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Fireside Chat
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FIRESIDE CHAT SEPTEMBER 2003
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Welcome and Announcements
Believer's FireSide Kindling
Bidding with Bridgboy
Dealing With Dann
Moogal's FireSide Log
Treble's Table Talk
And Finally Kaltica
=======================================
WELCOME AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Hi all!
Welcome to the September, 2003 issue of FireSide
Chat, our monthly newsletter written for and about
our FireSide friends and events.
We hope you enjoy all of this month's articles and
features. Please feel free to write to us with any
comments, questions, ideas, or whatever, that you may
wish to share. This newsletter is for and about you,
and we want you to feel welcome to participate. Just
email Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com or Moogal
at Moocake@aol.com.
A special thanks to all of you who have been sending
us contributions for our "giggle breaks". We appreciate
everything you send, and use as many as we can. Keep
'em coming, please! :-)
You can find current and past issues of this "FireSide
Chat" newsletter posted at our FireSide web site:
http://www.firesides.net/thechat.htm
If, for any reason, you do not wish to receive
these mailings, please write to Believer at
sarastobbe@aol.com to be removed from our mailing
list.
===========================================
CURRENT FIRESIDE SCHEDULE
Day Pacific Time Commentator
MON 11:00 A.M. POOKA
MON 5:00 P.M.* BRIDGBOY
TUE 11:00 A.M. BRIDGBOY
TUE 5:30 P.M. WINTAKA
WED 11:00 A.M. FREDW3
WED 5:30 P.M. DIANEW
THU 11:00 A.M. POOKA
THU 5:30 P.M. WISHTRIK
FRI 11:00 A.M. BLUEBEE
FRI 5:30 P.M. KALTICA
Commentators may change without notice,
according to their availability.
(*starts 1/2 hour earlier on Monday night)
*******************
Although there is no set fee for participating in
these "open to all" sessions, please note that FireSide
Bidding Practice Sessions operate with the support of
those in attendance. For information about how to
become a supporting member, please contact Kaltica at
kaltica@mts.net, Moogal at moocake@aol.com, or
Believer at sarastobbe@aol.com.
Thanks to all of you for supporting the FireSide sessions
in all the many different ways you have of doing so.
We want to thank our commentators for their dedication
and caring. Please, think of them when you are thinking
of taking private lessons, paying a professional to play
tourneys with you, getting involved in a group session
mentoring program... most, if not all, of our commentators
and contributors to this newsletter are available for those
services. Just think how much easier it is to learn
from someone who's already a friend!
*******************
All articles herein (c) 2003 by FireSide Chat.
All rights reserved.
===============================================
BELIEVER'S FIRESIDE KINDLING
============================
HI :) It feels good to be back home, though I'm still
trying to get settled back into a routine. What a busy
few weeks I had!
I had fun though, and that's what it's all about. I
was so happy to spend time with OKb friends, meet a
few new faces, and get to have fun with all of 'em.
We ate like royalty, on both of my trips -- I think
I gained 5 lbs :-( ...or more! It was a great way
to spend time with Colin, Janice, Bill, Dann, Pam, Gail
and Bill, Dloye, Deb and Richard, Caroleigh, and a few
others. It was even fun having breakfast with Jan,
tho she saw fit to dump my bottle of water into my
purse as we were leaving! (only damage was a few
cough drops, everything else dried nicely)
I spent most of my playing time in the 99'ers sections,
where I tend to feel more comfortable and less apt
to get into trouble for forgetting to alert, etc. I
did find out this trip that "playing up" is not as
intimidating as I once thought it was -- it had to be
my partners who made me feel so comfortable and
unthreatened. I had some wonderful partners :)
In Long Beach I got to play with Guido, Ian, and
Justjill, and in Calgary I got to play with GoFigure,
Frodo, FPDoc, and Dloye. What a neat group of folks!
But vacation is over, and Fireside should be back on
track without so many disruptions now -- hoping to see
all of you there in the next couple of weeks. Don't
forget the Mentor Cup games too, every other Sunday --
we have a lot of fun playing in those.
We've gotten most of our Fireside sessions all set
with table managers now, but we still have a need for
someone to take the Wednesday morning session with
FredW3 on a permanent basis. If you think you'd be
interested, let me know.
And, as always, please keep our commentators in mind
when you think of taking lessons, or to play with you
in a tourney. They do a great job at the Fireside
sessions, and I know they will do a great job for you
when it comes to personal sessions, too.
Take care, all, and I'll see you next month!
********************
You can write to Believer (Sara Stobbe) at:
sarastobbe@aol.com
============================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to JustJill for this grin:
The Smile Starter!
Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner,
and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realized,
I'd passed it to him.
I thought about that smile,
then I realized its worth.
A single smile just like mine,
could travel 'round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected.
=================================================
BIDDING WITH BRIDGBOY
=====================
Recently we discussed the concept of fit and the importance of
discovering if one existed. We did not define duplication of
values but any player who has looked at a void across from
the AKQ of that suit will know exactly what I mean.
Also in prior articles we have mentioned that bidding just to
hear yourself speak and make noise only aids the opponents and
allows them to better visualize the cards around the table.
Here is a hand that points out both ideas clearly:
We pick up
S 432
H AJ952
D Q92
C A8
The auction goes as follows:
Pard RHO You LHO
1D P 1H 1S
2H 2S ?
After the two spade bids we can see partner's relative
shortness. Spades are likely 5-3-3-2 or even 5-4-3-1
around the table So we should be very encouraged about
prospects for this hand now. I suggest 3D to let partner in
on the good fit we have for him there. It is 100% forcing
and encouraging. Now lefty makes another of those silly 3S
calls that do nothing but help reinforce for us that partner
has that stiff spade! This takes up no room at all -- better,
if he is going to bid, is to bid 4S to shut us up. Partner
freely bids 4H and that is all we need to hear.
Give partner an opening bid and a stiff spade. It's easy now
to see that all his points will be in the other three suits
exactly where we need them. In fact, if you try to visualize
his opening bid you will think slam!
And no surprise, this is his hand:
S x
H KQxx
D AKJxx
C xxx.
12 tricks come rolling home. And all we did was listen and
formulate the unseen hands. First and most important, the fits
were there, and we had all the side controls and source of
tricks to make slam a good proposition. Sure, we were aided by
the opponents' spade bids, but that is why opponents were put
on this earth -- namely, to help us get top scores! :)
Look for those fits, and when you see them expect good things
to happen for your side!
********************
You can find Bridgboy (Bob Lavin) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday evenings at 5:00 p.m., and Tuesdays
at 11:00 a.m. OKbridge time.
Anyone interested in one-on-one lessons on any topic of
the game may contact Bob at bridgboy@charter.net
===================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Tuna for these headlines:
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Drunk gets nine months in violin case
Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents
Farmer Bill dies in house
Iraqi head seeks arms
Stud tires out
Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
British left waffles on Falkland Islands
Eye drops off shelf
Teacher strikes idle kids
Squad helps dog bite victim
Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
Miners refuse to work after death
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
Stolen painting found by tree
Two soviet ships collide, one dies
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
War dims hope for peace
If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Enfields couple slain; Police suspect homicide
================================================================
DEALING WITH DANN
=================
HI folks
This month I'll do a follow up on Lebensohl -if you haven't read
last month's article, that would be a good place to start
(http://www.firesides.net/chat0308.htm)
This is LEBENSOHL part 2!
Last month the examples all avoided a 2c overcall. This was
intentional. Here is a modification to straight Lebensohl that
allows us to play Stayman with and without a stopper if the opps
overcall clubs (showing clubs!-I will cover artificial bids also)
If we are willing to lose an Invitational Diamond hand we can
adapt Lebensohl to show a club stop, e.g.
1NT - 2C- ?
3C - Stayman - no club stopper
or 2NT - forcing 3C from partner
3C - 3D by agreement this is Stayman showing a club stopper.
(Note: Last month this would be an invitational diamond hand but
we lose that to pick up Stayman with a stopper. This is a good
trade - trust me.)
Further NOTE - if we have an Invitational Diamond hand we must
decide whether it is forcing or not, we can no longer pass the
buck to partner.
Now we can handle the opps 2C overcall if it is natural. Let's
look at some way to handle artificial bid and conventions. The
way we handle artificial calls is to let the opps clarify the
situation, then we invoke Lebensohl. e.g.
1NT - 2C! (single suit) - P - 2D (forced)
P - ? (either pass = dias; H,S)
NOW, we use Lebensohl like the auction went 1NT - BID of the now
known suit. So if the auction went
1NT - 2C - P - 2D
P - P - ,
we treat it as 1NT - 2D, now systems are on as usual. (If we have
the weak hand we can bid immediately over 2C, which allows us to
show our suit before opps might bid above it. So if we have
diamonds or hearts the opps will bid 2S if we wait so we bid
immediately with weak hands)
Similarly if the Opps are using DONT (opps bid lowest of 2 suits)
you use Lebensohl based on the known (BID) suit. For
Cappeletti/Hamilton*, if the Capp call is 2C (single suit) we
handle as already covered, let the opponents clarify.
If Capp call is 2D (majors) we let the opps pick the suit then
Lebensohl based on the picked suit (just like a 2C single suit
hand)
eg. 1NT - 2D! - P - 2H
P - P - we Lebensohl on a 1NT-2H auction!
If the opps bid 2H/S showing the bid major and some minor
we ignore the minor and Lebensohl as if the major was the only
bid suit!
I hope these modifications to Lebensohl help you fully prepare
for battle!
Good luck, and happy bridging
Dann (POOKA)Kramer
*Freddy Hamilton once told me call it Hamilton if it works and
Cappeletti when it doesn't.
For those who don't know, the Convention is called both as the 2
players created it together while they were a strong partnership
(Mike Cappeletti SR. and Fred Hamilton)
********************
You will find Pooka (Dann Kramer) doing his FireSide
sessions on Monday and Thursday mornings, at 11:00 a.m.
OKbridge time.
Dann is available for one-on-one lessons, group mentoring
sessions, and/or tourney play.
For more information, write Dann at: pspeard@telusplanet.net
===========================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Benson for this giggle:
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a very rural
area. Luckily, Farmer Jones came to help with his big strong
horse named Hobo . . .
He hitched ole Hobo up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie,
pull!" Hobo didn't move a muscle... just flicked away a fly
with his tail. Then Jones hollered out, "C'mon, pull, Davey,
pull!" Again, ole Hobo didn't move. Once more the farmer
commanded, "Pull, Stetson, pull!" Nothing from Hobo. Then the
farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Hobo. C'mon, boy, pull!" And
the horse easily dragged the car up, out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked
the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three
times in a row. Wise Farmer Jones answered, "Well, ole, Hobo
here is blind as a bat. If he thought he was the only one
pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
===========================================================
MOOGAL'S FIRESIDE LOG
======================
OKB Tourneys
Well done to all our Fireside friends who excelled in
the tourneys this past month!!
Fri Aug 1 16:00 2003
Rank Team Score Boards
1 Kaltica/moogal 70.99 12
Sun Aug 17 11:00 2003
Rank Team Score Boards
1 ferrari/pama 72.68 11
Tue Aug 19 18:00 2003
Rank Team Score Boards
1 daisyann/dbetter 4.14 12
Sat Aug 30 16:00 2003
Rank Team Score Boards
1 dloye/k-Boy1 56.98 27
There are now 12 tourneys a day, not possible for me
to check each one....so if you win a tourney, let me
know! We want everyone's name up in lights!
****************************************************************
NOVICE MENTOR TOURNEYS
Congrats to our winners of the two Novice-Mentor tourneys in
July.
And well done to all our top finishers:
Thu Aug 14 18:00 2003
Rank Team Score Boards
1 kai/knight 64.42 20
2 joe_rv/otao/TournNov 60.00 15
3 lfisher/txbridge 57.96 20
4 janine/rosinha 56.25 18
5 PollyE/spade 51.71 19
6 andyedw/slim 51.17 20
Sat Aug 16 12:00 2003
Rank Team Score Boards
1 jasa/mrjames 70.56 18
2 corn/irshsetr 67.92 18
3 andyh/Patricia 58.57 18
4 aacostel/dorrcas 56.37 17
5 peter_5/Sampson 52.08 18
Mentors and novices, join us this month on the 11th
and on the 20th - email Sandra at sandree@attbi.com
if you would like to find a partner ahead of time.
We'll do our best to match you up! I promise
you a fun evening.
****************************************************************
FIRESIDE'S MENTOR CUP GAME
August 24: Team GAUS271: Gaus271, JudyDee, Toddy and JerryS1
Only one game this month, due to travels. Congrats to team
Alex!
Visit our website at www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and
lists of all our top placing stars. To get on the email reminder
list for these games, contact me moocake@aol.com - all welcome!
****************************************************************
Well done to Sara (BELIEVER) and Gail (FRODO)! Their brilliant
game-killing defense was featured in the August Spectator!
Here's the story, in case you missed it:
Tony Reus, our eminent tournament director, commends his
opponents for a very fine defense that earned them 94% of the
matchpoints on the next deal.
Dlr: West Vul: None MPs
North
S 10532
H KJ10432
D K4
C K
West East
Believer Frodo
S 86 S AQJ7
H A H Q95
D Q1065 D J97
C 1097643 C J85
South
S K94
H 876
D A832
C AQ2
West North East South
believer Glen Frodo Tuna
pass pass pass 1D
pass 1H pass 1NT
pass 4H pass pass
pass
Glen received the devastating lead of the S-Q which not
unreasonably declarer ducked. Frodo continued with ace and
another spade. Believer ruffed the third spade with her ace,
and of course and Frodo later won her H-Q for the setting
trick. Any passive lead allows declarer to romp home.
****************************************************************
Crossroads of Eternal Hope by Richard Pavlicek
You've finally reached the crossroads in life. Is there any
hope for you? Find out in this new bidding poll open to all
bridge players. Just click a checkbox next to the call you
prefer on six problems from a past tournament. As a side
challenge, you may wish to guess when or where the tourney
was held. Try it! It's fun. Opens September 1.
http://www.rpbridge.net/7y49.htm
Results of the August play contest "The Game Is Afoot"
(ending August 31) will be posted September 3.
Contest/Quiz: http://www.rpbridge.net/7x41.htm
Analyses: http://www.rpbridge.net/7x48.htm
Scores: http://www.rpbridge.net/7x47.htm
Overall: http://www.rpbridge.net/7v97.htm
Bot Results: http://www.rpbridge.net/7x97.htm
Or how about these "Bridge Groaners"....here's a hint:
one of our own Fireside Commentators appears!
Answers at the end of my column.
If someone said that Bobby would be a nicer guy if he
didn't Wolff down his food, it would probably get a groan
in bridge circles. How many of these famous players can you
identify by the intended puns?
1. Bill doesn't play very often, but he knows which team to
________ for.
2. Al converted his investments to a ________ I.R.A.
3. Eric went fishing and got his reel all tangled, but he held
the ________.
4. Bob ordered ________ eggs for breakfast.
5. Lynn was a good student except for the occasional ________ on
her report card.
6. Richard got his parole and is now a ________.
7. Michael joined the Navy and became a ________ First Class.
8. Kathie said there was no ________ she could lose.
9. Nick wouldn't give a ________ for his chances to win the
Vanderbilt.
10. Billy held up his glass and proposed a toast: "It's ________
time!"
****************************************************************
August saw me heading off to another bridge adventure! Colin
and I had decided to play in the Red Deer Calcutta (See
Colin's article for details on how this works.) which would
be followed by a week in Calgary for their regional. First
problem was getting there -- seems you have to fly via
Australia to get there from Miami!
I arrived in Calgary on a Friday afternoon, and Dann (POOKA)
was kind enough to pick me up at the airport and make sure I
got a ride to Red Deer. Thanks Dann!
The experience in Red Deer was "educational" :) I didn't feel
we were playing that badly, but any mistake was costly and the
opps weren't giving us any breaks. We finished -44 imps over
4 sessions, with the only consolation being that Colin told me
this was the toughest field I had ever played in. Hardly makes
13th out of 14 more palatable!
Some of that minus was of my own doing...we're playing behind
screens, and I'm passing thruout a detailed auction by the
opps. I place a pass card (I think!) on the try in the middle
of a live auction, which gets pushed through the screen. A
few seconds later the tray comes back, and sitting in front of
me is a double card. Where did that come from, I ask. You
doubled, my opponent tells me. Panicked, I called the TD,
but of course nothing to be done, 3HX was the contract, making
4 of course. They really should make those cards different
colors.:))
I'll skip over the revoke. Oh well...It was good for the
soul.:)
On to Calgary and, hopefully, better results!
Special thanks to Colin's dear friend Caroleigh Houghton, an
ex-Winnipegger, who generously took in Colin, Billy, Billy's
partner Dave McLellan (his COPC co-champion), and me. How
gracious to put us up for an entire week!
Good luck smiled us on when we met our other house-mate for
the week, Caroleigh's nephew Brian Ransom, from Vancouver.
Brian had traveled to the tourney with his partner, Kathy
Bye, but they hadn't arranged for teammates. Since we also
had no teammates (tough quiz, who was supposed to arrange for
this and didn't?) we jumped at the chance to join their team.
Brian is not only very handsome but a wonderful cook! On the
spot I offered him my unmarried daughter. :)
Side note: Brian and Caroleigh were both in the Bridge
Bulletin this month, Brian for attaining Life Master and
Caroleigh for reaching Diamond rank. Congrats to both!
My only problem was sharing a bathroom with four men, three of
them bachelors. Guess how many times I fell into the toilet
in the dark. :)
At the playing site, we had the joy of hanging out with other
local and visiting Firesiders -- Dann (POOKA), Sara
(BELIEVER), Gail (FRODO), her husband Bill (GOFIGURE), Danilo
(SHADE), Deb (FPDOC), Alice (AMBER), D'loye (DLOYE), Andy
(CAPTAIN) and his wife CURLEY. Make sure you check out our
pictures, kindly posted by ANDRE55 at:
http://www.attcanada.net/~andre55.msn/Calgary.html
I have a new first to add to my tournament experiences --
disqualified! Our Monday night KO team had around 50 points
too many for the bracket we were in. I knew there was a
reason I have Colin's ACBL number written on the back of my
own membership card. OK now, how many of you know, say within
a hundred or so, how many master points you have?? Sigh, I
have a new job when we head out next -- check Colin's master
point total! It was not for this reason that I had hoped to be
the talk of the tourney!
Brian and Kathy were perfect teammates tho...they didn't
blink. We agreed to play the morning KO's instead, starting
Wednesday. I promised to roust Colin out of bed, which I
suspected would be even tougher than getting him to the OKB
tourney table on time. I don't have an easy life.:). I had to
tell Colin after he woke up after the final on Saturday that
we had actually won.
Thanks also to Marlene (NANTICA) and Wendy who played
extremely well to push us on the way to a B Swiss win.
Another first, I was part of an appeal. I open and pass. P-
P-1D-X-2NT by me, limit raise in diamonds with D-AKxxx. Colin
neglects to alert. Also, I had chosen to hide a spade suit of
Q222. Opps bid to 4S, down many when they are repeatedly
forced in diamonds. The director is called, and opponents
claim that we have a hidden agreement to bypass 4 card majors.
Decision is that the lack of alert did not cause damage, and
that my bid was reasonable bridge judgment in that auction.
After the opps left the table, the TD comes back and asks "Did
they really complain about Jan's bid and not mention Colin's
opening on two queens?" "Yup" :)
After the round, TD comes back with an official looking
printout that we have to sign. Opps have appealed and it was
going to committee. I'm getting nervous, but all we had to do
was go and listen, agree to the facts, and then get a decision
in our favor!
During the KO's, we tended to get a big lead early. Would you
believe Colin turned into a combo of Mr. Roth and Mr. Stone??
I think a pod has taken over my partner's body! However, he
really did remember to bring a large stash of candy bars for
my mid-session munchies!
You may remember me telling you all about Judy (JKH)
describing Jim's (JBOT) body language when he was unhappy with
her bidding or play. We all rolled as she imitated the
squirming and grimacing. Colin is forever lecturing me on
keeping a poker face (as he usually does) -- so I had to be
giggling as one hand he showed his displeasure at my defense
by leaning back in his chair and tossing cards seemingly at
random. Flip-frown, flip-frown, flip-frown.:) OK, dear, I'll
lead a club next time.:))
Is it any surprise that when I won a door prize for traveling
the longest distance to the tournament, I chose the one shaped
like a bottle? :)
Alice Thomas (AMBER), who was just a sweetheart in person, and
who achieved Bronze Life Master status during the tourney,
sent me this note:
What a delight to meet some of the "OKB gang"! Colin was my
first teacher on OKB. I knew he would be a fine fellow.
Playing against Colin and Gail, my bidding was dubious and my
play of one hand was downright rotten but in spite of that I
left the table with a grin on my face. Colin's witty remarks
ease the pain of defeat. Ha! Janice was warm and charming.
Shh..at our table she talked quite a bit about food.:)
And...she can whip out a camera faster than 'Annie-get-your-
gun'. My admiration grew for Bill (WINTAKA). I was playing on
a KO team in flight A (Knees aknockin' in my boots...first
time ever in Flight A). We were in a round robin. Bill's
partner opened a minor, Bill bid a heart and his partner bid
3NT. It was not necessary, but Bill took the time to say:
"Before you lead, I shall tell you that although my partner
and I have not played much together, I think he has a
long running suit and has not much interest in my hearts." As
a player with much to learn, I greatly appreciated this
helpful remark. In fact, I went on to bid 3NT with a hand such
as he had described, not once, but twice, for good boards. To
all the other "OKBers" it was great to meet you. I understand
Andy (This is the captain speaking!) was also there. I would
have liked to have shook his hand.
Congrats on getting that Bronze, Alice!
Firesiders rocked in the Calgary Regional! Special well done
to Gail who carried Colin to a pairs win, something I couldn't
accomplish! It's clear from the extensive list of names below
that OKB and Fireside give us an unparalleled edge over club
players!
TUESDAY EVE 99ER PAIRS
18 Pairs
MPs D E F Names
1.19 2 Gail Hyland, Leavenworth WA; Danilo Fiorenzano,
Grande
Prairie AB
TUESDAY AFT 99ER PAIRS
18 Pairs
MPs D E F Names
1.58 3 1 Gail Hyland, Leavenworth WA; Sara Stobbe, Dearborn
Hts MI
TUESDAY B-A-M TEAMS
26 Teams
MPs A B C Names Score
13.86 1 Mike Yuen - Les Fouks, Vancouver BC; Dave McLellan,
Thunder
Bay ON; Bill Treble, Winnipeg MB
TUESDAY OPEN PAIRS
62 Pairs
MPs A B C Names
14.35 1 Brian Ransom, West Vancouver BC; Kathy Bye, Burnaby
BC
AFTERNOON SIDE GM SERIES
82 Pairs
MPs A B C Names
2.39 3 Gail Hyland, Leavenworth WA; Danilo Fiorenzano, Grande
Prairie AB
OPEN PAIRS
56 Pairs
MPs Rank Names Score
6.42 5 Andy Anderson - Curley Anderson, Saskatoon SK
AFTERNOON SIDE GM SERIES
44 Pairs
MPs A B C Names
2.39 4 3 2 Gail Hyland, Leavenworth WA; Danilo Fiorenzano,
Grande Prairie AB
THURSDAY OPEN SWISS
52 Teams
MPs A B C Names
20.90 2 Dann Kramer, Calgary AB; Kis Fung - Tom Gandolfo -
Piotr Klimowicz, Edmonton AB
3.64 7/10 Susan Culham - Maurice De La Salle, Edmonton AB; Mike
Yuen, Vancouver BC; Bill Treble, Winnipeg MB
8.62 1 Colin Ward - Marlene Pontifex - Wendy Richardson,
Winnipeg MB; Janice Kofman, Miami FL
THURSDAY SENIOR SWISS
34 Teams
MPs A B C Names
6.06 6 1 Warren Sweeney - Renee Sweeney, Victoria BC; Gary
Thomas - Alice Thomas, Langley BC
FRIDAY EVENING 99ER PAIRS
13 Pairs
MPs D E F Names
0.83 3 Sara Stobbe, Dearborn Hts MI; William Hyland,
Leavenworth WA
MORNING KO - BRACKET 2
15 Teams
MPs Rank Names
15.76 1 Colin Ward, Winnipeg MB; Janice Kofman, Miami FL;
Kathy Bye, Burnaby BC; Brian Ransom, West Vancouver BC
SPEEDBALL SWISS TEAMS
13 Teams
MPs A B C Names
2.26 4/5 1/2 Wendy Richardson - Glen Fidler, Winnipeg MB;
Alice Thomas, Langley BC; Maxine Brownstone, Naples FL
SATURDAY AFT 99ER PAIRS
13 Pairs
MPs D E Names
1.14 3 Deb Gregory, Henderson KY; Sara Stobbe, Dearborn Hts
MI
FLIGHT A OPEN PAIRS
58 Pairs
MPs A X Names
21.70 1 Daniel Bertrand, Calgary AB; William Treble, Winnipeg
MB
STRATIFIED B/C PAIRS
46 Pairs
MPs B C Names
8.62 1 Colin Ward, Winnipeg MB; Gail Hyland, Leavenworth WA
6.47 2 Marlene Pontifex - Wendy Richardson, Winnipeg MB
STRATIFIED B/C SWISS TMS
52 Teams
MPs B C Names
8.97 3 Wendy Richardson - Marlene Pontifex - Glen Fidler,
Winnipeg MB; Maxine Brownstone, Naples FL
That's it for now.....Happy Holidays to our Jewish friends who
will be celebrating the New Year this month! Shana Tova!
Hugs...Janice
Answers to Richard's "Bridge Groaners":
1. Root 2. Roth 3. Rodwell 4. Hamman 5. Deas 6. Freeman
7. Seamon 8. Wei 9. Nickell 10. Miller
****************************************************************
*** SPECIAL OFFER! ***
If you missed the special July promotion, it's not too late
because it has been extended into August and September!
Renew in August or September and get a free year of
tournaments!
This daily schedule (Pacific time) is listed in the stats for
"Tourney" "TourMini" & "TourMidi":
Sunday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday Tournaments. The
majority of the Maxis (26 or 27 boards) are IMPs while the
majority of the Minis (12 boards) and Midis (18 boards) are
matchpoints:
6:00 a.m. MP (mini)
9:00 a.m. MP (mini)
11:00 a.m. IMP
11:00 a.m. MP (mini)
12:30 p.m. IMP (mini)
2:00 p.m. MP (mini)
4:00 p.m. IMP
4:00 p.m. MP (mini)
5:30 p.m. IMP (mini)
7:00 p.m. MP till August 15th, then changes to...
7:00 p.m. MP (midi) *NEW Format effective August 15th, 18 bds*
"TourMidi"
7:00 p.m. IMP (mini)
8:30 p.m. MP (mini)
Saturday/Monday Tournaments. Same times as the other days, but
flipped so the majority of the Maxis are matchpoints while the
majority of the Minis and Midis are IMPs.
6:00 a.m. IMP (mini)
9:00 a.m. IMP (mini)
11:00 a.m. MP
11:00 a.m. IMP (mini)
12:30 p.m. MP (mini)
2:00 p.m. IMP (mini)
4:00 p.m. MP
4:00 p.m. IMP (mini)
5:30 p.m. MP (mini)
7:00 p.m. IMP till August 15th, then changes to...
7:00 p.m. IMP (midi) *NEW Format effective August 15th, 18 bds*
"TourMidi"
8:30 p.m. IMP (mini)
To seek out suitable partners, the unmanned "TourPard" table is
open 24 hours a day for your convenience.
---
This applies whether or not you already have a tourney
membership! It's a great deal, and once you try the tourneys
you'll know why we love them so. To take advantage of this
limited-time offer, simply email help@okbridge.com or call toll
free 1-888-OKbridge.
****************************************************************
While we list the lessons offered by the commentators who
write for The Chat, we want to note that our other
commentators also give lessons in most shapes and
sizes....mentoring games, tourney play, partnership coaching,
just about whatever type of lesson you could envision.
Please feel free to contact any of them for lessons:
Colin/Kaltica kaltica@mts.net
Bill/Wintaka btreble@shaw.ca
Lynn/Wishtrik lynn@lynndeas.com
Dann/Pooka pspeard@telusplanet.net
Bob/Bridgboy bridgboy@charter.net
Diane/DianeW diane@walkersweb.org
Bernard/Bluebee Bernardh@btinternet.com
Fred/FredW3 Please msg on OKB
The lessons can be more affordable than you might
think, especially mentoring games. We think our
commentators give you your money's worth when you
chose private lessons, and they really value your
business. Maybe you can hint to a loved one what
you would like for your next birthday!
***********************************************************
We know that it isn't always easy to find a 'friendly' game.
We hope this new site will be a plus in your OKB experience
by helping our friends schedule games with each other.
Visit:
http://www.firesides.net/playdate.htm
and follow the directions to set up a table others can join, or
to join a game someone else has scheduled. You'll receive emails
notifying you as others join the same games.
If you wish to reserve a seat in one of the listed mentoring
games, which are supported by the people attending, we
suggest you do so, and also contact the mentoring commentator
for info.
We have tested this site, but we won't be surprised to hear
of a bug or two. Please let us know at kaltica@mts.net if
you encounter any problems serving, joining, or canceling a
game, or if you have any suggestions.
Have fun!
********************
Have a comment you'd like to make about the FireSide program?
An event or announcement you'd like to share with the rest of
us? A question you'd like answered? Here's a great place for
us to visit every day and keep up with each other:
http://www.firesides.net/chatline.htm
********************
Can't remember if this is a Mentor Cup week or when the next
Fireside session is? Get the complete schedule of events at:
www.firesides.net/whatsup.htm
Bookmark this page, and check back often. You don't want to
miss anything!
For those of you who use a credit card to support Fireside,
it's easy now! Go to:
www.firesides.net/support.htm
*********************
FIRESIDE UTILITY SITES
http://www.firesides.net/checker.htm
http://www.firesides.net/dealhand.htm
********************
And if you haven't had a chance to check them out yet,
here are some links to some of the quizzes that Colin has
developed to enlighten us:
www.firesides.net/staymantest.htm
www.firesides.net/sayctest.htm
www.firesides.net/sarctest.htm
www.firesides.net/spectrumtest.htm
www.firesides.net/bidstest.htm
www.firesides/net/IGITSAP.htm
(Note that IGITSAP must be in CAPS.)
Give them a try! They are fun and instructive.
**********************************************************
September Events: (All times Pacific)
===============================
NOVICE/MENTOR TOURNEY:
Thursday, September 11, 6:00 P.M. and Saturday,
September 20, at 12:00 P.M. A low-key introduction
to the tourney experience, sponsored by Fifth Chair...
see www.fifthchair.org for more info on this and
their other services, including getting a mentor.
FIRESIDE MENTOR CUP TEAM GAME:
Sundays, 5:00 P.M. September 7 and 21.
See www.firesides.net/mtc.htm for info and lists
of past winners. To get on the mailing list for
this game, email me at moocake@aol.com.
OKSCRIPT SEMINAR:
OKScript seminars are held as demand warrants.
Email Kaltica to schedule a session, usually available
on the same Sunday as the Mentor Cup Game, at 2:30 p.m.
OKScript is an add-on program that saves you many
keystrokes while playing on OKB by sending
prepared text to the table, opps, or lobby at the
push of a button. Try to download the program BEFORE
the seminar by going to www.firesides.net/okscript.htm.
For more information, email Colin at kaltica@mts.net.
FIFTH CHAIR INSTRUCTIONAL EVENTS:
=================================
Interested in getting a mentor to play with you periodically
in your learning of this wonderful game? Please contact
tarsh1@mindspring.com and ask for a mentor.
SAYC Novice Team Game:
Saturdays, at 8:00 a.m. PACIFIC. Newcomers very
welcome! In addition to the team game, there will be
an open table for those waiting to join the team game.
This table will also have a commentator.
2/1 Team Game for intermediate players:
Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Pacific. Novices are welcome in
spectator mode.
Look for the words FIFTH CHAIR beside the server's name,
in the table notes, to attend either of these sessions
You can also go to the Fifth Chair Foundation webpage:
www.fifthchair.org if you have any bidding questions.
After clicking on the webpage, find the Ask Anything section.
Write an email to Lucy, and she will be most happy to answer
your questions.
OKbridge offers us an email discussion opportunity,
the Discuss List. You can join that list by emailing them
at Discuss-Request@okbridge.com and put the word 'subscribe'
in the subject line. You can also participate in the
discussions via the OKbridge web site now, just go to the
members area at www.okbridge.com and you'll find the Discuss
List there at the bottom of your opening page.
********************
Moogal (Janice Kofman) stays busy collecting all sorts
of news about our FireSide family members to share with us.
Please help her out by emailing her any news or stories you
are willing to share with the group.
Janice's email address is moocake@aol.com
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thank you Luc for this giggle:
Bobby was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift
when he spotted a famous heart surgeon, who was standing off
to the side, waiting for the service manager. Bobby, somewhat
of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc! Is dat
you? Come over here a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where
Bobby was working on a car. Bobby in a loud voice all could
hear, said argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at
this work. I also take valves out, grind 'em, put in new
parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten.
So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me are doing
basically the same work?"
The doctor was very embarrassed, and as he walked away
said softly to Bobby, "Try doing your work with the engine
running."
========================================================
TREBLE'S TABLE TALK
===================
Whirlwind
That pretty much describes the last few weeks for me, where I
traveled to five different cities, played eight straight days
of bridge, went to a music festival and visited mountain
country in both Alberta and Colorado. I was really a man on
the go until I finally touched down back in Winnipeg last
Sunday.
As Colin "Kaltica" Ward has recounted in his article, we
jumped into his car and in a rare lapse of judgment, I
consented to let him take the wheel. My worst fears were
quickly realized as Colin tried to impress me with his skills
at weaving in and out of traffic. I decided that nodding off
into a fitful slumber was the best course since there was no
way I wanted to be AWAKE while this sort of vehicular mayhem
was going on before my eyes.
As night closed in, we approached Moose Jaw, the halfway
point on our trip. I pointed out to our boy that there were
three or four reasonably priced motels that we could stay at.
"I have a better idea" Colin enthused as I shuddered, "Let's
go to the western outskirts of town and get a place there, so
we can avoid the rush hour traffic when we hit the road again
in the morning." So on we drove, as a shroud of darkness
enveloped us. As we swung north on the highway that skirted
the city, all trace of civilization dissipated entirely. No
oncoming traffic, no lights, no buildings, just an empty
stretch of road with nor a soul around. "So where's the
motel, Colin?" I queried. A lesser man would have been
worried, but he was smugly confident as he responded, "It's
just around the corner." Well, he was partly right. The next
lodgings WERE just around a corner, but it happened to be a
hundred miles before we came to the next curve in the road.
Just after midnight, we at last found a haven for the night in
the town of Craik, although we gave the motel clerk a bit of a
shock: two bedraggled wretches stumbling into his office,
reawakening his memories of "Dead Men Walking".
The rest of the trip to Edmonton passed without incident,
and we managed to find the campground quickly and set up our
tent. Then it was off to the Edmonton Folk Music Festival. Now,
here's me, trying to show Colin, who's maybe spent about 1% of
his waking time in the outdoors, of how much fun this is going
to be. Now, there's SUPPOSED to be all kinds of music, so we
should have no trouble avoiding his pet hate, which is country
and western. So we head off to Gallagher Park, a beautiful
setting for this kind of event. And, of course, the first two
acts are "Blackie and the Rodeo Kings" followed by "Blue
Highway". Then we get the "Bill Hilly Gang" and the "Jim Cuddy
Band". Bad news, Colin's eyes glaze over and he keeps
muttering, "We rushed out here at breakneck speed in order to
listen to THIS garbage?" I sleep with one eye open in the tent
that evening, concerned that he might vent his outrage on me
in a physical manner. The next evening, however, I managed to
redeem myself somewhat as we saw his hero Lenny Gallant, and
Tony McManus, a wizard with the acoustic and classical guitar.
And so it was on to Red Deer, for the annual IMP Pairs
Calcutta. I was hitched up to my regular partner, Dave
McLellan of Thunder Bay. Our occasional success at the bridge
table apparently lulled some of those present into the false
notion that we could actually follow suit. When the bidding
on us commenced, it quickly escalated until we were finally
auctioned off for $1700, fourth highest of the 14 pairs in
Flight A. I had set aside some money to buy Andy "Captain"
Anderson and his wife Curley in the Flight B pool, but an
unexpected expense a few weeks earlier had lightened my
pockets. Consequently, I could only watch as they were
snapped up at a bargain price and then went on to claim second
place.
Towards the end of the first session, we sat down to cross
swords with Colin and his partner, Janice "Moogal" Kofman.
Screens were in use for the event, and Colin was my screenmate
while Jan had Dave on her side of the table. The first was a
real scorcher:
East-West vulnerable, Dealer North
North
S K10762
H K
D KQ8
West C AK85 East
S J S AQ83
H AQ10874 H 9632
D 7 D AJ43
C J10976 South C 2
S 954
H J5
D 109852
C Q43
The auction went:
North East South West
1S pass pass 2H
dbl 4H pass pass
dbl pass 4S 5H
dbl pass pass pass
Colin's first double was for takeout, but the last two were
for penalty, and he was visibly perturbed when Jan pulled to
4S. When Dave continued on to 5H, he chortled as he placed
the red card on the tray and waved the "stop" card in my face,
as a desire that his partner would refrain from yanking THIS
penalty double. Well, this happened to be a classic "Be
careful what you wish for" scenario, as Dave dropped his King
of trumps. Then he ruffed two clubs on dummy and played off
his heart winners, leaving North caught in a squeeze. We
chalked up the overtrick in 5H doubled, and as Jan was shaking
her head on HER side of the screen, Colin bemoaned his ill
fortune and asserted "They greased us, pard."
Actually, there were PLENTY of warning signs in this
auction for North not to be too exuberant with the doubling
cube. First of all, LHO jumped right to game opposite a
balancing 2H by his partner. Not even so much as a cuebid to
strongly invite game and allow West the chance to decline. THAT
means that East is going to come down with a minimum of 15-16
points in support of hearts. Moreover, those points will in
all likelihood be pure values. Now swing over to the 5H bid
by West in direct seat. He COULD have passed South's 4S,
leaving the final decision to East. Instead, he bid 5H IN
FRONT of partner, who for the initial pass followed by the
jump to game must be prepared to defend 4S. So Colin was faced
with a known powerful hand on his left, and a known
distributional hand on his right, which certainly bidding 5H
in the expectation of a make at this vulnerability. So despite
the plethora of high cards, the double is not as clearcut as
it looks when you consider the ramifications of the opponents'
bidding.
Dave and I had a good first session, but wilted in the
Saturday evening session and finished minus for the day. On
Sunday morning, we were pretty steady and moved back into
fifth, just one place out of the overalls. The last round was
a real roller-coaster, as we were good early only to have
three horrible results in the space of four hands. We kept
plugging, however, and culminated with a flurry of good
results. When the smoke had cleared, we found ourselves in
third place.
Here are a couple of interesting hands from the final
session:
North: S-- AKJ762 H-- A4 D-- 7 C-- AQ52
South: S-- 94 H-- KQ5 D-- AQ10964 C-- J4
The bidding was:
North South
1D
1S 2D
3C 3NT
4NT pass
Slam in either spades or notrump was a reasonable proposition.
It turned out that we gained IMPs on the hand as the 6S
bidders went down. A diamond was led at most tables, and
declarer went up the ace. However, clubs were 6-1, albeit
with the King onside, and spades were 3-2 with the Queen
offside. 6NT is actually a slightly better contract, and with
South playing the hand, he can test the black suits and then
fall back on the diamond finesse, which is successful.
North COULD have blasted to slam, but on the bidding,
opener might well have extreme shortness in responder's spade
suit. Give South one more club and one less spade, and all
you'd want to be in is game. The problem was that a jump to
3S by North is INVITATIONAL in most partnerships, so he had to
bid 3C to create a forcing auction. Over 3NT, responder has
three choices: 4S, which does not really fully describe the
slam potential of the hand; 4H, unequivocally a cuebid but
what is the followup going to be? or the actual 4NT, which
describes the high-card value of the hand but misses out on
showing the sixth spade.
After the session, Dave and I agreed that at IMP scoring,
we'd play a jump to 3S after opener's 2D as FORCING and 2S as
invitational. It's actually fairly logical. Look at it this
way. Opener is showing a minimum single-suited hand, and
probably has two or fewer cards in responder's suit. If
responder is weak, therefore, he should just pass 2D and not
engage in a trump fight. So there is a strong argument to be
made that a 2S continuation by responder should be at least
mildly constructive, and that a jump to 3S be game-forcing. IF
we had that agreement in place beforehand, South would get the
chance to "raise" spades when partner shows at least a six-
card suit and North can drive towards slam. As it was, we
languished in 4NT and gained a rather lucky 9 IMPs when the
slam bidders went down.
During the Calcutta weekend, Dave and I had a rough time
against one of the favoured pairs, Nick Gartaganis and Piotr
Klimowicz. On the flip side, we pretty much had our way with
another of the contending pairs, Dave (the Butcher) Smith and
Doran Flock. These trends carried over to the Regional in
Calgary the following week, as Nick smoked us in the primetime
knockout teams before we finally shook the monkey off our
backs by nipping them in the semifinals of the morning
knockouts. In the Board-a-Match teams, we again got the best
of Doran and the Butcher, with this hand making the highlight
reel:
East: S-- A85 H-- J864 D-- J74 C-- KQ10
With no one vulnerable, the auction goes:
West North East South
pass 1S pass pass
dbl 2S 3H 3S
pass 4S pass pass
pass
And it's your lead. What is your choice?
Give it some thought and consider the auction before
making your decision.
At the table, East made the natural lead of
the King of clubs and the contract made with ease,
as the entire hand was:
North
S KQJ1073
H 7
D AK82
West C A7 East
S 42 S A85
H KQ93 H J864
D Q10653 D J74
C J3 South C KQ10
S 96
H A1052
D 9
C 986542
At the other table, our partners doubled 3H and defeated it
two tricks for +300, so we had to defeat 4S to win the board.
I fingered the K of clubs as a lead, but partner was marked
for about 8-10 points. Moreover, why is South after passing
1S, now proud enough of his hand to venture a 3S bid?
Finally, I decided the only way the contract was going to make
was if dummy had a ruffing value, so I plunked down the Ace
and another trump. Now declarer had no spades left in dummy
to take care of his losing diamonds, so he went down one and
we won the board.
Finally, an interesting bidding sequence from the same
Board-A-Match teams. You hold this collection of jewels:
S-- K10xxxx H-- void D-- AQJxx C-- QJ
You open 1S, partner responds a forcing 1NT and you follow up
with a 2D rebid. Partner takes a preference to 2S. It's
unlikely that partner has three-card support in your methods
unless he has a very weak hand. Do you subside in 2S or make
a game try?
At the other table, opener patterned out with a 3D bid,
and West signed off in 3S with:
S-- Qx H-- 9875 D-- Kxx C-- K10xx
While responder has two useful cards in the Queen of spades
and the King of diamonds, it was tough to gauge whether the
club King was a working card or not. At our table, I made my
game try with 3C, following the Maxi-Flex principle (with two
equally attractive choices, make the bid that consumes the
least space). There are solid reasons for making the game try
in clubs. If responder accepts, that means you will be
getting the A or K of clubs in dummy opposite your QJ, a
useful holding indeed. Moreover, 3C gives partner room to bid
3D and show diamond values, which you are equally interested
in. With his actual hand, Dave had no problem in leaping to
4S over my game try in clubs, as he now had three known useful
cards. By reaching game, we won the board against the partial
that our opponents languished in at the other table.
Next month, I'll have lots more hands from the Calgary
Regional. We'll see you then!
********************
You can write to Wintaka (Bill Treble) at: bbtreble@mts.net
You will find Bill doing his FireSide sessions on Tuesdays
at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Wintaka and Kaltica present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series)
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised play
sessions. Email Bill (bbtreble@mts.net) or Colin
(kaltica@mts.net) for more information.
================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to BobW for these giggles:
Police answers:
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas,
but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Just how big were those two beers?
===================================================
AND FINALLY KALTICA
===================
Adventure West
Wednesday, August 6th, 2003
Billy ("Wintaka") Treble and I set out by car
on our grand adventure. With one of us driving and
the other navigating, the choice was between arriving
at the wrong place alive or the right location dead.
We went with the latter option as I took the wheel.
This is not to say that Billy's orienteering was
flawless. Here is a tip: if you find yourself on
the road to Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo-Jump (no, I ain't
making this up), pray that the search parties have
already been sent out. Start looking about for a
St. Bernard with a brandy cask around its neck. Time
to use that quaint jouelle expression:
"I can't even SEE 'lost' from here!" :(
Thursday, August 7th, 2003
We somehow arrived at our first destination (the
Edmonton Folk Festival) only to discover that we had
to drive half the way back to Winnipeg to find a
parking spot. Then we had to schlepp our chairs and
gear to the site. As we rushed towards the ticket gate
Billy collided with a stranger. Billy, his victim and
our two chairs flew in all four directions of the compass.
Billy dragged himself to his feet, picked up the chairs
and hurried on without a backwards glance. I then watched
as the man he'd struck stood up and walked through the VIP
gate. Only when he turned around to see who had tackled
him and spoke to an attendant did I recognize the celebrity.
Ever hear of a guy named NEIL YOUNG?
Sadly, Neil was not scheduled to play at the Folk
Festival. I mean, why would they actually book a FOLK
MUSICIAN to play at a FOLK MUSIC FESTIVAL?
In truth, the "music" that night was terrible and our
"accommodation" worse: in keeping with the spirit of the
WINNIPEG version of the Folk Festival, we (read "Billy")
had decided to camp out in a tent. Note: my idea of
"roughing it" would involve cable (rather than satellite)
television.
Of course, Edmonton had its first ever monsoon
that night. And, naturally, only my side of the tent
was flooded.
"Gee," the bone dry Billy remarked as I wrang
out my sodden clothes, "it's a good thing the tent
didn't leak!"
Urge to kill. I got my revenge, though. Sleeping
in a 2-man tent is not usually a great time to find out
that one is lactose intolerant. Billy graciously bought
me my first bottle of LactAid in the morning.
Friday, August 8th, 2003
Things began to pick up. Lenny Gallant stole the
whole show (no surprise) at the Folk Festival. Mind
you, he didn't have much competition. You've heard
of three-chord rock bands? The first entertainer was
a three-NOTE blues singer. The second was some lady
whose guitar didn't seem to be plugged in. The third
was not merely the band from "Deliverance"; it was a
bluegrass quintet made up of the CAST of "Deliverance".
I inserted Lenny Gallant's "Lifeline" tape into my
car stereo and left it there. A week later, in Calgary,
even Jan (a confessed Celine Dion fan) was singing along.
That night subzero temperatures struck the campsite.
Given that this was August (I had to check my calendar),
we had not packed our Arctic gear. Ever try to sort a
bridge hand with frostbitten fingers?
While visiting the Edmonton Bridge Club (the best
facility that I have seen in quite a while) we learned
that our host and hostess in Calgary had chosen THIS
moment (one day before Jan and Sara were to arrive there)
to end their 7 year marriage. Oops!
Saturday, August 9th, 2003
We met up with Sara and Janice in Red Deer, 90 miles
south of Edmonton. This was the main purpose of our
trip: the famous Red Deer Calcutta. For those unfamiliar
with a Calcutta: the pairs (or teams) are auctioned off
beforehand. Whoever owns the pair (or team) that wins the
ensuing event takes home the lion's share of the monies in
this OWNERS' POOL. In my humble opinion, next to a Gator,
a Calcutta is the most fun one can have playing bridge.
Kudos to organizer Doug Deschner (deschner@telusplanet.net)
for running this one so well!
In this particular Calcutta (actually, two of them:
one for experts, another for non-experts), the pairs had
to buy 50% of themselves from their owner. Those in the
expert section were being sold for between $300 and $2000
(Canadian) or so; pairs in the Novice-Intermediate section
were going for between $150 and about $1000. There is also
a PLAYERS' POOL in addition to this OWNERS' POOL. Each
pair pays a $300 entry. This money is ultimately divided
between the top finishing players. In this Calcutta the
top 4 pairs (and their owners) would be "in the money".
Janice and I had vacillated on the subject, but
eventually decided to play in the more challenging
Expert event. Sure, we were outclassed, but we hadn't
let that stop us in Montreal. Why let it influence our
decision here? :)
The auction of the pairs commenced in earnest.
Jan repeated her worry that no one would bid on us.
"Nonsense," I assured her. "That never happens."
One and only one pair went off without anyone
bidding on them.
Us, of course.
We had to purchase ourselves. This, coupled with our
$300 entry fee, ran us out of Canadian cash and there was
no ATM handy, so we were not able to bid on Andy "Captain"
Anderson and his wife Curley "Curley" Anderson. This
proved costly, as Andy and Curley finished second in the
'B' side. Indeed, the two of them cleaned up since they
also owned the FIRST place team in the 'A' section!
It was not a total loss for us, though. Janice,
Sara and I owned 10% of Bill and his partner from the
Canadian Open Pairs Championship, Dave McLelland.
We started play, but it was rough sledding. Jan
and I finished a respectable -9 IMPs after Day 1 of 2,
about 40 IMPs out of first.
Sunday, August 10th, 2003
Janice and I had a disastrous day, with both of us
going down in a cold slam. Try this play problem:
S- QJ9 H- x D- AKxx C- AKQxx
S- Axxxx H- AJ9xx D- xx C- x
How do you play 6S (with S-Kxx on your left) after
a small Heart lead to RHO's Queen?
We wanted to avenge ourselves on the field
for not bidding on us, but this was not to be.
Jan and I ended up 13th of 14 pairs. Not to worry
about us, though: revenge has a L-O-N-G memory. :)
Speaking of revenge, there was the player who had
rolled his eyes annoyingly at Janice when we didn't
know our pair number. Not to worry, Jan. I think I
know how to deal with this. I saved this for the last
round against this character:
Jan EyeRoller Colin LHO
Pass Pass Pass! 1C
Dble Rdbl 1NT Pass
Pass Dble Rdbl Pass
Pass Pass
Looking at a truly hideous 7-count, Jan had
to take a while for her final Pass. But, hey,
where is one going to go here? [Shrug.]
+1160 for 1NT redoubled, making two.
"He Passed in third seat with FOURTEEN HCPs!"
the eyeroller complained.
"Yes, but look at the bright side. At least we
know our PAIR NUMBER now!"
When play finished we drove 120 miles south
to Calgary to stay with our hostess, Caroleigh
Houghton. We met Caroleigh's nephew, Brian Ransom.
He is a handsome 40 year old who looks about 25.
He and his partner, Kathy Bye, are from Vancouver.
Unfortunately, Sara had to stay at the playing
site hotel so we didn't see her as much as we would
have liked. :(
Monday, August 11th, 2003
In order to prove to her friends and family that
she did NOT spend the whole week in the playing halls,
Janice proposed that we drive out to Banff and Lake
Louise so that she could take some photographs.
Off we went in Brian's van: Brian, Billy, Dave,
Janice and myself. As you know, Lake Louise is one
of the loveliest spots on earth. Its beauty even
survived the arrival of this group of ragamuffins.
While in Banff we noticed that Canadian icon
Bruce Cockburn (whom we had missed at the Folk Festival)
was playing there that night! Billy and I breathlessly
stated that we would attend, but Janice nixed the idea.
Hey, who would want to see a living legend when we can
ignore our own post-Calcutta bridge weariness and play
in the Evening Knockouts?
I swear that the ACBL staff must sit around
in Memphis plotting new ways to do in that Kaltica
swine. During my 15 year absence from membership
I had racked up 300 MPs in my very rare appearances in
ACBL events. They told me that these points would only
be reinstated if I sent them money. Yeah, right.
Needless to say, I declined to do so. Now, you would
think that this would mean that these points would NOT
be added to my total, right? Given that I rejoined the
ACBL only two days before venturing out west, I hadn't
received a Bulletin (on which my Masterpoints would have
appeared) yet. And, of course, the registration desk
did not provide a membership directory in which we might
look up our Masterpoint totals. Hey, why blow the
element of surprise?
Brian, Kathy, Jan and I entered the Knockouts
and quickly demolished two teams in a 3-way match.
Both enemy squads were very raw. Even before we
finished play, though, we discovered that due to me
having too many Masterpoints we would be disqualified.
It seems the ACBL HAD added on those Masterpoints
after all! So not only did our two novice opponents
survive THIS round, they actually met in the FINAL!
And for THIS we missed BRUCE COCKBURN? Ahem.
Oh, but it gets worse (are you even remotely
surprised?). In order to make amends to our team
mates for my "causing" our disqualification, Janice
committed us to playing in the Morning Knockouts
with Brian and Kathy. The MORNING K.O.'s, mind you.
"Morning? What is this concept?" I wondered.
(There is a reason why Firesides begin at 11 A.M.
PST--1 P.M. my time.)
Jan had to explain that not only was there an
8:45 (yes, 8:45) A.M. in addition to the 8:45 P.M.
with which I was familiar, but that we would actually
have to GET UP at this ungodly hour! Get up at
8:45 A.M.? Why bother going to sleep?
I had to question the conditions of contest.
Shouldn't events be structured to ENcourage teams
to win? Here, victory was DIScouraged by the
ominous prospect of getting up at 8:45 A.M. again!
I guess the ACBL plays upside down attitude. :(
Needless to say, we won all our matches and had
to get up to play at 8:45 A.M. each and every morning.
"Nevermore!" quoth I, echoing the raven.
Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
We met Danilo "Shade" Fiorenzano and Gail
"Frodo" Hyland at the site. Indeed, they played
together in the Evening 99er Pairs and finished
a very respectable second in the 'E' group. Gail
and our very own Sara "Believer" Stobbe had already
won that group in the Afternoon 99ers. Well done!
As you will see, though, Gail wasn't finished her
streak yet.
Not to be outdone, Billy, Dave, Mike "MYuen"
Yuen and his partner, Les Fouks, won the Board-A-Match
Teams. Meanwhile, our Knockout team mates, Brian
Ransom (who has been playing duplicate for only two
years!) and Kathy Bye WON the Open Pairs. Outright!
Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
We made the mistake of winning our first morning
Knockout match. I can only guess that Jan carried me
throughout this entire event, since I can't remember
playing in it.
If only to prove that their finish in the Red Deer
Calcutta had been no fluke, Andy and Curley Anderson
stopped off to finish a clear fifth in the Open Pairs.
From our own efforts in this event one might imagine
that Janice and I had also finished a clear fifth--of
vodka before playing! :(
Jan and I played together for eight days straight.
On NO occasion do I remember her EVER putting down a
second trump when I overcalled--not even when she was
marked for 2+ cards there, as in this MPs auction:
LHO Jan RHO Me
(1H) Pass (1NT) 2S - On 4 Spades!
How could Janice NOT have 2+ Spades here? I know
HCPs are too much to ask for, but some TRUMPS would be
nice, Jan.
The Calgary Regional is unique in its unequalled
hospitality. They have a tradition of "home dinners",
where out-of-towners sign up on menu sheets and are
driven to local volunteers' houses. There they are
treated to a wonderful home cooked meal. Thanks, Naomi!
Janice and I were--and still are--staggered by this.
Thursday, August 14th, 2003
Dann Kramer and his team got edged out by Perry
Khakhar's squad in the Swiss Teams. Perry is a local
legend and bonhomme whom we all love [to tease, at the
very least]. Ahem. Dann? Isn't losing to Perry a
violation of the Calgary Code of Conduct or something? :)
Henceforth, the official Fireside method of greeting
Dann will be:
"You LOST to PERRY Khakhar???" :)
(Editor's note: EVERYONE lost to Perry Khakhar!)
Jan, Marlene "Nantica" Pontifex, Wendy Richardson
and I won the 'B' side in this same event with the
unusually low score of 5 wins out of 8. Billy's team
finished tied for seventh with an equally unimpressive
5.25. It being in such short supply, Billy and I had
learned to economize on our luck.
The biggest surprise of the day was Event Chairman
John Gilchrest's win in the Senior Swiss with his wife Ruth.
John is a very colourful reformed Winnipegger. But wait
a minute. Isn't John around MY age? Sigh. Where did my
youth go? Oh, right, I remember: I spent it at the bridge
table. Okay, I'm back on track now.
I went out to enjoy a wonderful Italian dinner with
Sara, Billy, Brian, Dann, Caroleigh, Deborah ("FPDoc"), DLoye,
Gail and Bill Hyland. Janice had committed "us" to going
and then backed out at the last moment. I suspected that
the restaurant might be a little more upscale than my usual
fare when I saw valet parking. What? No drive-through?
Friday, August 15th, 2003
Sara and Bill "Gofigure" Hyland came third in their
section of the 99er Evening Pairs. Yet again, misfortune
struck me, as our team won its match in those cursed
Morning Knockouts. Another 8:45 A.M. start to come! :(
Saturday, August 16th, 2003
The stage is set. We are in the Finals of the
Tier II Knockouts. Jan has to fly home as soon as
the last card is played. Our opponents understand
this and agree to hurry the game along. One of them
lied, though. My LHO attempted a Sominex Coup at
every turn, questioned ALL of our claims, refused to
claim when Declarer herself and even disputed our
concessions. Our CONCESSIONS, no less.
"The rest are yours."
"No, best play it out."
Times like these make me want to rethink my
position on Canada's strict gun control laws.
In the second half her partner was gracious
enough to handhog, while Jan and I sacrificed
every time this lady would have been on play.
She did not get to declare a single hand in the
second half.
We won by more than 50 IMPs. Jan was delighted
to extend her "exit win" string; she is now 2-0
for events played en route to the airport.
Other glories were to come. I got back to the
playing site from the airport in time to form a
partnership with our very own Gail "Frodo" Hyland
and play in the Stratiflighted Pairs. While Billy
and charming Calgarian Dan Bertrand were cleaning
up on the 'A' side, Gail and I won the 'B'. It was
a Fireside sweep! We nosed out fellow Winnipeggers
Wendy Richardson and Marlene "Nantica" Pontifex.
Obviously, her mentoring games with Billy on OKBridge
have really helped Marlene's game!
Saturday, August 16th, 2003
I got into my car and pointed it east. 13 hours
later I was in Winnipeg. Hey, this navigating thing
is EASY! :)
---------------------------------------------------------------
http://66.147.103.154/tournaments/results/2003/august/0308004.htm
http://seemagazine.com/Issues/1998/0917/mus5.html
http://www.head-smashed-in.com/
P.S. The correct play to the slam we misplayed?
S- QJ9 H- x D- AKxx C- AKQxx
S- Axxxx H- AJ9xx D- xx C- x
Win Heart Ace and lead a SMALL Spade to the Queen,
continuing trumps ONCE if LHO ducks. Then cash Club Ace
and ruff one, draw trumps and use Diamonds to get to
dummy to toss the Heart losers on the good Clubs.
**********************
You'll find Kaltica (Colin Ward) doing his FireSide
sessions on Friday evenings at 5:30 P.M. OKbridge time.
Kaltica and Wintaka present classes on:
SAYC (Rainbow Series)
2/1 (Spectrum series)
Precision (Prism Series),
and other selected bridge topics (Kaleidoscope series).
They also offer private/group lessons and/or supervised
play sessions. Email Colin (kaltica@mts.net) or
Bill (bbtreble@mts.net) for more information.
=====================================================
GIGGLE BREAK
Thanks to Pringle for these giggles:
Words That Don't Exist...But Should...
Aquadextrous (akwa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to
turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
Carperpetuation (kar 'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one
more chance.
Disconfect (diskonfect') v. To sterilize the piece of candy
you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming that
somehow it will 'remove' all the germs.
Elbonics (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people
maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dustpan and keeps backing a person across the
room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under
the rug.
Lactomangulation (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling
the 'open here' spout on a milk container so badly that one
has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
Peppier (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant
whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if
they want ground pepper.
Phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they
answer.
Pupkus (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after
a dog presses its nose to it.
Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of
always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick
it up, even when you're only six inches away.
=====================================================
Fireside Chat Issues
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