|
Fireside Chat
|
|
FIRESIDE CHAT FEBRUARY 2004
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Hand of the Month
Dealing With Dann
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the February, 2004 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at moocake@bellsouth.net.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide
Chat" newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@bellsouth.net,
or Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication
and caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking
of taking private lessons, paying a professional to play
tourneys with you, getting involved in a group session
mentoring program... most, if not all, of our commentators
and contributors to this newsletter are available for those
services. Just think how much easier it is to learn
from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2004 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
I was recently asked about how team games work, and how
the scoring is determined. Not feeling qualified to
answer the questions, I asked Colin to do a write-up
about it. That will be my column this month :-)
Thanks, Colin!
Be sure to read Moogal's column for some important
announcements.
********************
How to Hold a Team Game
***********************
Suppose you have eight players and wish to form
a team game on OKBridge. How is this done using OKWin?
Easy.
First, you will need two serving players. My
advice is to choose two people who have good connection
times (e.g. cable, high speed or faster modems). Try
to avoid using machines that are networked with other
local computers.
Both serving players should open a table in IMPs,
Competitive mode with Baromoter OFF. The reasons for
this are:
IMPs = This is the form of game in which all team games
are run. If you should err and run your team
game in MPs the results will make little sense.
COMPETITIVE = Not to worry. Team games do NOT affect
Lehmans--not even if run in COMPETITIVE mode!
Barometer OFF = If you fail to remove the check mark from
the Barometer option you will receive results in
your Scores panel after each hand. However, play
at the faster table will be stopped as you wait
for the slower one to finish! To avoid this, and
allow both tables to play at their own pace without
such delays, turn Barometer OFF. Should you fail
to do this you can set Barometer off later by
having the serving players type: /BAR OFF
IMPs (International Match Points) involves assigning
points based on the size of the difference between how well
your side did on the board compared to how well the opponents
did when holding the same cards. This chart (which we will
see on most convention cards distributed in local Clubs)
shows this conversion from raw score differences to IMPs:
Difference in Raw Scores IMPs
0-10 0
20-40 1
50-80 2
90-120 3
130-160 4
170-210 5
220-260 6
270-310 7
320-360 8
370-420 9
430-490 10
500-590 11
600-740 12
750-890 13
900-1090 14
1100-1290 15
1300-1490 16
1500-1740 17
1750-1990 18
2000-2240 19
2250-2490 20
2500-2990 21
3000-3490 22
3500-3990 23
4000+ 24
Note: while you are playing the hand as N-S at one
table your team mates are playing it from the E-W side at
the other table. When playing IMPs, be sure to bid your
games and slams; don't sweat the part scores as much.
For more on the difference between IMPs and Matchpoints,
go to:
http://www.firesides.net/kaleido6.htm
Now the teams send their East-West pairs to the
OTHER table. So if Believer is playing against Moogal,
Believer sends her East-West pair to Moogal's table and
vice versa. Now you are ALMOST ready to start play.
What remains is for the serving players to "join"
their tables into a team game. One of them hits:
"SERVING" then "MAKE A TEAM TABLE..." and leaves
the name area BLANK. This becomes the "open" table.
Having done this, send a message to the other serving
player, asking them to join to your table. That other
serving player hits:
"SERVING", then "MAKE A TEAM TABLE..." and enters
the name of the other server.
To illustrate, Believer and Moogal open in IMPs,
COMPETITIVE mode with BAROMETER OFF. Believer then
hits "SERVING", "MAKE A TEAM TABLE..." and leaves the
name area BLANK by merely hitting "OKAY". She then
sends a private message to Moogal (via "TALK", "ONE
PERSON", "Moogal") at the other table: "Please join
your table to mine." Moogal then hits "SERVING",
"MAKE A TEAM TABLE..." and enters "Believer" before
hitting "OKAY". Board #1 should now appear and play
can commence.
Once play at your table is finished the serving
players hit "SERVING" and "END TEAM GAME". A message
appears, stating that the team game is over and that
an email of the results will be sent to all of the
players. Check your email after both tables are done
and voilą! The play record and score are automatically
sent out to all eight players.
That is all one needs to know about how to play
a team game with OKWin on OKBridge.
In our bi-weekly Mentor Team Cup games volunteer
serving players do this three times, once for each
round. While team games are scored in IMPs, we convert
these manually to something called "Victory Points"
according to an arbitrary 30-point scale:
IMPs Diff Winning Team Losing Team
Tie 15 15
1 18 12
2 19 11
3 20 10
4 21 9
5-6 22 8
7-8 23 7
9-10 24 6
11-13 25 5
14-16 26 4
17-19 27 3
20-23 28 2
24-27 29 1
30+ 30 0
The idea behind Victory points is to give some
import to winning--note the jump from 15 to 18 VPs
for winning by a mere 1 IMP--while limiting the effect
of massacres to 30.
Try playing in either the Mentor Team Cup or
your own team games. They are fun!
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
===============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Luc for this giggle:
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age
and thinking...surely I cannot look that old? If so, you may
enjoy this story....
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room
of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his
full name.
Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same
name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago. Upon
seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was
way too old to have been my classmate.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended
the local high school. "Yes," he replied.
"When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1971. Why?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely
and then asked, "What did you teach?
=================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
Opening leads are not easy at best! But sometimes we can
listen to what has been said or, more importantly, what
has not been said, to see into our partner's hand and
divine a more successful opening lead!
We pick up this collection:
S 873
H K742
D Q654
C Q6
and hear the following auction:
LHO RHO
1D
1H 1NT
2NT 3NT
all pass
We have to decide on our lead. Let us take it suit by suit.
The red suits seem unlikely to cause anyone any harm, so which
black suit should you lead? Before you lead the 8 of spades ask
yourself a few questions. Can partner have a really good spade
suit that will inconvenience them? With your length in their
suits you are leading to try and hit partner's suit and if
his spades were that strong why didn't he overcall 1S when
he had a chance to do so over 1H? The answer is that his
spades are not that strong.
Now, could he have a decent to strong club suit and not have
enough points to have overcalled 2C? The answer is a resounding
yes! In addition, we have the club queen to help establish his
suit. I think the queen of clubs is a stand out for an opening
lead. If partner is going to have a good enough suit to defeat
them with it will be in clubs not spades!
Partner's hand was:
S A54
H 98
D 1097
C AJ1043
Only with the club lead will you be able to set this contract.
Listen to what has been said or rather what has not been said to
help you make the best opening lead!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
==============================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind
him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their
orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and
turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That
will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the
ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact
change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter
again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so
I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man,
"Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says,
"That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change
out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with
the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the
attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie
appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I
would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of
money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would
wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be
as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls
Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the
ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers,
"My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees
with everything I say."
===========================================================
HAND OF THE MONTH
=================
This month we are thrilled to present our 'Hand of the Month'
feature, with a big "thank you" to Gail Wix for formatting
it for us.
From The 2003 Daily Bridge Calendar. For more information
call 1-888-453-1976, or email: calendar@interlog.com
********************
Vul: Both
Dlr: S North
S QT9832
H JT5
D Q
C Q84
South
S AKJ
H A732
D A86
C A53
West North East South
2NT*
p 4H** P 4S
all pass
*20-21 HCP
**Transfer
Opening Lead C9
In the newspaper column South always seems to be able
to squeeze out an extra trick one way or another.
Well, here you are, so start squeezing! Plan the play.
*******************
S QT9832
H JT5
D Q
C Q84
S 75 S 64
H K86 H Q94
D KJ9432 D T75
C 923 C KJT76
S AKJ
H A732
D A86
C A53
Contract: 4S Lead: C9
*******************
Given the likely two losers in clubs, your best bet is to
strip the hand, trying to force the opponents to break hearts.
Win the CA, play the DA and ruff a diamond, back to a spade,
ruff a diamond stripping that suit, and back to a spade. If
spades have divided 2-2, exit a club to the queen losing 2
clubs to East. But after East has had his fun, he must break
hearts or give you a ruff-sluff. In the strip ending, you can
lose no more than one heart trick.
Your play also works when spades are 3-1, East has the
singleton, and the heart honors divide. After cashing two
clubs East must break hearts or give you a ruff-sluff. And
what happens if East has a safe spade exit? Don't give up the
ship. Win the trump exit in Dummy and lead the HJ. If East
started with a likely five clubs and if he has followed to
three diamonds, he may have a doubleton heart honor in which
case you lose only one heart trick.
The Bottom Line
*Try to use equal length side suits as throw-in suits for a strip
and endplay.
*You may not be able to draw all the trump before a throw-in.
However, if the player being thrown in does not have a safe
trump exit, your "partial strip" should attract a favorable
return.
********************
Hand and analysis by Eddie Kantar, courtesy of the Daily Bridge
Calendar, published by Ashlar House Inc.,Brampton, ON, Canada.
Reprinted with permission. (Special thanks to Lee Daugherty and
Dann Kramer.)
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to PamA for this giggle:
You know you've been online too long when...
Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use
a search function to get to the point.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."
When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing
your response.
You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know
there's nothing there.
You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
You have called out someone's screen name while making love to
your significant other.
You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can
hang out."
Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl"
face-to-face.
You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza
Hut.
You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or
complete sentences.
You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the night
when your spouse is asleep.
You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't
know you're online again.
You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do
your own spouse's.
You find yourself lying to others about your time online and
when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was
off the hook.
You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name
close to your own.
You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from
partying too much than the truth.
You change your screen name so much that you have to do a who
is to know who you are.
You type messages to people while you are on the phone with
them at the same time.
You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
Your dog leaves you.
You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
You type faster than you can think.
You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast
that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you
wanted to check your mail and while there you "just wanted to
see who was online."
============================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
=================
Hey, all you sports fans!
Today is a special day - SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!
Now for all the non-football (North American style) fans!
(Hmmm. this might also include Detroit Lion fans?)
Why I raise the SuperBowl in a bridge rag - 2 points:
First: The SuperBowl is the biggest single day gambling
"event" (i.e. has the largest $'s bet on it). Okay, this is a
fact we may or may not have been aware of, but hopefully the
point I am going to raise is something we are aware of and
practicing!
The bridge table is not where we go to make wild gambles!
First we should be making "sound investment strategies" at the
bridge table. Now those sound "investment strategies" could be
exercising common sense, staying disciplined, careful card
play technique, using a systemic call correctly, a sound
partnership, or, if we are lucky enough to be in the zone, all
of them.
Well, we all should enjoy our time spent at bridge. This
shouldn't be at the opponents' or partner's expense, paying
for our wild gambles! For those of you reading who regularly
attend my Fireside sessions, you might be thinking of my oft-
quoted "good bridge is often boring"! But making money from
investing is boring compared to the excitement, glitter and 2
weeks of media buildup that is the final football game of the
season - read "SuperBowl"! [Here's hoping Carolina covers the
line - Pooka needs a new pair of shoes!!]
And now for the second point of mentioning the SuperBowl:
March 6th and 7th, Fireside has its event closest to the
SuperBowl - it's GATOR time again! Personally, it's a fun
event to participate in, but for Fireside, this is our main
fundraiser. I encourage all of you to buy shares in some team
and play for them, or cheer for them, whichever you are most
comfortable with. And, since I raise the funding point, I
would like to thank all the Fireside supporters - those who
send in money, and those who give us their time. Special
thanks to my table managers Frank, Nancy, and Super Spare
Sara.
Good bridging all, and don't forget to practice for the Gator
this month!
Dann (Pooka) Kramer
********************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m.
OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: pspeard@telusplanet.net
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for this giggle:
Can you guess which of the following are true or false?
1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up
in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every
10 yrs.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from
being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every
minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until
they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting
in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the
day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to
search for water.
18. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without
turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer
and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State
anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture
of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of
the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same
airplane just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a
tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords
cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein
transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were
7'th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.
ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE TRUE
#16 really bugs me :-)
=============================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
=====================
OKB Tourneys
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Mon Jan 12 04:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 jkh/murray 2.97 12
Wed Jan 28 07:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 etsand/LouisG 2.99 12
Fri Jan 30 11:00 AM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/moogal 3.07 25
There are now 12 tourneys a day, not possible for me
to check each one....so if you win a tourney, let me
know! We want everyone's name up in lights!
****************************************************************
NOVICE MENTOR TOURNEYS
Congrats to our winners of the two Novice-Mentor tourneys this
month.
And well done to all our top finishers:
Thu Jan 8 06:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 eudora/Kaltica 65.83 20
2 mayes/PollyE 60.53 19
3 aura/ltf_ri 52.08 20
4 hawes/larrys 51.25 20
Sat Jan 17 12:00 PM
Rank Team Score Boards
1 jimmmm/maxcat 61.11 18
2 Renauld/yauco 56.95 18
3 Desiree/hoffman 55.26 19
4 club3/rickl 51.39 18
Mentors and novices, join us this month on the 12th
and on the 21st - email Sandra at sandree@attbi.com
if you would like to find a partner ahead of time.
We'll do our best to match you up! I promise
you a fun game.
****************************************************************
FIRESIDE'S MENTOR CUP GAME
Our January winners are:
01-11-2004 TEAM BOBOWEN: Bobowen, Queenhrt, Pringle & Unicorn
01-25-2004 TEAM SHADE: Shade, GroovyB, Mackinac & BBolton
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and
lists of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder
list for these games, contact us at firesider@aol.com - all
welcome!
****************************************************************
From Tuna in The Spectator, February 2004:
Nina Campbell (PSYCHE) of New York USA has been named
Angelfish for February, albeit unfortunately posthumously. I
have had the pleasure of being her partner and whole-heartedly
agree with what some of her friends had to say:
"Anyone who met Nina liked her. She was very competitive, but
bent over backwards to be fair. Undos and skips were never a
problem, and she often encouraged pick-up partners to discuss
their system at the table during the bidding, so there would
be no disasters."
"She loved the tourneys, even after becoming ill, (and I'll
always be grateful to Tuna for giving permission for her to
leave a tourney if she got tired.)"
"What a sweetheart she was! Always pleasant, willing to play
with anyone, never making anyone feel idiotic, even after
*really* idiotic things!"
"She had a sweet, competitive, non judgemental demeanor about
her that was just a true joy to be around."
"She was always willing to take the blame for any bad results.
We got to the point where we told her "NO SORRIES ALLOWED!"
"Nina was a great believer in internet bridge; she found a
home here, made a lot of friends, never had a cross word for
anybody at the table."
"Nina was one of the first people I met when I joined
Okbridge. She made me feel welcome by asking me to play and
introducing me to other members. We had many enjoyable games
together."
"She never wanted to talk about her problems, but she was
always willing to listen to other people's tales of woe and
offer comfort and sympathy."
"When she got sick, she didn't want many people to know -- she
didn't want them to treat her any differently than they always
had. She finally did start telling her partners that she had
cancer once it started affecting her game. She'd apologize
for not playing as well as she used to. She didn't want
sympathy, only understanding."
"Her courage was exemplary. She was such a "classy" gal whom
I had the honor and pleasure of knowing for too short a time.
I will never forget her and how she made me feel about online
friends and Okbridge"
Thanks Tuna, for honoring our dear friend who is gone, but not
forgotten. I just feel she is smiling down on us, encouraging
us to follow her example.
Rest in peace, dear Nina.
****************************************************************
Congrats to two new Grandmothers!
Barbara (TODD) is the proud grandparent of Nicholas (Nick)
Zachary Franklin. Bobbie (TAXLADY) also has an adorable new
grandbaby, coincidentally named Todd. Congratulations to
them both and to their families!
****************************************************************
WEDDING BELLS ARE RINGING!
Oh how I love writing this column! I am so delighted to
announce the engagement of Bill Treble (WINTAKA) and Sue Moore
(SAM143). Our Tuesday night dynamic duo of commentator and
table manager will be married in Winnipeg on March 13!
They first met online when Bill was doing the Rainbow Series
in the fall of 2001. Their first face-to-face encounter was
at the Fall Nationals in Las Vegas in November of that year,
where they played a few times in side games. The next time
they crossed paths was at the Fargo Regional in August of
2002. Later that year, Bill ran into Sue again at the Fall
Nationals in Phoenix. According to Bill, Sue tried to convert
him into a Mexican food fan, but that it was a tough sell --
while she was recommending the enchiladas and fajitas, Sue was
ordering trout every night. A glowing recommendation if ever
there was one.
Sue thinks that when one of her friends lined her up for the
Victoria Regional and Bill immediately decided to go there as
well, that was a sign of things to come. But it wasn't until
the Gatlinburg Regional that they both knew that something
really good was happening. When Bill agreed to go with her to
Dollywood the day before he headed back to Winnipeg, he knew
his days of bachelorhood were numbered.
Bill says from there the train just kept rolling on to where
they are now, eagerly counting the days until they are joined
in marriage.
I had the pleasure of seeing Bill and Sue together in New
Orleans this past fall, and they are just *perfect* together.
Two very special people -- the deserve all the happiness in
the world.
Make you stop by on Tuesday nights and shower them with our
good wishes!
****************************************************************
***GATOR 2004***
We are just about set with our line-up for Gator 2004, to be held
March 6-7. And it's time for you to start picking your favorite
OKB celebrity and buying a share (or more than one share) in that
team! This is a fun participation event for all...don't be one
whit concerned about your bridge skills! You can see the list of
players who will be 'sold' plus all the rules of the game, at
www.firesides.net/gator.htm
Don't be deterred if it seems a bit confusing at first, just
make your choice and we'll help you with any details. Everyone
who has played in past years will attest to how much fun it is,
and keep in mind that you will be doing a good deed while
enjoying yourself, as all proceeds benefit on-line bridge
education through the Fireside Fund.
This is an experience not to be missed! After last year's
Gator, we received the following from DLOYE, which I am
reprinting here for folks who weren't around last
year at this time:
*****************
It's a What?
It's a Gator. I can't talk on the phone this weekend, Mother.
I'm playing in the Gator.
So let me get this straight, you're going to sit at your
computer, play bridge all weekend and call that FUN??
Nope, not going to call it fun, it will be fun.
And it was. Losing in the first round was pretty disappointing,
but we picked up our marbles and were able to play in a second
and I even got to watch the third and fourth rounds, with a
gallery that felt like half of OKb. Since the losing teams get
"picked up" by the victors, the bench just gets deeper and deeper
as the event progresses. And I'll probably be right there
trying to line up a team for the next Gator. With the
computer, the number of spectators is nearly unlimited. What a
deal. Bridge, wits and wags. Even with spring beckoning from
my window, I didn't manage to get out much. Just having too
much fun. Yup. It's a Gator. And I would venture that it's
about as much fun as you can have with a mix of novice/
intermediate players, right up through some of the best card
tossers around. Hope to see you there next year!
*****************
So don't miss out, go to www.firesides.net/gator.htm and place
your bids now for the celebrity of your choice!
****************************************************************
--- Rainbow Morning Classes, 8:00 A.M. PST ---
Starting on February 2nd, 2004, the Rainbow Series will
begin
here on OKBridge. We are in the process of automating this
popular series so this may be your last chance to attend with a
real live instructor. Just show up at the KALTICA table at 8:00
A.M. PST and enjoy! See you there!
Mon Feb 2 8AM Lesson 1: Opening Bids
Wed Feb 4 8AM Lesson 2: Responses to Opening Bids
Fri May 6 8AM Lesson 3: Rebidding Strategies
Mon Feb 9 8AM Lesson 4: Dealing with Interference
Wed Feb 11 8AM Lesson 5: Simple Overcalls & Takeout Doubles
Fri Feb 13 8AM Lesson 6: Two-Suited Overcalls
Mon Jun 16 8AM Lesson 7: Pre-Empts
Wed Feb 18 8AM Lesson 8: Competing with Doubles
Fri Feb 20 8AM Lesson 9: Lebensohl
Mon Feb 27 8AM Lesson 10: Defensive Signalling
Wed Mar 1 8AM Lesson 11: Defence
Fri Mar 3 8AM Lesson 12: Declarer Play
****************************************************************
Distribution Most Foul by Richard
Pavlicek
Bad breaks abound on these problems, but have no fear: Jane
Marple is on the case! Your goal as her assistant is to cope
with the foul distribution you will discover. Unfortunately,
despite Miss Marple's insistence, Scotland Yard won't even
acknowledge that a crime has been committed. So be careful!
If you dig too deep, you might unearth a corpse or two.
http://www.rpbridge.net/7x65.htm
Results of the January bidding poll "Wily Alvin Led USA in Tie"
will be posted February 3, 2004.
For these, and everything else related to the monthly polls and
contests, go to:
http://www.rpbridge.net/rppc.htm
*********************************************************
That's a wrap for this month! Congratulations again to Bill
and Sue and rush over to check out the Gator site. Plus, a
plea to send me all your news -- if you think it's important,
it likely would be of interest to all your friends at
Fireside!
Hugs....Janice
**********************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who
write for The Chat, we want to note that our other
commentators also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
The lessons can be more affordable than you might
think, especially mentoring games. We think our
commentators give you your money's worth when you
choose private lessons, and they really value your
business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one what
you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
We know that it isn't always easy to find a 'friendly' game.
We hope this new site will be a plus in your OKB experience
by helping our friends schedule games with each other.
Visit:
http://www.firesides.net/playdate.htm
and follow the directions to set up a table others can join, or
to join a game someone else has scheduled. You'll receive emails
notifying you as others join the same games.
If you wish to reserve a seat in one of the listed mentoring
games, which are supported by the people attending, we
suggest you do so, and also contact the mentoring commentator
for info.
We have tested this site, but we won't be surprised to hear
of a bug or two. Please let us know at kaltica@mts.net if
you encounter any problems serving, joining, or canceling a
game, or if you have any suggestions.
Have fun!
********************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program?
An event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of
us? A question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for
us to visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to
miss anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside,
it's easy now! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet,
here are some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has
developed to enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm
(Note that IGITSAP must be in CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
*****************************************************
December Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, February 12, 6:00 P.M. and Saturday,
February 21, at 12:00 P.M. A low-key introduction
to the tourney experience, sponsored by Fifth Chair...
see www.fifthchair.org for more info on this and
their other services, including getting a mentor.
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sundays, 5:00 P.M. February 8 and 22.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at firesider@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically
in your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions.
After clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section.
Write an email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer
your questions.
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@bellsouth.net
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Tuna for these giggles:
Actual Announcements Taken From Church Bulletins:
Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10
and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church
secretary.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some
older ones.
Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week
for testes.
The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation
who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other
items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple
children.
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed
potatoes, green beans, bread and desserts will be served
for a nominal feel.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge---Up
Yours."
This evening at 7pm, there will be a sing in the park
across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared
to sin.
========================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
A Sporting Chance
During the past few years, the World Bridge Federation
has mounted a campaign with the International Olympic
Committee to get our game recognized as a sport and in due
course become one of the events at the Olympic Games. Sadly,
these efforts have so far come to naught and the prospects
appear dim that bridge will be considered as a sporting
endeavour.
If the definition of sport encompasses purely athletic
traits, then it could be argued that bridge doesn't quite meet
those parameters. Tennis, for example, is a sport in the
narrowest sense in that it's basically all physical and
depends totally on reaction time and hand/eye co-ordination.
Baseball and golf are much the same, although there are
certainly mental and strategic aspects to both games.
However, with the Super Bowl fast approaching, it isn't a
stretch by any means to compare bridge with the sport of
football.
Football, for all of it's smash-mouth reputation, is very
much a cerebral game. It features constantly-shifting
strategy, deep-laid plans and the need for adjustments to
counteract what the opposition is doing. Quarterbacks and
defensive captains can't set the wheels in motion until they
receive the play call from the coaches on the sidelines. It's
also a game of intimidation, much of which is psychological in
addition to a test of machismo. Most of all, what defines
winners and losers is the ability to keep the opponents
guessing and plant a seed of uncertainty and confusion in
their minds. Does that sound like a sport that we bridge
players are all familiar with?
All true, you might say, but where is the physical
challenge of bridge that qualifies it to be designated as a
sport? Well, I'm not going to argue the point a lot, but a
typical football game runs the course of three hours of which
a player will actually be on the field for about a quarter to
a third of the actual time. Baseball has even longer periods
of inactivity, whether you are on offense or defense. A
bridge player at a regional or ACBL Nationals typically will
play up to nine hours a day for nearly an entire week. So you
tell me whether bridge is a sport or not. I would submit that
if you use only the narrowest definition of sport as ongoing
and constant physical exertion, then you'd have soccer, tennis
and not much else.
Still with the football comparison, there is a saying in
the NFL that "offense sells tickets and defense wins
championships." That is absolutely true of bridge as well,
even at the top levels. You often see the best players in the
world mess up an auction or misguess the layout of a hand. But
the perennial winners usually make very few mistakes in the
course of defending a hand.
Good defense requires the ability to visualize the entire
picture from the meager clues available from the bidding and
the line of play taken by the declarer. You have to remember
your objective and have an effective game plan that will be
able to secure victory for the good guys.
Here's exhibit #1, both vulnerable at teams, with you
occupying the West chair:
S-- KJ96 H-- AQ3 D-- J872 C-- 93
The auction goes:
South West North East
pass pass 1NT pass
pass pass
True, we might have balanced with a double, but
my choice with a balanced sub-minimum opener is to pass.
Perhaps we can beat the contract if partner leads his
best suit, instead of rolling the dice by taking action
in the bidding. At any rate, partner leads the 4 of
hearts and dummy lays down:
S-- A542 H-- J75 D-- 93 C-- 10762
First decision is the play to the first trick. Your
partnership style is attitude leads against notrump contract,
meaning to start with as high a card as you can afford from a
long but week suit, and to begin with a low spot card if you
have strength. So partner is a favourite to have the King of
hearts as his lead was a low spot. Now, at the same time, we
have to figure out a way of taking seven tricks. Hearts look
as if they're good for four or five tricks. Spades will get
us one for sure, perhaps even more if partner has the Queen.
It's difficult to say what is going on in the minor suits.
Quite a few defenders would be quite willing play off the
assumed heart winners and take it from there. Some might
signal to ask partner to lead back a spade once the hearts are
taken. Others might see the need to attack a side suit and
play back a spade after winning the first trick. However, we
can't really be sure whether partner or declarer has the
missing Queen in the spade suit.
We'd like to plan our defense in a way that is accurate
but also keeps the various options open and gives partner the
information he needs to co-operate effectively. Best here is
to play the Queen of hearts (that will reveal that you have
the Ace as well if it wins) and return a diamond. But not
just any diamond. We have no real burning interest in partner
returning the suit, and are merely trying to set up tricks in
HIS hand. So our return will be the 8 of diamonds, and now
our comrade should be able to go right in the defense. The
entire hand is:
North
S-- Q103
H-- 962
D-- AQ65
West C-- AQJ East
S-- KJ96 S-- 87
H-- AQ3 H-- K1084
D-- J872 D-- K104
C-- 93 South C-- K854
S-- A542
H-- J75
D-- 93
C-- 10762
It's an interesting hand since on a low diamond back,
North might put in a hopeful Queen. However, if it's ducked to
the 10, you might get the King of diamonds back from partner,
which you certainly don't want. On the eight of diamonds
switch the defense will get seven or perhaps even eight
tricks, to defeat the contract handily. If the defense takes
their hearts immediately, 1NT is still beatable but there
can't be any slipups or declarer might be allowed to make.
Next hand up illustrates the necessity of counting the
probable tricks and taking the appropriate measures to give
the defense it's best chance.
Again playing teams, you get dealt the following
collection of pasteboards in the South chair:
S-- 763 H-- Q64 D-- K7 C-- A8642
The opponents sail into game on the
following bidding:
East West
1C 1S
2NT 3H
4H
Partner leads the 3 of clubs and you
now see dummy appear with:
S-- A105 H-- AKJ7 D-- QJ6 C-- QJ10
Winning the ace of clubs, we now take stock of the
defensive prospects. In hearts we have one trick and no more.
How about spades? Considering that responder has forced game,
the outlook is rather bleak there. We could have a trick if
partner has Qx and declarer misguesses, but otherwise we
pretty much out of luck on that front. At any rate, we can't
count on any spade winners for the defense.
That being the case, we'd have to get three minor suit
tricks to beat their game. Can partner have a singleton club?
If so, then he gets a club ruff but then declarer would be
void in diamonds and has only one more loser. A doubleton is
out of the question since he's led the three and you can see
the 2 in your hand. So partner has led from a three-card
suit, and that is consistent with the bidding, declarer having
shown nine or more cards in the major suits.
The missing honours in the minors are the Ace of diamonds
and King of clubs. If partner has both those cards, then
declarer will always be going down. So we'll assume partner
has one and declarer the other. If the opening leader has the
club King, we get two club tricks and an eventual heart, but
that is the end of the defense, as the West has the diamond
Ace and will have no losers in either pointed suits.
Therefore, we must assume partner has the card that will
enable us to defeat the contract, namely the Ace of diamonds.
So it's imperative we switch to our doubleton King, as any
delay will permit declarer to toss a diamond on dummy's third
club. If LHO has the Ace of diamonds, don't worry about it
since you were never destined to beat the contract. The
entire hand is:
East
S-- A105
H-- AKJ7
D-- QJ6
North C-- QJ10 South
S-- 94 S-- 763
H-- 105 H-- Q64
D-- A108432 D-- K7
C-- 753 C-- A8642
West
S-- KQJ82
H-- 9832
D-- 95
C-- K9
At the table, South returned a club, won by declarer's
King. West now spurned the heart finesse, taking the AK of
trumps from dummy and pitching one of his diamond losers on
the club. But if South is appraising the defensive assets, we
can reach the conclusion that a diamond shift is probably the
best chance to scuttle West's hopes.
Finally, we have a hand in which a quick counter is
needed by the defense to foil declarer's plan.
IMPs again, and as North we are blessed with:
S-- Q54 H-- K6 D-- 10853 C-- Q975
This time, we have a moderately spirited
auction, both sides vul:
West North East South
1C pass 1H 1S
pass 2S 3C pass
pass pass
You lead the 4 of spades, and with a
flourish dummy tables with:
S-- 6 H-- QJ754 D-- AQ6 C-- 8643
West takes the Ace of spades and advances
the 10 of hearts as you take the King. What now?
Our hero saw the opportunity to promote a second
trump winner and fired back a second heart, after
which the contract was secure, as the layout was:
North
S-- Q54
H-- K6
D-- 10853
West C-- Q975 East
S-- A1053 S-- 6
H-- 109 H-- QJ754
D-- 974 D-- AQ6
C-- AKJ10 C-- 8643
South
S-- KJ872
H-- A832
D-- KJ2
C-- 2
South returned another heart and declarer shed a diamond.
North ruffed and belatedly switched to diamonds, but it was
too late, as West rose with dummy's ace, played off two club
winners and trumped a spade. Now another top heart and West's
last diamond was pitched. N-S got two hearts and two clubs,
but declarer had no other losers and 3C rolled home.
First of all, North could always return the second heart
when he got in with the club Queen to get his uppercut in the
trump suit, so it wasn't crucial that he do that right away.
Since West wasn't drawing trumps, he clearly had some
potential losers, obviously in spades. But declarer wasn't
trumping spades immediately. Why? If he had the diamond King,
the play would be straightforward, ruff a spade, back to hand
with a diamond, ruff another spade and draw trumps. Since
declarer is playing on hearts and not taking the spade ruffs,
that is a strong indication that he does NOT have the King of
diamonds. North must counter, therefore, by taking the heart
King and switching to diamonds. Now declarer is obliged to
take the finesse and down he goes, as the defense gets a
diamond, two hearts, and two eventual clubs, as North will
play back the second heart when he gets in with the club
Queen. So the trump promotion is required at some point, but
to get all their tricks, the defense has to get a diamond in
addition to their rounded suit winners.
In bridge, as in football, the offensive pyrotechnics of
spectacular bidding are nice to watch, but it's the grunt work
in the trenches of defense where the laurels of victory are
garnered.
See you next month!
********************
You can write to Wintaka (Bill Treble) at: bbtreble@mts.net
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Wintaka and Kaltica present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series)
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised play
sessions. Email Bill (bbtreble@mts.net) or Colin
(kaltica@mts.net) for more information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Nancor for this giggle:
There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to
the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert,
he breaks down.
After about three hours, he waves another truck down and
offers the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo
for him.
The next day, the original truck driver arrives in town and
sees the new truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins
walking in single file behind him.
The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks,
"What's going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to
the zoo!"
The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo.
And, I had enough money left over so now we're going to see a
movie."
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
A Brave New World
*****************
Here is a hand which came up during a mentoring game
this week. N-S were playing 2/1-GF, so 2H was a game force.
MP Dlr: South
S 64 Vul: Both
H AKQT65
D K84
S KJ7 C K6 S T95
H 43 H 8
D A76 D QJT9532
C Q7432 S AQ832 C T5
H J972
D
C AJ98
West North East South
1S
Pass 2H* Pass 4D
Pass 4NT Pass 5H
Pass 6H Pass Pass
Pass
4D was a splinter: an interesting choice for South.
If North had as little as S-King and H-AKxxxx 7H might be
cold. Even if North had S-King and H-AKxxx (i.e. only five
Hearts) 7H would not be grossly anti-percentage (about 52%).
The problem is that the splinter of 4D could well
have been made with a stronger hand or with a singleton
Diamond. How can South show the void and the minimum
after splintering?
The void is rather easy to show. When North bids
4NT (Roman Key Card Blackwood in this case) South should
have bid 5NT to show an even number of Key Cards (or Aces,
if they were playing normal Blackwood) and a void. North
would instantly know from the 4D splinter that the void
would be in Diamonds.
But how can North determine that South has a
minimum? North should not sign off in 6H after finding
out that the pairs has solid trumps and first round
control of all three side suits. South could have had
S-AKQxx, making 7H an easy proposition.
Over the proposed 5NT response to 4NT, then, North
must make a grand slam try of some sort in case South is
at the top of her range. How might North do this?
Again, easy. 6D could not possibly be a proposed
contract here, given South's void there and the established
fit in Hearts. 6D could only be seen as a slam try, telling
South that the pair has all the trump honours and first
round controls necessary for 7H. With a minimum South will
stop in 6H. Add another black honour to South's holding,
though, and the way would be paved to 7H. On this deal,
then, the auction should have gone:
West North East South
1S
Pass 2H* Pass 4D
Pass 4NT Pass 5NT
Pass 6D Pass 6H
Much has been made of the superiority of online play:
self-alerts, hand records, no insufficient bids, bids out
of turn, misdeals, revokes, etc. The above deal made me
think about some of the advantages of the online learning
environment. After talking about how Roman Key Card works,
the students can be directed to a web source for more
information, such as you will find at:
http://www.firesides.net/rkc.htm
The advantages only begin there. The student can
avail themselves of the contributions of a wide variety
of mentors. The Firesides, for example, benefit from
the participation of teachers from three different countries.
Some "specialize" in systems (e.g. SAYC, 2/1-GF or Acol) but
all are familiar with the former two, at least.
Ask yourself this: If you had never joined OKBridge
would you know what the 4 Point Principle is?
http://www.firesides.net/4pp.htm
Would you have heard of Maxi-Flex?
http://www.firesides.net/kaleido2.htm
How about LOTUS?
http://www.firesides.net/rainbo6.htm
Online lessons are also portioned out in digestible
chunks. After a two or three hour Face-to-Face ("F2F")
lesson the student's eyes may be glazed over--everything
after the first hour or so may be a blur! On OKBridge,
one can enjoy a Fireside, take a nap, come back and play
in a MiniTourney with a private tutor, have dinner and
then return to play in or watch a mentoring game.
Note that the entire idea of a MiniTourney would make
little sense in F2F play; it would take us longer to get
to our local Club than it would to play the twelve boards.
Firesides in F2F bridge? Difficult, at best, without the
"operating theatre" setup. Gators in F2F play? Can't
accommodate that many spectators without Vugraph for both
tables. Mentoring games at your local club? Possible,
but inconvenienced by the absence of a Browser record.
Stick with us while we explore this brave new world
of online play together.
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Kaltica and Wintaka present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series),
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Colin (kaltica@mts.net) or
Bill (bbtreble@mts.net) for more information.
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Moogal for this one:
Recently, when a panel of doctors at our local hospital
was asked to vote on adding a new wing, this is what
happened....
The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of
nerve.
The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a
misconception.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
The pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"
The pediatricians said, "Grow up."
The proctologists said, "We are in arrears."
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole
thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.
The plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on
the matter."
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
The urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.
And the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
So, The HMOs killed it.
=============================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
|
F
|
I
|
R
|
E
|
S
|
I
|
D
|
E
|
S
|
Ocbober, 2001
|
November, 2001
|
December, 2001
|
|
January, 2002
|
February, 2002
|
March, 2002
|
April, 2002
|
May, 2002
|
June, 2002
|
July, 2002
|
August, 2002
|
September, 2002
|
October, 2002
|
November, 2002
|
December, 2002
|
January, 2003
|
February, 2003
|
March, 2003
|
April, 2003
|
May, 2003
|
June, 2003
|
July, 2003
|
August, 2003
|
September, 2003
|
October, 2003
|
November, 2003
|
December, 2003
|
|
January, 2004
|
February, 2004
|
March, 2004
|
April, 2004
|
May, 2004
|
June, 2004
|
July, 2004
|
August, 2004
|
September, 2004
|
October, 2004
|
November, 2004
|
December, 2004
|
|
January, 2005
|
February, 2005
|
March, 2005
|
April, 2005
|
May, 2005
|
June, 2005
|
July, 2005
|
August, 2005
|
September, 2005
|
October, 2005
|
November, 2005
|
December, 2005
|
