL) come to Houston in the Spring for a major tournament.
The ACBL does a great job organizing and producing
tournaments. In the matchpoint pair games, the OKB experience
usually translates rapidly into some level of comparative
success as the masterpoint stratification awards often
compares the OKBer's to those with less experience. At the
same time, there are matchpoint games open to all comers and
one is likely to come up against all grades of competition
along the way. In contrast, in the knockout events the ACBL
structure may translate poorly for those coming from OKB. It
is often difficult to play against those of equal experience
in the knockouts due to the bracketing which is done entirely
by masterpoints which the OKBer's lack. For a challenging
teamgame the best alternative is often the stratified Swiss
events where all comers are pooled together and teams tend to
find their own level.
"This year Jan came for the February regional. Last year we had
played in three sessions of Swiss and enjoyed some modest
success against modest competition. This year we increased the
ante and decided to play in Flight A. Our teammates, Murat and
Ken_b, local engineers that also play on OKB agreed to the
plan. In the first round we drew a tough team with Bart
Bramley, recent winner of the Barry Crane award for the yearly
top masterpoint total and Fred Gitelman's wife, Sherri. Their
team eventually team finished second among 19 teams in the
event. Our teammates did not recognize their opponents until
they got home that night and saw the picture of one of them
(Sherri) on the cover the ACBL Bridge Bulletin for this month.
Although we lost, of the 9 boards in that round we pushed 3
and won 2. Later in the day we drifted down to in level and
managed to increase our winning percentages.
"In the Swiss format the next day is a new day. We started off
with an easier draw and garnered a blitz win. Opponents bid an
excellent grand slam that went down on a bad trump break when
declarer guessed wrong on which side might be long in trumps.
At the other table, my hand had made a trashy two suited
takeout, so the successful play was obvious. In the second
round we played against a friendly pair, the ACBL president,
Bruce Reeves, and Mildred Breed, the eventual winners. The
match was tight except for one hand where I missed a good 6D,
which is often costly at imps. In the third match we tied
another local team despite the fact that they found a good
grand. If I had had the fortitude to double this auction
(P)-1C-(1H)-1S; (P)-2C-(P)-2S; (P)-2N-(P)-3S, when holding S-
KTxx we would have won. It was against a husband-wife team and
I should have been more confident in interpreting their
strained facial expressions as more antagonistic than
constructive.
"The fifth match of the day was great fun. We played the
Meckwell team. Our teammates drew Eric Rodwell and Fred
Gitleman. We played Marc Jacobus and their sponsor. We pushed
2 boards, won 3 and lost 3 against them. The decisive board
was Qx AKxx AKx AJxx opposite AKJxxx Q Jx Kxxx. Jan and I bid
2N:3H:3S:4C:4D:4H:5C:6C. Sadly, Jan discovered a 5-0 trump
split. Of course, Rodwell found 7S and the opening leader was
the one short in clubs. [Ed. note: I told Eric he was
permitted to mention this hand in this article, and then I
*never* wanted to see or hear about it again! :) -- Jan]
"Overall it was exciting tourney. A Fireside friend, Rick,
(TXBRIDGE) stopped by before one session to say hello. Thanks
to Andre55's online pictures Rick had little trouble finding
Jan in the crowd. Next year we will get him to stay and play a
few."
****************************************************************
The Worst Leading Man by Richard Pavlicek
Forget the silly Oscars, Emmys, Grammys, Golden Globes or
whatever, and say hello to the PavCo Awards honoring
ineptitude at the bridge table. This year's PavCo in the
"worst leading man" category goes to your partner, West, on
these six problems. As East, your goal is to recover from the
bad start. Just select your next lead from the choices
offered. Try it! It's fun.
http://www.rpbridge.net/7x73.htm
Results of the March bidding poll "The Beast of Velvet Cave"
(ending March 31) will be posted April 4, 2004. For these,
and everything else related to the monthly polls and contests,
go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
****************************************************************
RENO
It looks like our friends had a great time in Reno! See the
results below for our Fireside commentators who did well
there!
A special congratulations to our own Lynn Deas (WISHTRIK) who
is the 2004 recipient of the Sidney Lazard Jr. Sportsmanship
Award. The award will be officially presented at the Hall of
Fame banquet during the Summer NABC in New York.
Lynn will be the fourth recipient of the award. The others
were Paul Soloway (2001), Rose Meltzer (2002) and Larry Cohen
(2003). This is a wonderful and well deserved honor for Lynn,
and we are so proud of her.:))
We've heard that Lynn took ill while in Reno, and we send her our
sincerest get well wishes from everyone at Fireside.
MELODY had a fantastic experience in Reno....I'll just let her
tell her story:
"As a treat to myself for my upcoming 65th birthday, I decided
to go to Reno and kibitz the final 3 days of the Vanderbilt at
the Nationals as I wanted to put faces and personalities on
the world class players I have read about for years. I also
wanted try to meet some of the OKbridge players. When I got
there I realized that unless you have made arrangements ahead
of time to meet someone, it is very hard to find people as few
had nametags and there were so many events going on.
"On Thursday afternoon, I introduced myself to Paul Soloway and
asked if I could kibitz his session in the Vanderbilt. He was
very nice and said that would be fine. They play 16 boards,
take a break and play 16 more boards per session. All of the
rooms were open and kibitzers were allowed to quietly come and
go during each session. I decided to watch a different 4
players during each break so I could see as many of the
players as possible bid and play.
"On Friday and Saturday, the rules for kibitzing changed as E-
bridge and Bridge Base Online were broadcasting the hands so
you were allowed into a room before play started but if you
left the room before the 16 hands were finished, you were not
allowed to return. At the end of the Friday evening session,
the Nickell & Schwartz team were tied! They had an 8 board
playoff, which I didn't stay for as it was 12:30 am by then
and I had to return to my hotel downtown.
"When I returned on Saturday evening for the final session, the
director, Roger, said that no kibitzers were going to be
allowed and that the sessions were being shown downstairs on a
view-graph. I pleaded that "I was a faithful kibitzer, had
come to Reno just for this event as a gift to myself and that
kibitzers served a useful function for the player in the rooms
as we got water, pencils, turned dummy cards, escorted player
to the restrooms, called the director, etc." He said the
boss made the ruling but to return during the break and he
would see what he could do. I went downstairs to the vue-
graph and near the end of 1st half of the session, a director
named Rick found me and asked "Would you be more comfortable
upstairs?" I broke into a huge grin and said "I would love to
be there". He said "Go up and tell Roger that I could sit for
the final 16 boards!" I was the only kibitzer (Bocchi, Duboin
vs. Cohen, Berkowitz) thanks to the great kindness of
directors Roger and Rick.
"I realized that unless you understand the bidding systems each
team plays, it was sometimes hard to follow the bidding
(varied from natural systems with a lot of gadgets to
artificial systems) but watching the play was invaluable.
Some sessions had players who were very relaxed, laughed and
made comments about the hands. Other sessions were tense,
little was said and the director was called during 2 sessions
I watched. I now have faces and personalities to go with the
names of the players I have read about for years. It was a
great experience. My only regret is that I didn't meet some
of our OKbridge friends there."
***************
Thanks, Melody, for taking the time to write about your
experience! And now for the results. (IF you were there, and
I missed your name, please note that I do my best, and you
must alert me to any results if you want to be sure of seeing
your name here!)
RENO RESULTS
ED FOUNDATION KO BKT 4
16 Teams
MPs Rank Names
9.81 3/4 Sue Ann Moore - Rob Lorck - Jerry Robinson -
Laurie Beattie - William Nabors, Colorado
Spgs CO; Marieanne Davison, Manitou Springs CO
Sat Eve Side Game
86 Pairs
MPs A B C Names Score
6.03 2 Richard Cornett, Madisonville KY;
Dann Kramer, Calgary AB 201.84
1st SUN AFT SIDE SERIES
54 Pairs
MPs A B C Names Score
5.61 1 Diane Walker, Gaithersburg MD;
Steven Norvich, Barrington IL 205.00
1st Sunday A/X Swiss
37 Teams
MPs A X Names Score
28.09 1 Michael Yuen, Vancouver BC; Maurice De La Salle,
Edmonton AB; Leonard Doerksen - William Treble,
Winnipeg MB 129.00
Monday Senior Pairs
150 Pairs
MPs A B C Names Score
2.86 8 Steven Norvich, Barrington IL;
Diane Walker, Gaithersburg MD 358.50
Tues Eve Swiss Teams
104 Teams
MPs A B C Names Score
5.33 11/13 3/4 Laurie Beattie - Rob Lorck - Sue Ann Moore,
Colorado Spgs CO; Marieanne Davison,
Manitou Springs CO 55.00
Mon-Thurs A M K O Brk 1
16 Teams
Mps Rank Names
20.70 3/4 William Treble, Winnipeg MB; Michael Yuen,
Vancouver BC; Steven Lawrence, Calgary AB;
Susan Culham - Thomas Gandolfo - Maurice
De La Salle, Edmonton AB
TGIF COMPACT KO BKT 3
16 Teams
MPs Rank Names
20.39 1 William Treble, Winnipeg MB; Maurice De La Salle -
Susan Culham - Thomas Gandolfo, Edmonton AB
Wed-Sat Morning K O Brk 2
16 Teams
MPs Rank Names
13.98 2 Rob Lorck - Sue Ann Moore - Jerry Robinson,
Colorado Spgs CO; Ronald Heron, Winnipeg MB
2ND SAT ZIP KO RED
11 Teams
MPs Rank Names
3.19 1 Patty Metcalfe - James Metcalfe, Edmonton AB;
Pam Peard - Dann Kramer, Calgary AB
Sat-Sun KO, Bracket 4
16 Teams
MPs Rank Names
14.68 2 Ronald Heron, Winnipeg MB; Gregory Vernon,
Ridgecrest CA; Rob Lorck - Sue Ann Moore,
Colorado Spgs CO
Vanderbilt KO Teams
64 Teams
MPs Rank
50.00 9/16 Richard Pavlicek, Fort Lauderdale FL;
Rich Pavlicek Jr, Belmont CA; Frederick
Allenspach, Potomac MD; William Pettis,
Silver Spring MD; Dan Gerstman, Buffalo
NY; Kevin Bathurst, Columbia SC
STRAIGHT FLUSH KO BKT 11
9 Teams
MPs Rank Names
3.71 3/4 Barbara Ohman - Ella Bosse - Ruth Ruyle -
Ann Rutledge, Roseville CA (Ruth is KITKAT)
TUE AM 50/100/300 PAIRS
46 Pairs
MPs A B C Names Score
3.10 3 Ruth Ruyle - Ann Rutledge, Roseville CA 78.50
Wednesday Morn 299er Pair
52 Pairs
MPs A B C Names Score
0.94 5 Ann Rutledge - Ruth Ruyle, Roseville CA 69.17
**********************************************************
Hope everyone had a good month! I had a lovely trip
to Palm Springs, accompanying my husband on a business
trip. While he was at meetings, I went to the local
club to play bridge! I had emailed them beforehand
for a partner, and it was a wonderful way to spend an
afternoon. Colin couldn't quite figure out why I won't
go to a club in Miami but found the idea appealing all
the way across the country. Hasn't he learned yet that
you don't try to understand women! :) I tried to squeeze
in an OKB tourney, but this Pacific time is really weird....
I looked on the schedule, and had a really tough time
coming to grips with the fact that the 11 AM tourney was
at.....get this....11 AM! :)
Back home now where 11AM is 2PM where it belongs!
Hugs to all......Janice
*************************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who
write for The Chat, we want to note that our other
commentators also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
The lessons can be more affordable than you might
think, especially mentoring games. We think our
commentators give you your money's worth when you
choose private lessons, and they really value your
business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one what
you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
**************************************************************
We know that it isn't always easy to find a 'friendly' game.
We hope this new site will be a plus in your OKB experience
by helping our friends schedule games with each other.
Visit:
http://www.firesides.net/playdate.htm
and follow the directions to set up a table others can join, or
to join a game someone else has scheduled. You'll receive emails
notifying you as others join the same games.
If you wish to reserve a seat in one of the listed mentoring
games, which are supported by the people attending, we
suggest you do so, and also contact the mentoring commentator
for info.
We have tested this site, but we won't be surprised to hear
of a bug or two. Please let us know at kaltica@mts.net if
you encounter any problems serving, joining, or canceling a
game, or if you have any suggestions.
Have fun!
********************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program?
An event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of
us? A question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for
us to visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to
miss anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside,
it's easy now! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet,
here are some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has
developed to enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm
(Note that IGITSAP must be in CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
April Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, April 8, 6:00 P.M. and Saturday,
April 17, at 12:00 P.M. A low-key introduction
to the tourney experience, sponsored by Fifth Chair...
see www.fifthchair.org for more info on this and
their other services, including getting a mentor.
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sundays, 5:00 P.M. April 4 & 18.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at firesider@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically
in your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions.
After clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section.
Write an email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer
your questions.
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for these:
ONE LINERS!
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your
glass.
--Martin Mull
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.
Boxing great Jake LaMotta said of his old friend Gerry Cooney:
There's nothing I won't do for him, and there's nothing he won't
do for me. So we go through life doing nothing for each other.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are "check
enclosed."
--Dorothy Parker
Be careful about health books. You may die of a misprint.
--Mark Twain
"I tell ya, I get no respect from anyone! I bought a cemetery
plot. The salesman said, 'There goes the neighborhood!'"
--Rodney Dangerfield
========================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
"Bill's Recipe Book"
Most of us that have put their heart and soul into this
endeavour called bridge pine away for that secret ingredient
that will catapult us from the ranks of the milling crowd into
the rarified air of the top level. In any cooking recipe,
whipping up that taste-tempting delight is the result of
getting the proper mix of ingredients. You have to follow the
directions but not be hamstrung by them. A good memory and a
firm grasp of basic principles is essential, but courage,
optimism and inventiveness is required for a successful
venture into the culinary arts. It's exactly the same with
bridge, and in this article I'll have a few pointers on what
you need to develop a recipe for effective bridge play.
1) Bridge is a game that follows closely the Law of
Expectations. Last Wednesday, Doug Fisher, having bid and made
a close 4S contract, was holding court on how to approach the
game. Expect useful values in dummy, and you'll often get
them. Expect partner to have the wrong cards, and that's what
you'll often get treated to. Expect success and it will
usually follow you around. Expect frustration intermingled
with disaster, and that cloud will always be hanging over you.
In a club game a few weeks ago, I picked up the following hand
in the West chair:
S-- x H-- Ax D-- A10x C-- AK10xxxx
The auction went:
West North East South
1C dbl 1S pass
3NT pass pass pass
On this auction, the jump to 3NT by opener does NOT show a
balanced hand, as we'd use a 2NT rebid to show the 18-19 flat
distribution. The direct leap to the notrump game typically
shows a solid club suit with outside high cards and shortness
in partner's suit. In other words, a hand too strong for a
gambling 3NT opener, which in most partnerships denies more
than a Queen outside.
The actual hand was a stretch for the 3NT rebid, as opener
lacks the solid clubs. However, I decided to apply the Fisher
Law of Expectations, confident that partner would come up with
the hand to justify my overbid. Sure enough, I got a decent
buy once the opening lead was made:
S-- Qxxxx H-- J9x D-- Q10x C-- Qx
Clubs were 4-0 but the Jxxx was on my right, so I was able to
take the second-round finesse to rack up nine tricks. A
PESSIMIST, on the other hand, would either not make the 3NT
bid in the first place or be worried about partner having a
singleton or void in clubs. If those doubts are permeating
your thought processes, more often than not, that is exactly
what you will see when dummy appears.
3NT was not reached at the other table, as the auction went:
West North East South
1C dbl 1S dbl
3C pass pass 3D
pass pass pass
In some partnerships, South's double is takeout, asking North
to choose between the red suits. However, that is only useful
if you are playing offshape takeout doubles. In the classical
method, if South wants to compete in a red suit he/she just
bids one. The double of RHO's response is penalty, indicating
to the takeout doubler that advancer would have made a
constructive bid in the spade suit. This has two big gains.
One is that if responder has psyched 1S with a big club fit
such as S-- xx H-- Jxx D-- Qx C-- Kxxxxx, your side can
expose the opponents' chicanery and still reach a possible
spade game your way. The other was shown on this particular
auction, where opener was now reluctant to bid the notrump
game and jump rebid the clubs instead. The end result was
that East-West did not even buy the contract, as North-South
played 3D instead and our side went plus at both tables, +600
in 3NT at ours and +110 in 3D by our teammates.
I was on the receiving end of the Law of Expectations from the
maestro himself, Doug Fisher, about a month ago, when he held:
S-- AKJxx H-- x D-- AQ10x C-- xxx
He opened 1S and partner raised to 2S, showing 6 to 9 points.
Some of us lesser mortals would pass, expecting little chance
of game, whereas braver souls might venture a help-suit try
with 3C or 3D. Not our man, who proceeded directly to 4S,
expecting partner to have the right stuff. Sure enough,
dummy's baubles were:
S-- xxxx H-- Jxxx D-- xxx C-- KQ
A minimum raise, and yet game was impregnable. Doug nodded
thank you, got to dummy with a club to take the winning
diamond finesse and scored up the game with trumps dividing
2-2. It was this hand that converted me to the Law of
Expectations.
2) A lot of players assume they are at a huge disadvantage
when they're up against a top pair. That isn't exactly the
case, and in many ways, the advantage lies on THEIR side.
When an "A" pair comes to the table of "B" or "C" opponents,
they expect to go away with at least two average pluses or
perhaps even more. Engaging in a game of subterfuge or
brinkmanship is more likely to help them achieve that goal
than it is to tilt the scales in your favour. Instead, just
make it tough for them and refuse to go away. Maintain
partnership discipline since in a tight situation you want to
rely on the information coming from the other side of the
table. Be sensibly aggressive but don't take any real flyers.
If you just play your game and your two results are a flat
board and an average minus, carefully watch their faces as
they leave your table. I guarantee it won't be a happy
expression you see. Next time, the same opponents may take
undue risks against you to get what they consider to be their
just rewards. And when you refuse to fold and chalk up a +200
with accurate defense against a silly game, then you begin to
reap the benefits the third time you face off against them.
You now see a respect in their eyes that wasn't there before,
and they won't be trying to devastate you any longer. Their
objective might now be to get 14 out of 24 matchpoints whereas
they might have been looking to get in the 18-20 point range
the first time you met.
3) In partscore battles, try and compete in a suit when
you have decent prospects of a fit, but you should generally
NOT compete in notrump. To illustrate, take the following
action, with you as South and no one vul:
North East South West
1NT pass pass 2D
pass pass ?
Your hand is:
S-- Ax H-- Kxxx D-- Jxxx C-- xxx
Incredibly, around 60% of the average club player would bid
2NT rather than double 2D with this hand. I know, because
I've seen it up close. With partner having a balanced 15-17,
we have a comfortable majority of high card points and at
least six cards in overcaller's suit. Those numbers alone
mean you should beat 2D nine times out of ten. Now let's
swing over to our math calculations to see how wrong bidding
2NT is:
2D dbld down 2-- +300 vs +90/120
2D dbld down 1, 2NT down 1 or more-- +100 vs -50/100
2D dbld down 1, 2NT making 8 tricks +100 vs -120
If you're concerned about 2D making, that means 2NT by your
side will be doubled and at least down two, so that will also
be a losing scenario. As you can see, doubling 2D has a 67%
chance of being the best result for your side, whereas 2NT
would be your optimum score only one-third of the time. The
only time you should bid 2NT in a competitive auction is if
you are inviting game. Otherwise, it's pretty much a
guaranteed losing proposition.
4) 3NT will need the full 26 points to make if the combined
hands don't fit well. With no fit but some honours in
partner's bid suits, you may be able to scrape through with
about 25 points. With a good fit, it might roll home on as few
as 24 points. With a very nice double fit, perhaps even less
than that. At any rate, don't try and defy Audrey Grant's
advice that 26 points are the signpost for bidding a game
contract.
5) Most players view the opening lead as an arduous chore
they'd prefer to avoid. In fact, it's a glittering
opportunity to move your game up into the higher echelons, IF
you approach it with a spirit of optimism. To take an
example, suppose the auction goes 1NT on your right, all pass
and you are on lead with:
S-- Q108x H-- Axx D-- Kxx C-- 109x
Here, a spade lead rates to be productive for your side more
often than not, if partner has as little as the Jack of your
suit. Unfortunately, a lot of people obsess about the doom
and gloom scenario when partner has nothing in spades and
decide to opt for the "safe" 10 of clubs lead instead. That
may gain occasionally, but could easily waste a tempo and
afford declarer the chance to develop his suit and make the
contract when the more enterprising spade lead would have
defeated it. In an oblique way, this is another example of
the law of expectations at work. If you make aggressive leads
from strength with an air of confidence, partner will often be
able to contribute some high card strength in the suit you
are leading. If a sense of doubt plagues every opening lead
you make, they will be uniformly unsuccessful. From my
experience, I can assure you that passive opening leaders can
usually be found in the bottom half of the standings. Sure,
you'll have the occasional setback with an aggressive opening
lead, but you'll be victorious more often than not. Also,
it's easier for a bold opening leader to recognize the
auctions where a passive or noncommittal lead is called for.
Conversely, it's far more difficult for a cautious opening
leader to recognize the situations where you have to take the
plunge and make an attacking lead.
6) Tempo is a vital element of winning bridge. If you are
indulging in prolonged "tanks", either on the bidding or
during the play, your ultimate decision will often be the
wrong one. I'd bet that the choice you were leaning towards
but talked yourself out of was the winning one. If you watch
most of the top players, they have a routine of taking at
least ten seconds for most of their bids and plays, even the
obvious ones. The reason for this is twofold. One is that
when they DO have a legitimate problem or dilemma, it will not
constitute a break from the usual moderate tempo. If a player
that is a lightning- quick bidder and snaps off the cards at
breakneck speed goes into a trance, that speaks volumes. The
other advantage is that taking the that extra moment may avoid
the pitfall of acting too quickly without fully considering the
entire hand. This happened in the recent Spring Nationals at
Reno in the Jacoby Swiss Teams, where you hold as North, vul
against not:
S-- x H-- K10xx D-- AKxxxx C-- Ax
The auction goes:
East South West North
1S pass 1NT* 2D
3D dbl pass 3H
4S 5D dbl pass
5S dbl pass pass
pass
The opponents use a forcing 1C opening, so 1S showed a maximum
of 15 HCP. 1NT was a forcing response. Partner's double of
3D promised some values in your suit but not enough to raise
directly to the four-level. Partner leads the Ace of hearts
and you see dummy come down with:
S-- 7 H-- J9 D-- J10xx C-- KQxxxx
Not a whole lot. The lead looks good for the defenders, so
North quickly encouraged with the 10 of hearts. Partner
switches to a club, whereupon to your distress declarer spread
his hand, which is:
S-- AKQJ109x H-- Q876xx D-- void C-- void
In displaying his enthusiasm for the opening lead, North
signaled with the setting trick. Unlucky, you might say, but
the void in diamonds is known when partner raises to 5D and
you see four of them on dummy. If declarer has one or more
clubs, 5S will always fail, so there is no urgency to
encourage in hearts. If you take that extra pause, it might
click in that East might indeed have an extremely
distributional hand. After all, he DID bid up to 5S virtually
on his own, removing a penalty double along the way.
My suggestion, then, is to emulate the top players and stay
within a 5-10 second timeframe for most of your bids and
plays. Of course, you'll have to exceed that on a particularly
tough hand. But never go UNDER the 5 seconds, and this hand is
a prime example of why, since North failed to consider the
possibility of such extreme distribution in opener's hand and
the end result was a loss of 11 IMPs that determined the
outcome of a close match.
Those are a few pointers that may help develop your game in a
way that you can ascend to the next level.
See you next month!!
********************
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Bill is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email Bill at (btreble@shaw.ca)
for more information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to PKV for this giggle:
Why I'm afraid of snakes
Garden Snakes are DANGEROUS! Author Unknown
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous.
Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and
during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden
in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out
and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud
scream.
The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living
room naked to see what the problem was.
She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the
floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the
family dog came and cold nosed him on the rear. He thought the
snake had bitten him and he fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an
ambulance.
The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and
started carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and one of
the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end of
the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is
still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor man.
He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he
decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa
in relief.
But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushion where
she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted,
the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man,
seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive
her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
slammed her husband on the back of the head with a bag of canned
goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
needed stitches.
An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the
injury required hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so
she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the
kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began
pouring it down the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man,
smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had
occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women
tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.
The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing
wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the
couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He
missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one
side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it
shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through
the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled,
jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car
swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and
set it on fire.
Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the
entire house was blazing.
Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire
truck had started raising his ladder when they were halfway down
the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and
pulled out the electricity and disconnected telephones in a
ten-square city block area.
Time passed...
Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was
rebuilt. The police acquired a new car, and all was right with
the world.
About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband
asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants
for the night.
She shot him...
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Anti-Pre-Emption
I have been meaning to write an article on this subject
for almost a year. During a Friday night Fireside (04-03-26)
two hands came up back-to-back that illustrate this common
theme. The idea is simple enough: pre-emption tends to
buffalo the opponents into game; letting the opponents have
their say before settling below their best spot can be a very
effective strategy.
Consider this hand:
S- 873 H- J10954 D- QJ7 C-109
After 1D-1H-1S, with opponents vulnerable, we have a
massive fit. The Law of Total Tricks suggests that we bid
4H. 10 Hearts, 10 tricks.
The problem is that the LOTT will be trumped by another
bridge maxim, the "Texas Idiot Transfer": "When the opponents
bid 4H, we bid 4S."
The question arises: "What can we do to prevent our
opponents from bidding 4S?"
There are a number of strategies available. We
assume that it is the opponents' hand, so we are free to
be "creative". We could psyche virtually any bid here: 3C,
3D or even a cuebid of 2S! A personal favourite is 2NT,
the infamous "No Tricks No Trump", to slow the opponents
down by making them think that the Spade suit might be
stacked against them. Note that all of these allow LHO
to bid 3S, showing the Spade support, and--without knowing
of our massive Heart fit--possibly stop in 3S. Note, too,
that all of these tactics have one thing in common: we
adopt an active strategy, feigning strength in an attempt
to bluff the opponents out of bidding 4S.
Now let's switch majors with the opponents:
S- J10954 H- 873 D- QJ7 C-109
After 1D-1S-2H, again with the opponents vulnerable,
we could leap to 4S and expect to go -300 (if we are not
vulnerable), -500 or -800 there.
Since we own the master suit, we have the luxury
of Passing. Who knows? Maybe the opponents won't find
their 4H game? If they do, then we can bid 4S. This is
the essence of the "Cripple Creek Coup": feign weakness
(in this case, in terms of fit) and let the auction take
its course before deciding on whether or not to bid 4S.
Thus, if our suit outranks theirs our basic strategy is
a passive one, suggesting weakness.
Okay, so anti-pre-emption is all about game level
contracts, right?
Wrong. Consider this hand:
S- 54 H- A96 D- A6 C- AK10975
Dealer, vul vs not, Matchpoints. 1C or 1NT?
The hand is a little off-shape for 1NT. It has
no tenaces. If Partner has, say, S-Kx, you'd prefer
that Partner play this one. For all of these reasons
1NT may be a question choice--especially if Partner
has just misplayed a hand. Pard may think that you
are starting to handhog! :)
The one reason to open 1NT is pre-emption. You
make it difficult for the opponents to bid their suits.
But this is Matchpoints! What Firesider is going to be
intimidated at the thought of competing over your 1NT
at Matchpoints? :)
Here is the whole hand:
S J72 Vul: N-S
H 8754 Dlr: South
D QJ95
S Q6 C 63 S AKT983
H KQJ32 H T
D KT73 D 842
C J4 S 54 C Q82
H A96
D A6
C AKT975
If we open 1NT the auction may be passed around
to East, who will bid 2S. Now we'll bid 3C and likely
go down. If we open 1C, though, watch what might happen:
LHO, West, bids 1H. Pard passes. RHO, East,
gets to bid 1S. South rebids 2C. Now let's look at
the hands from E-W's point of view. West has told
hir story and doesn't like Spades. How does East
feel about bidding 2S after showing 5+ and hearing
LHO (you) bid and rebid Clubs? Chances are very
good that 2C will be passed out.
Thus, by opening 1C we give the opponents a
chance to bid out their hands and graciously let
us play the hand at a lower level. That is the
essence of anti-pre-emption.
And what simple, underlying rule does this idea
of "anti-pre-emption" apply?
Yup. Maxi-Flex. Again. :)
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Colin is available for private/group lessons and/or
supervised play sessions. Email him at (kaltica@mts.net)
for more information.
Rainbow and Spectrum Series Online!
The popular Rainbow (SAYC and play) and Spectrum (2/1-GF)
series have been automated for your convenience. You can take
any of the lessons at your leisure simply by clicking on
either of these links:
http://www.firesides.net/rainbows.htm
http://www.firesides.net/spectrums.htm
Enjoy!
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Wheels for this giggle:
Need a laugh? This is great!
For those who already have children past this age, this is
amusing.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear
and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up
a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's
already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true
story:
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the
Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story
where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building
materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to
the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me
sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The
teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that
man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he
said...'Holy sh_t! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to
teach for the next 10 minutes.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake
fluid.
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
|
F
|
I
|
R
|
E
|
S
|
I
|
D
|
E
|
S
|
Ocbober, 2001
|
November, 2001
|
December, 2001
|
|
January, 2002
|
February, 2002
|
March, 2002
|
April, 2002
|
May, 2002
|
June, 2002
|
July, 2002
|
August, 2002
|
September, 2002
|
October, 2002
|
November, 2002
|
December, 2002
|
January, 2003
|
February, 2003
|
March, 2003
|
April, 2003
|
May, 2003
|
June, 2003
|
July, 2003
|
August, 2003
|
September, 2003
|
October, 2003
|
November, 2003
|
December, 2003
|
|
January, 2004
|
February, 2004
|
March, 2004
|
April, 2004
|
May, 2004
|
June, 2004
|
July, 2004
|
August, 2004
|
September, 2004
|
October, 2004
|
November, 2004
|
December, 2004
|
|
January, 2005
|
February, 2005
|
March, 2005
|
April, 2005
|
May, 2005
|
June, 2005
|
July, 2005
|
August, 2005
|
September, 2005
|
October, 2005
|
November, 2005
|
December, 2005
|
